Judas Rajini, What About Us?

Hey Snow White,

Latelywe’ve come upon reports that you are actively engaged in discussions to reimburse those schmuck distributors/exhibitors for the massive loss incurred because of their ill-advised decision to pay a premium for your Kuselan crap-show.

Judas anna, by just focusing on distributors you are ignoring another constituency that fed you, nourished you and made you wealthy beyond all your wildest bus-conductor dreams. We mean your schmuck fans, of course. Yes, the dolts who think that Aayiram Jenmangal eduthalam, unnamadire actor kadaikamaatan.

Now, shouldn’t you be compensating your muttal fans too by refunding the ticket money for putting those poor souls through the torturous ordeal of sitting through this pathetic piece of shit a.k.a Kuselan.

Of course some of your fans showed you and Kuselan the middle finger and unnavachu comedy pannitannga.

What an irony that the kick you threatened Kannadigas landed on your munji (face). That will teach you to be careful before you go around threatening vodaikavenda.

But don’t be disheartened. After all, the relationship between you and your fans has been Ondu Premada Kathe for over 30 years now.

Hey Snow White, your fans even luved your blond-hair, fair-skinned mottai-boss look when you were cavorting with that younnnng Delhi girl in Sivaji.

Un Kannil Neer Vazhindal, your fans are ready to commit suicide. Do you want us to remind you of the fan who doused himself with kerosene and lit a match when you were going through a rough patch in your marriage with Lata. The poor fan perished. And you rose Phoenix-like from the ashes.

Even though you are a Padikkadavan, your less privileged and moronic fans believe that you are a Mahaguru whose heart is full of tender thoughts toward the downtrodden sections of society (like your fans, for instance).

It would be no exaggeration to say that for your dumb fans, you are a Iraivan Kodutha Varam.

Nay, for them you are the very incarnation of Arunachalam.

But little do your fans know that you’re a Kiladi Kittu, who speaks from both sides of your mouth.

Just look at the way how like a Pokiri Raja, you’ve managed to anger all sides in the Cauvery water dispute between your adopted state Tamil Nadu and your Thai Veedu Karnataka.

When Baba bombed, didn’t you take an asinine step and throw some crumbs to the idiot distributors to demonstrate that you are a generous Yejaman and not a mere Uzhaippali like your millions of fans.

OK, it’s time for you to stop dicking round and like a Thanga Magan you must refund the ticket money of fans for the agony you and your cronies inflicted on them in your Kuselan nightmare. Don’t just stop with the exhibitors in addressing losses. Go one step further.

If you return the ticket money to your fans, you will be remembered as the Baasha with a heart of gold and the Dharmadurai of Tamil movie industry. The Panakkaran, who is motivated beyond just panam (money).

Ninaithale Inikkum, illae?

Your fans will swear by Sri Raghavendra that you are the Rajathi Raja of Tamil movies even if you are a false prophet.

We have no doubts that you will heed the request of your fans including yours truly. After all, aren’t you the one who dazzled us with your statement: Nan idha kettu vela seyyala, idha kettu velai seyyaren. Now, lest you be tempted to take our message lightly, this is no Sahodarara Savaal but a Aadu Puli Attam.

Of course, if you are foolish enough to reject our refund request, there will be no Viduthalai for you and your fans will turn into Paayum Puli.

Need we remind you at all that your fans belong to one large Galate Samsara.

Be warned, this is a Dharma Yuddam from which there is no turning back.

Ticket panam nammu veetaku varanam, illayaana ponum…Well, you know what Suman said in Sivaji.

When we receive our ticket money back, we’ll believe that you truly meant it when you said: En vazhi… thani vazhi.

As a nice, reciprocal gesture from our side, we will not ask you to compensate us for the lousy popcorn at Multiplex Cinemas (Towne Center) but please do remember to include the cost of soda ($3) and gas ($38, at $3.80 per gallon for 220 miles) along with the ticket money ($16) refund. If you do so, you will have earned the title of Nattukku Oru Nallavan. Not just Nallavanuku Nallavan.

Anbulla Rajinikanth, ippo En Ticket Refund Kelvikku Enna Bathil?

Ippadiki,
Unn Anbukku Naan Adimai,
Polladhavan

N.B: We apologize for heavy use of Tamil & some Kannada words in the above post.

6 Responses to "Judas Rajini, What About Us?"

  1. sriny_97   August 25, 2008 at 4:53 am

    Ha ha ha…Laughing my a$$ off after reading this…The way in which the author has used Tamil words and his movie names into coherent statements is truly incredible!!

  2. gandhiji   August 25, 2008 at 9:26 am

    Very funny and clever.. 🙂 this will probably land in many Kamal fans mailboxes.

    Did you really travel 220 miles to watch this??? I thought you were in NJ. I didn’t even go to a theater 4 miles away.

    Where is “Nan idha kettu vela seyyala, idha kettu velai seyyaren.” from?

    p.s.:
    Although you seem to know tamil quite well, your pronounciation seems to be a bit off.. some examples..
    eduthalam, unnamadire, illayaana, nammu veetaku
    No offense.. just an observation.. it could just be that your tanglish spelling is different from mine. Not just this post.. even in other posts.. that’s probably why people are questioning your tamil knowledge.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write above: Did you really travel 220 miles to watch this???

    Yes, actually 224 miles.

    2. I didn’t even go to a theater 4 miles away.

    That just shows how much smarter you are.

    3. Where is “Nan idha kettu vela seyyala, idha kettu velai seyyaren.” from?

    Baashha

    4. Although you seem to know tamil quite well, your pronounciation seems to be a bit off….that’s probably why people are questioning your tamil knowledge.

    We don’t think it’s the pronounciation that makes readers question our knowledge of Tamil.

    It’s that occasionally we come across as so far from the mainstream of Tamil-ness that it makes people skeptical of our Tamil origins.

  3. dilip   August 25, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    Thats what i already said dont make exaggerations on rajni like he is sole suprstar, he is sun,moon etc. his movies will become hit becaus of other stars (like vadivelu and jothika in chandramukhi) or because of over hype created by media. I already stated that he is selfish to the core. he will never come to politics to serve people he will just say in dialoques i will come i may come it is up to god. if at all not coming to politics he can serve people by having foundation.he will not even do that. He sings in song uppita tamil mannai naan maarakamaaten ( i dont forget tamil soil l’ll be grateful to it) and en udal porul aaviyai tamilukum tamilarukum kodupathu muraiallava (i will give body,soul and everything i have to tamils).but will he do it never he hardly preaches what he says. he will never do what he say’s but in dialogues he say naan solrathan seiven seiyrathathan solven (i’ll do what i say i,ll say what i do).what a comedy he never does that.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write above: he will never come to politics to serve people he will just say in dialoques i will come i may come it is up to god.

    After Gandhiji (the real one, not the above commenter/Rajini fan), has anyone come into the political arena to serve people?

    2. Our post was more in the nature of a satire…you seem to have taken it literally.

    3. Notwithstanding the miserable fate of Kuselan, it’s still hard to think of any other superstars in Kollywood.

    On a completely different track, we’re seeing reports that Ajith is out of Billa 2.

  4. dilip   August 26, 2008 at 12:52 am

    you wrote “After Gandhiji (the real one, not the above commenter/Rajini fan), has anyone come into the political arena to serve people”. definitely you cannot say like that some decnt politicians like kamaraj mgr anna have really served the people.only now they are not doing it.
    thats what i said it is not neccesary that you can serve people only thru polilitcs. atleast rajni could heve served the tamils by having any charity or foundation.
    even service done by “gnadhi and nehru” are dubious .they are responsible fro the big problems in india prevailing now like split between hindu and muslim and separation of pakistan from india.

  5. asdf963   August 26, 2008 at 11:09 pm

    I know one hardly gets to see Rajini’s acting potential now-a-days, due to all those commercial movie directors like S.P Muthuraman (except aarilirundhu arubathuvarai), K.S Ravikumar,etc. But when people ask you for sugestions for good Rajini movies,you only named about two. In movies live Mullum Malarum, Avargal, Moondru Mudichu, Moondru Mugam, Thillu Mullu, Sri Ragavendra, Dhalapathi, Aval Appadithan, Johnny, Netrikan, Kai Kodukkum Kai, clearly project him as a man with great acting potential. Hence, a person of good interest in movies like you, would agree with me that there is more to actor Rajinikanth than his mass appeal title “SUPERSTAR.”

    P.S: I still admire your reviews!!!

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    We are currently re-watching Mullum Malarum and plan to review it shortly for the benefit of those who may have never heard of it.

    Update: Here’s the Mullum Malarum review.

  6. joeantony   October 23, 2008 at 4:47 am

    Muttaalgal naangu Vagaipadum
    (Fools are catogorised in four)

    1. Muttal (Fool)
    2. Adi Muttal (Low Fool)
    3. Vadi kattuna Muttal (Filtered Fool)
    4. Rajini Fans

    :))

    cant stop laughing while reading each and everyline in the post…

    but we should admire the talent of Rajini keeping millions of his fans as top fools for decades.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Indian movie fans have an obsession with their idols that borders on deification (Kadavul-ification).

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