Predictions are boring. So 2008-ish.
Since we are no Nostradamus or Sahadeva, we’ll instead talk about what we’d like to see.
The following are some of the items on our Wish List for 2009:
* LTTE leader Velupillai Prabhakaran surrender to Indian security forces and plead to be hanged for his crimes against humanity.
* Desi butcher and Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit retire and start a halal meat center in Jackson Heights, NY.
* Mayawati to put a Freeze on her Birthday Celebrations so that PWD Engineers can live to see another day.
* Stop sale of acid in Andhra Pradesh.
* Narendra Modi to be locked up in Guantanamo Bay prison.
* Shiv Sena leader Bal Thackeray take up sanyas and appoint a Muslim as his successor.
* Indian IT firms decline outsourcing contracts out of fraternal sympathy for their suffering American brothers and sisters.
* Abhishek Bachchan retire from Bollywood but not before apologizing to fans for his decade-long torture.
* Pray that our Senators stop soliciting for sex in airport restrooms.
* Ban H1B & L1 Visas and deport all the coolies.
* For the U.S. to pass an amendment to prevent idiots (yes, we mean our dodo George W.Bush) from becoming Presidents ever again.
* Tamil starlet Nayantara enter a convent and become a nun as repentance for her vulgar shows on the screen.
* Bollywood actress Priyanka Chopra request her boyfriend Harman Baweja to migrate to Siberia or Antarctica.
* Apple to cut price of the iPhone 3G to $49.
* LTTE leader Velupillai Prabhakaran fall at Sonia Gandhi’s feet and apologize for thrusting widowhood upon her.
* Less terrorist violence in India.
* Residents of Tamil Nadu celebrate Liberation Day each time the Sri Lankan Army wrests control of a piece of territory from the LTTE terrorists.
* The Indian Cabinet en masse sign up for Alzheimers’ treatment.
* Improvement in the status of Indian Muslims.
* Pakistan to curb its favorite export to India – terrorism.
* Tamil film actor Vishal quit films and take up the job of shouter in the Ulundurpet taluk bus-stand yelling out Kanchipuram, Tindivanam, Thanjavur, Chidambaram, Mayavaram, Villupuram, Oddanchatram, Palani, Erode, Salem…right, right.
* Wall Street should return the $700 billion bailout money.
* Kamal Haasan should not be able to count beyond 10.
* A nationwide healthcare system in USA similar to UK or Canada.
* Tamil star Ajith to stop his Ultimate Korangu antics in movies.
* Detroit Big Three should return the $17 billion of bailout money and shut down their junk producing factories.
* Improvement in public transportation in U.S.
* Constitutional amendment to prevent states from privatizing Highways in U.S.
* Bailout package for common man in America.
* Rahul Gandhi to be replaced by Priyanka Gandhi (at least she’s pretty).
* Anushka Sharma be certified as an imbecile for failing to recognize her husband without his mustache.