Some of the dumbest lines in literature come from the scriptures, or the religious books.
Ask not which religion.
For it matters not, which religion. For they are all the same in their nonsense.
Let’s take a look at some of the most hilarious nonsensical lines from the various scriptures starting with Christianity:
Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so men persecuted the prophets who were before you. – Jesus Christ, Sermon on the Mount.
Was Christ serious or was he high when he told his followers that they were blessed when persecuted!
For sure, religious nonsense is not the monopoly of Christianity alone. Hinduism, the major religion of India, is replete with drivel. Here’s the most popular verse from the Bhagavat Gita:
Karmanye vadhika raste ma phaleshu kadachana, ma karma phala hetu bhurma te sangostav karmani.
(Prabhupada’s translation: You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your action. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty.) -Â Bhagavat Gita, Chapter 4.
If you are not entitled to the fruits of your labors, then who is? And what are you entitled to, if anything at all.Â
Islam is no exception to the baloney in the scriptures:
Whatever of misfortune striketh you, it is what your right hands have earned. – Koran, 42-30
Yeah, blame all your misfortunes on yourself. If you are robbed or plundered, you’ve no one to blame but yourself.
And to think that hundreds of millions go on conversion expeditions, fight wars and kill without compunction because of some religious nuts scribbled some asinine drivel on parchment.
Great Dumb Lines – From the Scriptures, Of Course added by SearchIndia.com on
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your intention and thoughts behind this piece are good ….it goes without saying that people should not fight …..but the quotes selected by you are out of context and its interpreted/understood in the wrong way …..
Do your duty without having any (unreasonable ? ) expectations ……. Don’t stop doing your duty ….because you don’t get the expected results ….that’s the essence of the famous quote from Bhagavad Gita ….
What is your’s will come to you ….is also mentioned in our text’s …
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write above: but the quotes selected by you are out of context and its interpreted/understood in the wrong way …..
No, it’s not.
Those carefully selected quotes make no sense at all and go against the essence of man.
Rejoice in the face of persecution (as the Sermon on the Mount advocates)? As they say in German, das ist höherer Unsinn.
As for the Gita verse cited above, disinterested obligatory duties? Is that the ne plus ultra of nonsense or what.
We quoted just one sentence from the Koran, but the book’s an embarras de richesse of drivel.
Much of what’s in religion and the countless prescriptions and proscriptions in the scriptures go against the very nature of man.
Humans are hardwired to covet, violence (against both other animals and humans) and for engaging in all sorts of evil behavior. So, what matters and counts is not religion but laws.
The magnitude of the injustice prevailing in India is proof against the very existence of anything divine.
May I take the liberty, to bring to the attention of SI, the commandment which says:
“Thou shall not take GOD’s name in vainâ€
Being a theist, content with what GOD almighty has bestowed upon me, invariably I tend to put an end to any argument / discussion with my atheist friends by saying
For believers no explanation is required
For non-believers no explanation is possible.
On your last para, Yes, human beings should NOT indulge in forcible conversions, killings and wars in the name of religion, as religion or GOD should be a personal experience. NOT to force – what you believe in, even upon your spouse or children.
Naavu olledhu helidhare, kelavaru yaaridare ? (When we say something good, who listens?)
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Naavu Devaru Gedda Manava (one who has vanquished God). 😉
nice! there is going to be melee here 🙂
I agree with srinivas. The essence of the verse from bagvad Gita is as described by him. The bagvad gita is a series of questions and answers. This particular advice is given by Krishna when Arjuna is in a state of doubt as to whether to fight with and kill his own kith and kin for a kingdom/respect that rightfully belongs to the pandavas. In this context, Krishna advices him that he shouldn’t think about the result(of killing his cousins) but perform his duty with righteousness. If he follows the righteous path, what he deserves will come to him. He urges Arjuna to believe that he is not responsible for killing his family but its their misdeeds that has forced him to do it.
Having said this, I feel, no religion can be interpreted by considering just one/two quotes. The actual context has to be taken into consideration. I appreciate your view that wars should not be waged for religion, but the way you chose to validate/stress the fact is not apt.
Just wanted to mention a line my teacher says :
” Hinduism is not a religion, It’s a way of (living) life. It becomes a religion when you add to it all the superstitions floating around.”
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: I feel, no religion can be interpreted by considering just one/two quotes.
The reason we picked the above quotes was because they are among the best known quotes in the respective religions.
In our view, they are the microcosm of the nonsense inherent in all religions.
Even if you take some of the other slokas in the Gita, like a few of the famous ones about the indestructible aspect of the soul in chapter 2, we think they make no sense whatsoever. The reality is the here and now on Earth. As to what happens after death, the only certainty is decay. The rest is mere conjecture.
No sane man would take words in its literal meaning and also isolated-without context. Infact, IMHO no words of anybody should be taken like that. You shouldn’t forget that words are just one of the ways of communicating an experience and like any translation when the experience is translated to words it loses half its meaning. That is why, I am not a fan of Quote of the days (not the SI type. It has USUALLY a sentence or two of the context) or such “pearls of wisdom” from very old books full of crap that crackpots wrote when high (or The scriptures). So to best understand them you should lookup the context, if you still don’t understand get really drunk, smoke pot or wish you had been brought up from childhood to be dependent on an imaginary being with imaginary supernatural powers who lives in an imaginary plane where none without imagination(“belief”) would see it. SI, have you seen it then? Do you BELIEVE(smoke pot) now?
PS: 1.The relationship between religion and hallucinogens/alcohol is not trivial. Infact it goes way back to its founding according to some.
2.”believers” think that smoking pot is not bad and that everybody smokes pot, even girls in India if you will. So they are right they say. Even if what they believe is true (Most believers just believe what they want to believe.) why does the majority ALWAYS have to be right. They can be wrong too. Witch-hunting and Inquisitions had popular support in its days(just one example of many).
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. The Last Witchfinder by James Morrow is a lovely novel for those interested in witch-hunting, witch-burning, inquisition, Salem trial et al.
2. While context is important for scriptures, far too often the believers’ shrill call for a context that few have any idea about or a context clouded in the fog of history is, frequently, in our opinion, a sly justification of an indefensible status quo from the beneficiaries of the status quo or due to lack of comprehension or fear of an alternative or absence of an alternative to the status quo.
Better the material world seen through the fog of some nice weed rather than a non-existent, elusive and malleable religious context peered through the mists of history.
3. Besides pot and bacchus, we’ve seen the light via TM too (thank you, Mahesh Yogi)…although these days, we’re drifting along on other planes.
4. You write: Even if what they believe is true (Most believers just believe what they want to believe.) why does the majority ALWAYS have to be right. They can be wrong too.
If you look at the contemporary world, the majority has often been wrong than right.
Wrong, both from a harm-to-others and from a self-interest perspective.
Look at Germany, the former Soviet Union, the America that elected George W. Bush to two terms, Indian freedom struggle (absence of violence delayed Independence in our opinion), successive Indian governments post-1947…..
When future historians look at our era, the headline will most likely be the Relentless March of Folly.
Hi, I have been reading your blog for quite sometime now.
Infact you write things so differently and interestingly it has a become a practice to visit your site once in a while to read your thoughts.
Just have a question to you. May not be really related to this post. But reading all of your posts in general – why is that there is always so much of negativity in everything you analyse. Be it a movie review or a political topic or random things like the one above. Just curious to know about the way you analyse things? Thanks!
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write above: But reading all of your posts in general – why is that there is always so much of negativity in everything you analyse. Be it a movie review ….
This issue of negativity or positive outlook is a strange beast, in our view.
Satisfaction with the status quo (positive outlook) has always been the privilege of a select few throughout man’s course on earth. Far too often, even the right to express dissatisfaction with the status quo (or negative outlook) has been denied to most with severe punishment meted out to the ‘disobedient.’
Also, many of us prefer not to see the light (seems like a distracting glare, not an illumination) or gloss over unpleasantness in vain hopes that it’ll disappear.
Notwithstanding our perspective, we’ve tried to buttress our arguments with indisputable facts.
Whatever be America’s imperfections, this is one of the few societies where unfettered expression of one’s views is still possible (although Big Brother is now listening and reading our e-mails and blogs by control over the fat pipes that transport our voices and bits).
Philosophy and religion is not for pea-brains and sickos like you. You just stay with your Shakeela shit.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write above: You just stay with your Shakeela shit.
Shakeela stuff? Oh, Boy. 😉
Bring it on, you ‘mensa’ turd.
where do you read all this …any specific website ?
SearchIndia.com Responds:
We have Prabhupada’s Gita (hard copy). Pl see Chapter 2.
Sermon on Mount – Scroll to the end for links to the Sermon.
Koran
Hopefully, my comment in another post inspired this post :).
Philosophical difference is the USP of each religion…
but you grouping them all together in one ‘dumb’ collection… ofcourse a usual stunt from a atheist.
In order to make a better marketting each religion makes some ideology that is ‘different’ and unique from others. Christianity says if you are made to suffer, you are blessed – the idea here is to make you understand that those who made you suffer are cursed…
take a case (yours itself)- you are robbed ….
by bible words – you are blessed.. but its imperative that the one robbed is cursed. Christianity says that the life of the world is temproary, so your sufferings are temproray , your luxury (from robbed money) is temproary.. but the blessings or the curse you earned are permenant in the eternal life…
(ah, this is what I was taught by the clerics… but will see if it is real only when I die 🙂 )
Islam, other hand says you are the cause of your sufferings… pretty sraight forward, if you didnt study properly, you dont get good job.. u suffer..
robber case.. you didnt equipe yourself to prevent or attack the robber back and save your money, so its your fault. Logically, islam would be the easiest religion that athiests would be convinced with.
Hinduism… very complicated and abstract…
but bit related to christianity…
if you do gud now… you will be happy only in your next birth .. but now you may suffer or be happy depend on you previous genma’s activities… (multiple cycles – incase of xtianity its just two steps)
Thats why kirshna say, dont expect the fruit (coz your never gonna get it in this birth.. and you never realize it with the current memory).. jus keep the good work going with out any expectations , so by logic if you follow krishna and keep doing gud in all the birthts… you will be always happy and you will be doing gud…
Its better to be moderate with religions, its good to be a theist but bad to be a extremist or a strict follower. I like voltair’s concept as well..’believe in god not in religion’….
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. We are more concerned with the here and now…not the after-life, where we are nothing but food for the maggot although most religions would want you to think otherwise.
2. You write: I like voltair’s concept as well..’believe in god not in religion’
Voltaire is an interesting character. We recently purchased a book by Voltaire on Louis XIV
There is an interesting, undisclosed event, which SI hasn’t shared with us till now, it goes like this:
In the early days, while SI was going around the temples of Chidambaram, Pondicherry, Vridhachalam and other places in search of the free sundals given there, he happened to bump into GOD at one of the places. Feeling pity on SI, GOD said Little boy, henceforth don’t go after free sundals, try to make a decent living. I shall be with you in your endeavor, but I shall remain invisible to you and others. If you wish, you can see my footprints along with yours where ever you go. From then on SI stopped his search for sundal, concentrated on his studies and became a Techie.
Doubting Thomas as he was, SI often used to check if GOD was with him and noticed always there were two sets of footprints, one his and the other Gods, even while he was moving in the serpentine queue in the wee hours on a cyclonic chilly day, along the compound wall of American Consulate in Madras, to submit his immigration papers, he noticed there were an additional set of footprints, apart from his. Smiling to himself that GOD is keeping his promise, SI was sure, he would migrate to US.
Living in style with US Citizenship, a comfortable job, wife, kids, booze, weed, whips and a blog to chip in the extra dollars, over the years, SI had totally forgotten about his close encounter with GOD.
When recession struck and all kinds of unfathomable hardships befell, SI looked around and got furious, to see only one set of footprints. Lo and behold! The floodgates opened…SI shouted GOD where are you??? I trusted all your drivel..blah, blah, blah you were with me in all the good times, now you have ditched me and left me alone, to walk on stones and thorns “I see only one pair of footprints.where have you gone now”??????
Then he heard God’s melodious voice on his iphone, Listen My Dear Son! Those footprints you see, are not yours, they are mine! Coz, I was carrying you – through the walk, on hard road of life with stones and thorns, so that your feet doesnt bleed.
Don’t you realize in spite of all the difficulties, you still have a blog to survive on, just imagine, had you NOT been here (in US) by my grace, and had you been running this site any where from your birthplace, my ‘Kishkindas’ would have ransacked your office, smashed your servers and PCs, thrown your iphone out of the window and you on to the streets, to go back again in search of sundals in my temples.
Still fuming, not completely recovered from the anguish, SI started typing a headline..Great Dumb Lines – from the scriptures, of course..
The rest, you all guys know.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write above: Don’t you realize in spite of all the difficulties, you still have a blog to survive on, just imagine, had you NOT been here (in US) by my grace, and had you been running this site any where from your birthplace, my ‘Kishkindas’ would have ransacked your office, smashed your servers and PCs, thrown your iphone out of the window and you on to the streets, to go back again in search of sundals in my temples.
Funny…:)
But you left out ‘smashed our head.’
Oh my God!! I really laughed my ass off on this one. Hilariously funny. I had to leave my work station, went to the stairways of my company to laugh very hard…
SI, this fella got you!!! 🙂
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Yeah, Nice one.
True…the monkeys in Mera Bharat Mahaan would’ve peeled our banana. 😉
the comment says Apr 9 2009…. old comment but well… interesting … really good twist on a familiar story of footprints. 🙂 love it…
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Yes. 😉
what_if seems to have a very secure job.. his creative juices are flowing through all the orifices unfettered by the surrounding recession and insecurity.
SI, why do you always hyperlink the iPhone whenever you mention it? Sometimes it seems as though you are forcefully mentioning the iPhone even when it does not need to be mentioned — almost like you want to boast that you own a iPhone (is it “a iPhone ” or “an iPhone “.. never understood the use of “an”) .. looks like the other users, what_if, coolfrog, joe etc have also noticed your interesting use of the word “iPhone “..
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write above: why do you always hyperlink the iPhone whenever you mention it?. Sometimes it seems as though you are forcefully mentioning the iPhone even when it does not need to be mentioned
1.You are wrong and the point you make does not hold up under examination.
2. For instance, the iPhone category was started about 9 months back. During that period, we have hyperlinked it only 17 times in the comments section.
Let’s now compare the iPhone hyperlinking with a movie like Villu.
Villu was released just three months back i.e. in January 2009. Since then, in the comments section we’ve hyperlinked Villu 21 times.
Why just Villu…the results would most likely be similar with Drona or other prominent movies too.
We suspect the results will not be dissimilar even in the posts.
Try harder next time. 😉
3. The only thing worth boasting about in life is a night out with Jessica Biel. Rest is illusion.
4. BTW, hyperlinking is rightly done to get newcomers to read the older pieces.
ok, you win
but http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTx9WMsxLLM
Don’t tell me that you haven’t watched “The Terminator”!
SearchIndia.com Responds:
We’ve seen The Terminator. Although it’s nonsense, we love the movie.
“I’ll be back” is one of our favorite menacing lines.
While analyzing your use of “iphone”.. (I got 19 hits for “our iphone” with/without hyperlinks..)
I encountered this http://indiablogs.searchindia.com/2008/08/15/bachna-ae-haseeno-crap-more-crap/#comment-1974
Asha had a rough start in her SI life. 🙂
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write above: I got 19 hits for “our iphone” with/without hyperlinks
Since both of us have lots of time to fritter away on frivolous pursuits, for Villu with/without links, the number of mentions in comments is about 49 in three months. Bottomline, your arguments still don’t hold water.
2. You write: Asha had a rough start …
Now, she’s going to be really mad at you.
Offtopic, don’t know why but we are desperate for some crunchy thin crust pizza today. Like all cheapo desis, we searched for the cheapest pizza and we came up with this – Pizza Hut has a nice lunch buffet $6.49. If you have an Entertainment Book coupon, it becomes Buy One, Get One Free. BTW, we got the Entertainment Book ($35 value) free when we subscribed to our newspaper. Wonder what it takes to get the newspaper free. Tell ya, when it comes to cheapos, Indians are way, way ahead of the Chinese. 😉
Offtopic 2: Had a hard time with RedBox code on Wednesday (the first two didn’t work). Luckily, had the iPhone 😉 handy and tried a different code. Have a feeling RedBox will soon stop the code freebies.
My wife says that the Chinese are ahead.. the only place I use for bargains is the internet, and I don’t know what their behaviour is there.
Wednesday freebies are over.. it was part of the March movie madness.. Interestingly, the lady who introduced me to Redbox was chinese!!
I think it is a good ploy.. I have forgotten to give back the movie on Mondays about 5 or 6 times.. I think there are many others who aren’t as diligent as me in not spending the extra buck.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
(Stuffed to the gills with Pizza)
You write: Wednesday freebies are over….I have forgotten to give back the movie on Mondays about 5 or 6 times.
No wonder we had trouble. We have never paid the RedBox fine . Not even once. 😉
@ΕυνοÏχοι: .. unfettered by the surrounding recession and insecurity.
Recession is a “Maya†or illusion, where every greedy scumbag from the big corporate to the small time retail trader (the one having cash-stuffed pillows in his house) tries to pull the wool over the eyes of the gullible – under the guise of recession, including the milk-man who claims that, his cows are not giving enough milk like before, they have cut down on production! – due to recession!!
Insecurity begins its effect by raising the BP and sugar levels, then moves on to depression and will finally lead to the destruction of the self. Therefore, shun the feeling of insecurity.
(Limiting here – to the topic – scriptures and by extension to believers and non-believers)
To overcome the surrounding recession and insecurity, ‘Believers’ will always have the Lord to look upto, and believe in dogmatic sayings such as;
Kaduvulai Nambinor Kai Vida Padaar ( Those who trust in God, will not be let down)
Yam Irukka Bayam A’en (When I am there, why do you fear)(ususally found printed below Lord Murugan’s photos)
Ask and it shall be given, seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you.
Insha Allah ! sab teek ho jayega, Allah teri madath karega. ( God willing, everything will be alright, God will help you)
And such others, according to their own faith.
On the other hand, Non-believers of the theory of Creation, but who believe in the theory of evolution, have no one – except their bosses to look upto. They have to adapt to change and go by the principle of ‘Survival of the Fittest’, in the worst case scenario, may even stoop to lick the p***y or suck the d**k – (depending on whether the boss is a she or a he), for their ‘survival’.
We all know that, this recession is not going to wipe-out the human race from the face of this earth. Already many years have passed in just existing, rather than “Living†life to the fullest. Take a chill pill.
Life is like a ride in Disney Land, we are left with – just this one life, so, enjoy the ride!
Loss in business ? Lost your Job? What next ?
Wake-up, dust the CV, update it and start applying, like the recession-hit person, desparate to get any job, who applied as:
With reference to your ad for a Receptionist and an Accounts assistant, Male or Female… as I am both(!!) and can handle both well with my past experience, and perform to your satisfaction, I am applying for the job(!)
Off topic: It took quite a while to untwist my tongue, which got twisted trying to pronounce the name ΕυνοÏχοι …a samurai name? tried breaking it into multiple syllables…oohh hmmm…no luck!:(
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write: With reference to your ad for a Receptionist and an Accounts assistant, Male or Female… as I am both(!!) and can handle both well with my past experience, and perform to your satisfaction, I am applying for the job(!)
Nice one. 🙂
2. You write: ΕυνοÏχοι …a samurai name?
If it were so, it’d be so ironical. 😉
hmm.. I used to remember the whole Kandar Sasti Kavasam and recite it every day.. before I also turned into a Bielever.
this mathematical formula also works quite well for both
Bielevers and non-Bielevers ..
http://www.lindqvist.com/index.php?ID=1725
SI, are you continuing your TM.. was/is it good?
what_if,
Enter ΕυνοÏχοι into wikipedia.. you’ll know it is Greek.. and what it means.. inspired by the insult that SI hurled at me.. just kidding, SI.
å¤æ¦å£« means Samurai according to google translator.. so I’ll upgrade my name to that.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
TM is good.
There are moments when you experience a total thoughtless state. That momentary state is quite a nice feeling.
Since we are human (disputable, according to some of our readers), we don’t practice the good things of life as rigorously as we ought to.
Live is like an ice-cream, whether you eat it or not, it’s gonna melt away.
(thanks to Madurai Muthu, – in yesterdays ‘SUN TV – Asatha Povadu Yaaru’)
SI, do you get time to see Indian TV Channels ? Not the saas bahu serials, but others like Sun TV – Asatha Povadu Yaaru, Jaya TV – Ennodu Pattu Padungal by SPB, Crime Story – Udaya TV (The background narrator of the episodes is really hilarious) and The Buck Stops Here – NDTV Barkha Dutta.
On off topic, thanks to the Samurai Warrior, had seen it in Wiki – before posting, but wanted to confirm / hear it from the horse’s mouth.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
No, we do not see the Indian TV channels.
Some 2 or 3 years back, we had Sun and a few other channels but seldom watched it. So, we pulled the plug on it.
Like the printed word more than the flashing images. Now, we spend most of our time online.
if you really want a good explanation from that gita verse,read baladeva vidyabhushanaji’s “gita bhusana” available at krishna.com,or read bv nararayan maharaj’s gita bhashya available at purebhakti.com
SearchIndia.com Responds:
We have the Chinmayananda version of the Gita that we keep poring over now and then.