Incredible India 30 – Striptease Acts, Indian Ishtyle

My, my, how time flies.

See, it’s already 18-days since the last update of Incredible India.

Time for a new edition of Incredible India, folks.

Bet all ye schmucks in boondocks-land think that stripteases are only in Hollywood movies or enacted out by all those immoral White bitches and Black sluts for the horny bastards in America, right.

Shows how little you know, you putzheads.

While you were sleeping, India not only turned into the numero uno rape destination of the world but Indians have embraced striptease acts with mucho gusto.

Of course, our Indian puritans are no strangers to striptease – after all, Indians tried the greatest striptease ever on the polyandrous Draupadi a gazillion years back (read the Mahabharat epic for details).

When it comes to striptease acts, Indians, however, have evolved their own unique version or ishtyle as the folks back home call it.

Not for our priapic Indians, the sedate L.A. (Century Blvd) or pre-Giuliani Times Square NYC version of a woman slowly divesting herself of all her vestments.

Heck, our Indians want more fun and more participation in their striptease acts.

Striptease, the Indian ishstyle usually involves a group of men, sometimes inebriated but more often sober, pouncing upon a hapless woman in public and tearing out her clothes as she howls in shame and agony.

Usually, the Indian striptease is enacted in a prominent public place with plenty of onlookers including the family of the woman.

How much does it cost to watch an Indian striptease, you ask?

Dickhead, it’s all pukkat (free).

Hey, there’s no compulsion to buy high-priced drinks either like we were forced to on Century Blvd in L.A.

But the Indian version is mostly standing room only and since 99.99% of the time it’s done out in the open, there’s no air-conditioning.

Must be hard to endure the heat, na (we meant the summer heat moron, not the heat in your loins).

Just in case you are curious, Indians do not engage in age-discrimination when it comes to public stripping – young, MILF or old, anyone’s fine as long as the person has XX chromosomes.

Lest you think we’ve consumed more Bailey’s in one sitting than is good for us, here are some recent notable striptease incidents:

* India’s latest striptease act was in Patna (capital of the North Indian state of Bihar), where a young woman from neighboring Jharkand was stripped in public on the busy Exhibition Road by a group of men (who else) on Thursday, July 23.

* A day later, on Friday a woman in her 50s was stripped, again in Patna (near the temple in HIG Colony).

* A few weeks earlier, villagers from Pardiyavali (near Aligarh in the state of Uttar Pradesh) stripped a woman because her son had committed the monumental folly of falling in love with a girl from another caste.

* A few days prior to the Pardiyavali incident (see above), four policemen from Khandela area of Sikar district (in Rajasthan state of North India) are alleged to have stripped and assaulted a Dalit woman. What’s the big deal? Just another day at work for the Indian pigs in Khaki.

* Oh, no. The folks in South India are as keen on striptease acts as the UP and Bihari Bhaiyyas in the north.

A few years back, a young woman from Vanenur village in Bellary district of Karnataka was stripped and paraded naked for two hours on suspicion of helping another girl to elope.

Did we hear someone yell Mera Bharat Mahaan?

No? You sure?

We could have sworn we heard the dirge Mera Bharat Mahan.

5 Responses to "Incredible India 30 – Striptease Acts, Indian Ishtyle"

  1. Dr.UnkHaf D. Aktar   July 26, 2009 at 5:55 am Responds:

    What is it they say about bolting the stable doors after the horses have….

  2. boopalanj   July 26, 2009 at 9:28 am


    Public, as usual, remained a quiet spectator. Didn’t it? Responds:

    In the Roman Coliseums, for the public’s entertainment we had people fighting wild animals like lion, tiger et al.

    Now for the public’s amusement in India, we have striptease acts in which a woman has to fight a pack of beasts with members of the public usually mute onlookers.

  3. deepa   July 26, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    When will these people learn to respect human rights Responds:

    In India, Bollywood stars have little respect for the law.

    Egregious examples include Mumbai-blast linked criminal Sanjay Dutt and the deer poacher Salman Khan.

    BTW, have you seen this story in today’s newspaper?

    A lot of Bollywood stars are worthless pieces of trash who can’t act to save their lives and owe their position solely to being born in filmi families. This applies to Kollywood as well.

  4. deepa   July 27, 2009 at 1:51 am

    OMG!!!! What the f***? And the same asshole directed devotional music video??

    I have to agree lah there’s a lot of sucking up in the film industry.

    Salmon fish head kills homeless people while driving reckless and no one dares to say anything to him and all these young actresses swoon over Sunjay Dutt’s sexy appeal is so annoying! Ewww….i wouldnt mate with him even if he were the last male on earth and we are in dire need of population!! Responds:

    1. You write: young actresses swoon over Sunjay Dutt’s sexy appeal is so annoying! Ewww….i wouldnt mate with him even if he were the last male on earth and we are in dire need of population!!


    2. You write: Salmon fish head kills homeless people while driving reckless and no one dares to say anything to him

    Wonder whatever happened to the court cases. Sad, the law has no teeth in India when it comes to the rich and famous.

  5. raghavendrav   July 30, 2009 at 11:30 am

    here are more disgusting thing which can be added to this list..

    Where is this leading to?? Responds:

    In our view, there are three hellholes in the world in terms of callousness and brutality in society – India, Russia and China.

    The brutality in these three nations is seeped in the culture, in the history and in the very DNA of the people there.

    Russian history, be it the Tsarist years and Siberian exiles marching to their death on the Trakt, the later Leninist and Stalinist nightmares et al are written in blood of tens of millions.

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