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(For SI blog reader Gandhiji)

The Netflix summary of the 1996 film Carried Away describes lead actor Dennis Hopper’s performance in the film as a tour de force.

Let’s see if the film lives up to the hyperbole.

Besides Dennis Hopper, the 1 hour-48 minutes movie features Amy Locane, Amy Irving, Julie Harris and Hal Holbrook.

We are watching Carried Away by streaming the film via Netflix Instant Play.

Some 25 minutes into the movie, we can say this looks to be an interesting film.

Events in the movie play out far from the hustle of the cities in a relaxed rural setting sometime in the 1950s or maybe early 1960s.

You see, some of the characters  are still talking of the Korean War.

Oh, yes, our sexy gal Catherine Wheeler, horse-riding lover and daughter of a retired Major, has already joined the school.

So the fireworks should start soon. ;)

We’ll update this post after finishing the movie.

Update:

Boy, never has a girl looked more sexy than when 17-year-old Catherine (Amy Locane) stands in the middle of a desolate rural road leaning against the back of a run-down pickup truck, unbuttoning her white blouse, shoving her hands down the skirt into her twat and her face in the throes of deep desire. Continue reading »

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(For SI blog readers Twig, Supergirl and GaneshKumar)

By the abysmal or non-existent standards of Telugu films, Aithe (2003) is a decent movie.

Truth be said, it’s hard to believe those unschooled Tollywood louts made this film.

Whether this movie is just an aberration, the side-effect of a solar eclipse or a radiation leak, we’d say kudos to Chandrashekar Yeleti.

For the benefit of our semi-literate schmuck readers, Yeleti is the director of Aithe and also credited for the story and screenplay.

If Aithe proves anything, it’s that you don’t need those hideous clowns Chiranjeevi, Nagarjuna and their simian peers to make a decent Telugu movie. Continue reading »

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The Amitabh Bachchan-Ben Kingsley starrer Teen Patti is receiving the thumbs down from movie reviewers.

Here are excerpts from a sample of reviews:

Reuters:

“Teen Patti” is a textbook study in how most films slip uncontrollably in the second half and any element of thrill or suspense you may have felt disappears in the chaos of a badly written and executed script.

….The director doesn’t know where to go once the basic plotline is established, letting the characters and the script go helter-skelter. The ending is totally out of line with the script, a lot of questions are left unanswered and at the end of it the stacks of cash start to look repetitive. Some of the dialogues are laughable.

….This is one game that is eminently avoidable.

IBN Live:

[I]t goes wrong horribly towards the end. Such big money and great actors are not put to optimum use, thanks to a flawed script. Continue reading »

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UK Tamils Bugger Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa at BO;
Trisha, Simbhu, Menon Hang Your Heads in Shame

Goat-fucking idiots! Offspring of lunatic donkeys! Shameless eunuchs from somewhere.
- the drunks yelling in the beggar-van in Rohinton Mistry’s tour de force A Fine Balance P.323

Thank God, fictional drunks can’t watch Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa.

For if they did, the tipplers wouldn’t hesitate one nanosecond before unleashing the same vitriolic barrage at (mis)director Gautam Menon and the twin midgets in his menagerie i.e. Simbhu and Trisha besides hurling a few more choice epithets at these offenders.

Boring Shit
Is there any one among you that can answer this question – How did this Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa abortion come to be made and how did it get to be released in theaters?

Since you schmucks can’t answer that, here’s our hypothesis: Some Stalin or Grimalkin had more money than it knew what to do with and the end-result was this boring shit called Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa.

If you go by the credits, Gautham Menon has also penned the story for this grossly underwhelming movie.

Yet another unimaginative, trite love story, Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa offers little charm to the audience.

Same old boy sees girl, falls head-over-heels in love drivel. And as y’all know the course of true love never does run smooth in Indian films and opposition invariably comes by way of the stubborn father and the different religions of the lovers.

That’s all there’s to this junk. Really, guys.

And we yawned through the ennui for 2 hours and 30-minutes.

To think that this Menon fella has been making movies for a decade and this shitty script is all he can come up with?

Sad. Depressing.

Depressing Acting
Simbhu or Vombhu or wateva name this Little Supershit is known by is no great shakes as an actor.

We saw him earlier in Vallavan and tonight in this abortion. Continue reading »

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Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa Review – Stupid Shit

Folks, our worst fears and your best hopes have both been realized tonight.

We’ve lost it.

Not one small screw or even a few screws but all our screws have been threaded out of their sockets.

Yes, we’ve braved the snow-storm and strong winds barreling up the North-East to watch the premiere show of Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa.

As to why we would choose to commit this kind of Harakiri we’ve no idea.

Maybe, it’s Satan’s minions at work. Or chalk it up to the Vegetable Dumplings in Hot Garlic Sauce we had a short while ago.

Or maybe it’s Allah’s curses raining down on us for all our impieties.

Wateva.

Here we are in the hall waiting for the Tamil movie Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa to start.

For the benefit of the schmucks (and there are quite a few amongst our readers), Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa comes to us courtesy Tamil film ‘director’ Gautham Menon.

Yeah, the same freak who gave us that grotesquerie Vaaranam Aayiram.

Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa features our bête noire Trisha Krishnan and that podi payan Simbhu.

From what we’ve gleaned, Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa is a love story.

There are about 40 people in the movie hall. Not bad considering the snow-storm forecast.

Guys, we don’t know if we can survive Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa.

Schmucks, if we don’t come out of this trial by fire vertically, consider this post our sayonara.

It’s been nice knowing y’all. Maybe. ;)

Related Stories:
Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa Review – Stupid Shit

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When market researcher IDC puts out its quarterly server numbers you can be certain of one thing – Sun will have the worst performance of all the major server vendors.

Sun = Always the laggard.

We have IDC’s 4Q 2009 server number estimates with us and as sure as night follows day Sun is again the worst performer.

Overall server revenues declined 3.9% year over year in the quarter but Sun’s server revenues fell a whopping 17.3%.

Here take a deko at the numbers:

In other findings from the IDC survey:

* Linux server demand improved in 4Q09 with revenue growing 6.1% to $1.9 billion compared Continue reading »

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