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Apr 232010
 




Darling kadhu, Parama Daridram idhi (horrible nonsense).

Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the stinking garbage torch has been passed in Tollywood to a new Telugu movie Darling,  conceived in Hyderabad, midwifed in Switzerland and killed aborted in Araku. (Thank you, JFK)

Folks, there’s absolutely no reason for this piece of bullshit Darling to ever see the light of the day, except that a bunch of retards  had more money than they knew what to do with and less competence than they should have had to make a watchable film.

That dung like Darling, supposedly a romantic film, gets made and then gets released in theaters worldwide amidst so much hype is testament to the complete abdication of all sense of taste, that is if the people living in the South Indian state of Andhra Pradesh ever possessed any.

From the early scene of two kids performing on stage to the final chase by the villains in a convoy of cars, this wannabe romance, directed by a half-wit called A.Karunakaran, screams nonsense.

The shallow amateurish story in its essence – that is, if you dare call this fig-leaf crap a story – is that of a just out of college young man Prabhas (Prabhas) pining for his childhood sweetheart Nandini (Kajal Agarwal).

Never mind that the duo were young children when they parted, the girl off to Switzerland but of course speaking Telugu with nary an accent. Guess, Telugu must be the national language of Switzerland.

The so-called twist in the story as narrated by our hero Prabhas to the local rowdy (Mukesh Rishi) adds nothing of value to the story. Zilch.

Just stupid meets bizarre.

Stupid Fights
As is par for the course in Telugu movies, there are fights galore in Darling.

All of it comically stupid, of course.

In one fight scene at the beginning of the film, Prabhas vanquishes a small army of evil-looking ruffians as he walks along a busy road with his mother and a lady relative without the duo even realizing he’s dispatching a bunch of knife-wielding thugs.

Hey, what’s a Telugu film without at least four or five fights, each of which makes you desperately want to puke your dinner on the screen.

How’s the Acting?
Prabhas does a reasonable job in the acting department but given the jackass script he’s handed, even Balaji of the Seven Hills, the God beloved of the Telugus, can’t work his magic and salvage this trash.

Kajal Agarwal is not as impressive in the acting department.

In two crucial scenes, the young twit Kajal is all at sea. The first at Switzerland when Prabhas walks off and the second at Araku, again when Prabhas walks away. On both occasions, the girl is a big let-down.

Soporific Music
None of the songs or their accompanying picturization rose above the mediocre.

Whether it’s the first song Yeyo or the Hosahore number set in Switzerland or the last track Pranama, it was all limbs flailing and loud noise.

We didn’t feel our hair raise during any of the songs. Just an unendurable sense of ennui and a rabid desire to twist the knife into the guts of the director Karunakaran.

More Nonsense
As if all this nonsense were not enough, we’re subjected to the grotesqueries of Prabhas’ friends, the boring antics of Prabhas’ father (Prabhu) and his buddies and the side story of the thug (Mukesh Rishi) , who doesn’t hesitate to push people off tall buildings when angered.

One bit of advice – Please don’t interrupt this thug when he’s talking to his daughter Nisha. That really pisses him.

Lift Your Middle Finger
We so desperately want to love a Telugu film. Seriously, we really want to. Alas, these Tollywood monkeys just won’t let us.

Guys,  if you are a human with any notion of taste, it’s impossible to bear any positive sentiments toward this shit a.k.a Darling.

Show these simians the middle finger. This garbage a.k.a. Darling deserves nothing less.

To spend $$ on this abortion is akin to pissing away hard-earned money.

Bottom Line VerdictAs with the bunch of Telugu films we’ve watched lately, Darling too is unforgivable, unwatchable, unendurable, unfathomable shit.

  5 Responses to “Darling Review – Garbage, Redux”

  1. Felt really bad for u, SI, after reading the review. The pains u must endure to become a movie critic! It is when these kind of movies release that the need of test screenings for all indian movies is felt.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    The fundamental problem with our (i.e. Indian) movie business is the lack of quality movie scripts. Horrible beyond words.

    We’ll try to watch The Secret in Their Eyes soon, by way of redemption.

  2. Offtopic

    The by-far best talk shows in tamil channels is hosting a show in US (Not dumb as arattai arangam and other nonsense in SUnTv)
    http://www.behindwoods.com/tamil-movie-news-1/apr-10-03/neeya-naana-gopinath-22-04-10.html
    If you have a chance you can check out?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    The event is in Los Angeles. Too far from where we live (about 4,500KM).

  3. A new movie titled Prasthanam is released in Telugu recently and people rave about it….Can U please review it and tell us what’s the fuss about??

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Will do, sweetie-pie.

  4. Perhaps the worst year ever for Tollywood! :(

    And it’s better for you,if you avoid watching any Telugu release till June. (None of the forthcoming big Summer releases seem to promise anything better.)

    I hope few(Or one at-least??) better films may release later. :O

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write: And it’s better for you,if you avoid watching any Telugu release till June. (None of the forthcoming big Summer releases seem to promise anything better.)

    Alas, we were pinning all our hopes in Balakrishna’s Simha. ;) Releasing tomorrow in the U.S.

    Plus, the movie has the non pareil, sui generis, one-and-only Nayantara. ;)