If you concur with us that the success of a movie reflects the citizenry, then the South Indian state Tamil Nadu is a lost cause.
You see, SI blog readers who should know inform us that the 2005 Tamil film Thirupaachi featuring Vijay alias Punnaku Pandi met with a stupendous reception at the box office.
Excuse us if we’re late for the festivities marking the ‘1,800th day‘ celebrations party of Thirupaachi and couldn’t share in the heady excitement.
After all, we finished watching this movie just a few moments ago.
In our not-so-humble opinion, Thirupaachi is peerless trash. An asinine story made worse by mediocre acting, commonplace music, bizarre stunts and ridiculous dances.
We’re still reeling in shock and awe at the carnage ‘Young General’ Vijay inflicts on the screen, both figuratively and literally.
Seldom do movie-goers get to come face to face with such a stellar cast of characters weirdos:
* Patasu Baalu – A thug played by Pasupathy.
Guns and sickles are so passe for our Patasu Baalu (Cracker Baalu). His modus op is to string a long necklace of firecrackers around the neck of his unfortunate victims and set fire to the crackers. When he’s not behaving like he just had a nasty encounter with a pack of rabid dogs, you can find Patasu mumbling:
Indhu Baalu pesamatan, Patasu thaan pesum (This Baalu won’t speak, only the firecrackers will).
Patasu also gave us the cheeky headline for this trash with his timeless, sui generis taunt to the hero that while
even Bin Laden may be captured by the Americans but his hideout is forever safe from all prying eyes.
* Shaniya Sakadai – Telugu actor Kota Srinivasa Rao is cast in this horrid, over the top role of another Madras thug.
* Pan Parag Ravi – A no-name clownish thug, seemingly years-late for his appointment with a barber.
* Sivagiri – This main character is played, of course, by Vijay and inflicts the maximum agony with his mediocre acting, comical dancing and awful stunts.
In a nutshell, Thirupaachi is the account of a young man who comes to Madras with his just-married sister and single-handedly (well, almost since he does have inside support from an old buddy in the police force) takes on the nastiest and meanest looking thugs in the big, bad city after painting his face yellow with a red pottu and gray holy ash on his forehead.
Sure, he comes out on top after killing ‘em all and living up to the ludicrous boast that he is more than the sum of 11,550 police personnel in the city.
As if the sick shit on the screen were not bad enough, there’s the bizarre yana, yana, yana noise in the background.
If ever there was a non-story story, it would be Thirupaachi nonsense.
The violence is utterly gratuitous, particularly the breaking of the old Iyer’s arm or the gory murder of the hero’s sidekick Kannappa over a movie-ticket queue.
Lest we forget, a complete cretin by the name of Perarasu is not merely the director of this unendurable ordeal but also claims responsibility for the story, screenplay, lyrics and dialogs. Bet even Steven Spielberg and Jim Cameron can’t lay claim to such breadth of talent.
You call this Drivel Song & Dance
When he’s not torturing us by moving his limbs at all funny angles or pushing bad guys into electrical transformers (we counted at least two instances but do let us know if we missed any), our hero Sivagiri is tormenting us with his zany dances lip-synching to nonsense like the irritating Nee Endha Ooru or the nauseating Vadu, Vadu…Appan Panna Thappula or the sick Kumbida Pona Deivam near the temple.
Barely is Vijay on the screen for a few seconds in the opening moments of the movie when he bursts into the stupid Nee Endha Ooru number at the village function for the Tamil God Ayyanar.
Every single song/dance in Thirupaachi is designed with simply only one motive – to impose the maximum suffering on the viewers.
Trisha & the Beach
Remind us never to go to the Marina Beach between 5PM and 7PM on a Sunday.
For we’re sure to find this creature lurking in the area waiting for her beloved, if you go by Thirupaachi.
Mercifully, our bete noire Trisha has a minuscule role, sparing us of further agony.
Guys, Thirupaachi is a horror show like few others.
But telling that to you schmucks is of little account since you are the putzheads that made this garbage a success.
Sura Review – Colossus of Nonsense
Vettaikaran Review – Punnaku Pandi & the Dysentery Before Sura
Madurey Review – Punnaku Pandi and the ‘Negro Problem’
Sivakasi Review – Punnaku Pandi and the art of Nonsense
Kuruvi Review – Nonstop Nonsense
Villu Review – Revoltingly Bad