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Apr 292010
 



If Tamil film star Vijay had any shame at all, he’d lash himself till he bleeds out of every pore of his dark-skinned body and then nail his frame to a wooden metal cross.

That would be a fitting Prayaschit (atonement) for the Judas act of loosening his bowels and raining this dysentery a.k.a. Vettaikaran upon Tamil movie fans.

Depraved Shit Before Sura
Say what you will, we’re convinced Vijay a.k.a. Punnaku Pandi is the worthy inheritor of Marquis de Sade‘s mantle since Vettaikaran is a lengthy piece of sadistic nonsense from the get-go with nary a moment’s pause.

The nonsense in Vettaikaran starts right at the outset when we see our 36-year-old ‘young general’ Vijay playing the part of a 12th standard school student ‘Police Ravi’ and flogging asinine dialogs like:

Nanga aella ninaicha mudipom, mudikaerradhathan naennapom.

Guess, we’ve to be grateful Vijay was not cast in the role of a baby hanging on to mama’s teats!

And such stupid shit is only the beginning of this mind-blowing garbage where ‘Police Ravi’ models himself upon a super-cop and ‘encounter’ specialist Devaraj.

Our hero ‘Police Ravi’ soon graduates to sillier dialogs like anniki sonnadhu innikum, inniki sonnadhuthan yennikum and joins a college in the big city while driving an auto like his idol Devaraj in his younger days.

When his goal of becoming an police officer like Devaraj is thwarted by the villain Vedanayagam (Salim Ghouse) and his cartoon of a son Chellam (Sai Kumar), the insanity on the screen increases manifold till it becomes unbearable.

Sanjay Shinde as the corrupt policeman Kattaboman adds to the misery quotient with his simian antics.

The fight scenes in Vettaikaran are intolerable, even by Vijay’s lowly standards or lack of it.

Not Music, An Affront
Like most films featuring our Punnaku Pandi, Vettaikaran’s music too is a ceaseless affront to viewers.

From the first Naa adicha thangamatae to Puli Urumudhu, Chinna Thamarai and the other numbers, the songs and their boring picturization add to the viewers’ suffering.

Chinna Thamarai is the most irritating with Vijay in a weird ponytail and his hair dyed brown.

Sadly, Vijay’s co-star Anushka does not have much of a role in the movie.

Alas, we’d have liked to ogle more at this well filled out babe. ;)

More Pain Ahead
To think that Vettaikaran is only Vijay’s 49th film and the bozo likely will continue his oppressive antics on fans for another three decades is to say the least extremely dispiriting.

All in all, Vettaikaran is rotten as hell but par for the course from the augean sewers that we commonly refer to as Kollywood.

Related Stories:
Sura Review – Colossus of Nonsense
Thirupaachi Review – Punnaku Pandi and the Capture of Bin Laden
Madurey Review – Punnaku Pandi and the ‘Negro Problem’
Sivakasi Review – Punnaku Pandi and the art of Nonsense
Kuruvi Review – Nonstop Nonsense
Villu Review – Revoltingly Bad

  9 Responses to “Vettaikaran Review – Punnaku Pandi & the Dysentery Before Sura”

  1. Did you notice that his son appears in the song naan adicha thangamaata..? The way he was shown, looks like it won’t be too late before his son will be called Little Super Star and become a successor to punnakku pandi….Death knell to Tamil cinema!

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write above: Did you notice that his son appears in the song naan adicha thangamaata..?

    Yes, we did. We guessed the kid must be Vijay’s brat.

    Just back from Sura – Plain Awful.

    Full review coming soon.

    The Sura audience seemed indifferent with some even walking off, never to return.

  2. Sir! What are you doing nowadays? Trying to commit suicide or something? For the past two days, your blog has been filled with reviews of Punnakku Pandi alias Vijay movies. Is it your death wish to watch all of his ugly movies or did you have a bet with your friend that you will find atleast one GOOD, ORIGINAL, REALISTIC, Film among the 50 that Vijay has done so far ;)

    Guess you’ve had no luck.

    Jokes apart, the only Vijay movies that you can tolerate and see, and enjoy if you skip the logic, are 1) Badhri, 2) Poove Unakkaga 3) Thirumalai and 4) Ghilli (The last blockbuster that Dharani made before Vijay made him create a buffoon of a movie called Villu :( )

    Apart from these, there are no watchable movies of Vijay.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write: Is it your death wish to watch all of his ugly movies

    Yes, we’re trying to enter the Guinness Book in a new way. ;)

    • no dear, Dharani is the director that made Kuruvi, not Villu.
      Prabhu Deva is the one that made that atrocious thing called Villu…

      Badri was tolerable due to Bhumika Chawla’s presence
      Poove Unnakage was okay
      Thirumalai was good, but SI has already seen it
      Ghilli was a very good entertainer (Vijay’s only decent enjoyable masala flick)

      And SI, im sure that the majority (if not all) of us blog readers are getting kinda sick of so many of these punnaku pandi posts, it would be nice if you diverted to something nice.
      You know full well which movies i’ll tell you to watch and review…no point in me repeating myself ;)

      SearchIndia.com Responds:

      You write: And SI, im sure that the majority (if not all) of us blog readers are getting kinda sick of so many of these punnaku pandi posts, it would be nice if you diverted to something nice.

      Vox populi, vox die.

      Punnaku Pandi has been compulsorily retired without any benefits with immediate effect. ;)

      We’ll move on to other things.

    • The last blockbuster that Dharani made before Vijay made him create a buffoon of a movie called Villu

      Isn’t that Kuruvi?

      btw Badhri is another pathetic movie and Thirumalai is torment. Safe to Skip

      Kadhalukku Mariayadai
      Priyamudan
      Poove unakkaga
      Ghilli

      these are the OK kind of movies from that ill-fated Vijay.

      • The climax of Priyamudan made me laugh sooooo much…
        well, if someone like Vikram/Karthi/Pritviraj/Surya did the same climax, it could have been tear-inducing…but when Vijay did that climax, it was hilarious…kinda killed the mood to be honest…

        SearchIndia.com Responds:

        You write: but when Vijay did that climax, it was hilarious…kinda killed the mood to be honest…

        Speaking of moods, Vijay is happy, at peace.

  3. Lol :D Ok, then do me a favor, watch Ghilli too. It is one of his better, if not his best, film.

    If you still feel like puking after seeing Ghilli, feel free to thrash me with your verbal expletives ;)

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write: feel free to thrash me with your verbal expletives

    Sweetie, have we ever treated you with anything but kindness?

    We’ll (re)watch Ghilli.

  4. @SI: We’ll (re)watch Ghilli.

    Really, have you watched Ghilli already??

    @trishna147
    Sorry about that! Vijay makes the same and boring films at frequent intervals that I keep forgetting the names whether they are Ghilli, Balli, Kuruvi, or Oruvi or whatever

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Yes, we’ve seen Ghilli but never got around to reviewing it.

  5. didnt you like “karigalan” song (forget about the shemale vijay, dance or picturization)…its good to listen

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Just back from Akshay Kumar’s Housefull

    Sura seems like it was a million years back.

  6. there are many scenes in the movie which got on my nerves. especially the scene where vijay advices the professor on how to treat girls on first day of college.

    wtf is wrong with the director?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    As we wrote above, we found the Chinna Thamarai song/dance scene and the stunts the most irritating.