Raavan Box Office: Disaster, Act of God, Pathetic, Horrible, Dud, Ha ha ha


Hey, Abhishek, look for a rope and a sturdy rafter, will ya.


Abhishek, you’ve become unendurable.

Folks, we’ve said it a million times.

This Bollywood nincompoop Abhishek Bachchan is not worth the piece of paper on which a movie-ticket is printed.

Hopelessly incompetent as an actor, the Bollywood moron’s only claims to fame are Amitabh Bachchan, Jaya Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai.

Without the three, the jackass is less than a zero.

Less than a cipher.

Seeing him on the screen is worse than passage through the Hades.

Infinitely worse.

Boy, Happy Hours Started Early Here

It’s only around noon here.

But, hell, we’re soaked.

To the brim.

Lots of Gilbey’s Gin, some Seltzer Water and a few spoons of lime juice. And the Flushing Ganesh Temple mixture on the side.

And Ennio Morricone’s For a Few Dollars More is playing on an endless loop on the home theater. Ah, the whistles, the whistles, slowly rising to a crescendo. And then the whistles again. If we die today, we’ll have no complaints.

Shows you how happy we are. 🙂

Thrilled Euphoric that disgraceful little twit Abhishek Bachchan has gotten his comeuppance, the box-office comeuppance that is.

Never has a more worthless star befouled the screen.

Never ever. Sick Shit.

Bollywood Celebration – Choli Ke Peeche, Kya Hai?

Kya Hai? Kya Hai? 😉

It’s Diwali today. Diwali, for sure.

What if our fireworks day July 4 is still two weeks away.

It’s still Diwali today because the Bollywood Raavan is a f*cking disaster at the box office.

Celebrate. Celebrate.

Because that piece of shit Raavan is a f*cking disaster at the box office.

A disaster, did you hear us?

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Raavan, Abhishek’s latest affliction is a frigging disaster.

The skunk’s latest piece of shit, that nightmare which opened on 119 theaters here in the U.S., has been rejected, yes, roundly rejected by desis here.

Raavan has earned a piffling piddling $480,703 at the box office in the opening weekend, according to Boxofficemojo.

And the average gross per theater works out to a shameful (define shame, Abhishek) $4,040.

Lower than Genelia D’Souza’s Jaane Tu Yaa Jaane Na.

Feeling suicidal, are you, Abhishek?

Of course, that overrated South Indian chimp Mani Ratnam bears substantial responsibility for this disaster.

Guys, here are the opening weekend box office numbers for Raavan vis-a-vis some prominent recent Bollywood movies:

Raavan Box Office Report

Ah, the whistles from Ennio Morricone’s For a Few Dollars More again.

Again. Endlessly, playing in our mind.

Peerless. Ennio Morricone, that is.

Here, all ye schmucks, listen to the maestro.

Ah, this Gin will be the death of us. 🙁

Related Stories:
Raavan Review – Beastly Nonsense
Raavanan UK Box Office – Ayyo, Worse than Kuruvi
Raavan UK Box Office – Disaster in UK Too

5 Responses to "Raavan Box Office: Disaster, Act of God, Pathetic, Horrible, Dud, Ha ha ha"

  1. sam   June 20, 2010 at 11:54 pm

    Balram, a former national diving champion, said that while he has the deepest regard for both Abhishek and Mani Ratnam and is proud of his own appearance in Raavan, he wanted to set the record straight. Abhishek’s breathtaking dive off a cliff into a raging river is part of the film’s first few scenes where he is built up as this tough, manic brigand. The scene works wonderfully and which is why Abhishek claiming credit has riled Balram. MS Balram, has claimed it was his work.

    During his media interactions for Raavan’s publicity, Abhishek spoke extensively about this stunt and how he went ahead and performed the 80-foot dive at the Hoggenakkal falls in Karnataka. “Though Mani Ratnam opposed it, I went ahead,” is what he had told a news agency.

    How was this stunt scene?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. The diving scene in the opening moments of the movie was nice.

    No complaints, except from that point the movie also went down.

    2. If M.S.Balram actually performed the dive and if Abhishek Bachchan claimed he did the dive, then Abhishek needs help. Psychiatric help, that is.

    Whatever be the truth of the Raavan dive, there are no doubts that Abhishek is diving well into oblivion. 😉

  2. abhi220   June 21, 2010 at 12:37 am

    Very nice indeed. Never get tired of listening to these.

    (Last of the mohicans. Lovely movie too)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyNV8795X0s&feature=related (Once upon a time in the west)

    (Good bad and the ugly finale).

    (Listen to all the songs in Spirit stallion of the cimarron. A very nice movie too).

    And do I have to mention about Braveheart themes.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    It’s late night here (2:37AM now)…so we’re not playing the music loudly. Will listen to them again later today and if we like it we’ll buy them.

    We already have Harmonica and The Good, Bad…

  3. Twig   June 21, 2010 at 11:12 am

    oh my FSM! was the movie that bad? It’s as if the reviewers all over the world have started suddenly peeing on the movie as if they didn’t get any chance before.

    I knew except for a few, most of the Mani movies have no exciting stories, and the dialogs are one liners, theatrical but nevertheless his movies are definitely watchable. His movies even though might have sucked up stories but definitely will have something new to the viewers, visually at least. He is the ONLY director I guess who haven’t gone to ‘foreign locales’ to picturise songs.

    BTW, which one is watchable? 3 idiots, MNIK or raavan? haven’t seen any of them. Watched a few scenes from MNIK when my friend was watching it over a laptop, it sucked for me.
    There was a joke my friend used to say when somebody asks him what he was doing these days. He used to say that “Main aaj kal My name is Khan dekh raha hoon” . was MNIK so boring?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You Write Above: BTW, which one is watchable? 3 idiots, MNIK or raavan?

    None of the above found favor with us.

    With Raavan, Abhishek’s horrible acting is so stark. This guy is not ready for crowd scenes and to put him up front is an affront to viewers.

    2. You write: He [Mani] is the ONLY director I guess who haven’t gone to ‘foreign locales’ to picturise songs.

    That’s one Plus in his favor.

  4. Twig   June 21, 2010 at 11:30 am

    Also, I say it’s a sin if you haven’t watched Iruvar or Mouna Raagam of Mani’s movies.

    It’s as much a sin, akin to saying “No, I don’t have much time” when a beautiful young woman comes to you and asks “Shall we make love over the full-moon night on the beach?”

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    If Iruvar is as good as you suggest, then it’s a mighty fall indeed for Mani.

    Full-moon night or dark night, any night is fine with a beautiful woman, young or old. 😉

  5. 1012900   June 22, 2010 at 9:43 am

    Yes , even i came across it somewhere that it was MS Balram who did the diving scene. If you look at the trailers for both the movies, it looks as if a single person has dived for both.

    Abhishek “liar” Bachan sucks!!

You must be logged in to post a comment Login