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(For SI Blog readers VJ Cool, Abhi et al)

You know what I’m saying.
Yeah, 5′O clock, Bitch-Raping time
.

Hey, VJ Cool and Abhi we want our money back. :(

All $8 of it.

That’s what happens when we ignore our inner voice and pay heed to our readers. We were keen on seeing The Girl Who Played With Fire, the second installment in the late Swedish writer Stieg Larsson’s fantastic trilogy.

And if we had any brains, we shoulda paid heed to the frenetic whisperings warnings in our head about Predators and gone to The Girl Who Played With Fire.

Schade!

So disappointed with Predators that we hit the bottle early today. Any excuse will do. ;)  

Gin+Seltzer Water (Lime flavor) and Idli+Onion Chutney on the side is a potent combination. Strongly recommended.

Why We are Disappointed
When we go to a movie, we look for stuff like solid drama, engaging story, decent acting, crisp dialogs, eye-catching photography, good action, pleasing music, fine humor, nice graphics, pretty babes et al.

Sure, rare is the movie that delivers on all fronts but even if a film delivers the goods on a few of them we feel we’ve gotten our money’s worth, baby.

Paisa vasool, as the schmucks in India are wont to say.

Except to a limited extent with the action, graphics and photography, Predators does not set the screen on fire.

No sir, it does not.

The Predators story in essence is that of a bunch of really unsavory guys (and one gal) of different nationalities and ethnicities dropped off into a thick jungle on a strange planet and trying their best to escape, first from weird animals with long horns and later from some brilliant, weird monsters. Continue reading »

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(For SI Blog reader Kreacher)

In an era of 140-character Twitters and 10-paragraph Blogs, reading books has turned out to be a major casualty.

Who gives a f*ck for leisure reading, right?

Verily, a dying tradition.

Particularly, among our desi chutiyas who mistake ogling at pictures of Bollywood starlets’ thighs and tits for reading.

Alas, such are the times we live in.

What’s a Kindle?
Kindle is a compact hardware device sold by Amazon that lets you read eBooks.

Amazon is currently peddling Release 2 of the Kindle (the first version debuted in 2007).

For long, we’d mulled the purchase of a Kindle but never got around to it. Partly, because like cheap desis we felt the price was unjustifiably high.

But with its recent price reduction of the 6-inch version to $189, Amazon effectively made price a non-issue. Amazon also offers a 9.7-inch Kindle for $379 but the 6-inch version is the more popular version.

Kindle vs iPad
Even so, we were tempted by Apple’s iPad tablet device. We went to the Apple store in the mall and played with the iPad at length, drove the sales guy nuts and got all our questions answered.

Folks, we’ve got to tell you this – in sheer sex appeal the 9.7-inch iPad with its virtual keyboard beats the 6-inch Kindle with a regular keyboard by a mile by 100 miles.

Kinda like comparing that worthless twit of an actress Priyanka Chopra to say Jodie Foster or our new inamorata Jennifer Lawrence.

The iPad is backlit, which means you can read it in the dark, and scrolling to the next or previous page is so smooth. A small tap on the right or left of the text is all it takes to go to the next or previous page respectively. Just like on the new iPhone 4.

Also buying books on the iPad is a breeze.

The iPad offers full color display while the Kindle is still restricted to black and white.

Although our interest in the iPad was primarily as an eBook reader we knew we could also use it as a digital media entertainment device to play songs and movies or to even blog on it.

Alas, the iPad is not in stock. Not at Apple Store and not even at Worst Buy oops Best Buy (at least, not the 32GB WiFi-only model).

Keeping in mind the iPad’s non-availability, its higher price point and the significantly larger eBook content for the Kindle (672,000 vs 60,000 for iPad), we decided yesterday to go in for the Kindle.

Kindle eBook Reader
(Image: WSJ)

Smooth Ordering
We ordered our Kindle on the Amazon web site around noon Tuesday selecting the free 2-day delivery option.

Surprise, surprise, the UPS guy delivered our Kindle Wednesday, 24 hours earlier than scheduled. We guess it must have come from the Amazon warehouse located not far from our place.

After fumbling a bit, we opened the box and there it was the white-color Kindle along with a short user manual and a cord to charge the reading device and also to connect it to a PC for download/upload.

The device is slim, light (10.2 oz) and supposed to be able to hold up to 1,500 books. More than adequate for the little time left us.

Unless you are Abhishek Bachchan, it’s easy to figure out the Kindle’s menu and functioning in a few minutes. The key control buttons are positioned on the face of the device except for the power button and headphone socket, which are on the top and the volume control on the right.

We also ordered a case for the Kindle ($25) but we’ve yet to receive it.

Disadvantages
* The biggest negative of the Kindle is that it is not backlit, which means you can’t read it in the dark.

While many have pointed that the iPad is hard to read in the sunlight we don’t think it’s an issue because most books are read indoor, not on the beach where you go to ogle at the bikini babes. ;) Continue reading »

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On a planet teeming with 6 billion plus people, the story possibilities can’t but be truly astounding.

Endless permutations of love, crime, betrayal, devotion, redemption, hunger, passion, poverty et al, right?

Yet, our Bollywood mongrels shovel out the most dreary, soporific stories at moviegoers.

Why? Oh, why do these pustulating leproid c*nts do that.

Never ceases to surprise us.

Really.

What do these scatophagous mongrels feed on. Dung, what else!

Or have the Bollywood moguls decreed that the rabble deserve only the crap dished out to them.

Be that as it may, we rented the Spanish language film Talk to Her from Netflix as an escape from the dull tedium of Indian films.

By golly, what a fine selection it turned out to be.

Classy Movie
Folks, tis’ true that Talk to Her is a love story at one level.

But the movie is also so much more than a love story.

Infinitely more.

* It’s a strange, albeit moving tale of passionate devotion.

* It’s ultimately a heart-wrenching tragedy.

* It’s a story with twists enough to keep you engrossed.

Talk to Her is one of those rare movies where you don’t for a moment believe you are watching a movie – although, of course, you are plonked on a sofa in front of the big-screen TV crunching into the South Indian mixture while sipping on a glass of White Russian.

How we heard of Talk to Her is impossible to recollect in our current soused state.

Hell, does it even matter how we heard of this fine movie written and directed by the Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar.

Offbeat Story
The harvest of a fecund imagination, the Talk to Her story here is not one of those irritating, silly love stories chockablock in Indian films.

Au contraire, the setting here is a hospital where a ballet dance student Alicia (Leonor Watling) lies in a coma after a car accident on a rainy day. Continue reading »

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Sick f*cks. :(

Where?

Of course, in Incredible India.

After the end of the Nazi era, where else would all the Sick f*cks of the world congregate, schmuck.

Haven’t we said that ad nauseum, ad infinitum?

We can’t open the Indian newspapers these days without reading of another sick, blood-chilling account of a ‘honor killing.’

Folks, we’ve told you a million times.

Robespierre’s minions and the reign of terror are in perpetual play in the benighted country India.

* In the latest instance of dishonor killing, a 20-year-old girl Megala in Tamil Nadu lost the light of her life Sivakumar for daring to elope with him against her family’s wishes. In retaliation against her elopement, her father and brother among others are alleged to have killed Sivakumar.

* A few weeks earlier (on June 14, 2010), a Delhi girl and her lover met a gruesome end at the alleged hands of her relatives for daring to fall in love. Asha Saini and Yogesh Kumar were allegedly electrocuted to death by family members. Continue reading »

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A Hindoo, and above all, a Brahmin, by his institutions, his usages, his education and customs, must be considered as a kind of moral monster – as an individual placed in a state of continual variance and opposition with the rest of the human race.

- Christian missionary Abbe Dubois, quoted in A Reply to the Letters of the Abbe Dubois, on the State of Christianity in India, P.6

Tis’ true that a follower of any religion is an idiot and oftentimes a monster but Abbe Dubois’ anger toward Hindus and more so against Brahmins rests on the ground that this so called upper caste is the single biggest obstacle to the spread of Christianity in India.

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Surprise, surprise.

Who’d have thought this crappy Bollywood movie would have grossed £202,907 in the opening weekend.

Sure looks like whatever desis drink in the UK it certainly is not H2O. ;)

Here’s how I Hate Luv Storys fared at the UK box office in the opening weekend compared to a few prominent Bollywood movies:

Related Stories:
I Hate Luv Storys Review – You Call this Junk a Movie?
I Hate Luv Storys is Boring Shit, Say Critics

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