One would have to be a million times crueler than Satan to serve such food garbage to paying diners.
Folks, to describe the food at Amma Vegetarian Kitchen on Maple Ave (E) in Vienna (VA) as merely hellishly bad would be an understatement exciting ridicule from connoisseurs of genuine Indian food.
As we walked in around 5:00 p.m. the other day, we found the restaurant near empty with the exception of a bald-headed fella sporting a sullen expression and a couple with a small kid. Since we didn’t find any waitstaff, we headed straight to the cash counter and picked up a menu card.
Self-Serve Disservice
Amma Vegetarian Kitchen is a self-serve restaurant where you place your order at the counter, pay up and wait at a table for your food order number to be yelled out. The food comes in plastic plates and cups.
Famished as were, we ordered a combination of dine-in and take out food. Our order included Amma’s Special Meal ($8.29), Mysore Masala Dosa ($6.59) and good ol’ Thums Up for dine-in and Paruppu Vada and Idli for take-out.
Our Special Meal and Mysore Masala Dosa were ready in about seven minutes. We were pleased as punch until the first bite.
A Special Ordeal
Amma’s Special Meal included a bowl of plain rice, two Chapathis, Channa Masala, Avial, Sambar, Rasam, Semiya Payasam, Raita (most of ‘em in small plastic cups) and Pickle.
Soft in the middle but way too thick at the edges, the Chapathis had a weird taste as if they’d used stale wheat flour.
Channa Masala set in a watery brown sauce was sour and lacked the nice pungent masala taste that should accompany this dish.
Set in a whitish sauce, Amma’s Avial was watery, sour and lacked the fine Coconut flavor that marks this South Indian delicacy. It was so plain awful that for once we were infinitely grateful for the tiny serving size.
While Channa Masala and Avial turned out to be sour beasts, Sambar, the staple of South Indian Cuisine, was low on tamarind, low on toor dal, low on Sambar spices and, above all, low on a competent chef’s hand. The watery sambar with yellow pumpkin, bhindi and squash was so horrible that we could not shove no more than two spoons of this trashy impostor into our mouth.
Of Amma’s Rasam, the less said, the better. For it had no seasoning – no pungent black pepper powder or garlic or dhania flavor. It was like drinking salt-less, tasteless warm water with tomato pieces floating in it.
Raita turned out to be another unendurable, inedible sour disaster. Way too sour and cold with just 10-15 tiny granules of onion.
Horrid Desserts
Semya Payasam was yet another travesty. Set in extremely diluted milk-like fluid, Amma’s wannabe Semiya Payasam had an emaciated, malnourished look. Since we were hungry, we just closed our eyes and gulped a few spoons.
Plain rice was warm. But in the absence of a decent curry or accompaniment we had to trash much of it.
Mysore Masala Dosa – Cold Ordeal
Mysore Masala Dosa came to the table cold.
So cold that we wondered if it was prepared in a different era. Continue reading »
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