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Indians, as we all well know, wash their sorry Hindu ass with water.

Not for our people, the toilet paper, those newfangled bidets or the currently news-making $6,400 Kohler Numi toilet with a built-in MP3 player/Radio/Heater or other fancy ass-cleaning devices.

Since time immemorial, Indians have adopted a fail-safe, simple technique to keep their arses clean:

Water + Left Hand = Clean Bottom.

If you visit a toilet in an Indian home, strategically placed within arm’s reach you’ll see a small mug, vessel or cup that can be filled with H2O for the cleansing exercise.

Saravanaa Bhavan West Windsor
Clean Toilet with Styrofoam Cup (left) at
Saravanaa Bhavan West Windsor, NJ

That’s why when we saw the carefully placed styrofoam cup (see above left in picture) in Saravanaa Bhavan West Windsor’s clean toilet, we felt a wave of nostalgia wash over our all over us. ;)

Man, these Tamil criminals (yes, Saravanaa Bhavan’s founder/owner P.Rajagopal is a real-life ass-wipe murderer and the son is an ass-wipe U.S. immigration law offender) have a big heart that understands Indian asses well, literally speaking that is.

How touching! These ass-wipe criminals care even about our sorry asses. ;)

Unlike the dirty toilets in most Indian restaurants, Saravanaa Bhavana West Windsor’s loo is clean, boasts not one but two trash-cans, multiple rolls of paper-towels, extra toilet-paper rolls, no bad-odor, a nice mirror etc.

All in all, the Saravanaa Bhavan West Windsor restroom was a pleasant revelation unlike the filth you have to put up in loos at most Indian restaurants.

Alas, if only the bozos at Saravanaa Bhavan had paid the same careful attention to the kitchen that they lavished on their toilet,  the food here would taste a lot better and diners wouldn’t leave in a grouchy mood.

Saravanaa Bhavan West WindsorSaravanaa Bhavan, West Windsor, NJ – Disappointing

Mysore Masala Dosa – A Disgrace

In our reckoning, if a Masala Dosa is not crisp it’s not a Masala Dosa.

Call it Uttappam, Jeevajyothi (the married woman Saravanaa Bhavan founder P.Rajagopal lusted after and got her husband murdered), Katrina Kaif or wateva.

But by God don’t call it a Masala Dosa.

Saravanaa Bhavan West Windsor Mysore Masala Dosa
Crappy, Not-Crisp Mysore Masala Dosa

Saravanaa Bhavan West Windsor’s Mysore Masala Dosa ($9.95) was not crisp and no self-respecting kitchen would allow it to be placed before diners.

Alas, Saravanaa Bhavan is not the kind of restaurant that takes pride in its kitchen as we learned by way of our disappointing meal.

We did not find the Dosa’s soft texture palatable in the least although we must acknowledge that the spicy red Masala paste was well spread to the insides of the Dosa.

The bland Coconut Chutney compounded our irritation.

Come on, how can you not add some Green Chillies to the Coconut Chutneys? :(

Either Green Chillies are as expensive as gold or the Mexicans are lording over your kitchen.

Mercifully, the Paruppu Chutney (Dal Chutney) was all right.

Tomato-Onion Pachadi had an un-South Indian garam masala flavor.

Although the medium-thick Sambar was low on Tamarind, mercifully it was still palatable.

All in all, the Mysore Masala Dosa was a disgrace unworthy of Saravanaa Bhavan.

Idli, Vada – Not Fully Cooked

The two South Indian staples of Idli and Medhu Vada were both unsatisfactory.

Vada had a rubbery texture when we bit into it and was not crisp.

That was because it was unevenly cooked inside.

Mon dieu, Idli suffered from the same problem.

It was incompletely cooked inside causing the raw Idli flour inside to stick to our hands.

Saravanaa Bhavan West Windsor Partially Cooked Idli Vada
Partially Cooked Idli-Vada

Will someone please tell the Saravanaa Bhavan West Windsor clowns that Idli should never ever be sticky inside. :(

By now, we were in high dudgeon.

Hell, who can blame us after being dished out such crap.

Crappy Saravanaa Spl Meals

Saravanaa Special Meals ($13.50) included Poori, Plain Rice, Rasam, Sambar, Green Banana Curry, Drumstick Onion Curry, Dal, Cauliflower Kuzhambu, Rice Payasam, Yogurt, Lime Pickle, Raita and Appalam.

Saravanaa Bhavan West Windsor  Thali
Disappointing Thali

There were multiple issues with the Saravanaa Special Meals.

  • Plain rice was not even lukewarm, slightly pasty and made of poor quality rice.
  • Poori was large but very oily with thick hard edges and we did not relish it. In retrospect, we regretted not picking  the Chapati option.
  • Rasam lacked the pungent black pepper powder flavor and was not even lukewarm.
  • Dal with a strong taste of Moong and Green Squash Vegetable (Doodhi) suffered from a surfeit of turmeric powder.
  • With bad quality Okra, the Onion-Okra Sambar was low on Tamarind and Sambar spices.
  • Green Banana curry had an awful food color taste and we did not enjoy it even one bit.
  • Rice Payasam was watery and earned a B- grade.
  • Cauliflower Kuzhambu and Drumstick Onion Curry were the only two items in the Saravanaa Spl Meals with some semblance of flavor and taste. Both would get a B+ or maybe even an A- grade if we’re in a generous mood.
  • Raita, Yogurt and Lime Pickle were alright. So was the Appalam.

But what surprised us most was the small serving size of Saravanaa Spl Meals, especially after charging $13.50.

The serving size of all the curries, side dishes was so small that you end up ordering additional items to silence the bellowing in your stomach.

Takeout – Disappointing Kootu & Rava Kesari

Besides dining in, we also ordered a couple of takeout items – Kootu and Rava Kesari.

The Italian Green Squash Kootu ($5) with Red Chilli seasoning was thick and creamy.

Unfortunately, the Kootu tasted more like Dal.

Saravanaa Bhavan West Windsor  Kootu
Dal like Kootu

What was missing was the rich, flavorful aromatic taste of Kootu. Continue reading »

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Apple today announced record fiscal fourth quarter results, the company’s first earnings announcement after its iconic co-founder Steve Jobs died earlier this month.

For the three months ended September 24, 2011, Apple reported a profit of $6.62 billion (7.05 cents per share) on revenues of $28.27 billion.

During the same period last year, Apple’s net profit was $4.31 billion ($4.64 per share) on revenues of $20.34 billion.

Bloomberg reports that Apple has exceeded analysts’ profit expectation for 32 straight quarters.

Such results as Apple declared today are the dream and envy of every business in the world.

Apple Juggernaut

Apple is on a roll, and like a juggernaut crushing its digital media rivals, particularly on the tablets front.

Here are highlights on the performance of some of Apple’s key product lines during the fourth quarter:

* The Company sold 17.07 million iPhones, a 21% unit growth over the year-ago quarter.

* Apple sold 11.12 million iPads tablets , a 166% unit increase over the year-ago quarter.

* The Company sold 4.89 million Macs, a 26% unit increase over the year-ago quarter.

* Apple sold 6.62 million iPods, a 27% unit decline from the year-ago quarter.

iPhone Sales Lower than Expected

Sales of iPhones were lower than analyst expectations.

That was likely because prospective customers were sitting on the sidelines waiting for the release of the new iPhone (4S).

The iPhone 4S became available on August 14 and in just three days Apple sold four million units.

For the full fiscal 2011, Apple reported a profit of $25.92 billion on revenues of $108.25 billion. This compares with a profit of $14.01 billion on revenues of $65.23 billion in fiscal 2010.

For the first fiscal quarter of 2012, Apple expects revenue of about $37 billion and diluted earnings per share of about $9.30.

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By Naveen

Besides cultural inclinations what else can lure a non-religious person to Hindu temples in the U.S.?

What else but the thought of gorging on an array of fine food at the temple cafeterias! ;)

The Chicago land offers some fine temples for devout Hindus to congregate, places like the Aurora Balaji Temple, Lemont Rama Temple, Swaminarayan Mandir etc.

For me, a visit to Aurora Balaji temple or in this instance the Lemont Rama Temple a.k.a. Hindu Temple of Greater Chicago is a good excuse to feast on the fine “Prasadhams”.

For a long time I was unaware the Lemont Rama Temple had a cafeteria and only recently did I discover the existence of this hidden gem.

Ram Temple Ambiance

A drive to the Lemont Rama Temple is a relaxing experience in itself.

The temple is built on a small landscaped hill (or a large mound depending on how one looks at it).

Plenty of parking, soothing greenery and quiet surroundings bring instant peace as you enter the Temple campus.

Lemont Rama TempleRama Temple Lemont

Lemont Rama Temple has multiple entrances including a Gopuram visible from a distance.

The temple has multiple blocks linked via a hallway.

I entered through the Siva temple where the Hindu gods Siva, Parvathi, Ganesh, Murugan, Durga, Aiyappa Swamy and Navagraham are worshiped. This is a spacious hall.

Sometimes you may find yourself getting free Prasadham as you move from this block to the other side of the Temple. Alas, I wasn’t lucky during my latest visit.

On the way from here to the main Rama temple, there is a fine auditorium used for cultural events and fund raisers, a Gift shop, Library, couple of footwear removal area, restrooms, the Cafeteria and finally the Rama Temple.

Radha – Krishna, Balaji, Mahalakshmi, Hanuman, Satyanarayana Swamy and, of course, Sita – Rama – Lakshmana are worshiped in this block. If the Siva temple was spacious then the Rama temple is big enough to host an event.

Lemont Rama Temple campus is very clean unlike the ever-present filth one encounters in temples back home in India.

You can see an interesting mix of North and South Indian styles in the Rama Temple’s architecture.

While the interior of the temple shows a North Indian influence, it has an impressive traditional South Indian Gopuram outside.

While a lot of visitors are North Indians, the Priests hail from the South and so is the food in the Cafeteria.

Ah… I finally come to the purpose of my visit… the Cafeteria.

The Cafeteria sports a modest appearance. It just has the basic essentials and a small kitchen.

Thankfully for the diners, although the kitchen is small the food is made with a large heart and a fine taste.

Cafeteria Service

Like most Hindu temple cafeterias in the U.S., the Lemont Rama Temple cafeteria too is self service.

During our visit, the line was short, ordering and billing were quick and the items were served quickly.

There were sufficient tables available during our two visits, on Saturday afternoon and Sunday evening, which are the peak periods.

Lemont Rama Temple CanteenLemont Rama Temple Canteen

There were enough water jars, cups and spoons.

However, sugar was kept in an open bowl instead of a sugar dispenser. This is a hygiene issue.

Lemont Rama Temple SugarSugar in an Open Bowl – Unhygienic

The full menu is available only on weekends.

Ram Temple Canteen Menu

The menu is basic but adequate for a temple cafeteria.

Here’s the stuff that made me forget the world and had me in an ecstasy.

The first item my starving stomach and hungry eyes targeted was Idly-Sambar, a South Indian favorite.

Lemont Rama Temple IdlyLukewarm Idly, Delicious Chutney

Idly was not as warm as I would have desired but the delicious fresh Coconut Chutney and the lip-smacking Sambar more than  compensated for the lukewarm Idlys.

Now, the Sambar deserves a special mention.

Although at first glance it looked watery and unimpressive, a few gulps later I could not get enough of that addictive little bitch! ;)

With a fine flavor and right temperature it was as good if not better than any Sambar I’ve ever tasted! And hailing from South India, if I know anything in life it’s my Sambar.

Lemont Rama Temple SambarSuperb Sambar

What’s next?

Of course it’s the ever reliable Medu Vadai, a spongy delight that after soaking in the warm Sambar had my taste buds in sheer rhapsody.

Lemont Rama Temple VadaiMedu Vadai – Spongy Delight

The caterers at Lemont should be proud of the fantastic Pongal they serve.

To say that the Pongal was yummy would be an understatement but I was not pleased when the “Hot Pongal” was served at lukewarm temperature.

Nevertheless, one spoon of this enchanting stuff sent me into waves of euphoria.

Lemont Rama Temple PongalFantastic Pongal

Lemon Rice was a perfect preparation with a fine tangy flavor, light yellow color and chunky rice.

This naughty medley was so palatable that I wanted to skip a few other menu items and do an encore. ;)

Lemont Rama Temple Lemon RiceFine Lemon Rice

Very rarely does Mango Lassi find its way into my list of must have items but the Rama Temple cafeteria’s Mango Lassi was truly exceptional.

Creamy in color, whipped frothy and light, sweet but not cloyingly sweet, this Lassi was so good that I greedily slurped three cups and still yearned for more.

Lemont Rama Temple Mango LassiExcellent Mango Lassi

Here is stuff at the Rama Temple that was good and tasty but not exceptional…

Masala Dosai was as expected very appetizing although I personally prefer a slightly thicker crust and a hotter version (temperature-wise)!

Lemont Rama Temple Masala DosaiMasala Dosai – Good but not Great

Curd Rice was ok.

Although it was quite palatable, for me the benchmark for temple curd rice is the exceptional offering at Aurora Balaji temple Cafeteria which ranks several notches above any other curd rice that I have tasted.

Lemont Rama Temple Curd RiceCurd Rice – OK

This curd rice had excess of Jeera and Ginger that interrupted the flavor of the curd.

After going through the assortment of sweets, I picked Badusha as it is one item I rarely eat.

Man, that was one good decision.

The Badusha wasn’t too sugary but packed enough sweetness in it to qualify as a fine dessert.

Lemont Rama Temple BadushaBadusha – Sweet Temptation

Now for the Ugly

Here is stuff for which the caterers need a tight slap.

Surprisingly, the Tamarind Rice turned out to be huge disappointment.

It lacked the enticing smell, savory taste and nice feel of fresh Puliohare and coming from a temple cafeteria it deserves to be frowned upon.

Lemont Rama Temple BadushaDissappointing Tamarind Rice

The lousy Pickle that they provided for 50 cents was extremely unpleasant.

Who would want to taste an utterly bitter thing in the middle of a fine lunch!

Hell, the pickle wasn’t even pickled enough.

Lemont Rama Temple PicklesBitter Pickles

Masala Tea was too thin and had absolutely no Tea Masala flavor.

After a few sips I abandoned it.

Lemont Rama Temple Masala ChaiFlavorless Masala Tea

By the way, which moron decided that Indians visiting temple cafeteria would have black Coffee?

This was the one item that truly annoyed me among all the items in the cafeteria.

Lemont Rama Temple CoffeeBlack Coffee

Low Price, High Quality

A key attraction of eating at a Hindu Temple cafeteria in the U.S. is the low price for most items.

For the high quality you generally get at Hindu temples here, the prices are a steal.

Here’s a look at the Lemont Rama Temple menu:

Lemont Rama Temple Canteen MenuRama Temple Menu

If Hindu Temples can sell their fine fare at such modest prices, why is it that Indian restaurants here try to palm off crappy food at exorbitant prices. The only explanation we can think of is rapacious greed of the restaurant owners and rank incompetence of the chefs.

Rama Temple Cafeteria – Overall Verdict

Despite a few stumbles the Lemont Rama temple cafeteria is a fine place to visit for good South Indian Lunch or Dinner.

Their fantastic Pongal, swoon-worthy Sambar and frothy Mango Lassi amply make up for the few deficiencies I found in some of the other items.

Just in case you’re wondering, you don’t have to be a Hindu to partake of the cafeteria’s many pleasures.

Your favorite blog SearchIndia.com strongly recommends the Lemont Rama Temple Cafeteria.

And during your visit if you happen to see an Indian-looking character with a laser-like focus on the third plate of Idly-Medhu Vadai or slurping the fourth glass of Mango Lassi you can be sure that person is yours truly. ;)

Go for it, folks!

Related Stories:
SVS Temple Aurora Canteen – Count Your Blessings
Chicago Hindu Temples – A Photo Tour

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We rented the 2010 Canadian movie Good Neighbors after reading the blurb about a serial killer on the loose and three nervous young people in an apartment.

Well, our fertile, febrile imagination conjured up scary visions of a thriller, a whodunit and a fierce-looking serial killer scaring the bejesus out of the gals he’s raping and killing.

Alas, we were rather disappointed with the movie as it turned out.

While it was not an unwatchable horror-show (that odious distinction belongs to Indian films), Good Neighbors can at best be placed in the OK category.

Written and directed by Jacob Tierney based on Chrystine Brouillet’s 1982 debut novel Chère Voisine, Good Neighbors’ principal problem is in the plodding script.

One would expect a movie about a serial killer and three nervous people to give us and other viewers some heebie-jeebies and uncertainty as to the identity of the killer.

Alas, not too long into the movie we could not only guess the identity of the killer but also that …. Oh well, let’s not spoil it for you just in case you feel like watching this film.

As for the serial killer, we almost never see him at work.

Worse, he never sent a chill up our spine. :(

Only through occasional newspaper accounts and conversation between the three people do we learn of his murderous activities.

The three main actors Jay Baruchel, Scott Speedman and Emily Hampshire do a fine job.

Alas, in vain for that can’t lift the movie from the sinkhole it falls into very early.

Also irritating and never clearly explained is Louise’s inordinate fondness for cats.

And what’s with these Montreal gals.

Do they always go around with a grim visage, never smiling!

If you have nothing else to do and if your only alternative is an Indian movie, then by all means watch Good Neighbors.

Otherwise, give it a pass.

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