If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it a million times.
When it comes to smartphones, Apple’s iPhone is King of the Heap.
All the other vendors (HTC, Samsung, Blackberry/RIM etc) are merely playing catch up.
Market researcher Nielsen put out a report today and the numbers show Apple iOS ahead of its nearest platform competitor (RIM/Blackberry) by a wide margin.
Only when all Android smartphone vendors are combined does the Android platform manage to push the Apple iOS platform to second place.
Here’s the Nielsen survey graphic on smartphone marketshare:
The number crunchers at Nielsen found that 44% of all U.S. mobile subscribers now have smartphones.
It seems 56% of mobile phone purchases in the last three month were of smartphones.
We just subscribed to the iPad version of Encyclopaedia Britannica for a princely sum of $1.99 a month.
Well, what do we think we did first.
Yes, schmucks, yes.
We searched for our Bollywood stars on the Encyclopaedia Britannica.
Guess what?
There are some surprises here.
Real big surprises!
We found separate profiles for trash king Akshay Kumar, that preening budda Amitabh Bachchan, Raj Kapoor and Ashok Kumar.
But not Shahrukh Khan, the King of Bollywood.
Isn’t it strange that the Akshay ‘Chutiya’ Kumar (who makes money off stolen Hollywood shit) should find a place but not the Pak-loving Chutiya Shahrukh Khan.
As even the dimmest of Indian dimwits knows, compared to the fame and name of Shahrukh Khan, both in India and with the diaspora, Akshay Kumar is a jeero (as the Indians pronounce zero) in Bollywood.
Another notable personality missing in the Encyclopaedia Britannica is Lata Mangeshkar, who’s sung countless melodic songs in countless Bollywood films.
It’s a mighty shame that both Shahrukh Khan and Lata Mangeshkar find only a passing mention in other articles.
If you’re curious, other notable Bollywood personalities that find a place in the Encyclopaedia Britannica include Padmini, B.R.Chopra, Johnny Walker, Nasir Hussain, Hrishikesh Mukherjee, Satyajit Ray, Feroze Khan, Aishwarya Rai, A.R.Rahman, Raj Kumar and Vijay Tendulkar.
In the free Wikipedia age, are there people who’d care to pay for the Encyclopedia Britannica?
Although the jury is still out on that question, we’re inclined to believe that the answer is No given the masses’ disinclination to pay for online content.
But that doesn’t mean the folks at Encyclopaedia Britannica are easily conceding the battle.
They’ve just put an iPhone app that’ll provide users access to all 80,000 articles in the Encyclopedia, the ability to download information to read offline, save and send articles, store favorites and search history.
For those who are not interested in forking out $1.99 a month, the app provides free high-resolution images, maps, access to 100 free articles plus the first 100 words of every article, and a “link map.”
Android and Microsoft versions of the app are expected to come out early next year.
Test Drive
We downloaded the iPhone app and tested it out.
A search for Rahul Gandhi pulled up his mother Sonia Gandhi.
The listing on India (part of the 100 free articles) is 1,568-pages long on the iPhone.
By the way, Encyclopedia Britannica has an iPad app too.
In a long life, we’ve watched many kinds of rape scenes in movies.
In Hindi films from the 1970s, we watched Prem Chopra and Ranjeet smacking their lips as they fall upon the helpless girls, and then in the 80s we witnessed the suave cold-blooded Raj Babbar rape the two sisters in Insaaf Ki Tarazoo. We’ve also seen the crude, garish rapes in Tamil movies featuring Satyaraj et al.
But never have these old eyes fallen on a rape like the one in the Korean film Going By the Book.
The short-rape scene in the Korean film is what we’d call nonpareil.
If pressed, we’d say it belongs to the push-up genre of rapes and makes for one of the hilarious moments in the 100-minute movie.
More than Gore
Their fame in the violence genre notwithstanding, Korean films are not all about blood, decapitations, gore and revenge.
Nice as bloody films like I Saw the Devil, The Chaser and The Man from Nowhere are, Korean filmmakers also put out other movies.
Movies like Going By the Book, for instance.
We watched Going By the Book (2007) on Netflix Instant Play the other day and considered it a decent film.
Directed by Ra Hee-chan, Going By the Book is a crime film, albeit an unconventional one.
Since Sampo town is hit with a wave of bank robberies the new police chief Lee Seung-man decides on a novel drill to restore public confidence in the police department.
When the chief picks a traffic cop Lee Seung-man to play the robber, it’s clear this drill is going to be like no other.
You see, Jeong Do-man is a serious, dedicated cop who goes so much by the book that he doesn’t hesitate to issue a ticket even to the new police chief on his first day in town!
Previously on the crimes investigations department, Jeong Do-man has been demoted for investigating corruption allegations centering around the Governor.
Jeong Do-man prepares and goes about his new assignment with the same fastidiousness that is his hallmark, much to the irritation of his senior colleagues.
As the drill continues, the ‘robber’ makes the police force and the SWAT team look grossly inept and provide for some interesting comic moments.
Much of Going by the Book is filmed inside the bank or just outside its doors where the police and the SWAT team have gathered.
Jeong Jae-yeong who plays the robber, Son Byeong-ho as the police chief and the rest of the cast do a good job.
But the script by Jang Jin and Lee Gyu-bok could have been a lot better. It tends to drag on occasion and the last 20-minutes or so was a bit of a letdown with ‘dead’ cops driving the getaway bus.
Also, it seemed odd that given the initial focus on the spate of bank robberies so little attention should be focused in that direction, except in a clumsy way toward the end.
Despite these inadequacies, SearchIndia.com still recommends Going By the Book for its offbeat crime story, the comic touches and the decent acting.
As a young 64-year-old poor nation with 500-million half-starving souls, India has many concerns, diverse constituencies to address.
But none more pressing or of more importance than the following:
10. Long wait for some cars.
Diesel versions of the Swift hatchback and Dzire sedan from Maruti, Fortuner and Innova from Toyota, XUV500 from Mahindra, Jazz and the Brio hatchbacks from Honda and Hyundai’s Verna sedan are said to be seeing strong demand even in a slowing economy. (Source: Times of India)
9. What, has the crazy Delhi Sardarji Harvinder Singh not slapped anyone today?
Man, life sucks. Totally! Someone, get that turbaned fella moving.
8. Indian batsman Yuvraj Singh’s health is a national concern (Source: Hindustan Times).
Thank God, Yuvraj has a wonderful Guruji protecting him (really, watch/listen to Yuvraj’s sexy mom).
7. Did Akshay Kumar’s Desi Boyz get a good opening?
6. What a shame we know only one side of tennis flop Sania Mirza. Now, don’t ask which side.
Not to worry, the 25-year-old babe has penned an autobiography – The book is about a side of me that very few people know.
5. Why is iPhone 4S more expensive in India?
Oh well, it starts at just Rs 44,500.
4. Has Ileana D’Cruz replaced Shruti Hassan in Gabbar Singh, the Telugu remake of Dabanng? (Source: Deccan Chronicle)
The nation waits with bated breath for a decisive answer.
3. Tamil Nadu bans Dam 999 film.
Why, oh, why?
2. Kolaveri Views on YouTube just 8 million.
God, when will it reach 10-million?
Folks, now for a very pressing concern:
1. Bollywood (non)actress Anushka Sharma: I have no love life at the moment. In fact, I am completely single and lonely.
Geez, where have all the Indian men gone?
And now for India’s most urgent, vexing, ultimate, life-and-death concern.
Finding a name for Beti B.
Not to worry. The Twit is going through the suggestions of all his Twitterers.
“The suggestions still pour in and still we haven’t managed to finalize a name. Evenings are spent reading out all your suggestions in front.” – Abhishek Bachchan on Twitter. Ha ha ha.
The ever merciful Allah smiled upon us today with some good news.
We just returned from a trip to NYC and turned on our PC.
Boy, what should we see?
Yippee, 26 Paki soldiers killed!
Apparently, a NATO air-strike deep into Pakistan territory killed 26 Pakistani soldiers oops Paki pigs at a couple of military posts.
American and Paki newspaper say the attacks happened at two military posts in Salala, a village in Pakistan’s Mohmand tribal district. The area is close to the border with Kunar Province in Afghanistan.
Time to Rejoice
Every Paki soldier dead is one terrorist less for our two countries U.S. and India to handle.
A lot of Pakistani soldiers are in reality terrorists wearing military fatigues.
Pakistani soldiers have been involved in attacks on U.S. and NATO bases in Afghanistan and routinely sponsor large-scale violence in different parts of India.
A death of any Pakistani soldier is a time to celebrate for it’s one less terrorist for the world to deal with. And we’re doing just that with a bottle of Guinness Extra Stout beer.
Pak Retaliation
Pakistan has retaliated by closing two supply routes to NATO bases in Afghanistan and ordering the closing of a drones air-base at Shamsi in Pakistan.
Folks, we should not be too worried about the Paki action.
After all, the Paki leadership has to stage a tamasha (drama) to its people that they won’t stand this attack blah blah blah.
Ever since the U.S. attack in May on Paki soil killed the 9/11 terrorist Osama bin Laden, the Pakis have been extremely upset with the U.S. The drones attack on terrorists has made the mongrels angrier.
But let’s not forget that Pakistan aka Terroristan is a beggar nation surviving on the alms and crumbs thrown by our country, the U.S.
We suggest, and surely this will be done, throw these Paki mongrels some bones and soon the curs will be licking the bottom of your boots and thanking you for the privilege.
Inshallah, this will be the first of many more bombings by U.S./NATO on Pakistani military posts and the killing of more Paki Soldiers.
- Uday Hussain after kidnapping a school girl in The Devil’s Double
George W.Bush was a warmonger who wrought great misery on America and other parts of the world as well.
But we all must be enormously thankful to Bush for one reason.
And for one reason only – The Killing of Uday Hussain by U.S. soldiers during the illegal Iraqi invasion over non-existent weapons of mass destruction.
While it is true that history is written by the victors, several accounts (besides the U.S.) put Uday Hussain, son of Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, as a monster.
Even by the standards of fiends, Uday was a sick monster given to debauchery, plunder, rape and murder.
Uday’s Body Double
Directed by drag queen Lee Tamahori, The Devil’s Double presents the gripping account of Latif Yahia, who’s said to have served as Uday Hussain’s Fedai or body double.
If I am allowed to say one thing and one thing only about Hugo then it would be that the father of movie special effects was decorated and celebrated fittingly in 3D visual extravaganza.
Hugo is the movie adaptation of the novel “The Invention of Hugo Cabret” by Brian Selznick.
It is a Fantasy – Mystery – Drama directed by the Academy Award winning Martin Scorsese, who has given several riveting dramas such as “Taxi Driver”, “The Gangs of New York” and “The Departed” to name a few.
Hugo is co-produced by GK Films, Martin Scorsese and Johnny Depp.
Story
Hugo is the story of a young orphan Hugo Cabret who hides and lives within the walls of the main Train Station in Paris.
Hugo is also the story of Georges Méliès, an illusionist who went on to become a film maker known for his path breaking work on special effects during the infancy of Cinema.
Hugo is also a narrative about the origins of Cinema Special Effects, which is now taken for granted.
The story is set after of World War I, probably in the late 1920’s.
Hugo’s father makes and fixes clocks. He comes across an automaton (Robot) in a broken condition begins to fix it for Hugo.
Soon he dies in a freak fire accident leaving behind Hugo as an orphan with Uncle Claude, who is a drunkard.
Uncle Claude takes Hugo to the Paris Train Station where he lives and enslaves him to maintain all the clocks in the station. Uncle Claude goes away leaving Hugo alone.
Hugo’s only purpose from that point is to use his dad’s notebook to fix the Robot while living a secluded and secret life within the dark dungeons and walls of the station.
Hugo steals mechanical toys (for its parts) from a Toy Shop run by George in the station and hides from the Station Master/Inspector, a cynical rude man who has lost a leg in the War.
One day George catches Hugo in the act and takes Hugo’s notebook. George and his wife Jeanne are “Godparents” of the adventure crazy Isabelle who Hugo befriends in his pursuit of the notebook.
Mysteriously Isabelle has the missing Key needed to make Hugo’s Robot work and gradually they discover together that the cantankerous Toy Shop owner “Papa” George is actually the visionary film maker Georges Méliès.Continue reading »
By God, it’s high time we had a law prohibiting Indians from making movies.
We just returned from the opening show of Desi Boyz at a theater on the East Coast and, ah, ah, ah, we’re still reeling in painful shock.
Folks, Desi Boyz (Akshay Kumar, John Abraham, Deepika Padukone, Chitrangda Singh) is nothing short of a horror show.
Even after filching the basic plot-line from the Hollywood hit The Full Monty, debutant film-maker Rohit Dhawan, the uncreative force behind Desi Boyz, has shown himself utterly incapable of churning out a watchable movie.
Au contraire, The Full Monty is a charming comedy with an amusing story, fine performances by the cast and four Oscar nominations (one win) to its credit.
Horrid Screenplay
Swathed in a horrible screenplay, swaddled in mediocre music and swabbed of all finesse, Desi Boyz is a very unfunny movie that left us in a vortex of misery with no exit.
In a reckless act of high chutzpah, Rohit Dhawan (son of David Dhawan, the Joseph Mengele of Bollywood) takes (dis)credit for the story, screenplay and direction.
Like The Full Monty, the underlying story of Desi Boyz too is of unemployed desperate young men in hard economic times taking to stripping for women to make money and to help one of the guys retain visitation rights to a young boy (son in Full Monty and nephew in Desi Boyz).
The similarities stop there because the inept director and clueless writer Rohit Dhawan mangles the Full Monty story into a disgusting, crude, unfunny abomination that had us gasping frequently for air.
The six guys from Sheffield in The Full Monty become two young friends Jerry Patel (Akshay Kumar) and Nick Mathur (John Abraham) in recession-hit circa 2009 London in Desi Boyz.
Deepika Padukone plays the main female lead, in an extension of the role essayed by the wife of Tom Wilkinson’s character Gerald in Full Monty.Continue reading »
Baby take off your coat
Real slow
Take off your shoes
I’ll help you take off your shoes
Baby take off your dress
Yes, yes, yes
You can leave your hat on
Deeelicious stuff, sweetie.
Drat, how in the hell did we miss such a kickass comedy all these years.
Must stop associating with low-life ignoramasses (take that neologism, punks) like our readers.
Even if we had to turn on the subtitles to catch the hard-to-follow Yorkshire accent, The Full Monty (1997) is a riveting entertainer that, alas, the Bollywood bozos are now regurgitating as Desi Boyz, 14 years after the original version debuted to much acclaim.
Fun Movie
Directed by Peter Cattaneo and featuring a cast unknown to most Indians, The Full Monty, made on a modest budget of $3.5 million, was a big hit, both in the UK and internationally.
If you schmucks insist on knowing, the movie stars Robert Carlyle, Mark Addy, William Snape, Steve Huison, Tom Wilkinson, Paul Barber and Hugo Speer. Recognize any of them, eh?
The movie is set in the Yorkshire town of Sheffield aka Steel City for its steel mills that ushered in prosperity to a lot of people in the area.
Well, all good things of life must come to an end sooner or later.
Bad times fall upon many of the locals when the steel mills shutter leaving behind the empty factories or, as Gaz, one of the principal characters puts it, ‘scrap’ in the form of the laid off employees.
Unwilling to accept low-paying jobs and with nothing much to do except idling away at the local unemployment office playing cards and smoking, Gaz (Robert Carlyle) decides to form a Male strippers group.
Yes, a Male strippers group for a only-gals audience.
And Gaz ropes in his reluctant pal Dave (Mark Addy) and former buddies from the steel mill including the foreman Gerald (Tom Wilkinson).
For Gaz, it’s do or diestrip or die. The stripper group is his last shot at making good money.
You see, his financial situation has turned perilous – he’s separated from his wife and unless he can come up with 700-quid he’ll lose joint custody of his young son Nate, played with infinite charm by William Snape.
The kid is adorable and while he doesn’t speak much in the film his expressions and fondness for his rather weird dad is discernible.
The situation is pretty grim for the others as well including Gerald, who’s been ‘going to work’ even after being laid off.
Like so many fine comedies, The Full Monty has a strong touch of pathos at its core.
In the love of Gaz for his son Nathan.
And for a group of grownup men to consider and ultimately take up stripping, amidst jeers from the town-folk, to improve their financial prospects is a hard road to traverse.
But for the audience it makes for a fun watch.
Paul Barber auditioning as ‘Horse” was terrific, as he does a superb dance to Wilson Pickett’s Land of a Thousand Dances song in a brief one-minute scene.
The acting is first class overall but Robert Carlyle outshines everyone.
Lovely Soundtrack
Man, this is one soundtrack the likes of which all ye putzheads ain’t never seen.
Nor heard.
Contains some of the top chart-busting numbers like Donna Summers Hot Stuff, Wilson Pickett’s Land of a 1000 Dances, Tom Jones You Can Leave your Hat On and more.
Any surprise then that the only Oscar (after receiving a total of four nominations) The Full Monty bagged was for the music. But keep in mind that its Oscar rival that year was the Titanic!
The Full Monty is available at most county libraries in the U.S. and at Netflix.
Now, don’t you feel embarrassed about turning on the subtitles. It ain’t regular English here folks.
Your favorite blog SearchIndia.com strongly recommends The Full Monty.
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