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Nov 232011
 




By God, it’s high time we had a law prohibiting Indians from making movies.

We just returned from the opening show of Desi Boyz at a theater on the East Coast and, ah, ah, ah, we’re still reeling in painful shock.

Folks, Desi Boyz (Akshay Kumar, John Abraham, Deepika Padukone, Chitrangda Singh) is nothing short of a horror show.

Even after filching the basic plot-line from the Hollywood hit The Full Monty, debutant film-maker Rohit Dhawan, the uncreative force behind Desi Boyz, has shown himself utterly incapable of churning out a watchable movie.

Au contraire, The Full Monty is a charming comedy with an amusing story, fine performances by the cast and four Oscar nominations (one win) to its credit.

Horrid Screenplay

Swathed in a horrible screenplay, swaddled in mediocre music and swabbed of all finesse, Desi Boyz is a very unfunny movie that left us in a vortex of misery with no exit.

In a reckless act of high chutzpah, Rohit Dhawan (son of David Dhawan, the Joseph Mengele of Bollywood) takes (dis)credit for the story, screenplay and direction.

Like The Full Monty, the underlying story of Desi Boyz too is of unemployed desperate young men in hard economic times taking to stripping for women to make money and to help one of the guys retain visitation rights to a young boy (son in Full Monty and nephew in Desi Boyz).

The similarities stop there because the inept director and clueless writer Rohit Dhawan mangles the Full Monty story into a disgusting, crude, unfunny abomination that had us gasping frequently for air.

The six guys from Sheffield in The Full Monty become two young friends Jerry Patel (Akshay Kumar) and Nick Mathur (John Abraham) in recession-hit circa 2009 London in Desi Boyz.

Deepika Padukone plays the main female lead, in an extension of the role essayed by the wife of Tom Wilkinson’s character Gerald in Full Monty. Jerry is a college dropout sponging off his friend Nick in a swanky London apartment much to the annoyance of Nick’s girlfriend Radhika (Deepika Padukone).

But the shit hits the fan when Nick loses his job and Jerry is unable to provide for his orphaned nephew Veer (Virej Dasani).

The story goes completely downhill from then with frequent lapses into horrid songs, ludicrous turns, incomprehensible clashes and utter nonsense.

In a movie tottering from one trashy incoherent scene to another, Jerry’s analyst interview (after his belated graduation) with Mr.Dillon and the final courtroom scene were the nadir, an orgy of repulsive nonsense.

Virej Dasani, who plays the young boy Veer, throws in an utterly hopeless performance.

In Full Monty, William Snape as the young lad Nates/Nathan was a delight.

Well, the performances by the adults Akshay, John, Deepika or Chitrangda didn’t charm us either in Desi Boyz.

For a comedy, the dialogs in Desi Boyz was utterly lacking in sizzle.

Some of the key scenes in Desi Boyz like the confrontation between Jerry and Nick, Nick and Rads i.e. Radhika and the Jerry-Veer parting at the Social Services office turned out to be total duds.

Anupam Kher is wasted in a role that makes no sense.

Sanjay Dutt, tattoos, big biceps and all, struts around like he’s still a druggie.

If Desi Boyz proves anything, it’s that incompetence and sadistic grotesquerie can be inherited.

Bollywood fans did not deserve a monster like David Dhawan nor do they now need his sadistic brat Rohit Dhawan to torment them with his perverse version of cinema.

Music, What Music?

Fuhgeddaboudit!

It’s all loud noise with thumping beats that drove us mad.

The picturization of all the songs was crude, awful and nauseating.

By the way, music was a key highlight of The Full Monty, ultimately winning the movie its single Oscar (in a year that saw Titanic sweeping the awards).

Desi Boyz – Absolute Trash

Guys, Desi Boyz is the acme of grotesque buffoonery that begs you to show it the middle finger.

Your favorite blog SearchIndia.com strongly recommends that you stay away from this hideous nightmare aka Desi Boyz if you value your sanity.

Related Posts:

The Full Monty Review – Hot Stuff, Baby; Can the Bollywood Bozos Match this Charmer?

  13 Responses to “Desi Boyz Review – Monstrous Mutation of Full Monty”

  1. Your question,”Can bollywood bozos match this charmer?” was like asking “Can I shoot an arrow toward the sun and manage to hit it?”.

    A few of my relatives have seen Full Monty and their reviews were similar to yours…For all you know, Rohit Dhawan was probably exciting his ass with a sex toy while directing the movie and therefore put little or no thought in the direction.

    If this is his directoral debut, one can only shudder to think about the amount of torture he has yet to unleash on Bollywood fans (or at least, the Bollywood fans with some vestige of sanity)

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Given what we know of our Indian people, it’s safe to predict Rohit Dhawan has a luminous future in Bollywood. :(

  2. Off-topic:

    Check this out sir;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&hl=en-GB&client=mv-google&v=YR12Z8f1Dh8

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Song-u Headache-u, sir!

  3. SI: Off Topic:

    Did you see this??

    http://www.rediff.com/news/report/video-youth-slaps-sharad-pawar-in-delhi/20111124.htm

    What is your opinion on this?? ;-)

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    “Prime Minister Manmohan Singh spoke to Pawar after the incident and condemned the attack.

    Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee also said that the attack on Pawar was “totally condemnable”.

    Political parties condemned the attack on Pawar saying it was not acceptable in a democracy.”

    SI too strongly condemns the attack for not kicking Pawar, ahem, out of power. ;)

    It seems like the Sardarji who slapped Pawar also slapped Sukh Ram the other day.

    BTW, is slapping politicians a new career option for Desi Boyz in India?

  4. Dude read the shit the wikipedia article says for the critical reception of the music-
    “Joginder Tuteja of Bollywood Hungama gave the album 4 stars, saying “Music of Desi Boyz exceeds expectations” and described the album as “one of the better ‘masala’ albums of the year.” Furthermore, he chose Subha Hone Na De, Allah Maaf Kare, Make Some Noise For The Desi Boyz and Jhak Maar Ke as favorite picks. ‘Subah Hone na de’ is heavily inspired from Pitbull’s song Give Me everything featuring Ne-Yo, Afrojack and Nayer.[20]

    Glamsham gave the music a rating of 4 out of 5 saying, “Pritam builds up a good tempo in ‘Make some noise for Desi Boyz’ and carries the fun promisingly with Jhak Maar Ke and Tu Mera Hero with an all-together new breed and genre of music.”

    What say you, SI?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. “Exceeds expectations”?

    Now, WTF is that?

    Which sane person has “expectations” from a Bollywood movie?

    If all noise be music, then even a fart, the firing of a gun, the cawing of a crow, the vile rant of a Kasab…..would be music.

    2. Taken together, the song + picturization in Desi Boyz amounts to no more than a ghastly nightmare.

    3. Many decades after Aradhana, Bobby, Daag, Hare Krishna Hare Ram, Bees Saal Baad, Prem Pujari, Anari, Evening in Paris, Kashmir Ki Kali, Chori Chori, Shree 420, Mera Naam Joker, Aandhi, Prince etc debuted old fogies like us are still humming numbers from those movies. These albums are worthy of 4/5 stars.

    We’ll bet our last dime that three hours after Desi Boyz releases in India no one will be humming any tracks from the movie.

    Desi Boyz is mere noise.

    How apposite that the first track in the movie is Make Some Noise….. ;)

  5. Off-topic:

    mayakkam enna? paarka vendiyadhu thaane.

    Every review is praising the film and selva direction

  6. Mayakkam Enna???

    Pls No!!!

    It sucked big time!

    You cannot blame me a commercial movie lover, mind you i’m a fan of Terrence Mallick.

    The major problem with the movie is, in the name of natural acting actors either go way over the top and making you squirm in the seats or in the name of subtle acting gives a stoneface… and in the name of music GV wasted the golden opportunity of using an orchestra, the end result you get jarring and monotonous cacophony (i think he tried to play an ilayaraja here). in the first half my interest level wavered like a sine wave reaching positive maximum and negative maximum and in the second half hit the rock bottom.

    I can’t remember the last time when i felt so uncomfortable inside the theater while watching a movie

    Worth a miss!!

  7. @ Rajarajan:

    “I can’t remember the last time when i felt so uncomfortable inside the theater while watching a movie”

    True very true, Even I felt the same…… such a boring movie..much worse than epic bore vaaranam aayiram