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Dec 202013
 

By MadMax673

I should have given a second thought about watching “Biriyani” oops Venkat Prabhu’s “diet.”

My bad.

Seriously, how is it possible to sustain energy after watching a piece of drivel that is a combo of shit load of movies you’ve seen before?

To take off with, Biriyani starts off in a “True Lies” fashion with a Skoda jumping off a broken bridge or whatever it is.

There is a long, extreme close-up of Premji’s wide open mouth that goes on for at least ten minutes which reminded me of Marky Mark in “Pain & Gain.

I suppose Venkat Prabhu got fed up with Hollywood movies for a bit and started circling around old Kollywood flicks like “Tic Tic Tic”, “Naduvula Konjam Pakkatha Kaanom”, “Apoorva Sagotharargal” and many more until he gets back to “Mission Impossible”.

Boring as Hell

This shit flick doesn’t deserve character names but for the sake of reviewing I’ve noted down a few names so that I don’t forget.

Sugan (Karthi) and Parasu (Premji) are friends.

Sugan is notorious for wooing those chicks that Parasu has a love interest on. And this is exactly what goes on until the interval, pretty much.

All these scenes were boring as hell!

In between, Nasser plays a granite tycoon who gets involved in a scam. He is under investigation by a cop, Sampath.

There is Ramki (Nasser’s brother) who supposedly has ulterior motives and another Cop who supports him.

Finally “Ven Puluthi” Venkat Prabhu decides “enough is enough, let’s throw in a hot chick in the form of Maya and create a twist” and Nasser disappears.

Oh yeah, by the way, there’s Sugan’s father, mother, sister, and friends.

And hey, there is Hansika Motwani too.

The use of bungee cords during fight scenes were obvious. The bungee fights in Charlie’s Angels (2000) were trillion times better.

Did Venkat Prabhu successfully untie the knot he created in the form of a filthy twist?

Or does he confuse the shit out of the audience in the form of throwing another twist after another twist after another twist?

That is for you all to watch on the silver screen.

Filthy Part

When Maya enters, she strokes the gear shift to seduce Sugan suggesting a hand-job.

Reminded me of “Gone in 60 Seconds.

Lip synchronization was bad.

When Sugan decides to leave, Maya suggests “3-some”!? That draws an instant awkward CGI – twinkle in the duo’s teeth.

There is a totally trivial insertion of actor Jai with Premji’s formal voice-over. He merely appears for three seconds.

There is another trivial insertion of Arvind Akash, I think (not sure of his name). Guess what he is coming for? “Vilayaadu Mankaatha” song & dance.

I agree that Venkat Prabhu sure has balls of Thor!!!

There are far too many trivial scenes like this.

Acting

Karthi is starting to deteriorate in his acting skills.

Premji is hideous in this movie.

Hansika Motwani shows up for very few scenes.

None of the other actors were impressive except to a little extent, Uma Riyazkhan.

Music, Songs & Background Score

No relief here either.

None of the songs stood in my mind.

BG score was unbelievably bad.

Yuvan Shankar Raja fails badly.

I think there is nothing to blame him for when the story is least impressive.

Shitty Trademark

If there was anything I figured out about Venkat Prabhu it is that he combines a cluster of good and bad set pieces from various other movies to dish out a monsterpiece in the name of a feature film.

His trademark sucks!

Just when I thought the movie was going to end there was another Night Shyamalan kinda twist that completely threw me off.

Biriyani Rating

It is better not reveal bad dreams.

Say what you want to, laugh as much as you want, hurl insults or verbal abuse.

I bet nothing will match the vicious assault this jackass Venkat Prabhu unleashed on my brain and my eye.

During the interval there were problems with the projector. And guess what!? They re-started the movie for a few minutes. I should’ve taken it as an ill-omen and stomped out of the theater. Too late. :(

Lesson learnt.

  14 Responses to “Biriyani Review – Ugly, Perverse, Sickening Piece of Shit”

  1. So, totally the verdict on Tamil movie Biriyani = Mental Dysentery

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You hit the nail on the head! ;)

    • There is huge difference between Biriyani and “Dum” Biryani, right?

      SearchIndia.com Responds:

      Sweetie, sorry for the delay in responding.

      Was out to see Dhoom 3. :(

      What did Shaeshup Iyer say – A Biryani by any name will …. ;)

      • I am watching Dhoom 3 in a couple of hours.

        What should I expect?

        SearchIndia.com Responds:

        I did not think much of this Bollywood revenge drama wrapped in Hollywood garb.

        There were some moments of visual appeal. But they were few & far between.

        Overall, I was disappointed.

        BTW, it is T H R E E (almost) Hours Long. Keep that in mind if you’re taking the little one along. Set for the most part in Chicago.

        I booked on Fandango, just to be on the safe side.

        Decent crowd though. Two evening shows were sold out and the theatre added one more.

        • I booked online as well.

          I called the theater and they said the 3 previous shows were sold out.

          I am going alone… Bollywood movies not good for mental growth of kids…

          I want my little one to be better than me :)

          SearchIndia.com Responds:

          You write: Bollywood movies not good for mental growth of kids…

          Now you know why I’ve turned out the way I have! ;)

        • I want to see a scene of a song shot in Navy Pier where Katrina hands panju mittai (cotton candy) to kids.

          She did nearly more than 30 takes and could not get it right. She wasn’t able to lip-sync to the song and hand out candies at the same time.

          She was miserable since she was wearing a thin and short dress in the cold and windy late-fall early-winter of Chicago.

          In the end I got my picture taken with her.

          … and yes, I got a pic with Aamir Khan too.

          SearchIndia.com Responds:

          That scene looked far too contrived.

          • Tickets are way cheap here. $6.50 for Friday night show.

            SearchIndia.com Responds:

            That’s pretty cheap! Hope it’s not one of those Big Cinemas like theatres.

            I paid $10.75 for the matinee (including Fandango fee of $1.25).

          • Cinemark 20 screens.

            Nice comfy seats.

            Good experience so far. Coke with good fizz, crunchy pop corn and juicy jalapeños :)

            SearchIndia.com Responds:

            What a coincidence…I packed some fresh-out-of-the-oven Jalapeño bagels too today!

            I watched Aarambam in Cinemark…but old hall.

          • Just returned. The beautiful city of Chicago is the hero of the movie. Period.

            I am surprised that you decided to mention in your review “Destroys himself” and the double act thing which give away whatever little the movie has in terms of suspense. May I suggest that you edit it out?

            If you find time then watch Christopher Nolan “The Prestige” – a watchable movie with an irritating climax. Dhoom 3 generously draws “inspiration” from it.

            SearchIndia.com Responds:

            1. I’ve been a life-long votary of the “Less is More” principle in reviews with the rare exception of Aamir Khan’s movies.

            2. I’ve watched and even reviewed the Prestige but can barely recall the details now. Even if they have drawn ‘inspiration’ from it, have they not sufficiently “Bollywoodized it?”

          • Yes, they have Bollywoodized it but those who have seen and remember The Prestige will scream foul because it is blatant.

            I guessed the double act thing probably 30 minutes before it was revealed.

            SearchIndia.com Responds:

            I reviewed The Prestige in 2010.

            But I should have seen it again before watching Dhoom 3. :(

  2. Hmm… I am glad I am now in a place where Tamil movies don’t release.

    I will hopefully save some money and a lot of sanity!

    Biriyani is just the first part of Venkat Prabhu Trilogy. Vaandhi and Bedhi to follow shortly.

    • “The Secret’s in the sauce”

      Off topic: Have you guys watched “Fried Green Tomatoes”?

      Thinking about feasting on “Dum” Basmati rice for Christmas.

      SearchIndia.com Responds:

      1. No, haven’t seen Fried Green Tomatoes. Will add to my NFLX list.

      2. On SI’s immediate watching list –

      a) Episode 3 of the Korean soap My Love From the Star featuring the unparalleled beauty, 21st Century Cleopatra, the nonpareil Jeon Ji Hyeon (You probably remember her as the North Korean agent in The Berlin File

      http://www.viki.com/tv/20503c-my-love-from-the-star-moja-ljubav-je-sa-zvijezda

      b) Seven (Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman)
      c) We Bought a Zoo
      d) Amour
      e). Bits & pieces of A Fistful of Dollars

      3. No Christmas celebrations here….death in the family! We follow the Indian tradition of no festivities for one year.

  3. Hi SI, offtopic
    Watched Endrendum Punnagai (Everlasting Happiness) yesterday. Disappointed with the film.

    Cursed Jiiva for acting in these kind of films.

    SearchIndia.com Responds

    As I’ve said on numerous occasions, if Jiiva were not film producer R.B.Chowdhury’s son he’d be sweeping popcorn dropped by viewers in the movie hall.