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When our Brown selves want to swim in a sea of White we haul our sorry Brown ass to the specialty grocery store Trader Joe’s.

Other than our face in Trader Joe’s toilet mirrors (there are two), we haven’t seen a colored mug in there during multiple visits.

Apple of Grocery Stores

With 365 stores in the U.S., Trader Joe’s is kinda like the Apple of specialty grocery stores, attracting fierce devotion from fans.

When a new Trader Joe’s store comes up in an area, the fans are delirious for weeks and can’t restrain their aahs and oohs!

No kidding, folks.

When we heard that Trader Joe’s peddles Masala Dosa, Paneer Tikka Masala, Baingan Bharta, Garlic Naan, Malabari Naan and other heat-and-eat Indian Curry packets, we drove 40-miles to the nearest store to check them out and to, of course, ogle at all the White aunties.

The store has so many frozen food items that we missed the Indian stuff during our walk-around. So we enlisted the assistance of an employee who seemed eager to help and led us to the Indian food section.

Trader Joe's Heat and Eat Indian FoodIndian Food Section at Trader Joe’s

We picked different instant heat-and-eat Indian food packets including the Authentic Indian Masala Dosa from Trader Joe’s. One item that we badly wanted to try but couldn’t find was the Paneer Roll Achari ($2.69).

Although there were some Indian meat items too in Trader Joe’s freezer (Lamb Vindaloo, Butter Chicken and Chicken Tikka Masala), we gave them the pass and focused our attention exclusively on the vegetarian fare.

Call us paranoid if you want but we are wary of eating packaged Indian meat items from freezers. God knows when they are prepared!

Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa – Nice Packaging

Hailing as we do from Lungi-Land aka South India, our eyes darted to the Masala Dosas. Yeah, those rice and black gram dal crepes that induce an euphoric orgasm in the Lungi-Land dwellers.

Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa comes in an attractive blue color box with pictures of the Dosa and chutney.

Trader Joe's Masala DosaTrader Joe’s  Authentic Masala Dosa – Noooo, Not Authentic Dosa

Masala Dosa Details:

* Total No of Dosas in Packet: 4
* Masala Dosa Price: $1.99
* Coconut Chutney: Yes
* No Gluten ingredients used
* Vegan

Following the instructions on the box, we removed the Masala Dosas and heated it in the microwave for 30 seconds initially.

Trader Joe's Masala Dosa with Coconut Chutney - FrozenFrozen Masala Dosa with Coconut Chutney

After the initial thawing procedure, we heated the Dosa on a griddle (after dabbing a little bit of oil) for about six-minutes.

Trader Joe’s suggests heating the Chutney in the microwave. We, however, did not follow their suggestion.

Instead, we dropped the Coconut Chutney packet in hot water as our Dosas were being heated on the griddle.

By the time we finished heating all the Dosas, the Coconut Chutney was also ready.

Trader Joe's Masala Dosa - After HeatingTrader Joe’s Masala Dosa – After Heating

Disappointing would be too mild a word to describe Trader Joe’s Authentic Indian Masala Dosa.

Here is SI’s take on Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa:

* The Masala Dosas were small and did not have the taste or texture of an authentic Indian Masala Dosa.

* Masala Dosa was too thick to be called a Dosa. It had the texture and thickness of Uttapam and not a Dosa

* Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa was slightly thicker on the edges unlike an authentic Dosa.

* The Potato filling inside the Dosa was not in the least spicy. It was hopelessly bland and we did get not even a single piece of green chilli or any spices.

* The texture of the Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa was coarse as if it were prepared with Idli flour rather than Dosa flour.

* The accompanying Coconut Chutney was a bland creamish color monstrosity. We did not find any evidence of green chilli used in its preparation.

* Serving size of the Coconut Chutney is too small for four Masala Dosas.

Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa – A $1.99 Ripoff

Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa is a ripoff that robs Brownies aka Indians of the pleasure of eating this South Indian delicacy.

And it dupes Americans into believing that its Dosa is Authentic Indian Dosa. As authentic as our claim of Julia Roberts being our girl-friend. ;)

By the way, Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa box says “Product of India.”

We wonder which Indian charlatan is responsible for this Masala Dosa travesty.

Related Stories:
Inside the secret world of Trader Joe’s

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As we’ve said time and again, if people had even a modicum of sense they wouldn’t stuff their innards with meat.

Only animals gorge on animals.

Alas, bereft as most humans are of the elusive elixir of wisdom, they devour everything that comes their way.

Born as we were into an Indian community that abhorred meat, we took the carnivore road only in our late teens.

Now in the evening of our life wisdom is belatedly dawning on us. We’re starting to eschew meat and contentedly graze on vegetarian items during most outings.

In that meat-free spirit, we visited Singapore Vegetarian restaurant on Race St (at 10th St) in Philadelphia the other day.

Singapore Vegetarian Restaurant EntranceEntrance of Singapore Vegetarian on Race St, Philadelphia

Plus, ever since we had Singapore Noodles at Tangra Masala on Grand Ave in Elmhurst, NY we have been scouting for a place nearby to try it again.

The other day as we were desultorily driving through Chinatown in Philadelphia, our eyes fell on Singapore Vegetarian restaurant on Race Street (between 11th St and 10th St).

We quickly checked the menu on our iPhone 4 and were delighted to see Singapore Noodles listed.

After a 15-minute struggle to find a parking spot nearby, we marched into Singapore Vegetarian.

When we entered the restaurant around 1:30 pm, the place wore a forlorn look.

With her head resolutely down, a young Asian waitress was chopping Broccoli crowns in a corner and the restaurant put out a slightly musty unwelcome odor.

But since when have Indians been put off by a bad smell. ;)

We were also puzzled at the empty tables and wondered if we’d made a mistake.

But being the adventurous sort willing to try anything most things in life, we settled our derriere at a table.

A wise decision, folks.

For much of what we savored at Singapore Vegetarian restaurant turned out to be delicious fare. And a welcome change from the Indian greasy spoons.

As a bonus, the tasty food at Singapore Vegetarian is accompanied by an element rare at most Indian restaurants in Philly/NJ/NYC – Professional and friendly service.

A lot of Indian restaurant staff give the cold shoulder to desi diners but display a shameless eagerness to deep-throat Whites.

But we encountered no such step-motherly treatment at Singapore Vegetarian.

Au contraire, the service couldn’t be better.

Crisp, Hot Beginning

As we plonked ourselves at a table, the young Broccoli chopping waitress filled our water glasses and got us a bowl of Crisp Noodles with Red Chilli Sauce, Mustard and Duck Sauce and a kettle of piping hot black tea.

Singapore Vegetarian Philadelphia TeaHot Tea at Singapore Vegetarian

True to their name, the Crisp Noodles were crispy in texture and tasty too. Red Chilli sauce and Mustard added a sexy hot allure to the Crisp Noodles.

By the way, for some reason this appetizer reminded us of the South Indian savory Muruku.

Singapore Vegetarian Crisp Noodles with Mustard & Duck SauceCrisp Noodles with Mustard & Duck Sauce

Lunch Specials

Singapore Vegetarian restaurant offers lunch specials Monday-Saturday for $7.50.

Lunch specials include a choice of soup, Jasmine Rice, steamed Dumpling, crisp Samosa, Veggie Spring Roll and the choice of an entree.

While nibbling on crisp Noodles and sipping hot black tea, we placed our order of Singapore Rice Noodles ($6.95), Vegetable Tempura ($7.50), Vegetarian Delight($7.50) with Tofu for main course and Coconut Milkshake ($3.00) for cold drinks.

For soups, we picked Miso and mock Shark Fin soups.

Our Miso and ‘Shark Fin’ soups came within six minutes followed by Vegetable Tempura, Vegetable Delight with Tofu, Singapore Rice Noodles and Coconut Milk Shake.

Singapore Vegetarian Soups

With a slightly thick texture, the Soy sauce colored ‘Shark Fin’ soup included Tofu and Gluten.

No complaints folks.

The Shark Fin soup was  hot (temperature-wise) and quickly dispatched by yours ‘famished’ truly.

Singapore Vegetarian Shark Fin SoupHot ‘Shark Fin’ Soup with Gluten & Tofu

Miso Soup was a thin watery affair with tofu, lettuce and grated carrot.

It came piping hot to the table and we had no issues with it.

Singapore Vegetarian Miso SoupHot Miso Soup with Lettuce & Tofu

Singapore Vegetarian Appetizers

Veggie Spring roll with a filling of cabbage was crisp and hot.

Malaysian Crisp Samosa a.k.a Curry Dumpling was also crisp with Potato Curry filling inside. The shape of the Curry Dumpling reminded us of the Kajjikayalu we used to eat back home in India during festivals.

Steamed Dumpling looked similar to Kadubu prepared during Ganesh Festival in South India. The leek stuffing inside the steamed dumplings was tasty and we relished the appetizer thoroughly by repeatedly dipping it in the red chilly sauce.

Vegetable Delight with Tofu

Vegetable Delight with Tofu was a delightful adventure for our taste buds. Continue reading »

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The hard times a lot of Indian restaurants in the U.S. are currently facing due to the ongoing recession shows no signs of abating.

Six in ten U.S. adults (61%) said they are likely to decrease spending on eating out at restaurants (61%), according to a new poll by Harris Interactive.

Americans Eating Out - Harris Interactive Survey

We think that’s great news since less spending on dining out will surely affect Indian restaurants as well.

Deserve to Die

Most Indian restaurants in the U.S. that we’ve been to serve horrible food accompanied by lousy service and deserve to die.

It’s shameful that a lot of Indian restaurants in the U.S. can’t get even basic items like Samosa, Dal Makhani and Tandoori Chicken right.

The sooner they give up the ghost the better.

And when they die, they will be unmourned.

In more bad news for businesses, over three-quarters of Americans say they are unlikely to buy a new computer (77%) and 58% plan to spend less on entertainment within the next 6 months.

So if you’re planning on buying a laptop or PC, just hold out for a little while more.

There could be better deals on the horizon, say in the new year, 2012.

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Indian restaurants in New York City come in two forms.

A small minority meant for humans and the vast majority aimed squarely at God’s four-legged feline, canine, hircine, asinine, porcine, leonine, vulpine etc creations.

We’ve graced the portals of the Indian Taj branch on Bleecker St in Greenwich Village (in downtown Manhattan).

Since the downtown location serves sexy Indian food we walked into the 74th St Jackson Heights branch of Indian Taj nourishing hopes of a similar titillating meal here too.

Merciless Assault

Alas, the Jackson Heights branch turned out to be the bastard child of the Indian Taj restaurant group that operates multiple restaurants in NYC.

For much of what we tasted at Indian Taj on 74th St in Jackson Heights is definitely not designed for biped, i.e. human consumption.

Indian Taj 74th St Jackson Heights Indian Taj Jackson Heights – Horrid Indian Food

What we encountered at Indian Taj was one brutal, furious, merciless assault after another on our taste buds.

Be it Vegetarian or Chicken items, Indian Taj’s kitchen lobbed one missile after another, lacerating not merely our palate but making sharp gashes into our tender soul at the thought that one Indian could be so perverse, so cruel, so heartless, so maleficent toward another.

Indian Taj – Horrid Fare

Can some sane individual explain to us how Chicken Chilli can be anything but spicy.

You see, the beastly monsters lurking inside Indian Taj’s kitchen decided that Chicken Chilli must be a spice-neutered, emasculated travesty.

Not in the least spicy, the blandness of Chicken Chilli brought tears to our eyes over the absence of any heat from the chillies and spices.

With their effete palates, a lot of Americans may not have the testicular fortitude for spicy Indian food.

But we certainly have the cojones for spicy food. Bring it on.

Adding insult to injury, the Chicken Chilli was cold, just minutes after the restaurant opened.

Indian Taj Jackson Heights Chicken ChilliCold, Spiceless Chicken Chilli

The medium sized Vegetable Samosa was evenly fried and that’s all we can say in its favor.

The Potato filling inside, which is the main allure of a Samosa, was horridly tasteless.

Worse than the bland mashed Potatoes that an American Grocery store deli peddles.

By God, if you can’t get the Samosa right you really have no place in an Indian kitchen. A Samosa is the equivalent of toasting bread.

How f*cking difficult can it be to get a Samosa right!

Indian Taj Tasteless SamosaTasteless Samosa (left)

Kadi Pakora with a surfeit of Turmeric Powder did not provide us any joy of eating this famed Punjabi delicacy.

Pakoras in Kadi Pakora were so tasteless that we cringed after one bite.

Indian Taj Jackson Heights - Kadi PakoraKadi Pakora – Mucho Turmeric Powder

Yellow Dal was hot temperature wise and that’s it.

Devoid of any flavor, Indian Taj’s Yellow Dal in our opinion is not fit for any living creature’s consumption leave alone paying diners.

Where do crappy restaurants like Indian Taj pick up their clueless kitchen staff from?

Are they Indians, Amigos or Aliens from a distant galaxy?

We wanna know.

Indian Taj Jackson Heights - Yellow DalTasteless Yellow Dal (top), Palak Paneer
and Navratan Korma (bottom left)

Mercifully, Palak Paneer did not have the usual raw taste that you encounter at so many Indian restaurants in the NY/NJ area.

But it was hopelessly flavorless and it felt like we were eating finely boiled chopped Spinach with fried Paneer than the North Indian creamy delicacy Palak Paneer.

Navratan Korma was creamy but dominated by Chickpeas making us wonder why Indian Taj had two Chickpeas items on the lunch buffet. Navratan Korma is usually prepared with a combination of nine vegetables including some nuts.

Compounding our irritation, the Indian Taj version of Navratan Korma was far too sweetish. Continue reading »

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Based on long years of dining out, we’d unequivocally declare that most Indian restaurants in the NY/NJ area are not fit for humans.

Some are not suitable even for animals.

And then there are the rare few like Mehfil in Jackson Heights that are unsuitable even for Aliens visiting from distant galaxies.

All Round Pain

It was bad Karma that drew us to Mehfil the other day.

We were misled by some of the favorable reviews on other sites.

Sadly, a lot of Indian restaurant reviews on other sites are penned by clueless bozos utterly unfamiliar with Indian food. Have keyboard, ergo will type nonsense seems to be the leitmotif of many reviewers these days.

Located on 37th Avenue and 76th St in Jackson Heights, a couple of blocks from the Indian hub on 74th St, Mehfil has been around for a couple of years.

We used to pass by the restaurant on our way to the Jackson Heights library but never found the time to stop.

During our latest visit to Jackson Heights, we were determined to stop by at Mehfil and sample its wares.

And so we did.

Much to our infinite regret.

It seemed as if all of Satan’s minions had congregated inside Mehfil’s kitchen with the mission of inflicting hideous, maximum, unrelenting pain on unsuspecting souls who walked in.

Mehfil Jackson Heights Samosa & Mixed Veg CurryHorrid Samosa, Tasteless Mixed Veg Curry

From the horrid vegetable Samosa with its tasteless potato filling to the dry rice to the awful Tandoori items, Mehfil is a restaurant that screams its inadequacies.

How a restaurant can screw up basic fare like Samosa or Mixed Vegetable Curry or Tandoori Chicken and still claim to serve Indian cuisine is hard for sane minds to fathom. Must be the Himalayan heights of incompetence.

The restaurant is a simple affair, nothing fancy about the place.

Two rows of tables with a small corridor in between.

Mehfil Jackson Heights Fish Tandoori, Chicken Tikka Masala & Tandoori ChickenAwful Fish Tandoori (top left), Tandoori
Chicken  (right), Chicken Tikka Masala

Tandoori Items – Clueless or Callous

Tandoori items are standard stuff in most Indian restaurants in NYC.

Cooked in a Tandoor (Indian clay oven) after proper marination with a mixture of yogurt and spices, they’re a royal treat when done well.

But the two Tandoori items at Mehfil – Tandoori Chicken and Fish Tandoori – were Katrinaesque disasters.

Hopelessly badly marinated, both left a horrible taste in the mouth that lingered.

Chicken Tikka Masala is another fixture at Indian restaurants in Jackson Heights and Manhattan as well. Alas, that too turned out to be  a travesty here.

While the gravy was at least edible, the chicken had a weird medicinal taste (no kidding) and a horrid hard texture.

We shudder to think what might have given it the weird taste.

Mehfil Jackson Heights Veg CurriesHorrid Alu Gobi (bottom left), Zucchini,
Mixed Veg Curry (bottom right) & Samosa

Mehil is an equal opportunity offender.

Satan does not squander any opportunity in his torturous mission. Continue reading »

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After spending a lifetime gorging on the infinite varieties of Indian curries, we’ve now started exploring what’s on the other side of the curry fence.

In pursuit of the elixir outside of Indian food, we’ve lately started gormandizing on Thai food.

A variety of Thai dishes including Pad Thai, Drunken Noodles, Panang Red Curry, Kiew Warn, Thai Pineapple Curry, Spicy Tofu and Hot Green Curry have found their way into that cavernous black-hole aka SI’s stomach.

But nothing, nothing from the cornucopia of Thai cuisine that we’ve indulged in so far comes anywhere near Gaeng Kua Sapparod or Thai Pineapple Curry to those unfamiliar with the titillating names of Thai food.

Allah or Jesus or Ram must have been in a most beneficent mood when he  parted with the recipe for Thai Pineapple Curry to Earthlings.

Thai Pineapple CurryThai Pineapple Curry – Manna from Heaven

Like with most great things, the origins of Thai Pineapple Curry are shrouded in a fog of mystery although we’ve heard rumors that one  of our peripatetic South Indian ancestors may have played a part in its creation during his wanderings in Siam at the end of the 19th century to bring civilization to the natives. ;)

A Different Curry

All curries are not created equal.

With their overpowering aroma and fiery taste, Indian curries are like, well, Indians.

In other words, hot, crude, occasionally deceptive and often herald their existence even before they touch your palate.

Once the Indian curry hits your palate, the shout gets magnified with the fiery explosion in your mouth.

Thai food, at least the bastardized American version of the various dishes we’ve tried over the last few months, does not need to scream to make its presence felt.

Still much of the Thai food we’ve tried has met with our approval.

But it’s the Thai Pineapple Curry that swept us off our feet and won our heart.

Thai Pineapple Curry is a coconut-milk and red curry paste based dish.

You can have the Thai Pineapple Curry with Chicken, Duck or with vegetables. So far we have had it only with vegetables.

It’s sweet and spicy at the same time.

Unless you’re a schmuck you know the pineapple gives it the sweet-sour touch and the red curry paste renders the spicy flavor or heat.

The gravy or sauce or whatever you chose to call it, in which the vegetables and small pineapple chunks come soaked, is neither watery like soup nor thick like the gravy of Chicken Tikka Masala or Butter Chicken. It’s somewhere in between.

Besides the pineapple chunks, the vegetable version of Thai Pineapple Curry includes Cauliflower, Snow peas, Cut Beans, Broccoli, ridged Carrot pieces, Zucchini slices, Baby Corn, slices of Cauliflower stalk, Tomato and Red Pepper

The dish usually comes with rice on the side.

You can pour the Thai Pineapple Curry on the rice or like we do, add a little bit of rice at a time into the curry and scoop it up with a  spoon into your mouth. Either way, you come out on top!

If you’re looking for a desi vegetarian recipe for the Thai Pineapple Curry, you might want to visit Jugalbandi.

As we make the rounds of Thai restaurants we can’t help but notice that service at Thai restaurants is friendlier than at Indian restaurants.

Sporting a mournful mien, waiters in Indian restaurants invariably walk and act as if they have a monster dildo shoved up their backside.

Au contraire, Thais are usually bubbling with their smiles and How are youuus?

Whether the Thai enthusiasm is feigned or genuine, it does make you, the diner, feel good.

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There is no such thing as “Indian food.” It’s a fabrication of the West. Each state has its own regional cuisines: Maharashtra, Gujarat, Bengal. And then even the states have subcategories — there’s coastal Maharashtrian, inland Maharashtrian, Muslim-influenced. Sadly, what most of the world knows today as Indian food is bastardized, trivialized — tandoori chicken, black dal, everything deep-fried. And it’s just a shame that many Americans will only experience it in some buffet line in New Jersey.

- Famed Mumbai chef Rahul Akerkar in Wall Street Journal, November 23, 2011

Tandoori Chicken - A Staple at Indian Restaurants in the U.S.Tandoori Chicken – A Fixture at Most
Indian
Restaurants in U.S

Rahul Akerkar is right.

Most Indian restaurants in the U.S. are a disgrace serving food unfit for humans or animals.

Whether they’re run by South Indians or Punjabis, most Indian restaurants in the New Jersey-New York City region serve unpalatable inedible food.

And we say that with cockiness because we’ve dined at over 100 so-called Indian restaurants in NJ and NY.

Some of the worst offenders are Bhojan and Dhaba in NYC, Saravana Bhavan in West Windsor (NJ), Flavors of India in Columbia (MD) and Rangoli in Chantilly (VA).

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By Naveen

Sukhadia’s is a landmark on Devon St. for Chicago desis prematurely ejaculating over nostalgic reveries of the motherland, Incredible India.

Besides the cornucopia of Indian Sweets and Snacks to which they owe their fame, Sukhadia’s also serves fast food.

For most desis in the Chicago area, a visit to Devon is incomplete without hitting the pause button at Sukhadia’s.

So, when I visited Sukhadia’s on Devon last Tuesday evening I expected nothing but the very best!

Sukhadia’s is conveniently located, bang in the middle of the Indian strip on Devon Street.

Parking can be a hassle at Devon because of the cramped space, constant traffic and Indians abdicating their polite facade and unleashing their baser desi instincts of pent-up rudeness and rash driving that are otherwise held in check at other places and times.

Parking a few blocks away, I lazily sauntered over to Sukhadia’s.

Only to find it surprisingly devoid of the usual hustle and bustle. It seemed the store was ready to close any minute.

I decided to sanctify them by dining in and carrying out sweets and snacks for extended company.

Modest Ambiance

Like most desi establishments in the U.S., Sukhadia’s boasts of a modest ambiance with basic facilities.

The shelves and refrigerators are clean and neatly organized.

Tables and floor are tidy. Sugar dispensers, plastic cutlery and paper towels are aplenty.

Like most cheap desi establishments, the Sukhadia’s serve food in Styrofoam plates .

Styrofoam plates, Gaaawd!

The rest room is disgusting and horribly maintained.

Oh, why should that come as a surprise?

Devon desi joints offer nothing but the worst when it comes to rest rooms.

The Food

Sukhadia’s is a self-service place.

We placed our order and paid the bill at the counter after a quick scan of their menu that boasts of an assortment of Chaat, South & North Indian and Gujarati items.

The first item that trotted our way was the commonplace Mumbai street food, Pav Bhaji.

The delectable Bhaji alone justified our long drive to Devon and to our pleasant surprise I found it non-greasy and non-watery.

Voila!

Sukhadia's Pav BhajiPav Bhaji

However, I was least impressed with the Pav.

You see, the cheapos at Sukhadia’s seem to be buying the cheapest possible buns from a local grocery store and peddling it as Pav. While there was nothing much wrong about the Pav, the fact that they took no extra effort to make one themselves or at least differentiate it from the standard grocery store bun irked us no end.

You see, our standards have increased after coming to Amreeka! ;)

Next up was Chole Puri, which was adequate in taste although nothing exceptional. Hey, the Jalapeno–Carrot pickle was a good side.

With a nice balance of sourness and right amount of spice, it turned out to be quite addictive.

So addictive indeed that I took a box home. ;)

Sukhadia's Chole PuriChole Puri

Out came Dahi Batata Puri and, boy, what an utterly lousy, disgusting piece of shit did these bastards serve us!

It was cold, watery, stale and puke-worthy with the Puris disintegrating on holding.

Arre o Sambha, are you listening?

Needless to say, we were livid at these cartoons.

Sukhadia's Dahi Batata PuriDahi Batata Puri

The Roti-Subji helped us partially recover from the tsunami of ‘Dahi Batata Puri’ disgust we were drowning in.

Roti was large, soft and warm and the Kala Channa subji was a fine side.

Sukhadia's Roti SubjiRoti Subji

The other Subji involving the rape of Baingan (Egg Plant) with a salty concoction masquerading as gravy, was unfit for human consumption. Or for that matter, even animals.

Again, the Jalapeno-Carrot pickle abated the agony (Or as young Macaulay would have said, Thank You, Madam, the agony is abated).

The less said the better of the Salt Lassi and Masala Chai.

Masala Chai is supposed to be aromatic and hot.

Alas, we were served a brownish lukewarm bilge devoid of any aroma or flavor.

Sukhadia's Masala ChaiSukhadia’s Masala Chai

 Salt Lassi turned out to be partially beaten sour curd with no salt.

Cursing the Sukhadia’s in the foulest language *&@#$%#$%*^, we junked both items without much ado.

Sukhadia's Salt LassiSalt Lassi

Alas, it was not our day.

The store manager / owner told us that most of the items in the menu were not available because they were shortstaffed that day and they did not expect many visitors.

*&#$^*@$, why do you keep the store open then?

Desperate for some $$$$?

Of course! You greedy *&^$#$*% would like to snatch every dollar from our wallet even if it is by delivering sub-standard quality.

Delicious Sweets

I am not an aficionado of sweets but I guarantee a trip to Sukhadia’s can put you on a high dose of Mithai-addiction.

To keep our desi lower jaws busy for a few days, I selected a sampling of sweets from their fine spread and a few snacks as well.

During the selection of sweets, the glib talking owner was a constant irritant offering his unwanted opinion.

When I asked for a sample of what was labeled as Mathura Peda he promptly thrust his hand into the tray and split the item into two pieces with his fingers and thrust his left hand with one half of the sweet towards my face as he flung the other half back into the tray.

Does this f@cker not know that he is supposed to wear gloves (gloves were present and his helper was using gloves)? Does the Chutiya not know why God bestowed Indians with the left hand?

(Water + desi left hand = clean bottom!)

Ignoring the bozo’s crude, unclean, defiling act, I checked it out (why, God!).

To my surprise, he packed all the items into a nice “Sukhadia’s” bag instead of the clumsy plastic bags.

Sukhadia's SweetsSukhadia’s Sweets

Let me say upfront that all the sweets with the exception of the Sweet Cutlet (bottom row, extreme left) were fantastic!

Each one tasted exactly how it should taste.

Sweet Cutlet tasted odd and didn’t exactly thrill me.

Sukhadia's Ras MalaiRas Malai

Ras Malai, Kala Jamun and Besan Ladoo were the picks of the lot although the other items were almost as good.

Ras Malai was a spongy delight. It oozed every bit of Ras in perfect coordination with the melting of the malai in my appreciative mouth.

Hmmmmm.. I almost came right in the store! ;)

Kala Jamun was fantastic, evenly cooked, sweet but not overtly saturating.

Brilliant!

Absolutely divine… The version with coconut flakes was also very good.

Prima facie, Besan Ladoo wasn’t that appealing but one bite wiped all doubts away and it proved its worth in besan ;)

The other run of the mill stuff – Motichor Ladoo, Kaju Katri etc, were not exceptionally unique but adequate and sweet!

After this visit, I added two more items to my “Must Try Again” list of sweets and those were the Carrot Burfi and Kalakand.

A mere 10 seconds in the microwave brought all the life back in them much to the delight of my taste buds.

Crunchy Snacks

A review of Sukhadia’s is incomplete without mention of their fine snacks.

We tried the crunchy Chaklu, Spicy Banana Chips and fine Mixture.

All fine items, good to munch on while watching your favorite Bollywood or Kollywood drivel.

Sukhadia's ChakluChaklu

Chaklu is my favorite, second only to my inamorata.

It reminds me of its Tamil Cousin “Thattai”.

While they are mostly similar, the use of Sabudana in Chaklu differentiates them.

The noise of a Chaklu disintegrating in my mouth is like magic.

Sukhadia's MixtureChips and Mixture are a fine companion.

For your Beer, Whisky or any other Indian son of a bitch Bacchus that gets you high!

Sukhadia's Spicy Banana ChipsSpicy Banana Chips

Recommendation

Folks – Sukhadia’s is a one of its kind, sui generis for Sweets and Snacks.

It is usually “OK” for fast food but it seems we caught them with their pants down this time.

If you are visiting Devon then make a stop at Sukhadia’s and pick up your favorite snacks!

It seems wiser to avoid dining in on week days based on our experience.

Now, while you folks read this review, if you don’t mind (or even if you do) let me refill my cup of mixture and stuff my mouth with a few more Sukhadia’s Chaklus. ;-)

Yummy!

Related Posts
Chicago Area Restaurant Reviews on SearchIndia.com

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A recent survey by restaurant guide Zagat reveals some unwelcome news for Indian restaurateurs in the U.S.:

Most Americans don’t give a flying f*ck for Indian cuisine.

Food Items at an Indian Restaurant in the U.S.Hell, No, Say Americans

Cuisine Favorites

According to the survey, Italian is the most popular cuisine, with 27% of respondents nationwide citing it as their favorite, followed by American (18%), French (12%), Japanese (10%) and Mexican (10%).

Interestingly, even as a lot of Indian restaurants are kissing the dust in cities like NYC because of the recessions a lot of new ones are also coming up.

In the last few months, Saravanaa Bhavan has opened two new Indian restaurants (one in NYC and the second in West Windsor, NJ), Anjappar has announced plans to open a branch in NYC and Bukhara Grill NYC co-owner’s son is opening one in South Plainfield, NJ.

Plus, the Biryani peddlers Paradise Biryani Pointe and Paradise Grill are expanding like there’s no tomorrow.

What gives!

In any case, after treating Indian diners badly for several years it now looks like Indian restaurants have no choice but to kiss Indian asses. Thanks to the recession, Americans are eating out less and when they do scrounge around for coupons and discounts.

By the way, most Indian restaurants in the U.S. serve abominable food that we wouldn’t serve to our dogs or cats (that is, if we had one).

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By Naveen

Ladies, (not-so)Gentlemen and fans of Bollywood / Kollywood / Tollywood,

After MTV’s Celebrity Death Match and Animal Planet’s Animal Face-Off, we have SearchIndia’s Chicago Hindu Temple Cafeteria Wars!

Y’all would have seen or read about India vs. Pakistan, Federer vs. Nadal, Kamal vs. Rajini, Bush vs Gore, Sri Lanka vs LTTE, Aamir vs. Shah Rukh, Lion vs. Tiger, Pandavas vs. Kauravas but it’s unlikely you’re even aware about the great Rama vs. Balaji clash.

Yes! The two Hindu gods are waging holy war!

Cafeteria is the war zone.

Food is the weapon.

And not-so-humble I am the judge.

Here’s a background for those who have no clue what this post is about.

A few weeks ago I visited the SVS [Balaji] Temple in Aurora and feasted on the out of this world food served in their cafeteria. Here is the account of my Balaji experience.

Chicago Balaji Temple Cafteria Review - SearchIndia.comAurora Balaji Temple

Last week, I gorged on the delectable offerings of the cafeteria in the Lemont Rama temple aka The Hindu Temple of Greater Chicago. You may read my Lemont Rama Temple review here.

With two solid cafeterias near me, I have to do what every idle man does… compare the two and put one above the other for no apparent reason except the sadistic pleasure of putting one down. ;-)

Without further ado here is the comparison…

Round 1: The Ambiance and the Crowd

While both Lemont and Aurora cafeterias sport a modest ambiance with only basic facilities for diners, the Aurora cafeteria is much larger – twice as big as Lemont’s. This makes sense because the crowd at Aurora is significantly larger than at Lemont.

If the day of the week is Saturday or Sunday, Balaji turns into Rajinikanth and all the South Indian Mamis dress up in Sarees, kids in Kurta Pyjama or Pattu Pavadai and drive down to Aurora to get Rajinikanth’s Balaji’s Divya Darisanam and importantly the “Prasadham” for lunch/dinner.

It’s like a first day first show of a new Rajinikanth movie. No, we’re not kidding. You’ve got to watch it to believe it.

While Lemont also receives a strong inflow of visitors during the weekends, the crowd is like that of a Kamal Haasan movie – sizable but not comparable to a Rajini film. At Lemont, there are more visitors for the programs organized in the temple auditorium than to the temple or its cafeteria.

Another interesting difference is that Aurora’s cafeteria is located right at the entrance of the temple. Visitors have to go via the cafeteria if they wish to have a darshan of Balaji or other Gods. Lemont Cafeteria is located well inside the temple. Those visiting only the Siva Temple or the Rama temple or the Auditorium do not have to pass via the cafeteria or even go anywhere near it. That way the cafeteria is exclusive to those who really want to eat.

Result: Rama Wins!

I like Aurora cafeteria’s size and Lemont cafeteria’s location within the temple. On the crowd factor, a large crowd can be eventful but a smaller crowd gives me more space, easy seating and better service. Rama manages to deliver an extra punch on Balaji in Round 1.

Lemont Rama Temple Cafeteria Review - SearchIndia.comLemont Rama Temple

Round 2: Menu & Cost

The two Chicago Hindu temple cafeteria’s menus and prices are very similar.

Lemont offers a choice of Plain Dosa and Masala Dosa while Aurora offers Dosa with Masala always served on the side. Those who don’t want Masala have no choice except to ask for no Masala, which can be a pain considering the large crowd. Lemon Rice is another item on Lemont’s menu that’s missing in Aurora.

But, Aurora fights back with Bholi and Indian Coffee, both not offered by Lemont.

Added to that, Aurora’s menu caters to the majority of its clientele – South Indians.

Lemont on the other hand has a significant North Indian following as the temple itself is a fusion of South and North styles. But their cafeteria serves nothing but the raised middle finger to North Indians. A shame!

Result: Balaji punches Rama in the gut and takes Round 2. Lemont’s menu should be revised to include a few items that North Indians like.

Round 3: Ordering, Service & Billing

Both cafeterias are self service.

From the time one enters the cafeteria it can take anywhere between 15 to 30 minutes to have the first bite at Aurora during peak lunch /dinner hours. There’s a line to buy tokens, then there’s a line to collect food and if you are that sinner who ordered  Dosa then you have to take a token and wait for your number to show up. If you show up even a minute late then you will have to wait as Dosas take longer than the other items.

The entire process of ordering – billing – collecting food is smooth at Lemont even during peak hours – just one small line. From the time you enter the cafeteria, you could be having your first bite even within 5 minutes. Even in Lemont you have to give your name in case you are ordering Dosas but the wait time was less than 5 minutes. Sweet!

Billing is another area where Lemont stood out. At Aurora, the person at the billing has outright refused to give receipts on multiple occasions. One another instance the swines double billed me and I had to contact them to get that reversed. No such issues at Lemont.

At Lemont, water cups, spoons, paper towels and water cans are abundantly available for patrons. In Aurora, at the time of billing one has to ask for the exact number of water cups and spoons needed. You may even be asked to share cups or spoons by the idiot  behind the counter. Also, there are no water jugs at Aurora – only water fountains.

Result: Rama comes right back into the game by landing tight slaps on both cheeks of Balaji

Round 4: Hygiene & Environmental Consciousness

Both Lemont and Aurora do quite ok on hygiene but here are a few observations.

Lemont keeps an open sugar bowl instead of sugar sachets. There are more easily accessible rest rooms in the Lemont temple than at Aurora and also due to the crowd the rest rooms at Aurora are more extensively used. But kudos to the staff who manage to keep it in decent shape.

The one big factor where Aurora gets some extra points is their attempt to implement the “Go Green” initiative. Recently they completely eliminated Styrofoam and moved to paper cups and plates. Lemont is still on Styrofoam.

Result: Balaji recovers from Rama’s brutal assault in the previous round

Round 5: The Food

Lemont Rama Vs Aurora Balaji Temple Canteen Food

Coming to the core of the cafeteria.. the food itself. As you may have read in my reviews both cafeterias can be proud of the food they serve.

South Indians in the Chicago region will take either of these cafeterias any day over the garbage served at many of the so-called “Fine Dining” Indian restaurants in the same area.

Still, there are some differences between the two temple cafeterias that did not miss an astute observer like yours truly.

Despite all the good food at Lemont, two factors clearly tilt the scales in favor of Aurora:

1. Lemont’s Curd rice and Tamarind rice were nowhere in the same heavenly class as Aurora’s. Lemont’s Tamarind rice was actually  atrocious.

2. Overall food temperature at Lemont ranged from cold to lukewarm for most items, which was disappointing. It was like Rama was giving the cold shoulder to his ardent devotees. The chances of getting cold food at Aurora is very low.

Result: Balaji delivers a powerful upper-cut and punch to Rama’s face

Verdict

The dust settles in the battle field.

Rama and Balaji waged a tough battle and now they meekly await my verdict.

And I declare Aurora Balaji Temple Cafeteria the CLEAR WINNER of this challenge!

Here is why Balaji takes home the Cafeteria trophy:

*  They consistently deliver inexpensive, high quality, tasty and hot food to a much larger clientele. All their menu items are good

*  Their menu has what majority of their patrons want while Lemont doesn’t have anything for its North Indian patrons

*  They have attempted to be eco-friendly

But if you don’t like to wait in long lines or make a sprint for the tables then the Lemont cafeteria would be a better bet.

Related Posts:
Lemont Rama Temple Cafeteria – Abundant Blessings
SVS Temple Aurora Canteen – Count Your Blessings
Hindu Temples of Chicago – A Photo Tour

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