The sheer effrontery of the buffoons.
To put out trash like Varudu and then to dare call it a movie is but a sign of the metastasizing malignancy eating away at the innards of Telugu movies.
What were the clowns thinking, if these Tollywood simians are even capable of such hard tasks.
Stupid Shit
In its essence, Varudu is no more than the asinine account of a bridegroom (Allu Arjun) left stranded at the altar when his bride is kidnapped by a nut-case (Arya).
How our enraged groom hotfoots it to the kidnapper’s lair, rescues the girl, fights an army of villains, careens down mountains, jumps off bridges (the last three with his bride in tow) and ties the knot around the damsel’s neck is all there is to this stupid story interspersed, of course, with the customary sickening fight scenes and de rigeur silly song/dance sequences.
Here’s a Promise
Folks, if this piece of shit Varudu doesn’t turn into a mega disaster, we’ll abandon blogging, give back our U.S. passport and return to Incredible India to spend our winter years amidst all ye schmucks. 😉
Howzzat for a challenge, pansies?
Even by the lowly standard of Telugu peoples, the Varudu story is pure offal that there’s no way this is gonna resonate with any audience of humans.
Allu Arjun – IQ of a Tadpole
Allu Arjun still lives in the la-la land where acting only means moving your legs in some weird poses to the deafening beat of cacophonous drums.
What prompted Allu Arjun to do this film (besides the glitter of moolah, that is) is, of course, the proverbial 64-million dollar question and suggests that this fella is not endowed with a superior intellect when it comes to picking roles. Remember Arya 2?
Rest of this Drivel
Contrary to what you may have heard, Kollywod import Arya is not the arch villain of Varudu. That dubious distinction belongs to director Gunasekhar, who also takes credit for this fig leaf of a story.
The rest of the cast (Ashish Vidyarti, Suhasini, Sayaji Shinde, Nasser, the heroine Bhanu Mehra and mercifully even Brahmanandam) is completely irrelevant.
None of the songs did anything for us. Be it the fast number Saare Jahaa in the beginning, the slow Bahusha Vo Chanchalaa on the marriage dais in the middle or the Relaare Relaare toward the end. Yes, most of the songs were accompanied by the usual nonsense of Allu Arjun’s weird calisthenics while lip-syncing paeans to love.
The stunt scenes were nothing to write home about, particularly the final ones atop the tall structure that looks eerily like a nuclear power station and collapses unleashing a mushroom cloud of dust. Bizarre irony.
At a theater on the East Coast, the audience was distracted, engaged in chit-chat and frequently sniggering at the nonsense unfolding on the screen suggesting they were not enamored of the film.
We wasted $12 and sacrificed ourselves on the altar of this villainous folly. No reason for y’all to repeat our monumental blunder.
Folks, we wholeheartedly encourage you to show the middle finger to this mind-numbing garbage with gusto.
Stay at home, wank off, get sloshed, sleep off the hangover, catch up on cleaning, visit grandma, smoke a joint…hey, do anything but watch this nonsense.
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Varudu Review – Mind-blowing Garbage added by SearchIndia.com on
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Wow! And to think I once thought of Allu Arjun as a fine actor! 🙁
I am not completely sure though, whether this movie is going to fail – people here love hysterics, the more the better. Whistles and cat-calls fill the theatre, people throw coins into the air, start dancing on the floor, well, you’ve been here, you know it all 😀
SearchIndia.com Responds:
We can sum up the Telugu people in three words:
Have we missed anything else?
Oh wait, there is a fourth word too – Brahmanandam.
oh man…i was actually luking forward to this one!! lol…haven’t seen the movie yet so i wouldnt comment on that. But what abt all the hype on the gr8 graphics and the visuals and sum 30 minutes worth of “stunningly picturised” (their words not mine) telugu wedding ceremony stuff….
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write: oh man…i was actually luking forward to this one!!
Luking forward or puking forward?
2. You write: 30 minutes worth of “stunningly picturised” (their words not mine) telugu wedding ceremony stuff….
Boring shit.
Indians are the most unimaginative idiots around in the universe. And Telugu film-makers are the dregs of this lot.
LOL at puking forward 😀
Stopped following Telugu movies long, long back – now I watch em in strict moderation.
I have no idea where they came up with this idea of recruiting Bollywood starlets for their movies – there is a new actress in T-town almost everyday, people just cant remember names any more.
Today they’re there, tomorrow they’re history. And they dont understand a single word of Telugu. Ugh! The heroes these days are puffed up balloons of egos, and movies are all about their heroism 😐
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: Today they’re there, tomorrow they’re history. And they dont understand a single word of Telugu.
Gone baby, gone. Just the way Telugu movies are going.
The fundamental problems are bad scripts and poor acting.
As we said earlier, the lights go off in the theater and the stars quickly start yelling a bunch of words at random – Premisthanu, Muddu-isthanu, Paellichaesukundamu, Champaesthanu, Love-anthe, Naaku Kavali et al interspersed with a few fights and Brahmanandam’s appearances.
Before you know it, the lights are back in the theater. And we’re all poorer by $12. 🙁
“$12” ?
Only that small?
Seeing your new found passion for Telugu movies, I can say, that will take you to a theatre, 733 miles far and to spend $97 on a ticket. No doubt. I guess you are in love with Telugu movies, an unexplained feeling like a BDSM. To look intelligent as usual, you shrugs them off but deep in your heart, you feel a tremendous pleasure generated from the pain of watching them. Nice adventures in your winter life.
You must be enjoying a lot, right? considering that you don’t know the language?
Are there subtitles on the screen ?
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write: “$12” ? Only that small?
Only That small? Hey, we’re writing about the price of the ticket.
And you sound like you’re peddling one of those size-matters nostrums for the size-embarrassed people. 😉
2. You write: Are there subtitles on the screen?
No subtitles for the Telugu/Tamil shit.
Only Bollywood films come with subtitles here.
3. You write: I guess you are in love with Telugu movies, an unexplained feeling like a BDSM.
Ever since these tired ol’ eyes fell on Priyamani with her legs spread invitingly wiiide and lip-syncing to the Banagaram song in Pravarakyudu, we’ve never been the same. People who know us well say that the experience has deeply disturbed our
bodymental chemistry. 😉“Indians are the most unimaginative idiots around in the universe”
— Add to that, Indians are most irrational, illogical fellows in the Universe, especially Indian born East coast Americans 😉
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: Add to that, Indians are most irrational, illogical fellows in the Universe, especially Indian born East coast Americans
Guess, you’re talking of ShittyBank CEO Vikram Pandit a.k.a. Desi Butcher.
Avuna-kadha, Hanumantu? (Right?) 😉
Yes, of course I’m assuming you as an Indian (unofficially) – That’s why though you are an American, I included that in the above statement. Thanks!
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Not to worry. Even if the passport changes and we wear Gucci or Prada we’re still Indian inside.
As we’ve said ad nauseum, ad infinitum, you can take Indians out of India but not India out of Indians. Howzzaat!
LOL your Telugu movie reviews are the best… Couldn’t stop laughing.
Anyways someone thinks the movie is not bad
http://www.ganpatinews.com/2010/03/31/movie-review-varudu-telugu-2010-73831
“Final conclusion….Not too bad could have been better….Will run for a long time in theater…” Thats what ‘it’ says.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Oh boy, we love the last line in the Ganpatinews review:
Such a nonpareil conclusion can only come from Incredible India.
Ha ha ha. We haven’t stopped laughing. Thanks!
What a shame we didn’t think of a name like GanpatiNews for our blog.
SearchIndia.com sounds so lame and prosaic in comparison to the jaunty
GunpatiNooseoops GanpatiNews. 😉did you watch MAGADHEERA????? i hear its a decent telugu movie!!
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Not yet.
We’re waiting for the 5,000th-day grand celebration. 😉
The challenge you’ve taken up here is a tricky one.
The audience in AP is known to lap up precisely this kind of stuff.
Idiots them filmmakers may be, but they are clever enough to know what works with folks here.
Allu Arjun’s capacity to irritate is much more than his pint size.
His popularity in Kerala (he is called Mallu Arjun) shows that years of communist rule has had its effect on the brains of clear-thinking Malayalis.
You must watch Stanley Kubrick’s Paths of Glory.
I found the movie to be powerful.
Some good Indian movies in this genre (war/struggle for independence) are Haqeekat and Shaheed (Hindi films made in 60s and 70s), and Muttina Haara (Kannada, 1989).
I am saddened by the incident of a thug following you.
I hope you have lost him and that you are safe now.
Although I have never been followed by anyone in my life, I was on the verge of being lynched by a mob, some 11 years back. Not in communal riots but in a city bus in Mysore.
Magadheera is not without faults but makes a lot more sense that Arya and Varudu kind of movies.
For a nonTelugu person who can understand a bit of Telugu, your three word summarization was apt.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write: The audience in AP is known to lap up precisely this kind of stuff.
Sadly funny.
But we doubt this garbage will fly even with the AP audience if the disinterest we saw in the theater among the U.S. Telugu audience was any indication.
2. You write: Some good Indian movies in this genre (war/struggle for independence) are Haqeekat and Shaheed (Hindi films made in 60s and 70s), and Muttina Haara
Haven’t watched Muttina Hara but over the years we’ve listened to the Madikeri Sipayi from the movie many times.
3. Will watch watch Stanley Kubrick’s Paths of Glory soon.
4. You write: I am saddened by the incident of a thug following you. I hope you have lost him and that you are safe now.
Done surely at the behest of an Indian mothaf*cka. 🙁
We’re not surprised. Was bound to happen sooner rather than later.
varudu? vayula asingama varudhu.
how can these people see brahmanandam in every damn single movie?
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Sad.
if you can find this in itunes, u should definitely get this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TojTlYNNm9w
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Watched it. Nice.
Unfortunately, iTunes has only the 99-cent music track not the video without which the fun is lost.
You guys are gluttons for punishment, any movie with monkeys like Allu Arjun or the other idiot Prabhas, is asking for trouble. have you watched “Moon” with Sam Rockwell?
Interesting concept, there have been similar movies like the classic 2001.
But of the recent stuff, it is quite inventive.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write above: You guys are gluttons for punishment
They probably said the same of Christ too when he willingly mounted the cross. 😉
Such is the fate of all those who heave themselves on to the sacrificial altar for the common good.
2. No, haven’t seen Moon. Just read about it on Wiki. Looks promising.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC36KikVlIw
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Looks interesting. Will definitely watch if the film makes it to our shores.
Our only fear is that the presence of the pukeworthy, trashy, worthless actress Bipasha Basu will mar the film.
I had to wait for 2 weeks to get my cable connection fixed again(Thanks to 2 weeks’ curfew in my locality. 🙁 )
Thanks to mobile internet,however,I managed to read your review on first day itself.Thanks for saving my Rs.50 again.(My parents’ driver went to watch the film despite my warning and the next day,he informed me that he’s lucky to be alive after enduring that torture. 😛 )
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Marchi Po (as the villain played by Arya keeps yelling in the movie).
And if I were to trust the google search results in my mobile,you were the first person to review the film.(Read your review at 11:30 am as per our local time,that’s much before most cinema halls started screening this film.)
SearchIndia.com Responds:
As we’ve said far too many times, unbelievable that film-makers in India still churn out such offal and have the audacity to claim they are movies.