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PK Review – Wrong Number

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Dec 192014
 

PK starts off with a nude, 200% human-like alien (Aamir Khan) alighting from a flying saucer spaceship into the Rajasthan desert and wearing a shining, round green pendant around his neck. Once the nude alien loses his green pendant (actually a remote control to hail back the spaceship) to a thief, transfers the two-in-one transistor/cassette player covering his private parts to his hands and starts wearing clothes, the film quickly derails into an unending series of absurdities that get more painful to endure as time passes. By the time, the alien turns into PK, learns to speak Bhojpuri (by plugging […]

Action Jackson BO – Chimps Kiss the Dust

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Dec 082014
 
Action Jackson BO - Chimps Kiss the Dust

Much as I’m convinced that god does not exist, there’s occasional proof that he does. Folks, Action Jackson is a mighty disaster at the U.S. box office. Nothing pleases me more than to see chimps like Ajay Devgn and Prabhu Deva kissing the dust when they put out so trashy a film as Action Jackson. Here are the opening weekend U.S. box office numbers for Action Jackson: Related Posts: Action Jackson Review – Infernal Garbage

Action Jackson Review – Infernal Garbage

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Dec 052014
 

When a girl’s luck changes drastically for the better each time she espies the dick of a young man exiting the loo/dressing room, you know Bollywood is plumbing Satanic lows. Eternally burdened by ill-luck (at office, movie halls, restaurants etc), life is at a low ebb for Khushi (Sonakshi Sinha). Dame luck will smile on this cow only if she sees the dick of Vishy (Ajay Devgan), a fact the idiotic Jonah makes no secret of to her friends. So desperate is Khushi to marry an Indian groom from America that she runs looking for Vishy or rightly speaking looking […]

Bang Bang – Stupid Stupid

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Oct 022014
 

To refresh my memory, I borrowed Knight and Day from our local library and (re)watched it yesterday. Unimpressive as Knight and Day is, the Hollywood film is a quadrillion times superior to its ugly Indian spawn Bang Bang that released in U.S. and Indian theatres today. Tom Cruise has a beguiling charm that Hrithik Roshan will never possess and Cameron Diaz is by orders of magnitude a better actress than the British zombie Katrina Kaif. Above all, there is a wit and sharpness in the Hollywood film’s writing that the pathetic Bollywood mutation is sorely wanting in. Only in an […]

Sep 132014
 
Finding Fanny - Of Love, Lust & Regret

Finding Fanny easily makes it to the thin list of my favorite Indian movies. The story is delightfully offbeat, highly original and the acting an endless treat. Love, lust and regret hang heavy in the decrepit air of Goan village Pocolim that time seems to have passed by. Love Pocolim’s postmaster, the old bachelor Ferdie (Naseeruddin Shah) is one of a kind. Mooning 46 years over a rejection from inamorata Stephanie Fernandes aka Fanny, his life goes off balance when he learns the letter (proposal) he sent to Fanny never reached the pretty girl. So the batty old man determines to […]

Sep 122014
 

1. You are a scrotum-scratching chutiya from Andheri, Artesia, Edison or Sunnyvale who thinks if an Indian movie doesn’t start with Chulbul Pandey monkeying around the Bihari moti it must at least end with the blood-curdling scream Bajirao Singham 2. You think Homi Adajania is a kind of musty cheese Parsis smear on the face and inner thighs of their dear dead ones to attract the vanishing vultures at the Tower of Silence in Mumbai 3. You can’t stand the sight of a ‘no good actor’ like Naseeruddin Shah and wish he’d been dispatched to the gallows along with Nathuram […]