I am not a fan of Zombie movies and I don’t recall having seen one in recent times.
For me to watch the Saif Ali Khan produced Go Goa Gone, Bollywood’s first Zombie movie, was an odd choice.
But I don’t regret the decision as the movie was not so bad after all!
Story
Go Goa Gone stars Saif Ali Khan, Kunal Khemu, Vir Das, Puja Gupta and Anand Tiwari.
Luv (Vir Das), Hardik (Kunal Khemu) and Bunny (Anand Tiwari) are friends and room-mates. Bunny is the nerdy and hard-working one while the other two are happy go lucky guys.
Hardik loses his job when he is caught trying to f#ck a co-worker in the office. Luv breaks up with his girlfriend. The two join Bunny on his official visit to Goa.
Luv meets his unknown Facebook friend Luna (Puja Gupta) in Goa and learns about a Rave party she is going to on a desolate island. Luv and Hardik also go to the party and drag Bunny along.
Boris (Saif Ali Khan), a drug racketeer, is organizing the party to launch a new, highly potent drug. Whoever has that drug becomes a Zombie and now the Island is full of Zombies trying to eat whoever is left and turn them into zombies.
The rest of the movie is about how Luv, Hardik, Puja, Bunny and Boris deal with the Zombies and whether they escape the Island.
Now, since this is a Zombie movie I will not make a big deal out of illogical things like those mentioned below. What more can one expect from a Zombie movie but morbid stupidity?
* Why does a Hindu Hardik wear a Cross?
* Why does Saif Ali Khan speak in a fake Russian accent only when talking in English?
* Why are almost all the Zombies non-Indians?
* Why is Puja Gupta given a ridiculous name like Luna?
What Worked for Me?
The biggest factor that works in favor of the movie is the newness of the concept in an Indian movie.Continue reading »
Sajid Khan’s HIMMATWALA (2013) is touted as the official remake of the eponymous 1983 super hit movie starring Jumping Jack Jeetendra and her thighness Sridevi.
Unless you are a newbie to Bollywood, you know that Super Hit and Super Shit are highly synonymous in that industry and most sane humans say the 1983 film is no exception.
If you ask me, the new Himmatwala, Sajid Khan’s latest dump on the audience, is not a remake but a certified caricature of a trashy film that no one has cared two hoots about for the past two decades.
The new version stars Ajay Devgan, Tamannah Bhatia, Paresh Rawal, Mahesh Manjrekar, Zarina Wahab etc.
Story
This apology of a movie is set in 1983.
Thankfully, this fact is mentioned on the screen failing which it would have been impossible to know it!
Sher Singh (Mahesh Manjrekar), the evil Sarpanch of Rampur, falsely implicates a local priest of stealing the temple jewels and drives the priest to suicide.
The priest’s young son’s failed attempt to kill the Sarpanch results in the priest’s widowed wife (Zarina Wahab) and daughter getting kicked out of their home and village. The son Ravi thinks his family is dead and escapes from the village.
Several years later, in 1983, Ravi (Ajay Devgan) returns to the village when he comes to know that his family is alive.
The rest of the movie is about how Ravi falls in love with the Sarpanch’s arrogant daughter Rekha (Tamannah), takes revenge on the Sarpanch and clears his father’s name.
There is a sub-plot (I hate to use the word “plot” for anything in this unworthy movie) involving Ravi’s sister Padma falling in love and getting married to Shakti, the son of Narayan Das (Paresh Rawal), who is Sher Singh’s side kick / accountant.
Oh, by the way the real Ravi (Ritesh Deshmukh) dies in a road accident and his friend (Ajay Devgan) becomes Ravi.
I think it was because the real Ravi says “Meri Ma Teri Ma. Meri Behen Teri Behen” in a happy tone before his accident and in a sad tone after the accident.
I suspect he would have also said “Meri Biwi Teri Biwi” if he had one. The emotionally tickling line is also repeated later by Ravi’s mom during the climax.
The reckless screenplay is a repetition of Song – Fight – Emotion – Comedy with a convenient change of heart from everyone including the bad guys.
The director also sickeningly exploits the currently strong anti-rape sentiment among Indians when the hero’s sister is attacked. All the women in the movie are depicted as extremely weak and dependent on the men around them.
Although the movie is set in 1983, it seems no one on the sets is aware. The costumes, music, acting, locations etc. don’t remind you of the early 80’s.
Why is our Hero Himmatwala?
The Himmatwala hero’s 150-minute long journey, which feels no less than an eternity, is studded with heroism.
No impediment is too big for our hero whose single solution to all problems is to clench the fist and deliver a punch.
If Himmatwala 1983 had any virtues, it was the wanton display of Sridevi’s ‘thunder thighs’ to a nation of drooling idiots.
Alas, Himmatwala 2013 lacks even that ‘merit’ given that Tamannaah Bhatia is rather effete in the thighs department.
The reviews are starting to come in for Sajid Khan’s Himmatwala remake and they’re crucifying the film.
* NDTV
Himmatwala is a mindless potpourri that brings together the worst ingredients of 1980s Hindi cinema and parlays them into a messy mélange that quivers repeatedly under its own weight….Make no mistake: the 2013 Himmatwala is as awful as the 1983 Himmatwala. We can only hope against hope that consumers of Hindi cinema of this variety have moved on enough to treat it with the disdain it deserves….Ajay Devgan is joined in the garish Taaki taaki and Nainon mein sapna routines by Tamannaah Bhatia. Sans the thunder thighs that made Sridevi such a force, she is no patch on the real thing.
* Reuters
Finding a semblance of a story or logic in this film is meaningless, but Sajid Khan doesn’t even make it funny. “Himmatwala” is boring, long-winded and reeks of arrogance that the audiences will lap up anything that remotely resembles humour or drama if it is presented by an A-list star and with enough fanfare…. Avoid this one like the plague.
* Indian Express
A film that is hard to sit through, not because it is all actively ghastly, but because it is so deathly listless. When I was not cringing, I was dozing. .
* Emirates 24×7
Himmatwala is a lesson in ridiculousness, and a painfully long one at that. It blatantly assaults our senses, visual and mental, leaving us severely scarred.
Like most odious Bollywood films, Himmatwala (1983) has its origins in South India, or what North Indians mischievously refer to as gaand Bharat.
In 1981, a South Indian director with the unpronounceable appellation of Kovelamudi Raghavendra Rao cobbled up a plain awful movie in the Telugu language called Ooriki Monagadu starring Krishna and Jayaprada (who won notoriety in 2013 for supporting the criminal Sanjay Dutt).
Kovelamudi was a blessed soul since he hailed from Andhra Pradesh, a state where Dum Biryani flourishes but civilization, class, and culture are still work in progress.
Given the insatiable passion of the Telugu natives for anything simian in style and content, Ooriki Monagadu turned out to be a super-hit, fueling the ambitions of Kovelamudi to set his sights on the bigger North Indian market.
Bollywood Version
For the Hindi version, Kovelamudi toiled hard to find the worst actor in the universe and after a long search found one in the shape of the bizarre Amritsar lad Jeetendra, whose screen actions, at the best of times, closely resemble that of an escapee from the notorious Agra mental asylum.
To play the female lead, the director imposed only one condition – the girl should have thunderous, plump thighs to rouse the somnolent snakes in North Indian trousers into a frenzy.
Finally, Kovelamudi happened upon Sridevi, a scheming starlet from the southern state of Tamil Nadu, a land partial to the ardent worship of plump women like Khushboo and Jayalalitha and dark men like Rajinikanth and Vijay.
Sridevi was no Helen of Troy.
With a face not designed to launch 10 catamarans let alone a thousand ships, Sridevi still managed to capture the hearts, minds and, above all, the frenetic hands of millions of panting young South Indian boys, men and not so young men.
Sridevi’s distinguishing traits were those common to all successful South Indian starlets – the clumsy gait of a washerman’s overburdened ass, eyes of a loony, callipygian hips, and the general demeanor of one not well endowed in the upper story.
But her thundering thighs set her apart!
Such are the origins of Himmatwala, the movie which decisively proved North Indians are no less crass in their movie tastes.
Himmatwala went on to become a super-hit and sensitive souls like yours truly living in Mera Bharat Mahaan in the 1980s still remember with anguish the untrammeled assault of the song Naino Mein Sapna on the auditory passages.
Our premature deafness owes in no small measure to the relentless blast of Himmatwala songs from loudspeakers near and far, day and night for months on end in the benighted land of Ashoka, Aurangzeb and Narendra Modi.
Torture Ad Infinitum
The singular achievement of Kovelamudi’s Himmatwala (1983) is that for sane individuals, the film appeared to be targeted completely at quadrupeds (four-legged creatures where the tail is not vestigial).
Alas, since four-legged creatures lack the Rupiah to buy tickets it was left to the North Indian bipeds to do the needful.
North Indians, of all shapes, girths and colors, gleefully flocked in massive numbers to theatres, turning the Himmatwala monstrosity into a blockbuster.
Thanks to the lavish, wanton display of her plump thighs that more than hinted of the lush forest above, Sridevi was immortalized, in the feverish gasps and gushing eruptions of 300 million Indian men, as Thunder Thighs.Continue reading »
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