Entertainment Review – What a Bitch

This insufferable Bollywood movie featuring dogs, Akshay Kumar, bitches and Tammanah Bhatia plumbs the depths of the depravity business.

A bizarre species named Sajid-Farhad held the dog-leash of this exercise in cruelty, pretending to direct the canine-pack of bipeds and quadrupeds. Apparently, the duo also ‘wrote’ the screenplay and dialogs.

Who’s the Dog? Who’s the Bitch?

If you can separate Akshay Kumar, Sonu Sood and Prakash Raj from the dogs and Tamannah Bhatia from the bitches in Entertainment, I doff my hat to you.

I found the task well nigh impossible.

In some scenes, Akshay was on all fours and in most scenes Prakash Raj and Sonu Sood behaved no different than rabid canines.

I swear on Balaji that in several scenes Tamannah Bhatia and the female canine displayed the same amount of skin and in the final wedding scene both brides (human and canine) wore white!

And half-way through the movie, the girl’s father (Mithun Chakravorty) advises her in all seriousness she tie the knot with the dog.

Now if only she’d heeded the paternal pearl of wisdom and knotted herself with the dog my crucifixion ordeal in front of the screen would have been shortened.

No Comedy, Endless Misery

Folks, let the paid critics bark what they will about the film’s virtues but Entertainment is not one whit entertaining.

Sitting through 2-hours and 20-minutes of this nightmare required a herculean amount of pain-bearing capabilities.

Akshay Kumar plays Akhil Lokhande, an average guy forever getting the wrong end of the stick from people. To make his miserable life unendurable, the father of his TV actress girlfriend Saakshi (Tamannah) will consent to their marriage only when he becomes a millionaire.

One day Akhil stumbles upon the fact that his real father is a billionaire in Thailand. As he’s gloating over his unexpected good fortune, the billionaire dies leaving a huge fortune of Rs 3,000-crore to his dog Entertainment.

Once Akhil, his buddy Jugnu (Krishna Abhishek) and Saakshi reach Thailand, it’s a canine free for all that made it impossible to separate the dogs and bitches from the men and women.

True, comedies often feature incongruous, wild elements and there’s nothing wrong with it as long as the humor quotient is high.

The problem with Entertainment is that the writing is so atrocious there’s literally zero humor in this dung-pile.

As for the acting part, all we get is a horror show.

A freak given to wagging her tail and flailing her limbs in Telugu and Tamil monstrosities, Tamannah Bhatia is not worth spit in the acting department. Oh, at the rate Tamannah’s skirts are going up, soon she’ll be bottomless.

Akshay Kumar has overstayed his welcome in Bollywood but will not budge until a vet comes with a hypodermic needle filled with a strong anesthetic.

Prakash Raj and Sonu Sood are to comedy what Osama bin Laden is to peace.

Johnny Johnny and Teri Mahima Aprampar set a new low in both music and picturization.

Cringe-worthy performances, zero humor and a travesty of music do not a comedy or Entertainment make.

Tis’ better to hump corpses than subject yourself to a pointless depravity like Entertainment.

14 Responses to "Entertainment Review – What a Bitch"

  1. krishnab26   August 9, 2014 at 5:51 am

    I like the way you write these reviews with lots of sense of humour and dark comedy injected in it. ROFLing here :).

    SI Out of curiosity, just wanted to ask why do you watch these stupid movies and self flagellate yourself 😉 ?

    Instead you should have watched a good Hollywood or foreign movie or read some good book right ?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write: Out of curiosity, just wanted to ask why do you watch these stupid movies and self flagellate yourself

    Sweetie, I’m trying to understand what in these piffle gives our chutiyas an orgasm that they flock to the theatres.

    But I suspect I’ll go to my grave unenlightened since the bizarre workings of the Indian mind is beyond my ken.

    BTW, Railway Man (Colin Firth) has come to the RedBox kiosks. I plan to see it soon.

  2. mihi_rex   August 9, 2014 at 1:30 pm

    Should’ve checked out Linklater’s “Boyhood” instead.

    Just wanted to get your input on whether the universal acclaim this film is getting is well-deserved or just another case of the “bandwagon effect.”

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Boyhood is already in my list of four films to watch in the near future.

    The other three being A Most Wanted Man (Philip Seymour Hoffman), Railway Man (Colin Firth), and Woody Allen’s Magic in the Moonlight (Colin Firth, Emma Stone).

  3. rakeshbaba   August 9, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    Forget bollywood check out the Kannada movie song for movie making.

    Ugramm, a gangster movie
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRZBML2xTzI

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Channagidhe (looks good).

    Did you watch the movie?

  4. Aswin_Kini   August 12, 2014 at 10:47 am

    “Hitler was loved by the Germans.” And the Germans are one among the most classiest people in the world. Truly, the world works in strange ways?

  5. sam   August 13, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    http://www.hindustantimes.com/entertainment/bollywood/salman-khan-holds-special-screening-of-kick-for-hearing-impaired/article1-1251702.aspx

    Being Human!! He is the new mahatma!

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    When Modi blew Salman before the elections with that dirty photo-op, this is the kind of nonsense we can expect.

  6. Hari Jr   August 15, 2014 at 12:11 pm

    How are you SI?

    Coming back after a long time here. Hope you are in good health. Happy Independence Day!!

    No reviews for Anjaan and Singham Returns? 2 of the best films which are Oscar worthy? 😉

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Hello sweetie! Long time no hearing and all.

    1. Are you out of your mind. India has yet to win independence. Certainly not the majority.

    Only the Maderchod have won Independence in Mera Bharat Mahaan.

    2. We’ll try & have both reviews soon.

    One tonight and the second tomorrow

  7. Hari Jr   August 15, 2014 at 3:05 pm

    Yes SI long time

    Waiting for your review eagerly 🙂

    Recently watched “Ek Villain“. Total chutia film with Riteish Deshmukh as a villain in it haha. Hideous stuff

    I also heard its a ripoff of the Korean film “The chaser” though I am not sure.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. I have not seen Ek Villain. But I have watched and reviewed Chaser. Here’s the Chaser Review – http://www.searchindia.com/2011/06/26/damn-these-korean-guys-make-great-crime-movies/

    I have a feeling you’re confused and actually mean I Saw the Devil, another Korean movie that we’ve reviewed – http://www.searchindia.com/2011/06/13/i-saw-the-devil-review-bloody-violent-korean-gem/

    2. Was watching Garbage Returns a.k.a. Singham Returns when your second comment came in.

    What a ghastly movie!

    Garbage only Indians Will Love.

  8. Hari Jr   August 15, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    Yes sorry it was ‘I Saw The Devil’.

    I was wrong initially.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    If you haven’t seen it, I strongly recommend you watch I Saw the Devil.

    Choi Min-sik is a remarkable actor.

  9. Hari Jr   August 16, 2014 at 12:30 am

    Will surely see it have heard rave reviews for the South Korean thriller.

    How was Anjaan by the way? Better than ‘Garbage Returns‘? 😉

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    I did not see Anjaan.

    I’d requested someone else. It looks he may not have made it because I’ve not heard from him.

    • Hari Jr   August 17, 2014 at 3:45 am

      We miss your Tamil film reviews a lot SI 😉

      SearchIndia.com Responds:

      I’m not keeping good health these days, which restricts my trips to NJ to see interesting films like Jigarthanda, Velaiyilla Pattathari etc.

      Plus the ones that release in my area like Kochadaiiyaan and Anjaan are not meant for humans. Soundarya Rajinikanth knows as much about films as your kamwali bai knows about Immanuel Kant or Arthur Schopenhauer.

      • Hari Jr   August 17, 2014 at 6:51 am

        Oh.

        On another note, its really sad Robin Williams is no more

        I remember his performance in Mrs.Doubt fire, he was excellent in that film specially that hotel scene where he sits with both his client and family

        Rest in Peace Robin Williams.

        Have you seen Mrs.Doubtfire?

        SearchIndia.com Responds:

        No, I have not seen Mrs.Doubtfire.

        I’ve watched his Insomnia (Robin Williams, Al Pacino) and one or two other films

  10. Hari Jr   August 16, 2014 at 7:34 am

    Oh fine 🙂

    Akshay Kumar has specialized in producing trashy films from the last decade.

    Special 26 is his only movie recently which I enjoyed a lot. The rest like Thank You, Chandni Chow to china, Tees Maar Khan, Joker, Khiladi 786, etc were all certified trash.

    And Special 26 is a good movie only because it’s directed by Neeraj Pandey and has two brilliant actors Manoj Bajpai and Anupam Kher.

    Anupam Kher has done so well that if I even see him on any channel I’m reminded of his ‘raids’ in that movie and start laughing 😉

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Anupam Kher has a small role in Garbage Returns too but is killed early.

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