Director: Madhur Bhandarkar
Cast: Kareena Kapoor, Arjun Rampal, Randeep Hooda, Helen
Repeated boob shows, self-made porn tapes, multiple bedroom scenes, lesbian acts, itsy-bitsy costumes that cover little and leave little to the imagination and pimping out men to get film roles, all punctuated by screams of “Bastard,” “Bitch,” and endless puffs of a cigarette constitute the sum total of Bollywood director Madhur Bhandarkar’s latest offensive against Indian moviegoers called Heroine.
Incapable of coming up with a coherent, engaging narrative, Bhandarkar’s sole ‘achievement’ with Heroine is to caricature top Indian actresses as bitchy tramps and the top actors as sexploiting cads.
In lockstep with the plunging necklines of the girls in Heroine, Bhandarkar plumbs the depths of every possible cliche about the movie world and wraps them up in mediocre dialogs shorn of any zing.
As if all of the above were not crass enough to put the discerning audience off, Bhandarkar populates the movie with two of India’s worst actors, Kareena Kapoor and Arjun Rampal.
Both Kareena and Arjun cannot emote to save their lives and yet, mon dieu, these charlatans hog most of the screen time.
Kareena plays the eponymous heroine Mahi Arora of Heroine.
The movie follows her career ups and downs, romances and failed romances, insatiable lust for fame and success, hysterical outbursts, pill-popping and drinking, traumas and betrayals, all in the crassest, crudest fashion possible.
The writing and acting are so sloppy that it’s impossible to make an emotional connection with the woman at the center of it all.
Kareena’s sole contribution to the film is to make herself look as slutty as possible much of the time while wearing the least possible amount of clothes.
If you have to know, Arjun Rampal plays Aryan, a film star and one of Mahi’s lovers.
What’s with all the “Rats,” “Andy,” “Babes?”
Does no one in Bollywood have an Indian-sounding name any more? If the goal is to effect sophistication, it’s a miserable failure.