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Nov 042013

Hrithik Roshan’s Diwali release Krrish 3 has not set the box office on fire in the U.S.

The movie, produced and directed by Hrithik’s papa Rakesh Roshan, took in a mere million dollars in its opening November 1-3, 2013 weekend.

Average gross of just $5,046 per screen is likely turning Hrithik and his father toward suicidal thoughts!

Krrish 3 had a wide release in the U.S., debuting on 208 screens.

Krrish 3 was hit by mostly critical reviews and likely suffered from lack of strong word of mouth.

Here’s how Krrish 3 did in the U.S. vis-a-vis some prominent Bolltwood films:

Krrish 3 U.S. Box Office Report

Related Stories
Krrish 3 Review – Best Krrish
Chennai Express – Sub-Mental Garbage
Nov 012013

No, Krrish 3 is not swoonworthy fare.

Merely, the best in the Krrish series of super-hero films and one of the rare endurable Bollywood movies.

Super-Hero Meets Super-Villain

Krrish 3 outclasses other Indian super-hero films like Krrish 2, Enthiran and Ra-One in four respects:

* Super-villain Kaal (Vivek Oberoi) is an unusual character with an interesting back story (not a cartoon villain like in 99% of Indian films) that unfolds in the second half.

* Super-hero aspects are not overwhelming, adding to the emotional quotient.

* Special effects are above average.

* Above all, Krrish 3 is not as silly as the other Indian super-hero drivel and the comedy aspect has been toned down to a minimum (I do feel bad though for the talented Rajpal Yadav, reduced to a minuscule role in the film).

The central theme of Krrish 3 is the clash with the demonic super-villain Kaal, who’s been unleashing killer germs on people in Namibia and Mumbai.

Vivek Oberoi has done more than a decent job as the super-villain Kaal, a maniacal genius out to wreak havoc and misery from his wheel chair.

One of the big chinks in the story is the motivation of Kaal. Is it an insatiable lust for money or a morbid desire to destroy  humanity?

Also, the music is not up to snuff and the talentless star Priyanka Chopra adds zilch value.

Hrithik Roshan Show

Good as Vivek Oberoi is, the star of Krrish 3 is Hrithik Roshan in a double role (inventor father and super-hero son). Continue reading »

Oct 172013

To say I was surprised by the turnout for the opening show of Boss, Akshay Kumar’s latest putrid gift to his fans, would be an understatement.

At AMC 25 in Times Square NYC, there were about 30 people for the 12:40PM opening show on a week day!

And to my great dismay, several members of the audience seemed to be enjoying this great apotheosis of trash.

SI rationalized it this way – You can take the Chutiya out of India but you cannot take the Chutiya out of the Indian.

Depravity Only Indians Will Love

Boss belongs to the same genre as Akshay Kumar’s 2012 movie Rowdy Rathore – Undiluted trash.

A perversity in every possible way, Boss did not endear itself to me in any manner.

Not even when Aditi Rao Hydari strutted out of the pool in a reddish pink bikini flaunting her tits, thighs and legs did I feel a rush of blood.

The woman can’t act to save her life and fortunately the creature’s role in the film is as skimpy as her bikini.

Hopelessly boring, this remake of a Malayalam blockbuster (Pokkiri Raja) is an endless litany of Akshay Kumar beating one guy after another to pulp the way they do it in those crude Tamil films. Continue reading »

Oct 032013

If ever you feel the need to engage a hit man, your best bet would be this Besharam (shameless) Chutiya Ranbir Kapoor.

There are no limits to what this grasping Bollywood Chutiya will stoop to for paisa:

* He’ll act in stolen shit (Barfi)!

* He’ll dive into cheap potboilers (Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani)!

* Now the Chutiya has sunk so low as to participate in Abhinav Kashyap’s latest dementalizing trash (Besharam), dragging his real-life parents Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Singh along to the freak show.

* For the right price, I bet this Chutiya will terminate your enemies with extreme prejudice.

Folks, Besharam is a putrid piece of trash that proved to be a hard endurance test for me.

Trash, Ad Nauseum

Besharam director Abhinav Kashyap’s singular achievement is to maintain the onslaught of nonsense from start to end.

That’s no mean feat because even bad Bollywood directors slip occasionally and include a redeeming element or two in their wretched offerings.

But Abhinav Kashyap, who directed the trashy Dabangg 1, leaves no frame unscorched to deliver 24-carat garbage in his second film. Continue reading »

Sep 092013

The whole world knows Indians have poor taste in movies.

But when even Indians show the middle finger to a movie, you can imagine how terrible it must be!

Telugu star Ram Charan Teja’s Bollywood debut film Zanjeer is turning out to be one of the biggest flops of 2013.

Anybody surprised?

Not us, surely.

Zanjeer (2013) was utter garbage, not worth being shown on the big screen. Maybe, straight to DVD!

Zanjeer Remake

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, you know that Zanjeer (2013) is a remake of the eponymous 1973 film starring Amitabh Bachchan.

The 1973 film catapulted Amitabh Bachchan into superstardom.

But Zanjeer (2013) has shoved Ram Charan Teja into the gutter and will certainly cause huge losses to its producers and distributors.

Here’s how miserably Zanjeer (2013) fared in the U.S. compared to a few prominent Bollywood films in recent years:

Ram Charan Teja's Zanjeer is a Colossal Disaster

Media reports say Zanjeer has kissed the dust in India too.

By the way, the Telugu version of Zanjeer, which released as Toofan, has also not done well in the U.S. (a mere $62,054).

Now that’s a miracle because Telugus have a high tolerance for junk and will watch almost anything that moves on a screen.

Related Posts:
Zanjeer Review – Trash Begets Trash
Sep 062013

Don’t believe the clowns who tell you the old Zanjeer (1973) is an iconic or classic film.

I watched a matinee show of the old Zanjeer (Amitabh Bachchan, Pran, Jaya Bhaduri, Ajit) on a hot summer day in its 1978 re-run.

And to the great anguish of my dear and near ones, my recovery was a prolonged affair.

Only classless, fartsniffing louts like Indians would exalt such foul trash as iconic.

Since the new Zanjeer (directed by Apoorva Lakhia) is based on the 1973 bilge, there’s no chance in hell of this film being anything other than junk.

The badly written story is the trite tale of a sincere police officer Vijay Khanna (Ram Charan Teja) braving great odds to bring a vicious don Teja (Prakash Raj) to justice.

This asinine theme has been beaten to death in a gazillion Bollywood and regional Indian films.

Yet the talent-starved Hindi film industry falls back upon the stale motif of the daring police officer smashing bad guys into pulp and destroying the corrupt system with bare fists!

It’s depressing that a talented actor like Prakash Raj, who plays the oil mafia chief Teja, degrades himself frequently by participating in such offal for the sake of a few coins.

Here’s one example of Teja’s tawdry dialog – Mona Darling, apna mooh sirf ek cheez ke liye kholna (Mona Darling, open your mouth only for cock-sucking).

I’m not kidding!!

Sanjay Dutt acts like a savage who has gorged on one too many opium poppy flowers.

Watching him stagger through the film, I wondered if this bloated real-life criminal and current jail-bird was still addicted to narcotics.

Mahie Gill, at 37, is a dependable ally to millions of desperate Indian hands under the covers. She plays Teja’s moll Mona in a short but appealing role.

Age cannot wither this beautiful babe’s seductive skills.

Music and most dance numbers (except the Mahie Gill number) are unspeakable horrors.

Last Stages of Rabies

If you’re curious as to what happens during the final stages of rabies, Priyanka Chopra provides a realistic preview in Zanjeer:

Ram Charan Teja

To borrow the memorable words of P.G.Wodehouse (The Butler Did It), Zanjeer’s hero Ram Charan Teja looks like “Mephistopheles troubled with ulcers.”

This talentless noob (son of Telugu “mega-star” and India’s Tourism Minister Chiranjeevi) has no screen presence and zero acting skills.

To make this hopeless misfit Mumbai’s Assistant Commissioner of Police Vijay Khanna taking on the dreaded gangsters is the acme of Bollywood miscasting.

Apparently, Ram Charan Teja’s Telugu film Maghadeera was a big hit in his native state of Andhra Pradesh stroking his Bollywood ambitions.

I pray that Ram Charan Teja hotfoots it back to Andhra Pradesh where culture and evolution are still work in progress.

Priyanka Chopra

Priyanka Chopra is her usual morbid self, acting and behaving like rabies has taken complete hold of her brain.

She plays the “simple NRI girl” Mala with all the aplomb of the chimp riding a bicycle in Mera Naam Joker.

Her “Pinky” dance number at the outset and subsequent antics with the hero at his home and the police station left me numb with horror that this whacko still gets roles.

Are there no vets in Mumbai, a city of over 20 million, who can treat this whacko?

Massively Underwhelming

In a sane, just world, the people involved with the new Zanjeer would be hauled away for crimes against humanity and subject to a Nuremberg like trial.

But in Incredible India these are the kind of garbage that draws in the crowds.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you!