If desis are not groping their fellow airline passengers, butchering family members, kidnapping babies, killing grandmas, masturbating on planes, committing medicare fraud or engaging in financial chicanery, then they’re destroying the livelihoods of thousands of workers.
Today’s desi newsmaker in America is Satya Nadella, CEO of tech giant Microsoft.
Satya Nadella graduated summa cum laude from the Clueless Business School whose claim to fame is the mantra – If you don’t know what the heck to do, then fire a whole bunch of employees. That will show Wall St and analysts you are a decisive leader!
And in line with that hallowed business philosophy, Nadella fired 18,000 employees today in what is the single largest firing in Microsoft’s 39-year history.
I cannot recollect a single Indian tech leader who has fired 18,000 employees in one go (Vikram Pandit fired more but he was in the banking sector).
Does 18,000 scalps make Satya Nadella the greatest Indian tech pioneer?
Microsoft described the firings as a “a restructuring plan to simplify its operations.”
As if firing 18,000 employees can simplify operations and restore a company to glory. The garbage that big corporations spout never ceases to surprise me!
Nadella promised his 18,000 victims that he’d fire them “in the most thoughtful and transparent way possible.”
I fell off the chair in a laughing fit, I swear.
Now what in the hell is a ‘thoughtful’ firing?
Most of the fired employees are in the phone production business Microsoft got from its recent acquisition of Nokia’s device and services group.
Microsoft says going forward it’ll make the bulk of its phones in Hanoi, with smaller production units in Beijing and Dongguan contributing some output.
The Komaron (Hungary) unit will close.
The bulk of the 18,000 unfortunate employees will be thrown under the bus by the end of this year and the rest by June 30, 2015.