In the long journey of our life, we’ve wasted countless hours in so many frivolous pursuits.
But none more frivolous than reading those trashy Mills & Boon romances – You know those ridiculous, pulp novels where girl meets domineering boy…sparks fly…boy and girl fight and part…girl pines for boy…time passes slowly for girl…boy returns to girl…and the two are united in blissful matrimony until death do them part.
Yes, the Mills & Boon novels are total garbage as is their movie offspring The Other End of the Line – Bollywood and Kollywood actress Shriya Saran’s first Hollywood flick.
Like most Indian film stars, Shriya Saran is a mediocre actress. And with her swollen cheeks suggesting a face struggling to cope with a hard object lodged inside, Shriya Saran is not even a very pretty lass at that.
Aishwarya Rai and Priyanka Chopra may be lousy actresses but their faces are no substitutes for emetics unlike Shriya Saran.
Directed by James Dodson, The Other End of the Line is a simplistic trashy Bollywood (in style not language) tale about a Mumbai young call center employee Priya Sethi falling for one of her credit card customers Granger Woodruff (Jesse Metcalfe) and heading off to San Francisco to meet him.
You see the problem is Priya like most Indian call center employees has an American identity – Jennifer David in this instance – to dupe U.S. callers into believing they are dealing with one of their own not one of those Indian coolies and cow-worshippers in a dirty slum 10,000 miles away.
Americans Empty Bedpans Over Shriya Saran
Priya goes to San Francisco but once she sees Granger checking with the white girls at the bar whether they are Jennifer David…she doesn’t disclose her identity and walks away…but guess what…they stumble into each other literally, then roam around town together, eat ribs at an American restaurant and curry at an Indian restaurant….
That’s all there is to this piece of garbage.
Sure, there are a few humorous moments. Like when Priya’s father Rajeev Sethi (Anupam Kher), mother and aunt land up in Palo Alto in search of the young girl or when Anupam Kher punches Jesse Metcalfe.
Or when Jesse’s friend Charlie Hendricks (Austin Basis) dryly intones after Granger returns after being punched – I always imagined Indian parties to be peaceful affairs. Gandhiesque, Kamasutra….
Oh, wait there’s also a scene of Shriya in a fairly alluring black dress that titillates us with some cleavage. Indian audiences may also like the mouth-to-mouth kiss between Shriya and Jesse toward the end of the movie.
Neither Shriya Saran nor Jesse Metcalfe set the screen on fire. Anupam Kher is, as always, good.
Ashok Amritraj was a F-grade Tennis Player in his days. True to form, in The Other End of the Line Amritraj has produced a F-grade movie.
For the 5:15 PM show on Friday at Regal Burlington (New Jersey), there were all of four people in a hall that could accommodate 82 people.
Don’t even think twice.
Life is too short to be wasted on trash like The Other End of the Line.