A pack of rabid curs descend upon a poor, helpless woman in the last trimester of her pregnancy and drag her into a dark alley on a moonless night.
The frothing whackos then shove a rusted hanger up the victim’s twat.
Folks, the resulting ugly, bloody, horrific aborted mess on the floor is Arya 2.
The hapless woman in extremis is the paying audience and the pack of rabid whackos sure do answer to the roll-call of Allu Arjun, Kajal Agarwal, Navdeep, Sukumar et al.
If you thought Arya was awful, its successor Arya 2, unleashed by a confederacy of dunces, is an apocalyptic nightmare of biblical proportions.
Handicapped by a bizarrely asinine story, infested with a gaggle of buffoons and endowed with an entertainment quotient of Minus Infinity, Arya 2 plunges the knife into the guts of the unsuspecting audience, repeatedly twists the knife scooping up their entrails, one long, painful intestinal strand at a time.
And the central villain of this hideous monstrosity is none other than the anencephalic director Sukumar, the accursed architect of the original and misbegotten Arya too.
Besides committing the horrible, inexpatiable crime of misdirecting this movie, the fatuous clown also lays claims to penning this drivel of a story.
Ha ha ha, if the poppycock we witnessed on the screen is a story, then we are Krishnadevarayudu!
In its quintessence, Arya 2 is the too-lengthy account of a devoted friend Arya (Allu Arjun), who’d do anything, yes anything, to help his rich friend Ajay (Navdeep).
No sacrifice (a refrain throughout the movie) is too big for Arya if it’ll bring a smile on his undeserving friend’s face. A trait he’s held on to from their days together in an orphanage many summers ago.
Yes, schmucks for once y’all guessed right.
Arya 2 is Arya redux.
In this love triangle a la the original Arya even Geetha (Kajal Agarwal), Arya’s inamorata is handed over to that ingrate Ajay.
That’s not all.
Our psychotic hero Arya also maintains a diary into which go such gems as pilligaddam-vadu prapancham chudakudadu, gundugadi-gundu karigipovali et al and on occasion even sweet-talks a faction of Rayalaseema thugs to renounce their sickles.
As if the aforesaid infernal garbage isn’t enough to drive you batty, in between you have that insufferable Brahmanandam mumbling ad nauseum about hallucinations, his iPhone, 9th floor and just irritating the bejezus out of paying viewers.
What did ya say? Ah, you want to know about Navdeep. All we can say is some zoo in Andhra Pradesh is missing one chimp.
O God in Heaven, what sin have we committed that in our twilight years our tired old eyes must behold that atrocious fight scene in the bus with two ambulances following.
Acme of nonsense, we tell ya.
Stylish Star, My Foot
Except for some dancing skills, Allu Arjun offers nothing.
Jeero, as the mispronouncing Telugus are wont to say.
The small-built fella looks clownish when dispatching off an army of ruffians.
The pygmy acts like a retard when he’s wooing the girl.
The Lilliput behaves like an escapee from the local circus when he’s sweet-talking his father-in-law Raja Reddy or his girl’s prospective father-in-law Kasi Reddy.
Kajal Agarwal – Kiss of Death
A hopelessly incompetent, worthless actress, Kajal Agarwal is the dregs of the dregs, the lees of the lees.
In scene after scene after scene – in the opening days at her new job, in the bus after her kidnappng, in the train with Allu Arjun, when she howls like a banshee after Arya is knifed by her father, in the hospital – Kajal Agarwal turned out to be the kiss of death for the movie.
By the way, will some charitable soul please, please obtain this man-chester a decent pair of tits?
If we’ve to watch any more of this Visha-Kanya’s movies in future, the knockers would at least be some consolation.
Music – Baga Ordinary
Except for the charmer Karige Loga song, none of the other numbers (with their liberal use of English words) made any impact.
Neither did the picturization of any of the songs send us into an ecstatic fit.
Blood on the Floor
The audience at a theater on the East Coast was not engaged with the movie.
People were frequently moving out, chattering or playing with their cellphones. Our neighbors to the left walked out before the end.
As we were leaving the hall, we overheard nothing but imprecations for this junk. The girl behind us was muttering to her pals, daridranga undi (horrible).
Earlier, during the interval we heard a guy whining, dance bagundi, cinema gabbu. Director kampu chesadu (dance is good, cinema is lousy. The director has screwed it up).
Ultimately, Arya 2 turns out to be a mortal combat between the rabid canine pack makers and cast of this film and the good guys i.e the audience. Alas, the viewers are felled by the rabid beasts.
Guys, unless you are the sort whose joie de vivre lies in wallowing in the detritus of a bloody abortion, do not even consider seeing this dystopian nightmare a.k.a. Arya 2.
Show Arya 2 the middle finger. This sick shit deserves no less.
We want our $12 back.
Critics Show Middle Finger to Arya 2