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Aug 132012

Tiger? Ha ha ha

In less than 36-hours, Salman ‘Murderer‘ Khan’s Ek Tha Tiger will debut on movie screens worldwide.

Unless there’s a meteor strike on Planet Earth, Ek Tha Tiger will rewrite the box office books in India.

It doesn’t matter one whit whether the movie is a work of art or a numbing piece of trash.

Because the Box Office Gods are smiling on this Bollywood scumbag. :(

The hype machine is in full throttle.

Plus, Indian moviegoers have a well-established reputation for seldom straying from trash.

Ek Tha Tiger?

So what’s Ek Tha Tiger all about?

Best as we can understand Salman Khan plays an Indian secret service RAW agent Tiger sent to London on some kind of observation mission.

RAW suspects an Indian scientist is traitorously hobnobbing with the Pakistani intelligence agency ISI.

Once in London, all hell breaks loose.

Of course, with Tiger on the prowl, what else do ya expect. ;)

There’s a romantic angle featuring that awful British import Katrina Kaif.

The rest, we suppose, is bang-bang-chase-comedy-fight-run-comedy-sing-dance-fight stuff.

Yash Raj Films is the producer and Kabir Khan the director of Ek Tha Tiger (Salman Khan, Katrina Kaif, Girish Karnad, Ranvir Shorey).

Laapata – My Favorite

The Indian audience has already voted for Mashallah via their clicks on YouTube.

Mashallah has garnered nearly 4.9 million views on the YouTube video channel.

But the song has not appealed to me as much as Laapata with its European flavor.

Mashallah – 4.9m Views

The dancing is awful, Katrina Kaif looks obscenely slutty in the worst possible dance and Salman looks haggard.

But the song is alright.

Sad, that the picturization doesn’t do justice to the song.

And, and, and then the song has “allah” in the lyrics.

That should give Muslims in South Asia and elsewhere an immediate adrenaline boost.

Katrina – Classless, Obscenity Defined

I have watched this Katrina Kaif thingie in several Hindi movies and countless video snippets including the above.

Seldom do I find even in Bollywood one so crude and utterly graceless and classless in movie after movie as this hopeless creature Katrina.

Hell, she makes even Priyanka Chopra seem the epitome of grace!

How this abomination Katrina manages to stay atop the Bollywood ladder boggles the mind.

Well, in Mera Bharat Mahaan anything can happen.

Even Chuhas can turn tigers. ;)

Aug 132012

(For Dr.Logu)

Tamil cinema’s ace thief Vikram Kennedy is a desperate man.

The schlockmeister of Kollywood has not had a decent hit in a million years.

His recent movies like Bheema, Rajapattai and Deiva Thirumagal were either plain awful or outright theft.

The audience is giving him the cold shoulder.

He’s seething with rage seeing podiyans (kids) like Simbhu, Vishal, Arya etc getting ahead of him.

The bozo must be losing its mind.

Now there’s speculation that Vikram’s upcoming movie Thandavam is also a ripoff of a Hollywood film – Daredevil.

SI blog readers will recall that Vikram’s previous movie Deiva Thirumagal was an instance of outright stealing from the Sean Penn, Dakota Fanning, Michelle Pfeiffer film I an Sam.

Daredevil – Junk

At the behest of one of my readers, I watched Daredevil (2003) the other day (Netflix has the DVD in the U.S.).

In my not-so-humble opinion, the underlying theme of Daredevil is not merely fanciful but utter drivel – A blind Batmanesque figure.

Ben Affleck, the hero of Daredevil, plays a blind super-hero who  ‘zooms’ and ‘flies’ over the city bringing the bad guys to book.

Yes, Daredevil too wears a mask and a costume. ;) Continue reading »