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Oct 102014

Surface Pro 3 Tablets - Buggy, PriceySurface Pro 3 – Discounts Start

Some companies are like some people – Plain stupid.

They never learn from their follies.

Take Microsoft and its doomed Surface tablets for instance.

Over the last few years, Microsoft has incurred losses nearing two billion dollars on its disastrous forays into the tablet arena.

No matter that Microsoft rolled out different models or programs, consumers just refused to open their wallets for the Surface tablets making them one of the biggest duds in recent years.

Microsoft’s desperate efforts to woo buyers with repeated discounts went nowhere with older models of Surface. Most likely, tens of thousands of older model Surface tablets have gone into landfills polluting the planet.

Discounts – History Repeats

Microsoft made the same mistake with the new Surface Pro 3 tablet by pricing it too high.

A 512GB version of Surface Pro 3 with keyboard, case, docking station, mouse and Office software costs in excess of  $2,500. I wonder what they smoke in Redmond.

Compounding the pricing error, Microsoft positioned the device as a tablet plus PC, i.e. a laptop replacement.

Not surprisingly, the response to Surface Pro 3 too has been ho-hum.

So Microsoft is back to the same old game – Discount after discount.

This week the company announced a $150 discount off of a Surface Pro 3, Type Cover and Docking Station bundle (they must of course be purchased together).

Last week, it was a 10% education discount for teachers and students on Surface Pro 3 and Type Cover bundle.

And before that there was the $650 MacBook Air replacement discount.

Nothing sends the wrong message to potential customers than repeated discounts.

Worried that businesses may not view Surface Pro 3 as a lasting product line, Microsoft was compelled to put out a statement on October 9, 2014:

Businesses can buy with confidence. We are here to stay.

If you ask me, repeated discounts notwithstanding the Surface Pro 3 tablet will meet the same dire fate its predecessors did.

Oct 092014

Raghunandan YandamuriIf Churchill were alive, he’d sternly intone:

Now this is not the end of the Telugu’s nightmare. It is not even the beginning of the gulti’s end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning for the bidda.

Folks, a Pennsylvania jury has found Telugu bidda Raghunandan Yandamuri G U I L T Y of First Degree Murder in the brutal, senseless crime that took the lives of baby Saanvi Vennas and her 61-year-old grandmother Satyavathi Venna at their King of Prussia (PA) apartment complex on October 22, 2012 during a botched kidnapping for ransom bid.

Charges Against Raghunandan Yandamuri

The charges against Yandamuri included murder in the first degree, murder in the second degree, kidnapping, burglary and abuse of corpse. The jury found Yandamuri guilty on all counts including kidnapping, robbery and abuse of corpse.

With hands folded, Yandamuri was in the court room when the jury verdict was read out to a packed room. He showed no expression when the guilty verdict in First Degree Murder was read out.

Yandamuri’s mother, who’s flown in from India for the trial, was seated in the front row when the verdict was announced. Not surprisingly, she wept when the verdict of guilty in First Degree Murder was read out. Yandamuri was seen consoling her.

Meaning of Verdict

Being found guilty of First Degree Murder means Yandamuri is eligible for the death penalty that blood-thirsty Montgomery County prosecutors are seeking for him.

Whether Yandamuri gets the death penalty or spends the rest of his life in prison without chance of parole will be determined by jurors during the penalty phase.

Yandamuri’s mother will testify and provide mitigating evidence in a bid to save her son from the death penalty.

Since Yandamuri’s mother is leaving for India tomorrow, the penalty phase has already started in the courtroom.

The jury decision on the penalty phase could take a few days.

Gross Injustice – Unfair Verdict

The jury in the Yandamuri case has rendered an extremely unfair verdict.

If you ask me, Raghunandan Yandamuri is not guilty of First Degree Murder but guilty of Second Degree Murder.

The entire crime smacks of amateurism and does not seem pre-meditated. Continue reading »

Oct 082014

Shiva your daughter has been kidnapped. If you report this to cops your daughter will be cut into pieces and found dead. If you inform this to anyone you will find your daughter (sic) body parts thrown into your apartments….We want $50,000.00 by end of the day. Your wife Lata have (sic) to bring money to the location alone.
Excerpt from Telugu bidda Raghunandan Yandamuri’s ransom note to baby Saanvi Venna’s father Shiva Venna

Update: Injustice– Telugu Bidda Raghu Yandamuri Found Guilty of First Degree Murder

Raghunandan YandamuriA Pennsylvania jury of 12 Americans has started deliberations on the fate of Telugu bidda Raghunandan Yandamuri.

In a few hours, the jurors will first decide if the Telugu bidda is guilty and if they find him guilty then determine whether Yandamuri should be put to death for the crimes of kidnapping and killing baby Saanvi Venna and murdering her 61-year-old grandmother Satyavathi Venna in their King of Prussia apartment on October 22, 2012.

If Yandamuri is found guilty and sentenced to death, he will be the first Telugu (but unlikely to be the last) to face the death penalty in America. Yandamuri has recanted his video confession and denied committing the crimes.

Yandamuri’s trial has likely cost Pennsylvania taxpayers over a million dollars, a good reason to hike H1B and Green Card processing fees.

Telugu Bidda – Errors Galore

Were it not for a bunch of horrendous errors, Telugu bidda Yandamuri would not be in the dock at the Montgomery County courthouse today fighting a losing battle for his life.

Instead, he’d be like any other Telugu bidda in North America – the happy father of a couple of little biddas or biddis (my neologism of the day), gobbling Dum Biryani thrice a week, rejoicing in the antics of Allu Arjun, Ram Charan and other assorted simian actors and planning the launch of his own Dum Biryani franchise business.

Let’s examine the egregious mistakes Yandamuri made on the fateful Monday in October 2012, errors that have led him to his current plight:

1) Obviously, the paramount mistake Raghunandan Yandamuri made was deciding to commit the horrific crime of taking two lives. Nothing, nothing on this planet can justify the snuffing out of innocent lives. Every individual (young or old, rich or poor, Indian, American, Chinese or of any nationality) is entitled to the basic human rights of life and liberty.

2) Not putting sufficient planning into the crime was the second humongous blunder. If you ask me, Yandamuri seems to have put less thought into the horrific crimes than the time it takes to eat a plate of Dum Biryani. The chronicle of Yandamuri’s actions in committing the kidnapping, robbery and twin murders smacks of poor planning and hasty execution. Even villains in Allu Arjun comedies who yodel Champaestanu every 3.15-seconds do a superior job when they plot to steal, kidnap, plunder, kill or outrage the modesty of a rural belle.

3) How did Yandamuri think he’d be able to get away with the baby’s kidnapping when the grandmother had seen him a few days earlier at her son’s house. Even with his hoodie, the grandmother would have quickly recognized that the kidnapper was a Telugu by his accent. Once Yandamuri entered the apartment, not killing grandma was not an option at all. Yandamuri should have realized kidnapping the baby without murdering the grandma was an impossibility if he wanted to avoid capture. The moment Satyavathi Venna opened the apartment door,  her fate, the fate of her granddaughter and ultimately the fate of Raghunandan Yandamuri were all sealed. The chronicle of many deaths foretold!

4) Yandamuri erred in grossly underestimating the police. Whatever you may say about the Pennsylvania police (the idiots shoot each other occasionally), they’re extremely efficient when it comes to nabbing amateurs like Raghunandan Yandamuri.

5) Opening his mouth and blabbing away to the police is another Himalayan blunder on Yandamuri’s part. The blockhead not only put out a confession on video but even enacted it in what must rank as the second-most bizarre action by a Telugu ever (the most bizarre Telugu decision ever is obviously Allu Arjun and Ram Charan diving into the movie business as ‘actors’). Continue reading »

Oct 062014
[T]he age of mercy is over and …the day of Judgement has arrived. But as the Messiah is running late, we have to do his job for him.

The Son by Jo Nesbo, p.299

Crime Thriller - The Son
I hate it when Western writers don’t know the basics about India or its majority Hindu inhabitants.

A short while ago, I completed Norwegian writer Jo Nesbo’s latest crime thriller The Son.

And you know what? The stupid fuck Nesbo thinks just because a person wears a turban (or a head bandage resembling a turban), it makes him a Hindu.

Ditto with Whites in the U.S. – Ignoramuses who are clueless about the difference between Hindu and Hindi. No kidding.

To make it worse, the stupid White trash wear ignorance as a badge of honor when it should be a shameful scarlet letter on the forehead or a painful millstone round the neck. A few years back, a White trash savage killed an innocent Sikh because he was wearing a turban. In the White trash worldview, since Osama bin Laden also wore a turban, ergo the Sikh must be Osama’s sibling, buddy or compatriot.

Ignorance is an inexpiable offense where it can be easily fixed.

Violence Works

If there’s any certainty in an uncertain world, it’s that violence works. Continue reading »

Oct 042014

Bangari – Neeku rape ante ento thelusa?
Chitra – Repu? Repu shanivaram
Bangari – Ha ha ha, adhi kadhu….
Bangari – Nenu ninnu rape chesesanu annuko, pelli chesesthadu….Rape mana pelli chesesthadu…Nuuvu naa onka chooste untavu, Nenu neemedha padipothanu anthe

(English translation: The alcoholic asks his girlfriend if she knows what Rape is. Thinking he’s speaking of the Telugu word repu, she innocently declares that tomorrow is Saturday. Laughing, he responds that since his father is refusing to let them marry, they ought to do what Mohan Babu did in Rowdy Gari PellamI will rape you now, he declares. The petrified girl screams “No” and insists on convincing the family elders. Despite the scared girl’s vehement objections, Bangari removes his clothes, and starts tearing off the girl’s blouse in an attempt to rape her. The girl begins howling like a banshee.)

It’s the blessed fortune of Indians to be bestowed the opportunity to watch a classic like Govindudu Andarivadele.

Harbor no doubt. Post Govindudu Andarivadele, director Krishna Vamsi will be spoken of in the same hushed tones as Orson Welles, Elia Kazan, Alfred Hitchcock, Akira Kurosawa and other giants of cinema.

Thanks to the intervention of Lord Balaji,  Telugu films are now releasing in theatres across even small towns of America. If you ask me, this represents a new dawn for America and for NRIs like yours truly.

Where else but in a Telugu film can you see civilization in all its missing glory!

Rape vs Repu

After his father is denied a promotion at London Medical University, AbhiRam (Ram Charan) learns about his grandfather et al in India. In an effort to repair strained relations between his Nanna (father) and Tataiyya (grandfather), the youngster leaves London for India but not before jactitating with a bevy of White maidens. Of course, no sooner is the lad at his grandfather’s village than there’s a little girl in danger waiting to be saved by him.

From then, our AbhiRam is on one saving mission after another without respite – Saving Tataiyya, saving crazy Satya, saving tipsy Bangari, saving the dilapidated hospital, saving his younger sister from thugs (sotto voce: saving all except me from this ordeal).

Thus leads the road to cinematic history in this glorious Telugu film.

I could give you a million reasons to watch Govindudu Andarivadele but for reasons of space and time I’ll restrict myself to just 10:

1) Where else but in a fine Telugu family entertainer will our impressionable youngsters learn that in the face of parental disapproval the fastest way to marriage between cousins is rape

2) Where else but in a superb family entertainer can we watch Telugu girls from conservative rural families wearing itsy-bitsy frocks dancing away late into the night at Hyderabad clubs

3) Where else but in a sweet family entertainer can we spot drunken Telugu girls planting kisses on strangers in clubs

4) Where else but in a classic Telugu film does a pretty girl alone with her boyfriend think Rape means “repu” i.e. tomorrow Continue reading »

Oct 022014

To refresh my memory, I borrowed Knight and Day from our local library and (re)watched it yesterday.

Unimpressive as Knight and Day is, the Hollywood film is a quadrillion times superior to its ugly Indian spawn Bang Bang that released in U.S. and Indian theatres today.

Tom Cruise has a beguiling charm that Hrithik Roshan will never possess and Cameron Diaz is by orders of magnitude a better actress than the British zombie Katrina Kaif.

Above all, there is a wit and sharpness in the Hollywood film’s writing that the pathetic Bollywood mutation is sorely wanting in.

Only in an incredibly stupid Bollywood ‘action’ movie will an undercover army officer/spy Vickie/Rajveer/Jai (Hrithik Roshan) on a special mission to nab dreaded terrorist Omar Zafar and avenge his brother’s murder launch into a silly song Tu Meri…Mein Tera mere minutes after meeting a girl (Katrna Kaif) for the first time (the scene at the Shimla restaurant).

Oh, My Sugar Daddy

Among the many horrors I encountered in Bang Bang – and with mucho difficulty endured –  what got my goat the most was Katrina Kaif’s godawful performance.

The British import has not one acting cell in her body.

Showing not a single spark of life, Katrina rigormortised her way through the entire film. Continue reading »