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Enthiran Box Office – Unimpressive Average Gross

If Enthiran director S.Shankar had an iota of shame or self-respect, he’d place his head on the rail-road track at the Egmore station and let the Tambaram local train roll over it.

That’s the only way to ensure that incompetent dickheads like Shankar never raise their ‘head’ to unleash monstrosities like Enthiran on the hapless public ever again.

Folks, it boggles the mind that this billionaire producer Kalanidhi Moron of Sun Pictures entrusted Rs 150-crore or wateva-hundred crore to this imbecile Shankar for the movie that had the crew gallivanting to South America, North America, Asia and God knows where else.

Shows that in Tamil Nadu you can be a billionaire and still be soft in the head. ;)

Orgy of Stupidity
There are far too many problems with this piece of shit Enthiran making it a ceaseless affront to viewers.

Enthiran Movie Review Sponsored by Air-Savings.com

First, the story is not remotely engrossing. Remember, the same mis-directing bozo Shankar is also the irresponsible fella behind the story and screenplay.

Second, there’s little chemistry between the lead stars Rajnikanth and Aishwarya Rai, far less in fact than between Rajnikanth and Shriya Saran in Sivaji.

Third, neither Rajnikanth nor Aishwarya Rai, particularly the latter, deliver the acting goods.

Then, there’s the gratuitous, self-defecating comedy angle featuring Santhanam and Karunas. To earn their pay check, the duo agree to get kicked and slippered by the robot and teach it trash-talk.

All drivel all the time, if you ask us.

Finally, the music and picturization are both mediocre despite outings to locales such as Machu Picchu and provide little cheer.

Tis’ no exaggeration to say that a troupe of monkeys would provide better entertainment than the entire Enthiran menagerie.

Asinine, Half-Baked Story
The story, presumably well known by now, is simplistic and amateurish. Scientist Vaseegaran (a bearded, bespectacled Rajnikanth) creates a robot Chitti, which weirdly enough resembles him. Although ostensibly meant for the Indian Army, the robot in real life is busy rescuing naked girls from burning buildings, helping a medical student Sana (Aishwarya Rai) cheat in her exams, cooking omelets and protecting pretty girls in local trains from goons.

Since, Chitti, the robot, is found socially inadequate (it’s not smart enough to put a cloth on a nude, bathing girl before rescuing her from a horrific fire), Vaseegaran endows it with human emotions, which makes a bad situation worse. You see, the robot too falls in love with the pretty belle, a situation exploited by a rival scientist Bora (Danny Denzongpa of Bollywood), who is itching to make money by peddling the robot to terrorists. Tragically for the paying audience, each of the various angles (romance, the scientific, criminal, comic et al) is half-baked and comes across as bizarrely silly.

If Bollywood star Shahrukh Khan really slammed the script as half-baked (when Shankar approached him to play the lead role), he’s one smart dude. Really! Continue reading »

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Enthiran Box Office – Unimpressive Average Gross

Enthiran Review – Orgy of Stupidity

Emmathitanga
Ayyo, Emmathitanga

(they’ve cheated us,
God, they’ve cheated us).

A BIG disappointment. :(

A.R.Rahman and Shankar have taken Tamil music fans for a ride with the Endhiran album.

Endhiran’s music is nowhere in the class of Rahman’s Slumdog Millionaire or his earlier work in Roja, Bombay, Kadhalan, Dil Se et al.

Not even in the Sivaji class, we tell ya.

None of the songs linger in the mind.

If you’re looking for melody, you’ll have better luck with the echo of your singing under the shower.

Question for Y’all Schmucks
Since we listened to the Endhiran album, a doubt, a big doubt is nagging us, gnawing at our very soul.

Say, if music director A.R.Rahman farts, do folks in Tamil Nadu still consider it music?

Help us out with the above question, please. We beseech you. ;)

It boggles the mind that just a couple of years back this Rahman fella was the toast of the Oscar and Grammy crowd.

Oh, what a fall!

Endhiran on iTunes
The songs of the Rajinikanth-Aishwarya Rai starrer Endhiran have made it to iTunes this morning.

A short while ago, we purchased the Endhiran album for $2.99.

Instead of releasing it as a music album on iTunes, the Think Music folks have launched it as an application on Apple’s iTunes App Store.

Does this mean we can’t play the tracks on our PC?

The swines. :(

Seven Tracks
The Endhiran album on iTunes has seven tracks:

* Pudhiya Manidha (6.10 min) – A slow number, sounds as if the track is being sung by the robot. ;)

S.P.Balasubramaniam, A.R.Rahman and Khatija Rahman have sung this number, perhaps the best of the worst.

Given the Endhira Endhira refrain, is this track the title number?

Sample of the lyrics:

Pudhiya Manidha
Boomikku Vaa

Eggai vaarthu
Silicon serthu
Vayarutti uyirutti
Hard diskil ninaivutti
…..
Endhira
Endhira

* Kadhal Anukkal (5.44 min) -  A lifeless, boring track helmed by Vijay Prakash and Shreya Ghoshal.

No, the music didn’t strike a chord with us. Not one bit.

Just felt like hurling our new iPhone 4 at the wall in frustration.

Sample of the lyrics:

Kaadhal annukal
Udambil ethannai?
Neutron electron
un Neela kannil motham ethanai?
Unnai ninaithal
Thisukkal thorum aasai sinthanai
Haiyyo…

* Irumbile Oru Idhaiyam (5.14 m)  – Plain Rubbish.

Ayyo, ayyo, yet another sub-mediocre track courtesy of A.R.Rahman and Kash n Krissy.

Sample of the lyrics:

You want to seal my kiss
Boy you can’t touch this
Everybody..Hypnotic Hypnotic…
Super Sonic..
Super Star can’t can’t can’t get this

Irumbile oru irudhaiyam mulaikkudho
……
iRobo un Kadhil
I love you sollatta?

* Boom Boom Robot da (4.27 min) – Noise.

And more noise.

This Robot da number made us so angry we refer to it privately here as the Boom Boom Lava da Boom Boom Lava da song. ;)

Hey, when did yelling become synonymous with music. Will someone please enlighten us.

Yogi B, Kirthi Sagathia, Swetha are the singers.

Sample of the lyrics:

Boom Boom Robot da Robo da Roba da
Zoom Zoom Robot da Robo da Roba da

Isaac Asimovin
Velaiyo robo

Isaac Newtonin
Leelaiyo robo

Albert Einstein
Mulaiyo robo

He robo yo robo…..

* Arima Arima (5.18 min) Yet another forgettable track, begins with trumpets.

The singers are Hariharan and Sadhana Sargam.

And what’s with the howling of Endhira, Endhira toward the end. Awful

Sample of the lyrics:

Ivan perai sonnathan
Perumai sonnathum
Kadalum kadalum kai thattum
…..
Arima Arima – nano
Ayiram arima – unpol
…..
Endhira…! Endhira…!

* Kilimanjaro (5.30 min) Seriously, is this from an Oscar/Grammy award winner.

A most unimpressive track that has a tribal dance feel to it.

Javed Ali and Chinmayi are the singers.

Sample of the lyrics:

Kilimanjaro – malai
Kanimanjaro – kanna
Kuzhimanjaro
Yaro yaro
…..
Mohanjadaro – unnil Nozhanjadaro

* Chitti Dance Showcase (2.43 min)- Just cacophony with Pradeep Vijay, Pravin Mani, Yogi B. at the helm.

Disappointing Album
Is the Endhiran album the stuff of legend?

No, No, No

Folks, the Endhiran album is a ripoff.

Don’t waste your time or money on this noxious gas expulsion from A.R.Rahman.

Show the Endhiran album your middle finger but make sure you hold your nose for the stench is unbearable. :(

Related Stories:
Enthiran Box Office – Unimpressive Average Gross
Enthiran Review – Orgy of Stupidity

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