Folks, the biggest annual event of the motion picture industry – the 83rd Academy Awards aka Oscars – is upon us.
Oscars are the granddaddy of movie awards.
You get an Oscar once and all your life and, hey, even on your epitaph, there’s the prefix Oscar-Winner attached to your name.
Can it get any better?
Can it get any f*cking better?
We’re askin ya.
Speak up now, putzheads!
Or forever hold your tongue.
The Oscar hosts this evening are Anne Hathaway and James Franco.
Hollywood legend and two-time Academy Award winner Tom ‘Forrest Gump’ Hanks will present the first award this evening.
Bollywood – Who Gives a F*ck?
Of course, Bollywood that cesspool of ugly movies is almost never represented at the Oscars.
Why would Indian movies even count?
After all, Bollywood and its smaller siblings Kollywood, Tollywood et al make some of the shittiest films on the planet.
Here are the nominations for Best Picture:
* “Black Swan” Mike Medavoy, Brian Oliver and Scott Franklin, Producers
* “The Fighter” David Hoberman, Todd Lieberman and Mark Wahlberg, Producers
* “Inception” Emma Thomas and Christopher Nolan, Producers
* “The Kids Are All Right” Gary Gilbert, Jeffrey Levy-Hinte and Celine Rattray, Producers
* “The King’s Speech” Iain Canning, Emile Sherman and Gareth Unwin, Producers
* “127 Hours” Christian Colson, Danny Boyle and John Smithson, Producers
* “The Social Network” Scott Rudin, Dana Brunetti, Michael De Luca and Ceán Chaffin, Producers
* “Toy Story 3” Darla K. Anderson, Producer
* “True Grit” Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers
* “Winter’s Bone” Anne Rosellini and Alix Madigan-Yorkin, Producers
We’re betting on The King’s Speech.
Now schmucks, sit back and enjoy the Oscars on ABC.