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Jun 272008
 



There should be a law to prevent the lobotomized idiots at Yash Raj Films from ever producing movies.

From the nincompoops who brought us trash like Tashan Aaja Nachle, Laaga Chunari Mein Daag, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom and Ta Ra Rum Pum, comes a new horror show – Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic oops Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic (the correct but inapt name of this piece of trash).

A depressingly bad movie, Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic has no raison d’etre except some dodos in Mumbai fancy that if the likes of Ram Gopal Varma can make bad movies, hey, they can make worse movies.

This movie falls way, way short of delivering on its cute title that we feel compelled to describe it in the rest of this review by the more apposite Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic.

Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic has little going for it.

It lacks a decent story.

It lacks decent acting.

It lacks decent music.

In short, Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic lacks all the essential ingredients of a nice Bollywood movie.

Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic is (mis)directed by Kunal Kohli, the same fella who brought us that fine entertainer Fanaa (Aamir Khan, Kajol) a few years back. But much can happen to the human brain in two years and Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic is ample evidence of the degradation of any and all artistic sensibilities in Kunal Kohli.

There has been some chatter on the web that Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic’s story is inspired from that old Disney classic Mary Poppins. Are you surprised?

Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic is the story of a cold businessman Ranbir Talwar (Saif Ali Khan), who lands in hot water when he crashes his BMW into Mrs and Mr.Wallia’s car, sending them off to their maker and orphaning their four young children.

And what do you think the judge trying the car accident case in the movie does? Our learned judge makes Ranbir Talwar the guardian of these four children. Be warned that such is the baloney you’ll have to endure should you make the mistake of watching this piece of trash.

Hey, if we were the Indian judiciary, we’d haul this crappy movie’s producer, director and actors into court for portraying the judiciary in such poor light.

If you think the sophomoric story is the only shortcoming in Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic, boy, oh boy, you are one big optimist.

The acting department is another arena where Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic falls flat on its face.

The movie’s dramatis personae Saif Ali Khan and Rani Mukerji are often touted as Bollywood actors par excellence (well, in the country of the blind the one-eyed man is …).

But in Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic neither Saif Ali Khan nor Rani Mukerji distinguish themselves in any way. Ditto for Rishi Kapoor in his brief role as God.

With top Hollywood stars like Will Smith, Russell Crowe, Nicolas Cage, Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington, Angelina Jollie et al, decent acting is taken for granted. Au contraire, with Bollywood top stars most of the time you’d be lucky to get even passable performances.

If a passionless, less-than-mediocre performance is what we got from our Bollywood stars like Saif Ali Khan or Rani Mukerji for the $7.50 we fork out for our movie tickets, we’d strongly recommend that fans give them the cold shoulder and stay away from such tripe until these actors learn to respect fans by delivering decent performances.

As for Saif Ali Khan’s clumsy attempts at dancing, it’s safe to say that chimps would do a more graceful job.

If you are looking for the chemistry that Saif Ali Khan and Rani Mukerji brought to Hum Tum (directed by Kunal Kohli, again), just fuhgeddaboutit. It just ain’t there in this movie.

The four kids in Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic are alright but do nothing extraordinary.

If you want to see fine performances by kids, you’ve got to watch foreign movies like Pan’s Labyrinth (Spanish), Blame it on Fidel (French), The Italian (Russian) and El Bola (Spanish).

For the most part, Indian kids in movies are a bunch of piglets with rare exceptions like Darsheel Safary (Taare Zameen Par) and Ayesha Kapoor (Black).

As for Ameesha Patel, her skimpy attire and all, would any sane person expect anything but a crappy performance from this nightmare?

Yikes, who in their right minds would ever cast a complete non-actress like Ameesha Patel. The lady is so hopelessly bad that she should not be allowed anywhere near the movie sets lest her incompetence rub off on her co-stars.

Ameesha can’t emote on screen. Period. And like Abhishek Bachchan, she shows no signs of improvement despite stalking the aisles and corridors of Bollywood for over eight years.

And pray what was the rationale for Ameesha’s poorly fleshed out role here? In any case, for much of the movie she looked as if she’d wandered off the animal park into the Yash Raj film sets.

Looking for decent music in Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic – you’d have better luck finding water in the cruel sands of the Sahara. None of the songs did anything for us.

For some time now, we’ve believed that the wannabe moviemakers at Yash Raj Films should stop tormenting Bollywood fans and take their torture act to some other arena, preferably to a retail level rather than wholesale.

Come on Yash Raj guys, it’s pack up time. Find a Jalebi stand in Jabalpur or how about a road-side barber shop in Bhagalpur. The movie business ain’t your cup of tea anymore (if ever it was).

While some may be tempted to fob off Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic on unsuspecting moviegoers as a nice movie for kids, we say No. It’s more of a kiddish attempt at moviemaking.

N.B: The print of Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic we watched at Phoenix Theater in the basement of Union Station in Washington DC was so horribly bad (blurred as if there were a camera shake) that we wondered if the fatuous bozos at Yash Raj had foisted a bad, low-resolution camcorder print on us to save money. Disgusting.

Related Stories:

Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic – Box Office Disaster

  11 Responses to “Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic – Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic”

  1. Hi.

    I watched all recent flicks, and i think Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic is a saving grace. As you see craps like Sarkar Raj, Tashan etc and Horror shows like Mere baap pehle aap on the screen :( i think this movie is a mile better. It’s a fair movie, and of course KIDS are not shown much in the show, so you can avoid calling them “Piglets”. Of course, nowhere near Fanaa or Humtum, but it’s the best so far i think. Atleast we can sit and watch it throughout and it does not drag tooooooo much like its only some couple and a quarter hours.

    NB: Please watch Mere Baap Pehle Aap, Via Darjeeling, Summer 2007, Aamir etc and you will have a different review. And i think it must be a hit, atleast as a Kids flick. All eyes on Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, and lets see whether atlast somebody brings some good story or not.

    My rating : 3.5/5
    Music : 4/5
    Saving Graces: Amisha, Rani+Saif, Music
    Cons: Direction,Ordinary story, Print Defects.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write above: Saving Graces: Amisha,
    The words Amisha and grace cannot be used in the same sentence

    2. As we mentioned at the end of our Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic – Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic review, print quality was terrible at the Union Station, Washington DC theater as well. Shame on Yash Raj Films.

  2. Hello!

    This is the most worst review for the movie “Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic.” I think you have gone sick.

    Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic is a “feel-good” movie. It is a type of movie which makes you feel happy throughout the movie. It doesn’t show “anything” rude. It is a movie which makes you smile and has spread its “Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic” throughout the movie. It is a movie which never feels you sad. That is why it is a “feel-good” movie.

    It is very easy for us to make fun of our Superstars. We always say that these filmstars are like God, they entertain us and make us feel good about them and on the other hand we people don’t support their movies. You should say atleast some good about a movie whichever you watch. Not all the movies are bad and I don’t think that any director will going to make a “flop” movie. Every movie is the Best, Every movie wants to entertain you,and, Every movie wants to give some message to you which is to be applied in our lives so that we can live our lives easily. Its up to you that how you judge any movie.

    So, In my opinion, the movie “Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic” is a very “feel-good” and has “Zyaada Pyaar Zyaada Magic” and is a “Hit” movie.

    Ratings: 5/5 = SuperHit!!!!!!

    Thank You!:-) KEEP SMILING…. DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY!!!!!

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write: You should say atleast some good about a movie whichever you watch.

    We are not in the charity business and neither is Bollywood. When we pay $7.50 (Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic) or $15 (Dasavatharam) or $25 (Sivaji), we want our money’s worth.

    2. You write: Every movie wants to give some message to you which is to be applied in our lives so that we can live our lives easily

    Are you for real? Only a complete retard would suggest we should lead our lives by the messages in Bollywood movies. Even God (as in Rishi Kapoor in TPTM) cannot save you.

  3. Not very convinced at the way some have chosen to judge this. I watched it and I thought there were ways to see it in a different light, a lighter sight.
    Isn’t it going way too overboard on something that was meant to just breeze through you when may just want to be thoughtless on a relaxed day, without having to tweeze every frame and nudge an opinion on every shot!
    With a name like “Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic” were your expectations not met, or should I say were you looking for yet another of those intellectually fulfilling treats!
    There probably is nothing refreshingly new about anything – the story.. the plot.. the emotions.. the characters, they were what I’ve seen all my life through bollywood cinema. But all due credit to everything that was good.
    Rani I think on her part was just her charming self, she can play a part with so much ease that it is so difficult to imagine “How difficult could this have been anyways” !Goes without saying, why she still rules so many hearts!! Saif had very little to emote, he did what he was meant to. And then there was Ameesha, I guess the YR banner wanted to give her more than a TRP song, so they gave her about 5-10 mins more to bare , dare ! Coming back to the movie, some Neat animations. Kunal has taken to this very interesting way of using animations to his characters and it blends nicely in those scenes he has chosen. But undoubtedly, the cynosure of all eyes were the ‘kids’. Not doing any of those things you may want to be ‘proud’ of them in a filmy world, but by just being the regular you-n-me kinds, and there was not one scene where I could pull a weak vein in their performance. Full credit to the director for just that! All in All, a no sense movie .. but that’s coz it was meant just to be so. So, If you are looking for entertainment, you may probably end up disappointed. But if you aren’t looking for ‘something’, you will definitely find something. The kids may definitely take to it for the most parts of it, and so will you if you can ‘not’ be an adult for that period of time. So, Go there and don’t try to use any of that upper compartment for those 2.5 hrs! Feel, Appreciate, Learn!

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write above: So, If you are looking for entertainment, you may probably end up disappointed. But if you aren’t looking for ‘something’, you will definitely find something.

    If we are not looking for “something” or if we are looking for “nothingness”, then we’ll probably take up Transcendental Meditation again.

    Consider us old fashioned, but when we go to a movie we’d like to be entertained. Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic – Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic is not in the least bit entertaining.

    Even the print quality was lousy (blurred).

    2. You write: There probably is nothing refreshingly new about anything – the story.. the plot.. the emotions.. the characters, they were what I’ve seen all my life through bollywood cinema.

    That is precisely why the title should be Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic

  4. Tell you what?!… Your coterie of self-appointed critics ought to be beheaded!… Yes, nothing less!… I would more than willingly do that myself at the first opportunity…
    Can’t you just take it as an entertainer?… It’s almost as though you are under a challenge which requires your finding faults at every juncture…
    You twitch your nose at the judge’s verdict… Well, I’d like to see you come up with a better judgement which encompasses everything puts all into place…
    You find the performances harrowing… This despite the fact that Ameesha, who you seem to have a more-than-required grudge against, makes an exit at the right time… Rani & Saif aren’t heralded as the Grand Pooh-bahs of Indian cinema for nothing, alright?!… You even get down to condemning all who admire them… India- the country of blind men, eh?… You know you can be sued on that account, don’t you?…
    Sprouting up ‘Au contraire’s, while comparing this one film to a dozen others across the globe at every point in this review (or is it?), serves to do nothing more than bandy the fact that you are a self-proclaimed know-it-all… While this may not be the most memorable of films, by no means does it have any shortcomings by way of delivery… Bollywood is in a league of its own, bringing in the most commendable of performances every once in a while… Etch this in your mind, once and for all…
    This illustrious house has leading actors turning down offers from others for having them aboard… Yes, Aditya Chopra’s taking the baton may have had a few hiccups… But its stature remains undeniably unshaken…
    As for the print quality, too bad you ran into a theatre which had just begun retrenching… Because the print quality at my place was flawless, to say the least…
    So, dear friends at Searchindia, if you have sworn to bury everything Indian- films, people, production houses, children (piglets, in your parlance) and I-dread-what-else (‘coz I’m not looking in any further into your site)- to a pit of invectives Coming to YashRaj, do NOT forget that theirs is the house which has given us the likes of Silsila, DDLJ, Veer Zaara, Chak De! India, et al… & ribaldry, you would do well to shut shop!…
    Net net, what you deserve is a kick on your a** for coming up with this piece of ‘Poora Garbage’!… If I can give you a Quid Pro Quo, “Come on Searchindia guys, it’s pack up time. Find a Jalebi stand in Jabalpur or how about a road-side barber shop in Bhagalpur. The reviewing business ain’t your cup of tea anymore (if ever it was)”…

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write above: Your coterie of self-appointed critics ought to be beheaded!… Yes, nothing less!… I would more than willingly do that myself at the first opportunity…

    Well, after all the idiots and the clowns we now have a potential Jihadi who wants to drop the Guillotine on us (behead us).

    Get in line, whacko. There are so many other people before you who want to do bad things to us because they don’t like our candid, unbiased reviews.

    2. You write: Can’t you just take it as an entertainer?…

    An entertainer – That precisely is what Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic – Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic is not.

    3. You find the performances harrowing… This despite the fact that Ameesha, who you seem to have a more-than-required grudge against, makes an exit at the right time

    Forget exit at the right time. As horrible an actress as Ameesha Patel should never have made an entrance at any time. She’s a negation of all things artistic. Not a single acting molecule in her body.

    4. Coming to YashRaj, do NOT forget that theirs is the house which has given us the likes of Silsila, DDLJ, Veer Zaara, Chak De! India, et al…

    Hitler was once a painter (a failed artist, actually). So, just because Hitler had an artistic background in his past, are we supposed to ignore his later monstrosities. Ditto with Yash Raj Films – their recent films Tashan, Aaja Nachle, Laaga Chunari Mein Daag, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom and Ta Ra Rum Pum, are nothing but ugly monstrosities that have deservedly been rejected by the audience. These movies are not free-shows (they charge Bollywood fans lotta $$ to see every film) but freak-shows.

    5. While this may not be the most memorable of films, by no means does it have any shortcomings by way of delivery…

    Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic – Zyada Garbage, Zero Magic is not only not the most memorable of Yash Raj Films…it’s also the most forgettable.

    6. Bollywood is in a league of its own, bringing in the most commendable of performances every once in a while…

    We’d have agreed with the latter half of your above sentence if you’d said very rarely instead of every once in a while.

    7. You write: If I can give you a Quid Pro Quo, “Come on Searchindia guys, it’s pack up time. Find a Jalebi stand in Jabalpur ….cup of tea anymore (if ever it was)”…

    Don’t you have an original bone in your body. Instead of just blindly copying us, you could have found something more amusing. Are you that imagination-constrained?

  5. Oh!… So now you are pissed off!… Not accepting comments anymore, are we?!…

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write above: So now you are pissed off!… Not accepting comments anymore, are we?!…

    Far from it. Your comment has been reproduced in full with our responses (please see previous comment). Since SearchIndia.com is based in the U.S., we operate on EST.

  6. I really appreciate your reviews.

    I think they’re very insightful and well written, and most of the time, I completely agree with the review.

    Well written reviews are so hard to find, especially for Bollywood movies.

    To all the haters on this board, you don’t have to agree with every single review.

    Instead of dissing the review/er, how about mentioning WHY you like the movie as opposed to why you hate the review/er.

  7. firstly, for those movie buffs who are looking for an unbiased, credible review kindly log on to //movies.nytimes.com/2008/06/28/movies/28magi.html. the reviewer quite aptly describes this movie as “kunal kohli’s enjoyable family comedy whose buoyancy and enthusiasm trumps it’s predictable story”. It then continues to highlight the message that tptm brought home, namely of strong family values and nation building.

    Quite surprisingly searchindia missed this simple yet very apt message…mmm i wonder why? could it be that searchindia has it’s head so far up hollywood’s tush that all it can see, hear and enjoy is the crap that it spues out in the name of good cinema, or could they be waiting for the hollywood version starring the pout princess angelina jolie and her blond sidekick mr pitt to go fighting across a kitchen with it’s over the top special effects, guns and amo in tow to try and get the message of ‘where there is prayer, there is hope’ across. maybe then the message will more apparent and believable because hollywood says so.

    as far as tptm’s ridicolous storyline (according to searchindia) where the judge awards custody to saif as far as punishment, instead of sending him to jail, is it not more ridiculous to believe that the usa along with their jewish buddies actually helped their muslim brothers in afghanistan to win the war over russia (charlie wilson’s war). you do not have to be a genius to realise this was hollywood spin at it’s worst. Maybe in the “reel’ world charlie wilson’s war may be a credible storyline, but in the real world i believe tptm is more believable. If bollywood is churning out ludicrous storylines (according to searchindia) how more ridiculous is an alchoholic, down and out super-hero (Hancock – starring will smith, charlise theron) hollywood’s latest attempt ‘cinematic genius’.

    Only someone who is less than human would refer to kids as “little piglets’, no matter what their race, colour or culture, they are still God’s creatures, and deserve to be treated as such. Only cowards attack the defenceless. i am positive that even the hollywood sycophants that searchindia rever as gods would agree. did will smith’s son in “Pursuit of Happiness’ remind searchindia of a little pigmy or are hollywood child actors beyond reproach. thankfully kk had the good sense to allow these kids to portray their reaction to their circumstances as kids, and not as adults. had he done so, we may have had to suffer 2 hours of a ‘haly joel osmond’ pained rendition of having something stuck in his butt (his expression and monolgou reminiscent of someone with haemroids).

    true to form saif and rani delivered an excellent performance which was well received by many..according to ny times ‘the ever charming rani…and commendable saif…’, as opposed to the ‘deadpan but still a bumbler’ review that ‘Get Smart” had received from ny times even though the may be cashing in at the box office. searchindia comments on tptm being a remake of disney’s mary poppins. surprisingly (or not)hollywood’s latest fare are remakes (Get smart – 1960’s hit series), and rehash of old storylines. angelina’s latest flick is reviewed as ‘a recycle of Fight Club meets The Matrix’ by the ny times. Maybe the hollywood well of great storlines has run dry.

    tptm overall is a feel good family entertainer, filled with great performances, special effects in measured doses at the right times, but most of all it touches the heart and leaves u with a clear message of ‘in the face of adversity never lose heart and faith in God..he does answer prayers.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write: tptm overall is a feel good family entertainer, filled with great performances blah blah blah.

    Feel good family entertainer? Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic is far from being any kind of entertainer.

    TPTM is a ham-handed attempt at movie-making. Forget demanding, whining, caviling folks like us. The disastrous box office response to this Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic suggests the crappy movie has failed to strike a chord with the general audience too, whether in India or outside.

    2. You write: most of all it touches the heart and leaves u with a clear message of ‘in the face of adversity never lose heart and faith in God..he does answer prayers

    The above line is unadulterated crap. If God answers prayers, he/she/it sure has some serious ear problems…How do you explain AIDS, Tsunamis and our blithering idiot prez George W. Bush

    3. We agree with you here – bad storylines are not restricted to Bollywood or Kollywood films. Sure, Hollywood is no stranger to mediocre movies.

    4. You write above: Only someone who is less than human would refer to kids as “little piglets’, no matter what their race, colour or culture, they are still God’s creatures, and deserve to be treated as such. Only cowards attack the defenceless. i am positive that even the hollywood sycophants that searchindia rever as gods would agree.

    We stand by our description. Indian kids are mostly unwatchable garbage on screen (notable exceptions like Darsheel Safary in Taare Zameen Par or Ayesha Kapoor in Black). As we said in the above review, you have to watch kids perform in movies like Pan’s Labyrinth (Spanish), Blame it on Fidel (French), The Italian (Russian), Central Station (Portuguese) and El Bola (Spanish) to realize the enormous difference between our piglets and those angels where acting is concerned.

    Contrary to your hyperventilating baloney, our description of Indian kids in Bollywood or Kollywood movies as piglets has nothing to do with their race, colour or culture, whether they are still God’s creatures, and deserve to be treated as such or whether we are cowards attacking the defenceless. It’s in the context of acting.

    Most Indian kid actors in Bollywood/Kollywood movies are alien to the notion of acting. Period.

    In any case, very few countries treat kids as badly as India. Urban or rural, poor kids in India are nothing but objects of exploitation.

    5. You write: did will smith’s son in “Pursuit of Happiness’ remind searchindia of a little pigmy

    No, because the kid Jaden Christopher Syre Smith (Will Smith’s son in real life) in Pursuit of Happyness did a pretty darn good job (better than most of our Bollywood veterans).

  8. I agree with your review, terrible film.

    And it pains me to say it, as I’ve been a fan of Rani from her Ghulam days.

    I was really hoping this film would work for her as she’s had a number of consecutive flops to her name from the past year. Maybe it’s due to her constant allegiance to Yash Raj studios which limit her to particular candy floss films or maybe she’s just losing her touch.

    I hope it’s not the latter.

  9. Please don’t beat around the bush. Answer my question.

    You say: Coming to YashRaj, do NOT forget that theirs is the house which has given us the likes of Silsila, DDLJ, Veer Zaara, Chak De! India, et al…

    Just look back what you wrote about Chak de. I am eager to know that did chak de feel like an odd piece f work. It was quite ok.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Starting from Deewar (Remember Amitabh Bachchan’s famous dialog Mera paas car hai, bungalow hai, bank balance hai, tera paas kya hai…Shashi Kapoor responds, Mera pas Maa hai), we’ve seen 95% of the movies Yash Chopra directed and produced.

    We liked Deewar, Fanaa, DDLJ, Dil To Pagal Hai (particularly the title song…watching/listening it now on YouTube as we type). But we don’t know if we’ll like them if we watch them again.

    The thing is we watch so many movies now – French, English, Russian, Portuguese, Chinese, even Hungarian on occasion that our expectation has increased tremendously from Bollywood & Kollywood movies.

    As for Chak De India, the theme was interesting but the overall execution was pedestrian.

    Yash Chopra’s recent films like Ta Ra Rum Pum, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom and Tashan were disgusting.

  10. Stop giving negative reviews on Yashraj.. One more flop and they shall suicide.. LOL..

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Yash Raj is already brain-dead as you can see by the quality of their recent movies.

  11. For those who comment that thoda pyaar thoda magic is a good movie and should be appreciated, my advice is-please start thinking beyond the boundaries of the illusions bollywood portrays and accept that it doles out trash.

    Ok, agreed that you all have your own personal opinions, but that doesn’t mean you can abuse the reviewer for having his, which is the right one in my opinion.

    What else can be said about a movie in which a judge, approaching the absolute pinnacle of stupidity, makes the killer of the children’s parents their new guardian? And what about rishi kapoors stupid,impulsive behaviour as god?

    People, get real…TPTM is utter f**king bullshit and you’ve gotta accept that.

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