Incredible India? Shining India? – Ha Ha Ha

Incredible India Ad on NYC BusIncredible India Ad on NYC Bus

* A PWD Engineer M.K.Gupta in Uttar Pradesh is brutally beaten up by local politicians for not giving funds for the birthday bash of the state’s Maharani and tortured with electric shocks (according to the autopsy report). Yes, his wife is now a widow.

* Bal Thackeray, the leader of a national political party, welcomes the rise of Hindu terrorists. Yes, he’s a free man blabbering away to glory.

* Most policemen in Mumbai have never fired a gun in their lives, not even during their initiation training. Yes, 195 were killed and some 327 injured in the recent Mumbai terrorist attack.

* India has the maximum number of chronically hungry people in the world, according to the Food and Agriculture Organization. For the 2003-2005 period, India had 230.5 million undernourished people. That’s nearly 31 million more than in the 1995-97 period. Yes, there are folks building billion dollar homes in Mumbai.

* Some 15,000 policemen out of a total of 60,000 cops in the Indian capital Delhi are busy guarding VIPs like politicians, ministers, bureaucrats and judges. (source: DNA). Yes, there’s little security for the common man and tourists.

* Nine terrorists who got off the boat near Gateway of India got to work immediately and held Mumbai hostage for 60 hours. Yes, no immigration clearances were required.

* Rape of women has increased 31% between 2003 and 2007 to 20,737. Yes, many women feel unsafe.

* Many Bollywood movies are outright stolen. Yes, the directors/producers deny with a straight face that it’s a lift.

* Thousands of Muslims are slaughtered in Gujarat. Yes, Narendra Modi is still Chief Minister of Gujarat.

* Minorities (Muslims & Christians) live in an atmosphere of terror in BJP-ruled states like Gujarat and parts of Karnataka. Yes, the BJP is a respected national party beloved of the Hindu communal elements.

* Protests are held by various clowns in Tamil Nadu a.k.a. Eelam in tacit support of the LTTE. Yes, LTTE leader Prabhakaran still eludes arrest for the murder of former Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi.

* Several thousands are kidnapped every year in Bihar. Yes, we have a government in Bihar.

*  Last year, a chain-snatching suspect in Bhagalpur was tied to a motorbike and dragged around town. Yes, he was only a suspect but not convicted of the alleged crime.

* Bangalore has been reeling from power-cuts for decades. Yes, Bangalore is India’s Silicon Valley.

Did we hear anyone say Incredible India?

Did we hear anyone say India has arrived on the world stage?

Ha ha ha.

24 Responses to "Incredible India? Shining India? – Ha Ha Ha"

  1. neo   December 26, 2008 at 10:45 pm

    you have forgotten to add one other thing.according to a times of india report more than 70% NSG commando’s only job is to guard the VIP and their families.It is considered a kind of status symbol to be guarded by NSG. And NSG did not even have a ready helicopter to get to affected areas during 26/11 when the rule clearly says that NSG should have a helicopter available 24*7. Responds:

    But we read recently (see last paragraph) that the Home Ministry is scaling down use of NSG for VIP security.

    Do you have the link to the Times of India piece you cite?

  2. aditya_k   December 27, 2008 at 3:30 am

    ‘incredible india’ is just a tourism campaign slogan….of course, its well known that tourism is down in india…..i read your article about it too….off topic but you mentioned china there….I think there were lot of tourists because of the olympics hype…and I haven’t heard anyone claim that India has arrived on the world stage in terms of social or economic developments (what an irony that the country which is home to the richest family in the world has a fifth of its population sleeping hungry every night)….in terms of scientific developments, yes we have….ours was the most precisely carried out moon mission ever…the nuclear deal with the U.S. was another major achievement in world politics….perhaps the fact that India cannot be ignored anymore when major military powers of the world are considered gives people incentive to say that India has arrived on world stage…. Responds:

    There is a growing feeling among the Indian middle class (at least until the Mumbai terrorist attack & economic slowdown) that India has arrived because of a few malls, a few call centers, a few highways & a few foreign cars plying down the roads.

    But infrastructure is still in shambles & economic inequality is increasing – until these two are addressed (and they won’t be in the near term at least) prospects for India are very limited. India appears to be shining only if you compare it to Pakistan or Bangladesh.

  3. aditya_k   December 29, 2008 at 1:52 am

    yes….what you say about the ‘India shining’ feeling among middle class is true….they have no idea about the world outside….but its not just pakistan or bangladesh…

    I do believe that India is poised for a leap in its infrastructure (, power(the nuclear deal becomes significant here)…. of course….the recession is going to affect the country but nevertheless,if we manage to elect a decent bunch of MPs(a big ‘if’ there!!),I don’t see why we should not be able to solve our problems… Responds:

    God, you are providing a link to population growth (11 Indian cities among world’s fastest growing) to argue that India is poised for a leap in infrastructure. That’s what folks call a non sequitur.

    India’s population is growing because we breed like mosquitoes or rabbits.

    Infrastructure in India is abysmal.

  4. joeantony   December 29, 2008 at 3:02 am

    ‘Incredible India’ – you misunderstood it…
    Incredible in communal violances, incredibe in rapes, incredible in state sponsored terrorism, incredible in hunger, incredible in discrimination, incredible in dirty politics, incredible in poverty, incredible in security flaws… list goes.

    In 90s India changed itself, commited lot of mistakes in the name of religion (dec 6), in the name of change in economic/commerce policies (gatt etc).. as a result it has produced fake growth that rapidly made few people rich and left the rest 95% poorer than before.

    What we have now in India is a bunch of cities with all facilities / infra / pubs / star hotels and the rest of india is just Africa. When bombs exploded in streets / markets / temples / mosques, day after day, month after month nobody worried, but when two star hotels were attacked whole of mumbai roared… meaning the value of lives in mumbai star hotels should mean more that a commoner dead in earlier blast.

    India is now moving in a incredibly wrong way. I dont know how the hell it welcomes tourists to such a terror state. In places like goa, foreign girls are targetted by mafia, India is really a unsafe place for tourists. Responds:

    You write above: India is now moving in a incredibly wrong way

    Very true. But we think it’s always been that way, at least since August 1947. Got worse with Indira Gandhi and since then it’s completely out of control.

  5. beni   December 29, 2008 at 12:10 pm

    I, for one, can’t wait to go back.

    I would much rather live in my country than one where 95% of the population seem to be trying to fit into cliches. And that includes Indian born H1 visa turned GC turned Citizen coolie (wannabe) snobs. Responds:

    You still around?

    We were so hopeful that you would be lost at sea or drifting in space forever or kidnapped by the fakir babas at Kumbh Mela. Guess Santa failed to deliver on our wishes this Christmas. Sob, sob.

  6. beni   December 29, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    i hate you too.

    but yes, i am back again to share my valuable knowledge & feedback. Responds:

    You write above: i am back again to share my valuable knowledge

    Normal people try to share what they have.

  7. Skjoldbjærg   December 29, 2008 at 5:07 pm

    Beni, if you want to go back, why are you still here??


  8. beni   December 29, 2008 at 6:31 pm

    @ Skjoldbjærg

    I might have a billion diff. reasons for why i need to stay here, none of which make me a hypocrite or are any of your business.

  9. Skjoldbjærg   December 29, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    hmm.. a snarling, stuck-in-the-US grandma.. i feel sorry for you.. may you get freedom from whatever is holding you back.. soon..

    While I am on the topic of being Stuck , i watched a movie called “Stuck”(from redbox – 545DZ9). Turned out to be ok as a movie and was thrilled to see what i saw (Mena’s boobs) a few years back in “American Beauty”, one of the finest movies of all time.

    Tonight I am going to watch the highly praised (both by film critics and Uncle Scoopy) “Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead”.

  10. the gora   December 30, 2008 at 3:25 am


    Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead was an absolute ripper! Ashame it didn’t get more publicity as that was one of the best movies of the year.

    American Beauty was great at the time, but sooner than later will fall into a category kind of like Ordinary People. That won Best Picture in 1980, beating out Raging Bull, but who the hell has ever heard of it now. American Beauty was good, but I don’t think people are rushing the movie racks to buy it when so many other classics have stood the test of time. Another one like that is Shakespeare in Love, which beat Saving Private Ryan for Best Picture. I haven’t even thought of watching Shakespeare in Love again since the day I left the theater, but Saving Private Ryan I’ve seen another 15 or 20 times since because it resonates so much more.

  11. SRINIVAS   December 30, 2008 at 6:22 am

    Incredible India? Shining India? – Ha Ha Ha

    What exactly is the problem here – India Shining or not shining …which one do you want ??

    You have get out of that negativity which is inside you …i am yet to see good postive posts here …I am sure there are many things good things happening ….

    Let’s take Chandrayaan as an example … Tata Nano ….etc Responds:

    India is not shining nor will it shine anytime in the near future

    We have neglected the basics – like basic education, basic infrastructure like electricity & public transport…so any change will be very incremental.

    For example, look at the approx literacy rates of India & China:
    India – 61% now. In 1951, it was 18%
    China – 91% now. In 1949 it was 20%

    As Ramachandra Guha writes in India after Gandhi:

    The inability – some would say unwillingness – to educate all or even most of its citizens counted as independent India’s greatest failure. (P.693)

    People are starving to death & we are proud of Tata Nano & Chandrayan.

  12. Skjoldbjærg   December 30, 2008 at 9:50 am

    Gora, yeah.. got to watch BTDKYD (in fact, I watched few of the scenes — no not the Tomei topless scenes.. I’ll revisit them too.. she is so hot even though she is 43, but it was already too late last night — to understand the expressions better).

    American Beauty cannot be clubbed with Shakespeare in Love.. Shakespeare beating Ryan was a travesty. I am sure there that SI wouldn’t have watched any of these movies (They were in outer space in the 90s).. Let’s ask them to evaluate.

    I was probably swayed by Mena’s scene (more than the Thora scene), but I loved Kevin Spacey’s character too.. Was as complicated as the Hoffman character in “Devil”.. but Hawke’s character easily beats out the second best character (Benning) in American Beauty.

    Of the 2007 movies, I wouldn’t rate “There will be blood” as highly as you did because of DDLewis, the over-actor.. Atonement felt like a chick-flick.. I slept midway, and never revisited it.. but my wife liked it. Juno was alright.. but surely Devil was a better movie than those two and Michael Clayton..
    NCFOM was riveting, so I am ok with it getting the Oscar.. too bad that Devil was not even in the race.

    As far as I remember American Beauty didn’t beat out any all-time classics. It is rated #39 on imdb.. so it is apparently much more popular than the movies in discussion here..

    Didn’t know that Ordinary People beat out Raging Bull.. similar to Sam Bowie beating out Michael Jordan in the 1984 draft.. Maybe Ordinary People wasn’t as bad as Sam Bowie. Responds:

    1. You write above: I am sure there that SI wouldn’t have watched any of these movies (They were in outer space in the 90s).. Let’s ask them to evaluate.

    As the sly fox used to say in the old comic strip series, just you wait.

    2. NCFOM was well handled although we didn’t like what eventually happens to Josh Brolin’s character Llewelyn Moss.

  13. aditya_k   December 30, 2008 at 11:27 am

    SI, I have a doubt….why did you post this article? all the points you wrote were already mentioned and discussed upon in your previous articles…..any specific reason or just that you had loads of free time? Responds:

    1. Yes, we may have posted them separately at different times.

    But sometimes the impact of the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

    2. As we look at varied developments in different parts of the country, we strongly believe this notion of Incredible India, Shining India, Mera Bharat Mahan, India has arrived is a complete lie.

    To drive home that point to those deluded optimists who see visions of utopia just around the corner, we took together some varied elements of modern India and put that up as a separate post.

  14. Skjoldbjærg   December 30, 2008 at 12:10 pm

    corrections to my previous post..
    “got to watch BTDKYD” should read “got to watch BTDKYD again”
    and “watched few of the scenes” should read “watched few of the scenes again”
    Oh, the perils of not reviewing the post before hitting the Submit

    I did re-watch the Tomei scenes once again this morning.. her breasts are very expressive.. well directed scene ;D

  15. the gora   December 30, 2008 at 4:25 pm


    Ah yes, how can you take Mena Suvari over Thora Birch?! Sure Mena has a better face, but if you put a bag over their heads, Thora’s fun bags are so much more fun. BTDNYD, didn’t waste any time. If you were late walking into the theater it was a bloody shame. I think the director was teaching all guys a lesson there, “Don’t ever be late to a movie because you never know what you might be missing out on.” Can’t believe Tomei is 43!

    Sam Bowie, what a legend. At least Hakeem Olajuwon was the first pick though. Imagine if the Blazers passed on two Hall of Famers back to back? Not to mention Charles Barkley and John Stockton who were also taken in the same year and three members of the original Dream Team. Sam Bowie, absolute legend!

    As for the part where SI escaped from a Ted Kaczynski shack in time for the 21st century and so has not seen a vast array of movies from the 20th century (SI’s prehistoric era) it would pain SI to discover that Koi… Mil Gaya is actually just another stolen concept from “thieving Bollywood swine directors.” Add E.T. and Close Encounters of the Third Kind to your Netflix queue. Rakesh Roshan took about 49% from each movie and then added 1% mentally retarded Hrithik Roshan and 1% songs to make it “original.” Responds:

    1. Yes, we were aware of Koi Mil Gaya’s ET heritage. A few years back, we wrote: Hrithik Roshan dazzles in this ET-meets-Superman Bollywood movie

    Our ire at the thieving Bollywood/Kollywood swines has increased in proportion to our discovery of the purloined films.

    2. Has anyone made a movie about Ted ‘Unabomber’ Kaczynski yet?

    3. You asked yesterday: I have heard a lot about Mathrubhoomi and am curious to find a copy of it somewhere

    Mathrubhoomi is available at Netflix. Just finished watching it.

  16. the gora   December 30, 2008 at 6:00 pm

    SI, add Close Encounters of the Third Kind to your list. It’s a classic from the 70s by Stephen Spielberg with Richard Dreyfuss in the lead role. You’ll also be able to see what was poached by Roshan, such as the whole “5-note ‘Om'” on the super computer in addition to how the spaceship finally comes out of the clouds and how many other things.

    Maybe there was a Lifetime or USA Original movie about the Unabomber, but no Hollywood version. Maybe you could produce your own and hold auditions among your biggest fans (beni, IAmAnIdiot, etc.) for the lead role. Responds:

    1. You write: Maybe there was a Lifetime or USA Original movie about the Unabomber, but no Hollywood version. Maybe you could produce your own and hold auditions among your biggest fans…for the lead role

    For the lead role? Not to worry, there are many whacko contenders among our readers/commenters who are whackier than the Unabomber.

    2. Will add Close Encounters of the Third Kind to our growing Netflix queue tonight.

  17. Skjoldbjærg   December 30, 2008 at 6:40 pm

    great idea, gora, we can probably use this same bag..

    SI would probably put a tantex banian over Mena and cover her up.. the gentleman&lady that they are!

  18. Skjoldbjærg   December 30, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    Beni and Ted are both from Chicago.. If we put a hoodie-and-sunglass on Beni, we got our Unabomber.

  19. shuaib68   December 31, 2008 at 7:35 am

    Who is this Skjoldbjærg ?
    Is he my friend a.k.a. Gandhiji, TREY, porari….(previously)?

  20. Skjoldbjærg   December 31, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    Yeah Shuaib.. My perversity gave me away, I guess..

  21. neo   January 14, 2009 at 7:15 am

    what you have said is right agree.

    but i want to say something else. George bush won the 2004 election after the war on iraq. in the iraq war thousands of people died because of one person’s insanity. despite all the protests that american people did they still voted bush to power after he told that maybe democrats would increase taxes. now in 2008 elections obama who is a brilliant man won because of the economic crisis that threatened american people’s money. shows that americans are one of the most greedy people on earth caring more about money rather than people’s lives.

    it has always been this way even in the two world wars. your comment Responds:

    That our president is a blithering idiot is no secret. And most people who voted for Republicans are complete dodos.

    Now after all the disasters on Wall Street and the Iraq/Afghanistan fiascos, people can’t wait for January 20 to come soon enough.

    It’s true that in America most people are caught in the net of Big breasts, Big screen LCD/Plasma TVs, Big houses, Big SUVs….

    But when it comes to greed, Indians are not second to anyone.

    As we have said often, Indians are the most hypocritical swines of them all.

    What Indians say and what Indians do are two different things. Whether it’s women, stealing, law

    At least, in the U.S. most people today have food, clothing & shelter. Surely, over 50% in India do not have at least one of the three necessities – food, clothing & shelter. It’s partly because of skewed income distribution & the insatiable rapacity of some people in India.

  22. Skjoldbjærg   January 14, 2009 at 9:42 am

    Movies like may dissuade the sexual predators a bit.. Responds:

    Your comment reminds us of an old joke about a very distrustful Tamil politician a.k.a Thalaivar.

    Before heading to the U.S. for medical treatment, our Thalaivar inserts a sharp blade in the p***y of his pretty girlfriend. He wants to test how faithful his girlfriend and his aides are to him.

    When Thalaivar returns from the U.S., none of his ministers/close aides are at the airport to receive him except one of his close aides.

    So the perplexed Thalaivar asks the police commissioner – why is there only one person at the airport to receive me…What happened to the others .

    The cop whispers in Thalaivar’s ears: Sir, the others are all in hospital because their P**lu got cut.

    Thalaivar is very angry that his girlfriend and all his aides except one have betrayed him.

    Thalaivar goes toward the only close aide to meet him at the airport, hugs him, thanks him profusely and tells him: Ask me anything you want. I will not say no. The others were disloyal to me and see what happened to them – their P**lu got sliced and they are all suffering in hospital. But I am happy to have at least one loyal friend in this world.

    Upon hearing this, the close aide looks at Thalaivar blankly, then hangs his head down and does not say anything.

    Thalaivar repeats his offer: Ask me anything, my faithful friend. I will not say no. The only aide to come to the airport still does not respond.

    Then, Thalaivar gets angry and shouts at his closest aide: What happened to you? Don’t you have a tongue…why can’t you say something in response to my generous offer?

    Then the close aide looks at Thalaivar with a mournful expression, starts weeping, opens his mouth, tries desperately to say something but can only respond: Be Be Bey Bey Be Bay….

    Now, Thalaivar has a horrified expression on his face.

  23. neo   January 14, 2009 at 9:52 am

    as i said before you are right about the indians

  24. Skjoldbjærg   January 14, 2009 at 12:51 pm

    I have heard a different version of this joke.. but this one is better..

    Teeth is on instant play and has got good reviews.. Will definitely watch it someday. The heroine Weixler is very pretty. Responds:

    The following excerpt from Wiki profile of Teeth:

    Critical reception

    The film received mostly positive reviews from critics. The review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes reported that 81% of critics gave the film positive reviews, based on 59 reviews — with the consensus that the film is “smart, original, and horrifically funny.”[2] Metacritic reported the film had an average score of 57 out of 100, based on 22 reviews.[3]


    Reaction from the 2007 Sundance Film Festival was positive, with Cinematical critic Scott Weinberg saying, “Teeth is precisely the sort of genre movie that we need to see more of.”[4] Adrienne Shelly Foundation artistic director Mystelle Brabbée declared it “one of the most talked-about films at the Sundance Film Festival this year”.[5]

    Jess Weixler won the Special Jury Prize for Dramatic Performance (and tied with Tamara Podemski from the film Four Sheets to the Wind).

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