God Exists: Trashy Kurbaan Trashed at Box Office

Folks, God Exists. God Exists!

No kidding.

In the name of Allah, the Holy Father and Lord Ram, we swear we saw it/him/her today in the form of Kurbaan’s awful box office numbers.

Now, if this isn’t God’s work tell us what is.

Karan Johar’s pathetic piece of shit Kurbaan has fared pitifully at the U.S. box office.

Horror of horrors, Kurbaan has done worse than New York, that other terrorist-centered Bollywood movie.

One of the most high-profile movies to come out of the Bollywood cesspool in recent months, Kurbaan had a surfeit of publicity thanks to the movie’s principal stars shedding their clothes.

But even all the semi-nudity couldn’t fool the people who quickly saw through the con-game of Kurbaan’s producer (Karan Johar), director (Renzil D’Silva) and cast (Saifeena) -  they were peddling dross dressed up as gold.

In its opening weekend November 20-22, 2009 at the U.S. box office, Kurbaan, which released in 83 theatres in the U.S., grossed a measly $403,678.

Guys, Kurbaan’s opening weekend numbers are less than New York, less than Dostana, less than Chandni Chowk to China, less than Delhi 6 and just one-fourth of Love Aaj Kal.

Of course, it’s to be expected. Kareena Kapoor is a jonah, the kiss of death for a movie.

Utterly worthless when clothed, Kareena Kapoor is insufferable when clotheless. What a disgusting actress.

As for Saif Ali Khan, the bozo went through the movie with one-expression pasted to his face.

Trash begets trash, right na.

Kurbaan came in No-20 at the box office and had an average gross of $4,864. By the way, the average gross for Kurbaan was less than the average gross for junk like Bhoothnath, Krazzy4, Heroes, Dil Bole Hadippa et al.

Hell, even Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, featuring two kids Imran khan and Genelia D’Souza’ had an average gross of $6,218.

Here’s how Kurbaan fared at the U.S. box office compared to a few other movies that Karan Johar has been involved with. Compared to Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna and Kal Ho Naa Ho, Kurbaan is a disaster. Now, see for yourself:

Make no mistake.

Karan Johar is just another overrated Bollywood pansy. And it shows in the poor quality of his movies.

For all those who haven’t seen Kurbaan yet, stay away from this compost-heap if you have anything at all in your head.

Consider yourself blessed that you didn’t have to endure this nonsense on the big screen.

As SearchIndia.com wrote in the review of this garbage a.k.a. Kurbaan:

The Short of It
Take the worst elements of Bollywood movies like Fanaa and New York, deduct all the thrills from Hollywood films like Arlington Road, throw in that anorexic, worthless actress Kareena Kapoor, add that one-expression-all-through-the-movie Saif Ali Khan and bring in the constipated maid-fucker Om Puri, voila, there you have this vile trash a.k.a. Kurbaan.

Hey, if there’s any remotely credible act of terrorism in Kurbaan, it’s what Karan Johar (credited with this sophomoric story) and the lobotomized cast of this junk unleash on unsuspecting members of the audience.

An Adharma Production
Peppered with cliched dialogs (did you think of me last night, are you afraid of your feelings for me), infested with badass actors (foremost among them Kareena Kapoor) and littered with illogical elements (far too many, hello, has anyone heard of 911), Kurbaan is an unforgivable, insufferable act of adharma (injustice).

Read SearchIndia.com’s full review of Kurbaan here.

8 Responses to "God Exists: Trashy Kurbaan Trashed at Box Office"

  1. mutt   November 23, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    Thank God!

    On an other note, aren’t movies like Kurbaan & New York subtly glamorizing terrorism?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You still alive? We thought the Ukrainian Mafia had kidnapped you. 😉

    2. You write: aren’t movies like Kurbaan & New York subtly glamorizing terrorism?

    Glamor and revolutionary violence/terrorism have often walked arm in arm.

    Look at Che Guevara, Fidel et al.

    People still wear Che T-Shirt and make movies on Che’s life, 42-years after his death.

  2. dantheman   November 24, 2009 at 2:52 am

    Kareena Kapoor is the most overrated actress in Bollywood. She is the queen of flops of the decade. Abjr is the male version of flops of the decade. Kareena hardly has any hits to her credit.

    Every year she has had a major disaster this decade:

    1. Refugee 2000
    2. Yaadien and Asoka: 2001
    3. Mujhse Dosti Karogi and Jeena Sifr Mere Liye 2002
    4. Main Prem Ki Deewani Hoon, Talash, Khushi2003
    5. Yuva, Fida, and Dev: 2004
    6. Bewafa and Kyon Ki 2005
    7. Chup Chup Ke and Omkara 2006 (Thank God She did not talk in chup chup ke)
    8. 2007 (only year she did not have a flop) jab we met.
    9. Tashan and roadside romeo 2008
    10. kambaqt ishq, main aur mrs khaana (crap film), and now kurbaan 2009.

    With the exception of Jab We Met which was a low budget movie and the fact that it is on indian channels every other week all other movies are not all that.

    She got desparate and started getting semi naked in Tashan and Kambaqaat Ishq (Worst movie of the year 2009

    Kareena only got Kurbaan because she started kissing Karan Johar’s a$$ after he dumped her in kal ho na hoo because she wanted more money for that film. But that film was a hit and got Preity all the awards. That bothered Kareena so now she wanted to star in Karan Johnar’s production films.

    [Deleted because it’s personal stuff that may or may not be true plus has no relevance to Kurbaan or its box office performance]

    Kareena may command a lot of money but she is hardly a top box office lady.

    Though none of the Bollywood actresses can really act (Dia Mirza, the Arora sisters, Priyanka, Katrina (she only gets roles because she [deleted]), etc Katrina is going to get the top slot this year.

    As for Kareena she should be kissing Aamir Khan’s feet for willing to work with her in 3 idiots. i honestly feel this one will tank too and only because of Kareena

  3. Jyoti Ramakrishnan   November 24, 2009 at 8:58 am

    I guess the much controversial and publicized makeout scenes didn’t help to rake the moolah at the box office. Saw Twilight yesterday, another pathetic movie after the rage that it made 140 million.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write: I guess the much controversial and publicized makeout scenes didn’t help to rake the moolah at the box office

    Not sure if you saw Kurbaan but ‘those scenes’ gave us as much rise as a Nirupa Roy Hindi film or a Manorama Tamil movie. Plain rubbish.

    Much ado about nothing.

    2. You write: Saw Twilight yesterday, another pathetic movie

    We skipped it.

    According to the Wall Street Journal, the “film’s box office take was the third-largest on record for a movie in its opening weekend.” At least, the producers (Summit Entertainment) are happy.

  4. Seeeker   November 24, 2009 at 10:05 am

    medytrance here. I’m unable to log in as medytrance. Have I been blocked?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Not just blocked but exterminated.

    After all, you made it clear the other day that our blog was comprised of ‘substantial…filth’ (your words).

    We have no issues with criticism…Scores of readers disagree with us all the time and we’re fine with that but we don’t want people here going off the rails and making wild charges that are patently unjustifiable.

    We don’t want you here. Ever. Comprende.

    Scoot now.

  5. shadowfax_arbit   November 24, 2009 at 11:43 am


    “Kareena only got Kurbaan because she started kissing Karan Johar’s a$$….personal stuff….she should be kissing Aamir Khan’s feet for willing to work with her in 3 idiots”

    Whats all this?? Sure Raj Thackeray is your hero. Or are you from MNS?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write: Kareena only got Kurbaan because she started kissing Karan Johar’s a$$….personal stuff..

    Not personal stuff.

    A$$-kissing insidiously crept into the English language a few decades back and is now (almost) part of the lexicon.

    The popular meaning is that one kisses someone’s a$$ (suck up to someone) in hopes of inveigling something for oneself.

    You have A$$-kissers at the workplace, A$$-kissers at college, A$$-kissers in the media, A$$-kissers in politics…well, these days you have A$$-kissers everywhere. 😉

    So in the context that dantheman wrote, if Kareena sucked up to Karan (a.k.a kissed Karan’s a$$) it’s not personal stuff if it was in pursuit of landing a meaty role in his next film. The latter part of dantheman’s sentence that you quoted above i.e. she should be kissing Aamir Khan’s feet for willing to work with her in 3 idiots also doesn’t seem to be amiss.

    BTW, ‘suck’ is not to be taken in the literal sense here. 😉

    2. Not sure what the Raj Thackeray/MNS connection is all about? Aamir Khan is a Muslim…Karan went and apologized to Raj Thackeray for the Bombay reference in Wake Up Sid….but still they all seem like discrete acts.

  6. boopalanj   November 24, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    In my opinion, medytrance should not have been exterminated. Medytrance just seemed to have conveyed his/her/its opinion, (probably with wrong choice of words).

    After all, there are many out who called SI a lot worse.

    As I have been telling, for beginners your language is a shock, while it is not the case for SCPs [SI certified Professionals] 😉

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write above: medytrance should not have been exterminated

    No loss on either side. 😉

    2. You write: After all, there are many out who called SI a lot worse

    After 18 months of being at the receiving end of unceasing abuse (started with Billa), our patience is understandably wearing thin.

  7. pippa   November 24, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    b’cos i am a busy person with no time to waste. I am like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill. I may be in several cities in one day..OK?

    Also, the Che thing is just ridiculous!! I don’t even think 75% of people who have his face on their t-shirts realize who he is.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. The mystique, the glamor of Che lingers. That’s why he’s on the T-Shirts.

    2. You write: I don’t even think 75% of people who have his face on their t-shirts realize who he is

    Don’t overestimate your capabilities and underestimate that of others.

  8. sganeshkumar1989   November 26, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    //SCPs [SI certified Professionals]//
    ROFL! 😀

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