Feb 242010
For SI blog readers VJCool, KD36939 and Gandhiji
Guess what the postman brought us today.
Yes, the fella delivered the seductive nymph Jessica of Biel fame. 
Ah, if only. If only.
We got the DVD of the Oscar-nominated The Illusionist today.
Besides Jessica Biel, The Illusionist also features Ed Norton and Paul Giamatti in key roles.
It’s 9:47PM and we just finished watching this beautiful 110-minute film.
Not About Biel
Schmucks, the charm of this film is not in Jessica Biel, attractive though she is.
No, not at all.
But more in Ed Norton, Paul Giamatti and the alluring, ‘magical’ story that quickly draws you in its tight embrace.
Like The Prestige, Illusionist also has magic and love as its raisons d’être.
But they are handled far better in the Illusionist.
Set in Vienna at the beginning of the 20th century, Illusionist is the story of a magician Eisenheim (the grownup version is played by Ed Norton) who finds his childhood sweetheart the Duchess Sophie von Teschen (grownup version played by Jessica Biel) 15 years after they were forcibly separated. Continue reading »
Folks, we’ve said this a million times.
Indian restaurants run by our desis in the U.S. are obscenely filthy, more like public toilets in India.
Now one of these shit-holes has earned the dubious distinction of being forcibly closed by the authorities.
The New York City Health Department recently closed Madras Mahal on Lexington Avenue (Murray Hill) in Manhattan after finding serious sanitary violations at this Indian vegetarian restaurant.
Serial Hygiene Offender: Stay Away
Madras Mahal located at 104 Lexington Avenue failed two inspections conducted by the New York City Health Department in a row – the first conducted on December 29, 2009 (31 violation points) and the second on February 9, 2010 (61 violation points).
Here are some of the violations at Madras Mahal found in the February 9 inspection by the NYC health inspectors:
* Evidence of, or live mice in facility’s food and/or non-food areas
* Facility not vermin proof. Harborage or conditions conducive to vermin infestation exist.
* Food not protected from potential source of contamination during storage, preparation, transportation, display or service.
* Raw, cooked or prepared food is adulterated, contaminated, cross-contaminated and/ or not discarded in accordance with HACCP plan.
Folks, Madras Mahal is not merely a filthy Indian restaurant. It’s also a lousy Indian restaurant. Continue reading »
Feb 232010
We should just believe in hope and trust and love and that’s all is going to get us through to everything.
- Bollywood starlet Sonam Kapoor at a candlelight vigil near German Bakery for the victims of the February 13 blast. Source: DNA
Statutory Warning: All Religions are Equally Stupid
One of the striking things about the Quran is the flexibility of God (Allah) in some minor respects and an unyielding inflexibility in other major aspects.
Take for instance pork.
Many of us are led to believe that God (Allah) imposes strict prohibitions in dietary matters, particularly in consuming pig’s meat and that under no circumstance must a Muslim eat pork.
Not so. Not so.
Unlike the semi-literate mullahs or the illiterate Muslims who tend to favor a blanket ban on pork, Allah is flexible when it comes to consuming pork.
No, we are not making this bit up about Allah’s flexibility on porcine edibles.
Schmucks, it’s right there in the Quran:
You are forbidden to eat carrion; blood; pig’s meat; any animal over which any name other than God’s has been invoked; any animal strangled, or victim of a violent blow or fall, or gored or savaged by a beast of prey….but if any of you is forced by hunger to eat forbidden food, with no intention of doing wrong, then God is most forgiving and merciful. (emphasis added, Sura 5, Aya 3)
Lest there be lingering doubt in the devout, God (Allah) repeats this point in Sura 6:
So [believers] eat any [animal] over which God’s name has been pronounced, if you believe in His revelations. Why should you not eat such animals when God has already fully explained what He has forbidden you, except when forced by hunger? (Sura 6, Aya 118 and 119)
So My Name is Khan, next time you find yourself very hungry and in a place where Pork Fried Rice is the only dish on the menu, go right ahead and dig into your swine with gusto.
After all, Allah is forgiving and merciful when it comes to pork.
Creating Discord
Alas, when it comes to Christians or Jews, the well of Allah’s compassion dries up and his inflexible attitude rears up.
And as long as the Quran continues to be the vade mecum of Muslims everywhere, the enmity between Islam and those of other faiths will endure because of verses like the below one:
You who believe, do not take the Jews and Christians as allies; they are allies only to each other. Anyone who takes them as an ally becomes one of them — God does not guide such wrongdoers– yet you [Prophet] will see the perverse at heart rushing to them for protection, saying, ‘We are afraid fortune may turn against us.’ But God may well bring about a triumph or some other event of His own making: then they will rue the secrets they harboured in their hearts, (Sura 5 Aya 51& 52)
Again and again, the Quran strives to disparage Christians and Jews and exalt the status of Allah. Continue reading »
Feb 212010
It seems even Allah has deserted former superstar, the Pakistan loving chutiya Shahrukh Khan.
Shahrukh’s My Name is Khan has collapsed 63% in the second weekend at the U.S. box office, according to estimates put out Sunday by boxofficemojo.
Compared to his nemesis Aamir Khan’s 3 Idiots, Shahrukh Khan’s My Name is Khan has had a lousy second weekend in the U.S.
Really lousy, folks.
My Name is Khan’s total gross in the second weekend tumbled 63% to $720,000 versus a drop of a mere 9.2% to $ 1.49 million for 3 Idiots.
The average per theatre gross for My Name is Khan also came in significantly lower at $5,760 compared to $11,322 for 3 Idiots.
The below table says it all:
Related Stories:
My Name is Khan Review – My Name is SI and this Film is Not the Stuff of Legend
In New 4-day Estimates, MNIK Sails Past 3 Idiots
Will Allah’s Followers Save My Name is Khan?
Who’s the Bigger Chutia?
3 Idiots Review – Total Garbage
Feb 202010
Statutory Warning: All Religions are Equally Stupid
Heaven forbid that Islam should ever extend its sway beyond the religion’s present borders and take the reins of power in new territories.
After reading six Suras and nearly a 100 pages of the Quran, it’s safe to predict that should Islam spread its tentacles to more countries the prospect of freedom would immensely diminish and man’s life on this planet turn infinitely bleaker.
For Allah is the spiritual father of Joseph Stalin.
An uncompromising dictator with scant regard, nay a maniacal disdain, for those who march to the beat of a different drummer.
Christianity, Hinduism and the other religions are no less stupid than Islam but they are less intolerant of disbelievers (to use a favorite term of Allah in the Quran).
Time and again, Allah shouts his contempt for those not receptive to the clarion call of Islam:
Those who reject faith and deny Our revelations will inhabit the blazing fire. (Sura 5, Aya 10)
Blazing fire of a modern-day Lubyanka?
While the skeptics may sneer at our dire prognostications, all we implore of them is turn to the countries where Islam’s writ runs large today. Public worship of any religion except Islam is explicitly forbidden under threat of dire punishment, women are forced to veil their faces, the Mullahs lord over the sheep and the ‘revelations’ of ‘God’ to an illiterate in the seventh century is the supreme arbiter of life and liberty.
If that doesn’t give you the creeps, we don’t know what else will. Continue reading »
Feb 192010
(Suggested by SI blog reader StrYngLad74)
My, my, how time flies.
Is it already a month since our last episode of Incredible India, those only-in-India reports.
Bet all you schmucks are exhibiting serious withdrawal symptoms over the lengthy hiatus.
Here we go, folks.
Homosexuality is as old as the hills and even the soporific Indian courts have lately, albeit belatedly, legalized it.
But Dilli door hai, na.
And no one bothered to tell the troglodytes at Aligarh Muslim University, located at Aligarh (not far from Delhi).
Recently, the Aligarh Muslim University suspended a senior faculty member after paid hands at a TV channel barged into his house and filmed him having consensual sex with a rickshaw puller.
No, we don’t know who was buggering whom. Please don’t ask.
Here’s an excerpt from the TOI story
An Aligarh Muslim University professor, on the verge of retirement, was suspended after some students set up cameras to catch him having consensual sex with a rickshaw-puller in his campus home, and sent the video film to university authorities. Dr Shrinivas Ramchandra Siras, reader and chairman of Modern Indian Languages at AMU, now says he won’t challenge his suspension and would voluntarily leave….
“Siras was captured on camera having sex with a rickshaw-puller. It’s a scandal that no institution of repute can overlook. Therefore he was placed under suspension on February 9 by the order of the VC, Prof P K Abdul Azis,” said AMU public relations officer Rahat Abrar.
The India Today account of the incident is even more disturbing and a must-read, gays oops guys. Continue reading »
Hooray, God exists.
Ram, Allah, Christ or wateva the name of that guy in the sky is exists.
Shahrukh Khan oops Pakistan loving Chutiya’s latest round of garbage My Name is Khan seems to be having a hard time in India.
South Asian Muslims may be boosting ticket sales for My Name is Khan in the U.S. because of its anti-American story-line but reports from India paint a grim picture.
Here’s a sample of Indian reports on the movie’s struggle to get the crowds into the theatres:
* NDTV:
After a bumper opening, Shah Rukh Khan starrer My Name Is Khan is being cold-shouldered by the audience here. Cinema hall owners blame the “non-entertaining content” of the movie.
“There is a huge fall in My Name Is Khan ticket sales. While it was just 30 percent Wednesday, it is only 20 percent Thursday. The film is not being appreciated because of the content,” Amit Awasthi, manager (programming and operations) of Spice Cinemas, told IANS.
* Rediff:
My Name is Khan opened with a bang at the box office, earning a whopping Rs 85 crores (US $18m), but it saw a drop in business from Monday as the word of the mouth was not good enough to sustain the film. Continue reading »
In the most high and palmy state of Rome,
A little ere the mightiest Julius fell,
The graves stood tenantless and the sheeted dead
Did squeak and glibber in the Roman streets;- Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 1
If the Indian penal code contained a provision for stringing up rotten film-makers and their stars, Leader (mis)director Sekhar Kammula and his menagerie comprising Rana Daggupati, Richa Gangopadhyay and Priya Anand would be standing at the gallows today with the noose round their necks waiting for the hangman to pull the stool from under their legs.
That folks churn out such garbage and have the temerity to call it a film bodes some grave tragedy to our land, a state not unlike ancient Rome in the days preceding Caesar’s death.
Leader is our third Sekhar Kammula movie (Godavari and Happy Days were the earlier slights).
Some movie directors get better with each film.
But with this Kammula clown (responsible for story, screenplay, dialog and direction of this Leader), evolution works in reverse.
This was one Telugu film where the audience was openly laughing, not out of joy but a sneering laugh at the shit on the screen.
The story – if you dare call this sleeping pill a story – in a nutshell is about a young NRI from America stepping into his late father’s shoes as the Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh after the old man is killed in a landmine blast.
If like us you think that’s hardly an entertaining topic for a film, the rest of the movie is worse.
A total bore of how our hero Arjun (Rana Daggupati) hangs on to his chair even as we get crude caricatures of the corruption of our politicians.
Nagarjuna School, eh?
Rana Daggupati, the hero of Leader, is a distinguished alumnus of the Nagarjuna School of Acting.
Unless you are a complete schmuck, you know that means if acting slapped Rana on the face he wouldn’t recognize it. Continue reading »
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