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Apr 292010

(via iPhone)

Thank God for the intermission.

Sick, boring shit after 1-hour 3-minutes.

It’s 9.25PM, here on the East Coast.

Folks, the first half of Sura is total garbage.

Our eponymous hero Sura is a fisherman. There’s a minister, who is also a nasty character.

The paths of Sura and the minister have yet to cross.

We’ve gone past two songs, both not in the least entertaining.

The story so far is non- existent.

Vadivelu is irritating, not one bit funny. His antics are beyond stupid.

Doubt the second half can salvage the film.

We’re back home and will have the full review up soon.

God, the second half of Sura was as bad if not worse.

Related Stories:
Sura Review – Colossus of Nonsense
Vettaikaran Review – Punnaku Pandi & the Dysentery Before Sura
Thirupaachi Review – Punnaku Pandi and the Capture of Bin Laden
Madurey Review – Punnaku Pandi and the ‘Negro Problem’
Sivakasi Review – Punnaku Pandi and the art of Nonsense
Kuruvi Review – Nonstop Nonsense
Villu Review – Revoltingly Bad

Watching Sura

 Tamil Movies  Comments Off
Apr 292010

(via iPhone)

After a 20-minute Hamletian dithering of ‘To go or not to go,’ we finally took the Sura plunge.

And so here we’re at a crappy theater on the East Coast waiting for Tamil film to start.

The print just arrived in a van.

So it should take another 30-45 minutes for the movie to start.

There’s hardly anyone at the theater. Not a good sign.

By the way, Telugu film Simha is also releasingy today.

Sura, as all ye schmucks know, is Tamil film star Vijay’s 50th film.

Besides Vijay, Sura features Tammanah Bhatia and Vadivelu.

S.P.Rajkumar is the director.

Let’s hope we get a lotta bang for our $11.

Folks, we’ll have the Sura review up later tonight.


People are starting to walk in.

There are 27 people inside the hall.

Apr 292010

If Tamil film star Vijay had any shame at all, he’d lash himself till he bleeds out of every pore of his dark-skinned body and then nail his frame to a wooden metal cross.

That would be a fitting Prayaschit (atonement) for the Judas act of loosening his bowels and raining this dysentery a.k.a. Vettaikaran upon Tamil movie fans.

Depraved Shit Before Sura
Say what you will, we’re convinced Vijay a.k.a. Punnaku Pandi is the worthy inheritor of Marquis de Sade‘s mantle since Vettaikaran is a lengthy piece of sadistic nonsense from the get-go with nary a moment’s pause.

The nonsense in Vettaikaran starts right at the outset when we see our 36-year-old ‘young general’ Vijay playing the part of a 12th standard school student ‘Police Ravi’ and flogging asinine dialogs like:

Nanga aella ninaicha mudipom, mudikaerradhathan naennapom.

Guess, we’ve to be grateful Vijay was not cast in the role of a baby hanging on to mama’s teats!

And such stupid shit is only the beginning of this mind-blowing garbage where ‘Police Ravi’ models himself upon a super-cop and ‘encounter’ specialist Devaraj.

Our hero ‘Police Ravi’ soon graduates to sillier dialogs like anniki sonnadhu innikum, inniki sonnadhuthan yennikum and joins a college in the big city while driving an auto like his idol Devaraj in his younger days.

When his goal of becoming an police officer like Devaraj is thwarted by the villain Vedanayagam (Salim Ghouse) and his cartoon of a son Chellam (Sai Kumar), the insanity on the screen increases manifold till it becomes unbearable.

Sanjay Shinde as the corrupt policeman Kattaboman adds to the misery quotient with his simian antics.

The fight scenes in Vettaikaran are intolerable, even by Vijay’s lowly standards or lack of it. Continue reading »

Apr 292010

If you concur with us that the success of a movie reflects the citizenry, then the South Indian state Tamil Nadu is a lost cause.

Beyond redemption!

You see, SI blog readers who should know inform us that the 2005 Tamil film Thirupaachi featuring Vijay alias Punnaku Pandi met with a stupendous reception at the box office.

Peerless Trash
Excuse us if we’re late for the festivities marking the ‘1,800th day‘ celebrations party of Thirupaachi and couldn’t share in the heady excitement.

After all, we finished watching this movie just a few moments ago.

In our not-so-humble opinion, Thirupaachi is peerless trash. An asinine story made worse by mediocre acting, commonplace music, bizarre stunts and ridiculous dances.

We’re still reeling in shock and awe at the carnage ‘Young General’ Vijay inflicts on the screen, both figuratively and literally.

Seldom do movie-goers get to come face to face with such a stellar cast of characters weirdos:

* Patasu Baalu – A thug played by Pasupathy.

Guns and sickles are so passe for our Patasu Baalu (Cracker Baalu). His modus op is to string a long necklace of firecrackers around the neck of his unfortunate victims and set fire to the crackers. When he’s not behaving like he just had a nasty encounter with a pack of rabid dogs, you can find Patasu mumbling:

Indhu Baalu pesamatan, Patasu thaan pesum (This Baalu won’t speak, only the firecrackers will).

Patasu also gave us the cheeky headline for this trash with his timeless, sui generis taunt to the hero that while

even Bin Laden may be captured by the Americans but his hideout is forever safe from all prying eyes. Continue reading »