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We have enjoyed many of Tom Cruise’s films in the past.

Movies like Rain Man, Collateral, The Firm, A Few Good Men, Mission Impossible et al have afforded us mucho pleasure.

So, notwithstanding the generally poor or tepid reviews we went ahead, albeit with tempered expectations, to Cruise’s new film Knight and Day.

Verdict
There were about 30-35 people for the opening show at a theater on the East Coast.

Not a good omen considering it was the opening day.

Alas, this was one movie we could have done without.

That, folks, is our considered verdict after watching this 106-minute film.

While not a hellishly ugly film like most of our Bollywood or Kollywood movies, Knight and Day was nevertheless a big disappointment.

Featuring Tom Cruise as the CIA agent Roy Miller on the run and Cameron Diaz in the female lead, Knight and Day belongs to the broad genre of what you may call action-comedies.

Set up as the fall guy by one of his colleagues and hunted both by the government and the bad guys (arms dealers in this instance), Roy Miller has in possession a precious thing that many people are after.

You see, Miller is safeguarding a powerful invention by a genius high-school kid that everyone would like to get their hands on – a small, palm-sized battery that contains enough energy to light up a city.

Aha, the solution to the world’s energy crisis.

Uh oh, not so fast.

First, the shooting and the chases.

The movie is one endless chase or shooting – on the road, on the train, on the plane with no respite.

With the endless chases and the trigger-happy characters, there’s hardly any time to weave a coherent story around the broad plot we outlined above.

The movie itself never packs the frenetic energy of the Bourne films although a la the Bourne films we quickly hop from country to country – in this case, from Boston to Austria to Spain to Germany. Continue reading »

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Cool.

We love it. Love it.

Wonderful News
We were at a movie (Tom Cruise’s new film Knight and Day) and just returned home.

And by golly, we realized a few moments ago that Obama had fired General Stanley McChrystal, our top military guy in Afghanistan, for conduct unbecoming a commander.

Very good.

Gen.McChrystal deserved it.

Tired of seeing every two-bit skunk behave in a disrespectful manner to our President and his administration.

Just in case any of you schmucks didn’t know this, McChrystal spoke disparagingly of top administration officials in an interview with Rolling Stone magazine.

McChrystal will be succeeded by his boss Gen. David Petraeus, head of the U.S. Central Command, and the man behind the troop surge in Iraq.

Here’s a brief statement by General Stanley McChrystal:

This morning the President accepted my resignation as Commander of U.S. and NATO Coalition Forces in Afghanistan. I strongly support the President’s strategy in Afghanistan and am deeply committed to our coalition forces, our partner nations, and the Afghan people. It was out of respect for this commitment — and a desire to see the mission succeed — that I tendered my resignation.

It has been my privilege and honor to lead our nation’s finest.

All that said, we think the U.S. has no hope in Afghanistan.

But there are few good exit options left here.

Looks like we’re staring at another defeat unless a miracle happens between now and Obama’s July 2011 deadline to start pulling out of Afghanistan.

Related Stories:
The Rolling Stone Interview that Cost Stanley McChrystal his job
.

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By golly, who would have thought that!

It does seem like iPads are flying off the shelves faster than sanitary pads. ;)

Hell, three million units sold in 80 days for a device that starts at a whopping $500 is not bad.

Not bad at all.

And we thought the iPad wouldn’t fly.

Well, truth be said we’re still skeptical of the iPad’s long-term prospects.

Time will tell.

What’s Driving Sales
We’re inclined to believe a lot of Apple fan-boys are buying the iPad for use as a net-book kind of device.

You see, the Windows users have had the netbook for well over a year now but until the iPad came along the Mac aficionados had nothing comparable.

Apple said developers had created over 11,000 new apps for iPad that take advantage of its Multi-Touch user interface, large screen and high-quality graphics.

Yes, iPad should run most of the 225,000 apps on the App Store, including apps already purchased for the iPhone or iPod touch.

As many some of you know by now, iPad users can browse the web, read and send email, enjoy and share photos, watch HD videos, listen to music, play games and read ebooks via the device.

A mere 0.5 inches thin and weighing just 1.5 pounds, the iPad is supposed to deliver up to 10 hours of battery life.

Temptation
Pssst, we’re getting tempted by the 32GB iPad WiFi version that goes for $600. Continue reading »

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The funeral drums are beating.

Ah, the dirge. Unbearable, the harsh sounds of the wails.

Folks, the UK box office numbers for the Vikram-Aishwarya Rai starrer Raavanan (Tamil) are out and they are ugly.

Mon dieu, Raavanan’s box office numbers are worse than that that of the infernal Kuruvi:

Related Stories:
Raavanan Review – Tamil Shit Better than Hindi Shit
Raavan Box Office: Disaster, Act of God, Pathetic
Raavan Review – Beastly Nonsense

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Raavan Review – Beastly Nonsense

Folks, Raavan has turned out to be a big disaster in the UK too.

Hell, this is no surprise.

Indeed, no surprise at all.

After all, it’s an Abhishek Bachchan movie.

Here, the below table tells the sorry box office tale of Raavan in UK:

Related Stories:
Raavan Review – Beastly Nonsense
Raavan Box Office: Disaster, Act of God, Pathetic
Raavanan Review – Tamil Shit Better than Hindi Shit

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C’est magnifique!

If you live in the U.S. and in the vicinity of where the English movie Winter’s Bone is playing and still don’t care to see it, then may you be stricken with the plague and suffer unendurable pain.

Seriously, Winter’s Bone is that good a movie.

Hungering for Relief
Desperate to rid our soul of the putrid remnants of the Bollywood bozo Abhishek Bachchan’s nightmare Raavan, we acutely hungered craved for some relief.

And we found our Nirvana Saturday at Ritz 5 Philadelphia in Winter’s Bone.

Folks, Winter’s Bone is not just a good picture.

Au contraire, it’s a magnificent, jaw-dropping, awesome picture.

The kinda movie that wholesomely restores your faith in movies as an art form and as a medium of entertainment.

And you don’t have to salvage a shopworn epic like Ramayan for a story.

Are you listening, Mani Ratnam?

Mani Ratnam are You f*cking listening?

There were close to 50 people for the 2:50PM show of Winter’s Bone and as far as we can remember that was a record for any indie movie we’ve watched at the Ritz 5.

Adapted from the 2006 novel of the same name by Daniel Woodrell and directed adeptly by Debra Granick, Winter’s Bone is straight off a piece of life in modern-day America.

That is, life just a few miles outside of the big cities.

For all you dolts who still believe in the fiction that America is the richest country in the world and where the streets are paved with gold, let’s tell you that there are millions, both Whites and Blacks, leading miserable, hardscrabble lives, sometimes a mere few miles beyond the city limits.

And that is the picture Winter’s Bone presents us, and so well indeed – a realistic slice of rural life in America, of families living in such poverty where they still hunt squirrels for food, where there’s no money to even take care of the family horse and where joining the Army is often the sole hope.

Ree Dolly Suffers a Brutal Beating

The setting is the Ozark mountains in Missouri (don’t ask, we haven’t been there) where, in parts, cooking meth (the process of making an illegal narcotic drug) is a way of life, a way out of poverty or a way of crime.

Which way, you ask? Well, that depends on your perspective and the prism through which you view the world.

Wall of Resistance
When young Ree Dolly’s (Jennifer Lawrence) father Jessup Dolly fails to appear at a court hearing after posting their home as the bail-bond following an arrest, the bond agent comes calling with the unwelcome news that the family will lose the house unless Jessup can be found.

And found soon, else the family will have nowhere to live. Continue reading »

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Raavanan UK Box Office – Ayyo, Worse than Kuruvi

Raavan UK Box Office – Disaster in UK Too

Updated:
Hey, Abhishek, look for a rope and a sturdy rafter, will ya.

Pronto.

Abhishek, you’ve become unendurable.

Folks, we’ve said it a million times.

This Bollywood nincompoop Abhishek Bachchan is not worth the piece of paper on which a movie-ticket is printed.

Hopelessly incompetent as an actor, the Bollywood moron’s only claims to fame are Amitabh Bachchan, Jaya Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai.

Without the three, the jackass is less than a zero.

Less than a cipher.

Seeing him on the screen is worse than passage through the Hades.

Infinitely worse.

Boy, Happy Hours Started Early Here
It’s only around noon here.

But, hell, we’re soaked.

To the brim.

Lots of Gilbey’s Gin, some Seltzer Water and a few spoons of lime juice. And the Flushing Ganesh Temple mixture on the side.

And Ennio Morricone’s For a Few Dollars More is playing on an endless loop on the home theater. Ah, the whistles, the whistles, slowly rising to a crescendo. And then the whistles again. If we die today, we’ll have no complaints.

Shows you how happy we are. :)

Thrilled Euphoric that disgraceful little twit Abhishek Bachchan has gotten his comeuppance, the box-office comeuppance that is.

Never has a more worthless star befouled the screen.

Never ever. Sick Shit.

Bollywood Celebration – Choli Ke Peeche, Kya Hai?
Kya Hai? Kya Hai? ;)

It’s Diwali today. Diwali, for sure.

What if our fireworks day July 4 is still two weeks away.

It’s still Diwali today because the Bollywood Raavan is a f*cking disaster at the box office.

Celebrate. Celebrate.

Because that piece of shit Raavan is a f*cking disaster at the box office.

A disaster, did you hear us?

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Raavan
, Abhishek’s latest affliction is a frigging disaster.

The skunk’s latest piece of shit, that nightmare which opened on 119 theaters here in the U.S., has been rejected, yes, roundly rejected by desis here.

Raavan has earned a piffling piddling $480,703 at the box office in the opening weekend, according to Boxofficemojo.

And the average gross per theater works out to a shameful (define shame, Abhishek) $4,040.

Lower than Genelia D’Souza’s Jaane Tu Yaa Jaane Na.

Feeling suicidal, are you, Abhishek?

Of course, that overrated South Indian chimp Mani Ratnam bears substantial responsibility for this disaster.

Guys, here are the opening weekend box office numbers for Raavan vis-a-vis some prominent recent Bollywood movies:

Ah, the whistles from Ennio Morricone’s For a Few Dollars More again.

Again. Endlessly, playing in our mind. Continue reading »

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A man’s moral character is a more delicate thing than a woman’s reputation of chastity. A slip or two may possibly be forgiven her, and her character may be clarified by subsequent and continued good conduct: but a man’s moral character once tainted is irreparably destroyed.
- Lord Chesterfield in Letters to His Son, P.364

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Raavanan UK Box Office – Ayyo, Worse than Kuruvi

Raavan Box Office: Disaster, Act of God, Pathetic

The sole solace of Raavanan (Tamil) is that it’s a shade better than the Hindi version starring that Bollywood shaitan Abhishek Bachchan.

Sure, it’s the same stupid, boring, unappealing, shallow story that you see in the Hindi version with nary a difference.

It’s filmed in the same lush jungles too. Hey, that’s no surprise since the two versions were filmed simultaneously.

What’s the Difference?
But the principal difference between the two versions in this modern-day take on the Indian epic Ramayan is that Vikram brought some life to the principal character Veerayya (part Robin Hood and part dangerous criminal) in the Tamil version.

As the whole world knows by now, the lobotomized dodo Abhishek Bachchan butchered his role of Beera in the Hindi version and made him look like a character overdosing on Crack Cocaine. Continue reading »

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We must be made of stern stuff, eh.

Else, we’re gluttons for punishment.

You ask why?

After enduring the unendurable Raavan (Hindi) this morning, here we are in the theater waiting for the Tamil Raavanan to start.

The Hindi version was so pathetic that we’re optimistic that the Tamil version can’t get any worse.

Vikram plays the ‘bad’ guy in the Tamil version while Prithviraj dons the role of the cop,

Alas, that non-actress Aishwarya Rai plays a key role in the Tamil version too.

Fairly decent crowd of about 50 people in the hall.

Please do pray for us.

Related Stories:
Raavan Review – Beastly Nonsense

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