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The Bourne Legacy Review – Mediocre Shit

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Sep 062010
 
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Back in the old days, when we were in the spring of our lives we greatly enjoyed Robert Ludlum’s books.

We read most if not all his spy thrillers.

If memory serves us right, the Chancellor Manuscript was our first Ludlum thriller, a novel we picked up sometime in the 1970s from a neighborhood circulating library when we still lived in India.

Over the years, as we grew older the interest in Ludlum waned a bit although we still dutifully read the books.

Lately, we watched the Bourne movies too where we saw Matt Damon performing all those wild stunts.

As the Ludlum fans know, Jason Bourne is perhaps the author’s best known character.

So, the other day when we espied The Bourne Legacy (2004) by Erich Van Lustbader in the New Arrivals section of our local library we greedily picked it up. Why the 2004 book was kept in the New Arrivals section of our library, we have no idea.

A writer of crime fiction/spy thrillers, Erich Van Lustbader is not an unknown name to us. In the early or mid 1980s, we read a few of his books including Ninja. They were not bad books but nothing to get terribly excited about either.

Erich Van Lustbader takes charge of the Jason Bourne character in the novel The Bourne Legacy under a contract with the late Robert Ludlum’s estate.

Like most books of this genre, the the 453-page novel is an easy read and we finished it earlier today.

Our Verdict
Bourne Legacy is a mediocre piece of shit. Continue reading »

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 Posted by SearchIndia.com at 10:04 pm  Tagged with: ,

Quote of the Day – Salman ‘Flop’ Khan

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Sep 062010
 
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I am very happy she [Aishwary Rai] is married to Abhishek. He is a great guy from a good family. The best thing I can want for her is that she leads a happy life.

- Salman ’Flop‘ Khan quoted in Times of India

Ha ha ha ha ha . :lol:

Related Stories:
Salman ‘Flop’ Khan vs Rest of Bollywood – Dead on Arrival
Veer Review – Trash for Cash

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 Posted by SearchIndia.com at 3:06 pm  Tagged with: , ,

Incredible India 54: Lungis Lust for She Buffaloes

 Incredible India  Comments Off
Sep 052010
 
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Wake up, schmucks.

Tis’ time for the next installment of your favorite Incredible India, those Only-in-India stories.

Nasty, Nasty
We’ve always found something weird about South Indians.

Yeah, with their Lungis, Dhavanis, shifty eyes, shitty names like Kombhu Iyer, Konda Reddy, Kothi Rao, KD Menon and Kattu Mudaliar, flaunting their fake Java and C++ certificates, H1B/L1 craving, dark-as-coal skin color, foul body odor, ogling at anything female with their tongues lolling out, monkeys who ejaculate at the sight of Ajith or Rajnikanth on the screen, yelling the stupid Swami Saranams,  building temples for well-titted North Indian actresses and a thousand other weird mannerisms these denizens of Andhra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu, Karnataka and Kerala sure are strange specimens who roll on a side-track to the Home Sapiens.

By God, everything about these South Indian simians irritate us.

Now, we have one more strong reason to loath these devotees of Muruga, Ayappa, Velangani et al.

Bedding with She Buffaloes
Guys, have you fastened your seat-belts for what comes next is straight out of a grisly horror movie.

Are you ready?

OK, here it comes.

Folks, it seems some rural South Indian boys find sexual joy in mating with female Buffaloes.

Not for these whackos the normal sane fantasies about Mallika Sherawat, Namitha, Aishwarya Rai, Anushka Shetty or any other fine beauty queen.

Only a She-Buffalo will do for these nut-cases.

No, we’re not making this up.

It’s hard to make up something this weird.

In any case, since it’s weird and since it has to do with South Indians, it’s got to be true, right? ;)

The disclosure about the rural South Indian boys’ fondness for she Buffaloes came to light at the 26th National Conference of Sexology currently underway in Chennai, India.

Here’s an excerpt from a leading Indian newspaper:

Chennai-based sexologist Dr Narayana Reddy narrated a case where six months ago, a young couple from Vellore had visited him. ”The initial complaint was that the male Continue reading »

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 Posted by SearchIndia.com at 7:13 pm  Tagged with:

We are Family Review – Disgustingly Bad

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Sep 032010
 
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We are Family: Ohhh, We are a Box Office Disaster

There are bad Bollywood movies.

Then there are very bad Bollywood movies.

Finally, there are the disgustingly, terribly bad Bollywood movies like We are Family (Kajol, Kareena Kapoor and Arjun Rampal) that are unworthy of even being screened in theaters.

Surely, a special place is reserved in hell for the Shaitans (makers and cast) involved with the Karan Johar produced We Are Family.

Not so much a movie as cow-dung flung on the screen, We Are Family suffers from intolerably hideous acting, incomprehensibly awful screenplay and insanely bad music.

That we managed to come out of the movie-hall with our sanity intact after sitting through this nightmare is nothing short of a miracle.

Pitiful Remake of Stepmom
As all but the schmucks know by now, We are Family is a remake of the 1998 Hollywood film Stepmom (featuring the peerless Susan Sarandon and Pretty Woman Julia Roberts).

Stepmom is hardly a masterpiece and yet it’s a million times more watchable than We are Family. Continue reading »

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 Posted by SearchIndia.com at 7:52 pm  Tagged with: , , , , ,

Nine Lives Review – Heartrending Indian Stories

 Books, Reviews  No Responses »
Sep 022010
 
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Maybe…it is only those of us who have no eyes that can see through the lure of maya, and glimpse reality for what it is.
- Kanai, the blind minstrel in Nine Lives, p.246

A few days back, we got William Dalrymple’s well received book Nine Lives: In Search of the Sacred in Modern India from our local library.

The book is a collection of nine essays, each covering one life, i.e. the story of one individual.

Each essay addresses a different subject but two common threads run through the Nine Lives:

* The setting of the subject matter – they’re all located in the small towns and villages or what Dalrymple describes as “the places suspended between modernity and tradition.”

* All the essays look at the impact of the frenetic pace of development and change currently underway in India on the different religious traditions.

In Dalrymple’s own words:

Each life is intended to act as a keyhole into the way that each specific religious vocation has been caught and transformed in the vortex of India’s metamorphosis during this rapid period of transition, while revealing the extraordinary persistence of faith and ritual in a fast-changing landscape.

It’s a strange universe some of the ‘Lives” inhabit, practicing what may seem to the average eye to be bizarre customs and rituals.

If bizarre and odd are what turn you on, read the story of Manisha Ma Bhairavi in the The lady Twilight and follow it up with The Song of the Blind Ministrel. Tantric sadhanas, cremation ground rituals, drinking from human skulls,  animal sacrifices, unusual sexual practices et al should certainly give you a high. Continue reading »

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 Posted by SearchIndia.com at 4:05 pm  Tagged with:

We are Family is We are Garbage, Say Critics

 Bollywood, Reviews  Comments Off
Sep 022010
 
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We are Family Review – Disgustingly Bad

Folks, our hopes have been dashed on the altar of Bollywood’s  incompetence.

Here we were fondly hoping that this weekend would be a joyous affair but, alas, man proposes, Bollywood disposes.

Several Indian critics have buggered the latest Karan Johar production We are Family (directed by Sidharth Malhotra).

Shallow, Stay Away, Yawn-Inducing, Disappointing Tearjerker are only some of the missiles critics have hurled at this Kajol-Kareena Kapoor starrer.

Of course, the critics may have a good thing or two to say about the movie but the bottom line -We are Family is We are Garbage.

By the way, We are Family is a remake of the Hollywood flick Stepmom (Susan Sarandon, Julia Roberts).

Read what a sample of critics had to say about We are Family:

SearchIndia.com:

Not so much a movie as cow-dung flung on the screen, We are Family suffers from intolerably hideous acting, incomprehensibly awful screenplay and insanely bad music….

Guys/Gals, if you take a soldering iron to your balls or boobs you’re likely to inflict less pain on yourself compared to watching this piece of shit called We are Family.

Rediff

We Are Family begins on a note of confusion. As the film progresses, the sense of confusion increases leaving the viewer disoriented. At the end of two hours, debut director Sidharth Malhotra’s film — which is intended to be a sob story — did leave the audience in tears. Of boredom.

….Stepmom fans, please keep away. Don’t even watch the trailer. Actually, the same advice is valid even for those who haven’t seen Stepmom. Continue reading »

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 Posted by SearchIndia.com at 9:23 am  Tagged with: , ,
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