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By Naveen

Post our dinner debacle at Maharaja Restaurant in Milwaukee and after half a day of intense grieving over our bad Karma, we decided to bury the memory and check out Vishnu Vilas on Saturday night.

Hey all ye GPS owners, Vishnu Vilas is located at 645 E.Algonquin Rd in Schaumburg, a suburb 25 miles from Chicago.

It has its own free parking like any suburban restaurant ought to. Also, Vishnu Vilas is one of the few Indian restaurants here specializing in South Indian cuisine.

In a bid to cast its net wide, the restaurant also serves some North Indian items and non-vegetarian dishes.

Ambiance
As we parked, we could see the place was busy and there was a line of disorganized desis trying to stomp over each other to grab a table. Ha ha, any surprise in seeing desis stomping over each other to get ahead?

Par for the course, actually. ;)

The place has the most outdated style and décor, very basic but bearable furniture, tables so close to each other that one can rub against the lady behind without a shred of guilt or shame. ;)

Putting aside my perverted thoughts aside for just a while… the place was thankfully brightly lit and not-so-thankfully over-crowded for its size. Obviously they care a hoot about comfort and would rather squeeze in 15 extra people.

Food
Vishnu Vilas is one of the rare desi places that offer an elaborate dinner buffet with exquisite choices.

Like rabid dogs, we swiftly passed all the obstacles, stepped on a few shoes and nudged aside the slow walkers in our frenzied sprint toward the crowded buffet for the first round.

First Round
We started off at the Chutney counter where we were presented with a cornucopia of Chutneys and Podis – Paruppu Podi (Dal Powder), Idly Milagai Podi (Dal – Red Chili powder for Idly), Gongura Chutney, Pottu Kadalai Chutney, Tangy Onion Chutney, Oil, Ghee, Mixed Vegetable Pickle, Paruppu (dal) and a few other Podis (powders).

Alas, the Coconut Chutney container was empty. We grabbed a few Milagai/Mirchi Bajji, Samosa, Paruppu Vadai and an Idly.

The spice level was uniformly medium – high and all items had a unique Andhra flavor.

The Pottu Kadalai Chutney left a wonderful mild salty, powdery, tangy feel while the Tangy Onion Chutney rocked our senses with its spicy sour flavor. Paruppu was homely.

Milagai Bajji gave us the thrills – seasoning of red chili power with baked onions layered with the fried batter and the juicy spicy chili inside was quite an experience.

The Paruppu Vadai was over-fried but the effect on our palate still bearable.

Second Round
The buffet table is still crowded. :(

The Coconut Chutney container is still not refilled. WTF are you and your minions doing, we silently yelled at the management.

A mere 5 Idlys remain, the guy ahead of me almost grabs the serving utensil from the person ahead of him, grabs 3 Idlys, looks at me from the side of his eyes and takes one more and then the cheap b*stard looks at me directly as if asking if he could take that one too. History will note that I, Braveheart, did not relent.

I grabbed a few more Mirchi Bajjis, Goru Chikkudi Kaya Curry, Mango Dal, Veg. Korma and Palak Paneer.

Idly was good and Mango Dal was delightfully tangy and indulging but the pick of the items was Goru Chikkudi Kaya Curry – Awesome taste, great combination of spices, melted in my mouth left me in an orgasmic fit. Oooh, aaaahh!

The Veg. Korma would have tasted better had it been renamed Mirchi ka Salan.

Palak Paneer was atrocious! It was burnt alive,  a blemish in an otherwise satisfying dinner so far.

Third Round
Aromatic and evenly cooked Bisi Bela Bath, a favorite from the South Indian state of Karnataka, made its way to our stomach touching every single taste bud leaving them making heavenly music like Mozart.

Some more of the yummy Mango Dal and Goru Chikkudi Kaya Curry.

Veg. Biriyani, spicy but spoiled by unevenly cooked rice and not warm enough either. Downer!

Wow, a Halley’s Comet in an Indian restaurant – Tasty Spring Rolls make special appearance to the buffet as a replacement for the ubiquitous Samosas.

Naan bread was disgustingly thick, cold and slightly burnt but the delightful Pongal acts as a soothing balm on our anger.

A few moments of rest and… Fourth Round
Surprise!

Coconut Chutney has been refilled and it looks and tastes every bit as authentic as I would find in the hotels of Chennai. Thick and fresh.

Double Surprise!! Dosai is available on demand!!

Now, how can we insult them by not ordering one? The waiter generously serves two Dosais instead of the one that I asked and what a deadly, divine combination with Coconut Chutney.

Yes, GOD exists! Today, in the form of Dosai!

We have a few nibbles of the passable Tindora curry cooked with peanuts. These idiots should put up a warning somewhere considering the number of people with peanut allergy.

The onion-heavy Raita spoils the taste. Curd Rice is ok. The rice should have been mashed more.

Fifth and final round… Desserts!
Fruits custard, the uneven temperature killed the taste but thankfully the Moong Dal Payasam is just around the corner.

While it is nowhere in my list of favorites, the Moong Dal Payasam was surprisingly good. Not too sweet, perfect temperature, correct density, evenly cooked and a pleasant way to end a grand weekend meal.

Hygiene
For the excellent food they serve and the number of patrons they have, the cheap rascals should make their staff wear gloves to refill the buffet and provide better spoons, forks and glasses.

They serve water in cheap old plastic glasses and their spoons and forks are straight out of 1980’s.

Service
They had an unexpectedly big group visiting and the Owner/Manager was walking around with a piece of paper noting down names and phone numbers. Can’t these idiots have some basic system to take reservations?

However, in a rare gesture of humility for desi restaurants, the owner apologized to patrons at every table for the confusion caused.  They also had the courtesy to check with all the patrons before closing the buffet when it was time.

Buffet was crowded at all times but then that’s probably a reflection of the wonderful food.

Verdict
Folks, it’s a sin not to dine at Vishnu Vilas!

Here’s our starred rating of the various items:

Hog like a pig, 25+ choices for $11.99 is the best value for money you will ever get.

If you are in or visiting the Chicago area, by all means head for Vishnu Vilas.

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Idle Indian minds will drink.

Idle Indian minds will drink anything cold if the weather is as hot as it was in the mid-Atlantic states of the U.S. today.

So, as we were returning from the new Hollywood movie The Lincoln Lawyer, we made a quick stop at the Gujju liquor store and picked up two fairly commonplace beers – the Australian Foster’s and the Dutch Heineken – to see which one would cause us the least offense.

Usually, after we get back from the liquor store we keep the beer in the freezer for just a few minutes to get it really ice-cold.

First, we opened Foster’s ($2.25 for the 25.4-oz can).

We kept drinking Foster’s, all the while reviewing The Lincoln Lawyer.

Who says we can’t chew gum drink Beer and write at the same time. ;)

After we’d finished the Foster’s and after completing the review of The Lincoln Lawyer and after listening to the maestro Ennio Morricone, we turned to Heineken.

Our Verdict
Heineken
($2.75 for a 24-oz can) has a better taste, seemed slightly bitterer and packed a overall less cheap flavor.

But it had a slightly, oh, just so slightly chemical odor.

With Foster’s, we drifted across a range  of emotions ranging from decent to not great to tasteless. It was not bad like many other cheap bilge we’ve drunk. Just that it did not seem to have a well defined taste of anything.

Neither of the beer is a strong beer like for instance Arrogant Bastard.

Now, if you schmucks will just disappear, we’d like to listen to Ennio Morricone’s hauntingly beautiful, timeless music from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, For a Few Dollars More and Il Trio Infernale one more time.

And one more time.

And one more time. ;)

Ennio Morricone, we’re blessed to have been born in your lifetime!

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Yipitee!. ;)

We’re in a good mood, folks.

Thank God, the cold weather is behind us. Thank God for the Cricket World Cup, for there are none of those not-meant-for-humans Bollywood or Kollywood movies. Thank God for Bacchus, we have a huge 25-oz open can of beer in front of us. And Thank God for…., we have a plate of heavenly Sambar-Rice in front of us.

Ah, Life is good, schmucks. ;)

And yes, we just returned after watching a nice Hollywood movie The Lincoln Lawyer.

Brad Furman directed the movie based on the book by Michael Connelly.

Starring Matthew McConaughey and the reasonably pretty Marisa Tomei (included just to have a pretty face), Lincoln Lawyer is a crime-legal thriller that makes for an engrossing 1 hour and 51 minutes.

We can’t remember the last time we saw a Matthew McConaughey movie. Must have been a gazillion years ago.

Hey, the guy is not bad. Not bad at all. Not one of those Hollywood zombies. We suppose he’s in the Matt Damon, Christian Bale, Ben Affleck league.

Back to the movie, we see Mickey Haller (Matthew McConaughey), a sharp, quick-witted L.A. criminal defense attorney moving around town in his Lincoln sedan from one destination to another (now, you know where the movie title comes from) chauffeured by a black driver.

Not too long after the movie starts our young, handsome lawyer lands a case, a very interesting case – a rich young man Louis Roulet (Ryan Phillippe) is charged with rape and brutal assault of a prostitute.

The rich young man (played convincingly and with restraint by Ryan Phillippe)  swears he had nothing to do with the rape or violent attack on the hooker, that it was all a set up and begs our lawyer Mickey to help him.

For a big pile of cash, Mickey accepts the case.

Well, where you have Big Money, Big Trouble is never far behind! Take our word on that, guys. Continue reading »

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