Mein Kutta Hoon, Yeh Kutiya Hain (I am a dog and she is my bitch).
– Salman Khan’s character Prem referring to his girlfriend Pooja (played by Asin) in the movie Ready
In the dismal annals of bad Indian movies, Ready (Salman Khan, Asin Thottumkal) occupies pride of place.
The Bollywood movie, which released in the U.S. this morning, is a nauseatingly awful piece of junk that has few parallels.
A movie with a fig leaf of a story so sophomoric that one shudders at the damage such tripe inflict on the already battered reputation of Bollywood.
As many of our smart readers are aware, Ready is the remake of a Telugu movie bearing the same name. We missed the Telugu version but it was our great misfortune to watch the Tamil version.
Directed by a Bollywood yokel answering to the yells of Anees Bazmee, Ready’s claim to fame is that the camera relentlessly maintains its focus on Salman Khan’s swollen, aging face much of the time as he makes a jackass of himself.
Bollywood rogue Salman Khan plays a young man Prem living with his wealthy parents and uncles in a large house.
Don’t ask us what Prem does for a living, his plans or his background. We have no clue. And neither does director Anees Bazmee.
The rest of the movie is an endless tableau of meaningless scenes that are bereft of any logic and bizarrely awful.
A forgetful father, an oddball accountant, a devil of a grandson, two brothers with ponytails and a retard-like heroine are some of the grotesque creatures making up the Ready menagerie.