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Jun 032011
 




Mein Kutta Hoon, Yeh Kutiya Hain (I am a dog and she is my bitch).
- Salman Khan’s character Prem referring to his girlfriend Pooja (played by Asin) in the movie Ready

In the dismal annals of bad Indian movies, Ready (Salman Khan, Asin Thottumkal) occupies pride of place.

The Bollywood movie, which released in the U.S. this morning, is a nauseatingly awful piece of junk that has few parallels.

A  movie with a fig leaf of a story so sophomoric that one shudders at the damage such tripe inflict on the already battered reputation of Bollywood.

As many of our smart readers are aware, Ready is the remake of a Telugu movie bearing the same name. We missed the Telugu version but it was our great misfortune to watch the Tamil version.

Directed by a Bollywood yokel answering to the yells of Anees Bazmee, Ready’s claim to fame is that the camera relentlessly maintains its focus on Salman Khan’s swollen, aging face much of the time as he makes a jackass of himself.

Bollywood rogue Salman Khan plays a young man Prem living with his wealthy parents and uncles in a large house.

Don’t ask us what Prem does for a living, his plans or his background. We have no clue. And neither does director Anees Bazmee.

The rest of the movie is an endless tableau of meaningless scenes that are bereft of any logic and bizarrely awful.

A forgetful father, an oddball accountant, a devil of a grandson, two brothers with ponytails and a retard-like heroine are some of the grotesque creatures making up the Ready menagerie. Continue reading »

Jun 032011
 

Ready Review – Pageant of Trash

The first reviews of Salman Khan’s new film Ready are out.

And they are not positive.

Here’s a sample of critical reviews for Ready:

Times of India

The first half involves running around the trees (read beating around the bush) while the actual story starts only in the second half. The graph of the narrative does pick up somewhere in the second half but the tempo falls intermittently thanks to the convoluted writing and the protracted proceedings. By the time the film reaches its melodramatic high-voltage climax giving Salman simulated scope to go topless, it leaves you exasperated.

The entire villain tribe is unusually unkempt and intentionally irritating. The sidetrack of the pampered spoilt grandson (Mohit Baghel) being subjugated by Salman’s buffoonery is annoying. Sajid-Farhad’s dialogues don’t elevate the humour much and when Salman expresses romance with lines like ‘main kutta hoon, yeh kutiya hain’, you know the film is going to the dogs.

NDTV

So, the climax includes little boys standing in a line and peeing on the baddies; the dialogue includes lines like: “in that case, aa jao mere paas meri suitcase” and my favorite: “aaj pehli baar kisi aurat ne samajdari ki baat ki” and if you prefer your films to have a coherent plot, then you best sit this one out.

Ready made me laugh sporadically but beyond a point I could almost feel my brain cells shrinking and exhaustion setting in, one joke at a time. I’m going with two stars.

Rediff

If, however, I had to pay to watch Ready, Anees Bazmee’s latest film, I would feel sorely insulted. Continue reading »