(Dedicated to the countless, helpless rape victims and hookers of India)
Indian Behnchods are raping their sisters, daughters and cousins less, that’s the good news this Diwali.
Now, the depressing news this Diwali – Indian Haramis are raping others more.
No, we’re not drunk. Hey, it’s only noon here on the East Coast and all we’re sipping is a cup of hot masala chai.
Our analysis and conclusions are drawn from the National Crimes Record Bureau 2010 Crimes Report released today.
Incest rape was down 10.3% in 2010, according to the report.
On the other hand, total reported rape incidents in India in 2010 was 22,172, up 3.6% over the previous year.
What gives?
Are desperate Indian libidos no longer turned on at the sight of their nubile daughters, pretty sisters and voluptuous cousins? Are they seeking relief between non-incestuous sheets? Or is it a case of under-reported, faulty incest statistics?
Who can fathom the mysteries of Incredible India.
Hell, even statistics can get raped in that benighted land! 
Caveat: As all but the schmucks know, given the stigma attached to rape victims in India the real rape numbers for both incest and other rapes are likely much, much higher than official statistics.
By the way, India’s conviction rate for rape at 26.6% is less than that for robbery (28.3%) or economic crimes (30.3%).
This means if you’re a recidivist criminal, you have a better chance of getting away with rape than for cheating (29.2%) or other economic offenses.
Just in case you’re curious, Maharashtra tops the country in incest rapes. No, we don’t think Bollywood has anything to do with an insatiable desire to poke your daughter, sister or cousin.
Rape in India – Boom Times
Gold, software exports, call centers, malls and real estate are not the only things booming in India.
In a little noticed development, the biggest boom in India over the last few decades has been in the incidence of rape.
In the four decades from 1971-2010, rape in India has grown 791.5%.
During the same period, India’s population increased only 110%.
What explains the phenomenal increase in rape vis-a-vis other crimes in India.
SI’s hypothesis is that the explosion in Indian rape numbers is due to more leisure time, change in dietary habits, greater exposure to mass media, easy access to porn and a big jump in working women exponentially increasing the available prey.
Rape in India – Any Time, Any Place
In India, rapes can happen at any time and anywhere.
Not even police stations are safe havens because some of India’s deadliest, sadistic, malevolent criminals strut around these places wearing the garb of a police uniform.
The National Crimes Record Bureau 2010 Crimes Report acknowledges six custodial rapes, by which we presume inside police stations.
Surely, no sane Indian believes there were only six rapes inside a police station in 2010.
More like 60 every day. Wouldn’t that be closer to reality?
Indian Women Fucked
Indian women are getting fucked literally and figuratively.
In Incredible India, the percentage of total crimes committed against women has gone up by 4.8% in 2010 to 2.14 million. Again, we believe these numbers are under-reported given the historically lower status of women.
Besides rape, other crimes against Indian women include kidnapping, sexual harassment, molestation, dowry demands, torture etc.
As we’ve said often, in India behind the oft-repeated shibboleths of respect for womenhood lurks a satanic male mind with little respect for the female sex.
A lot of Indian families still prefer male children and female infanticide and foeticide are not uncommon in the rural hinterland.
North Indian Dickheads – Bigger Rapists
As with most things in India, even with rape there’s a North-South divide.
By South India, most Indians refer to the states of Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh, Kerala, Karnataka and Puducherry.
All other Indian states are considered North India, even if they happen to be in the West, East, North-East or Central India. Weird logic, yes, but that’s how it is in India.
If you look at the total numbers, North Indians play the rape game more aggressively compared to South Indians.
All South Indian states put together accounted for 3,271 rape incidents or 14.75% of total 22,272 rapes in 2010.
Since South Indians represent 20.8% of the total Indian population but account for only 14.75% of rapes, one might be forgiven for positing that North Indian dickheads have less control over their dicks in Mera Bharat Mahaan.
SI Travel Advisory – Rape, Sexual Harassment & Eve Teasing
Like the U.S. State Department travel advisories, SI is issuing the following advisory:
* Those visiting the North Indian state of Madhya Pradesh might want to be aware that the state has the dubious honor of the highest number of Rape cases (3,135) and Molestation (6,646) accounting for 14.1% and 16.4% respectively of total such cases reported in the country.
Although Madhya Pradesh is technically in central India, it’s still considered North India in a lose fashion because it’s not part of South India.
* Also, if you’re traveling via public transport or otherwise moving around the South Indian state of Andhra Pradesh, you stand a higher chance of being groped, pawed, pinched or subject to other forms of sexual harassment.
Andhra Pradesh accounts for 45.8% (4,562) of total Sexual Harassment cases in India. SI’s hypothesis is that this is all the result of the Telugu penchant for eating those fiery avakkaya pickles and watching that shrieking Tollywood baboon [deleted] movies in which yelling, screaming, barking and braying at women is the norm. Of the two, which is more culpable is beyond the ken of non-Telugu minds to determine.
Cyberabad police district, again in Avakaya country aka Andhra Pradesh, leads India in sexual harassment with 1,257 cases. Say, does software development have a correlation with sexual harassment or imbalance in sexual hormones.
Andhra Pradesh is also the Rape Capital of South India, accounting for 41.63% of rapes in South India. West Godavari district with 127 rapes in 2010 is the most dangerous for women.
Vijaywada, a city in Andhra Pradesh, is big on eve-teasing accounting for 16% of total cases in India.
* India’s capital Delhi accounted for 23% of Rape cases, 37.7% of Kidnapping & Abduction cases, 14.6% of Dowry Deaths and 16.5% of Molestation cases among 35 cities. So when in Delhi, keep a pepper spray/mace handy at all times.
Who gets Raped in India?
Of course, it’s mostly the unfortunate, unlucky girl or woman who gets raped in India.
But if you are over 30 in India the chances of your getting raped falls off dramatically.
As a matter of fact, 82.4% of Indian rape victims are under 30.
Perhaps, young Indian women ought to consider dyeing their hair white before stepping out of their homes if they want to restrict admission rights down there.
Tamil Nadu – Thevadiya Nadu (Hooker state)
No discussion on any aspect of India is incomplete without a mention of our favorite state, Tamil Nadu.
Tamil Nadu can more appropriately be called Thevadiya Nadu (prostitute state) given that it accounts for the highest percentage of cases booked under Immoral Traffic Prevention Act (a bureaucratic name covering prostitutes, clients, pimps and brothel owners) in India.
Tamil Nadu accounted for 22.7% of the total Immoral Traffic Prevention cases in India (567 out of 2,499) followed closely by its randy neighbor Andhra Pradesh (21.9%).
Given the weak economic status of the prostitutes relative to clients, pimps or madams and the inability of hookers to pay bribes demanded by cops, we’d consider the majority of cases booked here are against prostitutes or Thevadiyas as these little birds of the night are known in Tamil Nadu.
If more Thevadiya cases are filed in Tamil Nadu then other states, it could mean many things – there are more hookers in Tamil Nadu, the police in Tamil Nadu are more aggressive against prostitution, the prostitutes in Tamil Nadu are too poor to pay bribes or Tamil men have hyperactive libidos that can’t sated with the hand or a mouse-click.
Mera Bharat Mahaan!
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