Oh, if you are one of those elitists turning your nose up at Vijay’s films, then let’s see your Brando, Al Pacino or De Niro even try what Vijay does effort-lessly! 😉
Produced by “Aascar” Ravichandran and ejaculated directed by M Raja, Velayudham stars “Ilaya Thalapathi” Vijay, Genelia D’Souza, Hansika Motwani, Santhanam matrum palar (and others) in a casting coup that would put Asscar Oscar winners to shame.
Diving into the Telugu Cesspool
As if there were no more sophomoric drivel left in Tamil Cinema and all combinations of puerile junk had been exhausted, M. Raja dives into the cesspool of Telugu cinema by shamelessly stealing (or borrowing, if he has bought the rights) this fiendish plot from Azad, a 11-year-old movie starring Nagarjuna and Shilpa Shetty.
Of course, where else would he find the most uncreative scripts or unoriginal ideas in India but Tollywood!
Story & Screenplay
With minor changes from Azad, the storyline of Velayudham goes like this…
In a plot that resembles Vijayakanth’s movies, Tamil Nadu’s Home Minister is in cahoots with Jihadi Terrorists who wish to destabilize India by bombing Chennai. Yeah right! Even terrorists are bored of bombing the same old Mumbai or Delhi.
Bharati (Genelia), a journalist and her two male colleagues launch a crusade against the evils plaguing society.
A sting operation goes awry, both her colleagues are killed and Bharati too has a close shave with death.
The stupid thugs who killed them blow themselves up accidentally but not before giving a vaakumoolam (confession) to Bharati that they were involved in the previous bombing and another one is coming next week.
Bharati has a brainwave, conjures up a fictitious character called Velayudham, writes a note signed by Velayudham warning all criminals that he was responsible for killing the thugs and he would stop the next terror plot.
Meanwhile, a village milkman, Velayudham (Vijay in a never before seen role), his sister Kaveri (Saranya Mohan) and a bunch of cronies come to Chennai to collect the money he had invested in a chit fund company.
Velayudham ends up accidentally and unknowingly saving the public from the terror attacks while still staying unknown to the public. As usual, the stupid Tamil people start believing the existence of Velayudham just as they believed in the Indian Thatha, Kandasamy and Anniyan.
Once this news reaches Bharati, she solicits the real Velayudham to continue to play the fictitious one but he declines.
However when the chit fund company turns out to be a fraud and he loses all his money Velayudham, the milkman has a change of heart and Velayudham, the crusader is born.
The rest of the story is about how he foils all the terror plots and saves the people of Tamil Nadu.
With eyes like a tiger, lion like ferocity, legs like Cheetah and a body like Bruce Lee, what chance do the bad guys really have?
The screenplay is typical of Vijay films – forced songs, loads of fist fights, Thangachi (sister) sentiment, unrelated comedy track, preachy, people extolling the hero’s virtues and topped off with a political tinge.
M. Raja tests the patience of the audience when describing the paasamalar (loving) relationship of the Anna – Thangachi duo and their playful pranks on the villagers in flashbacks coming one after the other in rapid succession making you want to pull the hair off your head i.e. making the audience a Mayira pudungi (a Tamil cuss word).
Cast & Performances
It would not be a sin to leave this section blank as new words need to be invented to describe performances in Vijay movies. However, I’ll try to be kind.
Vijay is a perfect fit for this role as it does not require great skills (besides Vijay doesn’t have much to boast of anyway). However, he looks physically fit – has a shirtless fight scene in the climax that would make Salman Khan cringe.
Vijay also continues to excel in his Kakavalippu (epileptic seizure) dance moves. He seemed to have put some effort into a scene where he is required to cry and I’ll give him some marks for trying.
If Shruti Haasan was expressionless in 7aum Arivu then wait till you watch the clueless turkey Hansika Motwani.
With her puffy cheeks, fluffy breasts and a milky body, Hansika Motuwani will soon give sex siren Namitha a run for her booty money.
With zero acting skills, total inability to speak Tamil and a plump figure one wonders what Hansika Motuwani is doing on the screen besides hiding the scenery behind her and occupying so many pixels.
Mercifully Hansika does not have much of a role save appearing in a couple of songs.
Genelia’s role is pivotal but her limited acting skills, poor dialogue delivery (due to lack of Tamil knowledge) and inability to convincingly play a journalist leaves her as just another heroine.
Santhanam runs the completely editable comedy track that evokes a few chuckles now and then.
The cast also includes seasoned actors like Pandiyarajan, Shiyaji Shinde, Manivannan, and MS. Bhaskar who are underutilized and wasted in inconsequential roles.
Vijay Anthony’s music is no contender for the Grammys or even the local “Talent” shows but it sticks to the basic Kuthu songs and some romantic numbers without giving a headache.
The “Molachi Moonu” and “Chillax” numbers are ok.. just ok.
On the positive note, Velayudham is evenly-paced, sticks to its basic premise and plot without diversions and shamelessly delivers what is expected of Vijay – Mass Masala.
For Vijay fans, Velayudham is an absolute treat. They can continue to retain the unused state of their brains without feeling least offended. The 7 pm show on Wednesday at a Chicago theater had an impressive turnout for a Vijay movie.
As for the rest, if you are willing to ignore the following creative liberties (a.k.a. illogical, mindless, impractical, unintelligent drivel) then Velayudham should be made India’s official entry to the Oscars this year:
Ø Tamil speaking terrorists
Ø Vijay knows precisely where to find the bad guys at any point with absolutely no help
Ø The Terrorists smuggle AK47 and plant bombs at will but they always fight with MGR-era swords and bare fists
Ø Gravity defying stunts
Ø A Milkman can in one punch kick the living hell out of a person (Did tickling cow’s tits make his hands that strong?) 😉
Ø A village full of useless people do nothing but bid farewell or welcome Vijay besides giving recommendation for his sisters marriage or organizing the wedding
Indian Cinema sets absolutely abysmal standards.
Kollywood ranks near the bottom of Indian cinema.
And the absolutely nadir of Kollywood is Vijay’s brand of cinema.
Only if you set your expectations at that low, low level, is there a chance that you’ll enjoy Velayudham.
By the way, there’s nothing family-friendly about this movie. There are a number of gory scenes involving beheading, stabbing and chopping off limbs. I’d rate it PG13.