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By Naveen

On the unenviable lines of his past monsterpieces Tirupachi, Madurey, Villu, Sura and Vettaikkaran, Vijay has taken Tamil Cinema eight steps backward this Diwali with Velayudham.

Oh, if you are one of those elitists turning your nose up at Vijay’s films, then let’s see your Brando, Al Pacino or De Niro even try what Vijay does effort-lessly! ;)

Produced by “Aascar” Ravichandran and ejaculated directed by M Raja, Velayudham stars “Ilaya Thalapathi” Vijay, Genelia D’Souza, Hansika Motwani, Santhanam matrum palar (and others) in a casting coup that would put Asscar Oscar winners to shame.

Diving into the Telugu Cesspool

As if there were no more sophomoric drivel left in Tamil Cinema and all combinations of puerile junk had been exhausted, M. Raja dives into the cesspool of Telugu cinema by shamelessly stealing (or borrowing, if he has bought the rights) this fiendish plot from Azad, a 11-year-old movie starring Nagarjuna and Shilpa Shetty.

Of course, where else would he find the most uncreative scripts or unoriginal ideas in India but Tollywood!

Story & Screenplay

With minor changes from Azad, the storyline of Velayudham goes like this…

In a plot that resembles Vijayakanth’s movies, Tamil Nadu’s Home Minister is in cahoots with Jihadi Terrorists who wish to destabilize India by bombing Chennai. Yeah right! Even terrorists are bored of bombing the same old Mumbai or Delhi.

Bharati (Genelia), a journalist and her two male colleagues launch a crusade against the evils plaguing society.

A sting operation goes awry, both her colleagues are killed and Bharati too has a close shave with death.

The stupid thugs who killed them blow themselves up accidentally but not before giving a vaakumoolam (confession) to Bharati that they were involved in the previous bombing and another one is coming next week.

Bharati has a brainwave, conjures up a fictitious character called Velayudham, writes a note signed by Velayudham warning all criminals that he was responsible for killing the thugs and he would stop the next terror plot.

Meanwhile, a village milkman, Velayudham (Vijay in a never before seen role), his sister Kaveri (Saranya Mohan) and a bunch of cronies come to Chennai to collect the money he had invested in a chit fund company.

Velayudham ends up accidentally and unknowingly saving the public from the terror attacks while still staying unknown to the public. As usual, the stupid Tamil people start believing the existence of Velayudham just as they believed in the Indian Thatha, Kandasamy and Anniyan.

Once this news reaches Bharati, she solicits the real Velayudham to continue to play the fictitious one but he declines.

However when the chit fund company turns out to be a fraud and he loses all his money Velayudham, the milkman has a change of heart and Velayudham, the crusader is born.

The rest of the story is about how he foils all the terror plots and saves the people of Tamil Nadu. Continue reading »

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Shahrukh Khan’s new film Ra.One is good enough for the Indian and NRI chutiyas who come merely upon hearing the name of a Khan or Rajinikant.

But for discerning souls like yours truly who have higher expectations, the Bollywood super-hero science fiction flick Ra.One is a  failure of imagination.

One more in a long list of disappointing Bollywood films.

Deja Vu

It’s a mighty shame that Indian film-makers who can’t even make simple movies have lately developed a restless itch on their cojones to put out super-hero movies.

Ah, the chutzpah!

First, there was Hrithik Roshan’s Krishh a few years back, then Rajinikant’s Enthiran last year and now we have Shahrukh’s Ra.One.

In a testament to the lack of imagination and originality, there’s virtually nothing in Ra.One that we haven’t seen before in Hollywood super-hero films or even Indian copycats like Enthiran.

Neither the ho-hum story nor the seen-it-all-before action scenes in Ra.One (story and direction by Anubhav Sinha) impressed us. Not one tiny bit.

Jumping on trains, running on walls, hurling cars, leaping in the air, stopping bullets and generally doing an Arnold Schwarzenegger is all so passe at best and tedious at worst without a gripping story to accompany the high octane activity.

Also, Ra.One is low on emotional quotient and fails to make a connection with the audience, at least the part of the viewers that doesn’t come merely at hearing the echo of Shahrukh’s name.

The story in its essence is about an angry super-villain Ra.One breaking out of the virtual world of a video game and entering into the real world in pursuit of a young boy Lucifer/Prateek (newcomer Armaan Verma), son of the game’s creator Shekhar Subramaniam (Shahrukh Khan). Continue reading »

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