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Oct 152012
 



On the wish-list scale of the Homo Sapiens male, nothing ranks higher than the eternal craving for an erection that kind of lasts forever.

A little while ago I stumbled upon an interesting article in the science section of the New York Times that’s very relevant to all ye priapic Indian schmucks, particularly the rabid fans of that talentless Tamil film star Ajith.

In my not-so-humble opinion, Ajith’s claim to fame owes more to a rabid fan-base comprised of the worst elements of the human riff-raff than to his acting skills, of which he’s grossly deficient.

Rabid Indian DogIndian Rabid Dog
Picture courtesy: New York Times

Ajith’s Torture – Peerless

As anyone who’s suffered through the bad Karma of sitting through a movie starring the Kollywood zombie Ajith Kumar knows, it’s a trauma equaled by few others in the Milky Way.

Torture of an infidel at the hands of the Taliban, listening to Mitt Romney blabbing on and on about more tax cuts for the wealthy, seeing a Salman Khan film, stepping on a landmine in the gullies of a remote village in Kandahar or ending up on Idi Amin’s plate as breakfast, bad as they all are nothing matches the depths of depravity inherent in a film helmed by Ajith Kumar.

Soon after the horror-show of a Billa, Aalwar or Asal ends, begins the endless nightmare for discerning movie buffs.

Worse, Ajith’s on-screen depravities have a vast army of delusional fans in Tamil Nadu who believe the blasphemy that their star’s repeated cruelties on the screen in the name of acting is high art.

Never let it be said that the abyss of idiocy among Tamil movie fans is fathomable.

Sustained Erection for Ajith’s Fans

Rabid as Ajith’s fans are in the figurative sense, it’s time for them to take their rabies to a new, higher level.

And for us to help them navigate the process.

According to the NYT piece, there’s a technique to get sustained erections and up to 30 ejaculations in a day.

Sustained erections and 30 ejaculations?

Gosh, what can be more pleasing than this holy grail to Ajith’s rabid fans.

They must all be salivating and frothing at the mouth already, doing one of those danses macabres that Ajith excels in. By the way, paid performers at funerals in Tamil Nadu do a better job at dancing than Ajith.

Here’s the technique for Ajith’s fan-base to achieve the Nirvana of sustained erections and 30-ejaculations per day.

This is not a technique that most humans can easily embrace.

But for Ajith’s rabid fans, it’s a piece of cake.

Hey, Ajith fans! Are you ready?

The sure path to a sustained erection and 30 ejaculations a day for y’all is to get bitten by a rabid dog.

Since you Thala-illadha (headless) noobs are already into depravity big time by virtue of being Thala’s fans, getting bitten by a rabid dog should be a walk in the park.

We can almost hear your collective shout, Simple, Machchi.

Go for it, then.

What are you waiting for?

After all, time and tide erections wait for none. ;)

You get your sustained erection and uncontrollable ejaculations and we get to see better Kollywood films.

That’s what we call a double-bonus.

For without your sustained support, the vine of Ajith’s popularity would soon wither into oblivion and, hopefully, a better breed of Tamil actors will take his place.

No Kidding

If you think I’m kidding on rabies inducing sustained erections and 30-ejaculations a day, here read this excerpt from the New York Times piece:

I started reading “Rabid: A Cultural History of the World’s Most Diabolical Virus,” a new all-about book, thinking that I would be most interested in the grim anecdotes and lurid details the book promises, and delivers.

….Among the lurid details I didn’t know about until I read the book is that rabies, on its inexorable death crawl through the nervous system to the brain, can cause sustained erections, and on rare occasions frequent, and uncontrollable ejaculations in human males.

The authors write, “case reports from history describe up to thirty ejaculations in a single day” and go on to note that “The Roman physician Galen, in his own remarks on rabies, describes the case of an unfortunate porter who suffered such emissions for three full days leading up to his death.”

As anyone who lives in India knows, rabies is a deadly disease triggered by the bite of a rabid dog.

If not treated promptly, the victim dies a painful death in a few days.

Like with all things terrible, India is the world leader in rabies deaths.

Scientists believe that the world’s first canine infected with rabies was an Indian dog.

Anybody surprised?

Of the estimated 55,000 world-wide deaths caused by rabies every year, some 20,000 happen in Mera Bharat Mahaan.

Another 250 million Indians infected by the rabid Bollywood virus die a slower death but that’s a subject for another day.

Related Content
A Searing Narrative of Rabies, and the Desperation to Forget It
Where Streets Are Thronged With Strays Baring Fangs

  4 Responses to “How Ajith Fans Can Get a Long-Lasting Erection and Improve Kollywood Films”

  1. Why are you pulling Ajith into this? :P

    Btw, Vijay fans are getting worse.

    Do you know the pages they have created on facebook?

    “Kullan Suriya olipavar sangam”, “Vijay fans ah paathu bayandhu poi fake id use pannum Ali Ajith fans”, “Vijay is the next superstar” to name a few.

    Surya and Ajith are routinely abused in these pages. Not just that, these mongrels have gone to the extent of abusing Ajith’s wife and daughter.

    God, these guys are so retarded.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. Sure, all fans are retarded but as Orwell would say, were he alive, some fans are more retarded, more beastly, more savage and, of course, more rabid than other fans!

    Based on the response to our reviews, I’ve always felt Ajith exudes a magnetic appeal to the basest (in)human elements.

    No doubt, Vijay is the Past, Present and Future Superstar….of the Idiots, that is.

    2. So, have you seen YaeMaatraan…oops, I meant Maatraan?

    • 1)No. All these dickheads are equally retarded. Just take a peek inside any of those pages created by the vijay fans and you’ll know.

      2)After enduring 7am arivu, I don’t wanna risk losing my sanity again. Everyone who watched the movie unanimously trashed it. They said the same thing, that the first half was very good but the second half was a hopeless mess. Surya did a commendable job it seems.

      SI planning on watching?..

      Btw, they’ve recently trimmed the second half by 20 mins. Then just imagine how horrible the uncut version must have been.

      SearchIndia.com Responds:

      No, I have no plans on watching these two bozos Surya and Kajal.

      It seems like every other Tamil movie is being ‘trimmed’ these days. Thandavam too was ‘trimmed’ after a few days and now it’s Maatraan’s turn.

      If you ask me, any movie featuring Surya, Vijay, Ajith and Vikram should be trimmed in full, except for the title and end-credits. ;)

      • Watched Thandavam yesterday.

        Waste of time. The director was absolutely clueless. It could have been a much better movie in the hands of a more able director. As for Vikram, I thought his portrayal of a blind person was alright but in the flashback he seemed lost. The flashback itself was too long. I watched a pirated version so I guess it’s the untrimmed version. I was at least happy about saving Rs.120 and a trip to the theater.

        I too have no plans of watching Maatran. I’d rather wait for Skyfall.

        Both Surya and Vikram have demonstrated good acting skills in the past. Sad that both of them have stooped so low. I guess Vikram’s a goner. If his next release ‘I’ in Shankar’s director fails too, he’s out. Same with Surya. If his next movie too opens to mixed response, I guess he’s out too.

        Sad that Karthi too is being wasted.

        SearchIndia.com Responds:

        1. You write: Both Surya and Vikram have….Sad that both of them have stooped so low. I guess Vikram’s a goner. If his next release ‘I’ in Shankar’s director fails too, he’s out. Same with Surya. If his next movie too opens to mixed response, I guess he’s out too.

        Good riddance to bad rubbish.

        Both are thieving scumbags.

        They richly deserve their failures!

        2. Watched an interesting Korean film The Bow last night. May review it.

        Plan to see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (Judi Dench, Bill Nighy, Penelope Wilton, Dev Patel, Celia Imrie) later today. The movie is set in India.

  2. Its so bad that you dont have manners on how to treat a person comparing people who hard work and earn and then watch the movies with dogs?? this shows the low life and lowest mindset your are in [Trash Talk]

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Alas, good advice (I meant my good counsel) is wasted on dolts!