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Apr 292010

If Tamil film star Vijay had any shame at all, he’d lash himself till he bleeds out of every pore of his dark-skinned body and then nail his frame to a wooden metal cross.

That would be a fitting Prayaschit (atonement) for the Judas act of loosening his bowels and raining this dysentery a.k.a. Vettaikaran upon Tamil movie fans.

Depraved Shit Before Sura
Say what you will, we’re convinced Vijay a.k.a. Punnaku Pandi is the worthy inheritor of Marquis de Sade‘s mantle since Vettaikaran is a lengthy piece of sadistic nonsense from the get-go with nary a moment’s pause.

The nonsense in Vettaikaran starts right at the outset when we see our 36-year-old ‘young general’ Vijay playing the part of a 12th standard school student ‘Police Ravi’ and flogging asinine dialogs like:

Nanga aella ninaicha mudipom, mudikaerradhathan naennapom.

Guess, we’ve to be grateful Vijay was not cast in the role of a baby hanging on to mama’s teats!

And such stupid shit is only the beginning of this mind-blowing garbage where ‘Police Ravi’ models himself upon a super-cop and ‘encounter’ specialist Devaraj.

Our hero ‘Police Ravi’ soon graduates to sillier dialogs like anniki sonnadhu innikum, inniki sonnadhuthan yennikum and joins a college in the big city while driving an auto like his idol Devaraj in his younger days.

When his goal of becoming an police officer like Devaraj is thwarted by the villain Vedanayagam (Salim Ghouse) and his cartoon of a son Chellam (Sai Kumar), the insanity on the screen increases manifold till it becomes unbearable.

Sanjay Shinde as the corrupt policeman Kattaboman adds to the misery quotient with his simian antics.

The fight scenes in Vettaikaran are intolerable, even by Vijay’s lowly standards or lack of it. Continue reading »

Dec 212009

Amma thaye, indha picture-karan Vijayuku pitchai podunga (please give alms to this movie fella Vijay).

Ha ha ha.

We knew it, folks. Just knew it.

We turned our back on this movie because we sensed all along that it was a piece of junk that few cared about. Chronicle of a disaster foretold, eh.

At the U.K. box office, Vettaikkaran has brought nothing but shame to Vijay in the opening weekend.

Oh well, for a clown who gave us crappy movies like Villu and Kuruvi shame is surely an old companion.

Folks, Vettaikkaran has fared worse than recent Tamil movies like Kanthaswamy (Vikram) and Aadhavan (Surya).

By the way, Vettaikkaran has achieved the impossible feat – it has done so much worse than even that abomination Kuruvi.

No kidding, 44% less than Kuruvi. Now, that’s straight out of Ripley’s Believe It or Not.

For the December 18-20, 2009 opening weekend at the U.K. box ofice, Vettaikaran brought in a piffling £43,608 from 12 theaters. The film came in at No-14 and had an average gross of £3,634.

Here, take a look at how badly Vettaikkaran has fared at the U.K. box office vis-a-vis a few prominent Tamil movies:

Related Stories:
Sura Review – Colossus of Nonsense
Vettaikaran Review – Punnaku Pandi & the Dysentery Before Sura
Thirupaachi Review – Punnaku Pandi and the Capture of Bin Laden
Madurey Review – Punnaku Pandi and the ‘Negro Problem’
Sivakasi Review – Punnaku Pandi and the art of Nonsense
Kuruvi Review – Nonstop Nonsense
Villu Review – Revoltingly Bad