Kidnap – Lousy Boob Show

Thieving Bollywood Scumbags Strike Again with Kidnap

Hey, if we were desperate to drool over some nice boobs we’d have gone to a titty-bar not to the Kidnap movie to ogle at Minissha Lambha’s not-so-great tatas on a screen that’s over 30-feet away.

Minissha Lamba’s so-so hooters notwithstanding, Kidnap director Sanjay Gadhvi milks them knockers all he can in desperate hopes of holding on to viewers attention.

Sure, Minisha Lambha’s titties are better than Aishwarya Rai’s bee-stings but still they ain’t nothing to write home about.

Whether it’s the tits, the story, the acting or the music, Kidnap is the pits. This movie just doesn’t have any saving graces.


And we are very disappointed because we’d pinned much hopes on this movie because of Imran Khan’s compelling performance in Jaane Tu Yaa Jaane Naa.

But in Kidnap, Imran Khan is a shadow of his JTYJN self. His dialogs in Kidnap are mostly flat and the range of emotions and expressions he brought to the screen showed a very limited repertoire.

At times, Imran Khan seemed to borrow heavily from the Abhishek Bachchan zombie-school of acting a.k.a sleep-walking through the role leading us to ask ourselves whether JTYJN was a mere fluke.

In several crucial scenes, Imran Khan just doesn’t deliver the acting goods. Like for instance in his confrontation with Sanjay Dutt or the near-rape of his victim after she stabs him with a broken bottle in a bid to escape.

From the horrible actress Minissha Lamba, not much was ever expected. And not much was delivered except in the way of more skin-display here compared to her previous flick Bachna Ae Haseeno. In that sense, Kidnap may even be seen as Minissha’s first foray into the skin-flick genre of movies.

Whether this sexposure will pay off for Minissha Lambha in the long run, remains to be seen.

Sanjay Dutt, who plays Minissha’s billionaire take-control father, doesn’t do anything spectacular to earn our admiration and neither does Vidya Malvade, who plays Minissha’s mother.

As is to be expected from the title of the movie, 18-year-old Sonia (Minissha Lambha) is kidnapped by Kabhir (Imran Khan) to settle an old score with her father, the billionaire Vikrant Raina (Sanjay Dutt).

If Vikrant Raina wants to get his daughter back, he has to follow a bizarre set of clues left by Kabhir.

The story did not hold our interest for long because it didn’t bring anything new and the whole kidnapping and clues thing were all too clumsily handled.

Good kidnap dramas like the Denzel Washington-Dakota Fanning  movie Man on Fire heighten the excitement by showing the actual kidnapping and the accompanying violence in great detail . None of that was seen in Kidnap wherein the actual kidnap scene was kidnapped by the director Sanjay Gadhvi and shown all too briefly later.

The revenge element too failed to build up into a nice drama and fell flat because of the limitations of the story and ho-hum acting by the dramatis personae.

The ending was as amateurishly done as the rest of this boring movie.

Unlike the well picturized peppy numbers in JTYJN like Pappu can’t dance saala, none of the songs in Kidnap sent our adrenalin rushing.

Titillation, by way of thrusting Minissha’s tits into our face, was the sole raison d’etre of the two songs Mausam and Hey Ya. But that trick didn’t work, at least not on us. Other tittophiles may have different opinions, of course.

We found Meri Ek Ada Shola more tolerable than the other songs.

Bottomline – Kidnap, like Abhishek Bachchan’s Drona, is worth missing.

5 Responses to "Kidnap – Lousy Boob Show"

  1. araj   October 4, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    The premise for ‘Kidnap’ looks suspiciously close to that of ‘Butterfly on a Wheel'(Pierce Brosnan, Gerard Butler etc.,)….. Responds:

    The movie you cite above was released as Shattered (2007) in the U.S. We’ll get the DVD next week & see if the folks who made Kidnap have kidnapped the plot from the Hollywood movie.

    We didn’t want to wait for Netflix (it would have taken at the least until Wednesday to get the Shattered/Butterfly on a Wheel DVD)…so we headed over to Blockbuster and got the DVD.

    We watched Shattered and did a post. The title of the post Thieving Bollywood Scumbags Strike Again with Kidnap says it all.

  2. nishantkyal   October 4, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    Well said. You nailed it!

    I didn’t have any hopes either and dunno why turned to watch this movie when I had set out to watch hell boy. Why do kidnap stories need to have seduction songs? Do Indian actresses have nothing but tits to show? Responds:

    You write above: Do Indian actresses have nothing but tits to show?

    Since most of the Indian actresses have zero acting talent, they’ve no recourse but to fall back on tit-illation to retain the audience’s attention.

  3. ajayrocks   October 5, 2008 at 2:34 am

    you are saying that indians actress don’t know how to act and thats why they show tits,then what do you say about all the totally nude sex scenes of sharon stone[especially basic instinct],pamela anderson and angelina jolie’s scene in original sin.I have hardly seen all of them acting

    the main problem with kidnap was that it was boring in the second half and is streatched

    Did u see zakham Responds:

    1. Yes, we’ve seen Zakhm.

    Lovely movie. One of the finest Hindi movies we’ve seen lately. Much better than Gangajaal.

    The hero of Zakhm is the compelling story not Ajay Devgan. Full credit to Mahesh Bhatt for the story & screenplay (with Tanuja Chandra).

    Ajay Devgan’s performance was nothing to write home about. In two scenes, Ajay Devgan was pathetic. First, when he tells Sonali, Vo bachcha mera bhi hai and second, when he initially comes to the hospital and blabbers after seeing his mother Meri maa. In both scenes, Ajay was most unimpressive.

    The kid, who played the younger Ajay, was remarkable. Wonder where he is now?

    Pooja Bhatt did a decent job too.

    Nagarjuna, who plays Ajay’s father and Pooja Bhatt’s husband, was plain awful.

    Sonali Bendre is completely irrelevant to the movie.

    2. Angelina Jollie is a decent actress, with or without her clothes. As for the other two you mention above, they are ignorable.

  4. mochachillo   October 7, 2008 at 3:31 am

    ‘The kid, who played the younger Ajay, was remarkable. Wonder where he is now?’

    The little kid, Kunal Khemu, who also starred in Hum Hain Rahi Pyar Ke and Raja Hindustani is an aspiring hero now. He’s come in movies like Dhol and Superstar. Responds:

    Thanks. We’ve seen Kunal Khemu in Kalyug.

    We liked Kalyug.

  5. natz_mm   November 3, 2008 at 9:52 am

    Kidnap could have been handled in a better way, the cast wasn’t bad, except having Vidya Malvade playing Minissha’s mom! {gimme a break!}

    The execution was bad, the music, awful! considering it was Pritam’s, he’s done a few good things in the past

    You mentioned Minissha’s skimpy dressing etc., I’d like to add that the scene where Imran takes off his shirt was equally disturbing, he really needs to visit the gym! Responds:

    Perhaps, we had too high expectations because of JTYJN.

    Also, Kidnap was a shameless lift of Shattered, which few have commented on.

You must be logged in to post a comment Login