Bollywood Obituary Notice; R.I.P. Abhishek

After all efforts to revive them failed, the following Bollywood actors have been moved from the ICU to the morgue.

Please pray that their tormented souls may rest in peace.

Abhishek Bachchan
Bobby Deol
Sunny Deol
Tusshar Kapoor
Vivek Oberoi
Riteish Deshmukh
Fardeen Khan
Suniel Shetty

Amisha Patel
Bhavana (Tamil)
Esha Deol
Preity Zinta
Rani Mukerji
Sadha (Tamil)
Neha Dhupia

7 Responses to "Bollywood Obituary Notice; R.I.P. Abhishek"

  1. satya   October 9, 2008 at 12:15 pm

    R.I.P in terms of acting or in terms of career.

    if you’re speaking about career then i dont think we have seen the last of Abhishek Bachan. That guy gave 12 straight flops early in his career but still manges to get big budget movies. Wonder why 😉 ? Responds:

    Abhishek will continue to get roles here and there because of the fortuitous accident of being born into the Bachchan family.

    Even after dozens of movies, this bozo is simply pathetic as far as acting.

    Unless Abhishek gets a brain transplant his Bollywood career (by which we mean being in the big league like SRK, Hrithik Roshan and Akshay Kumar) is finished and he will slowly fade into oblivion.

    It’s hard to imagine why any sensible producer would want to invest in this dodo unless there are other factors involved that are hidden from view.

  2. gandhiji   October 9, 2008 at 1:29 pm

    Bhavana is too young to be written off. She’s alright when compared to .. Neha Dubya. Responds:

    1. You write above: Bhavana is too young to be written off.

    Sure, Bhavana is young, pretty and packs some nice bodacious tatas too. 😉

    But her movies are failing to leave any impact.

    2. You write: She’s alright when compared to .. Neha Dubya.

    Even a cockroach is better than Neha Dhupia

  3. navaraj   October 9, 2008 at 11:15 pm

    Abhishek bachan sucks…….. personally i feel that even Amitabh cannot act……he clicked only he because he was at the right place at the right time……… Responds:

    We’ve always believed that Rajesh Khanna was a better actor compared to Amitabh Bachchan. But as you said above Amitabh was at the right place at the right time.

  4. kiran   October 10, 2008 at 4:59 pm

    The only reason Amitabh was put on number one slot is bcos our good looking guy Vinod Khanna (who was giving Amitabh the run for his money) went into hibernation.
    you are right rajesh khanna was a better actor however he got killed by his own brand of “over confidence” Responds:

    And then Vinod Khanna heard the siren call of that Rolls-Royce Swamiji – Osho a.k.a Rajneesh.

  5. orangezeb   October 14, 2008 at 3:48 am

    A few points to consider:

    Ashok Kumar gave 61 years in Bollywood-from 1936-1997; Pran about 62 years. Abhishek is going on year 8. Let us see, how many more years he can muster. I once read that Abhishit is a lamba race ka ghoda, but I don’t know about that.

    Amitabh would try to bring down SRK so the former’s son can claim the top spot. It may seem like Rajesh Khanna all over but I don’t think SRK would fall for that. AB has tried and failed to bring SRK down and put his [vulgar word] in the No. 1 spot. SRK is just too talented and versatile. Even if Abhishit knocked SRK out of the top spot, Amitabh’s son would not have much staying power for he too is getting old and in Bollywood, top stars are like a commodity: they come and go. Amitabh can churn out films with him and Ash and his [vulgar word] but Indian janta can’t stand year after year of family musicals. They would realize Amitabh is doing it to save his son’s ass.

    Abhishek was lucky to do the extremely expensive over-hyped Unforgettable tour before Drona came out. If he did it after, I don’t think people would have paid $450 to see the Bachachans.

    Abhishit’s remaining offerings are Dostana: about a homosexual couple trying to vye for a girl and Dili 6. I hardly think that either will be blockbusters. After that, I don’t think he has anything in the pipeline in terms of release. He can spend time screwing his wife and go with her around the world to Cannes and premieres to films that she has acted in for non-Hindi films which I think will be slim pickings next year and into 2010 for even she is starting to look old. No matter how much L’Oreal makeup you put on an old woman, you still have an old woman!

    Finally, how many Hollywood male stars that were successful had beards? how many Bollywood male stars that were successful had beards? Sorabh Modi? But do you really think ye chakkaa-Abhishit can act as good as Sohrab Modi?

    I personally think Abhishek aka Alfred Molina should quit films and become a bhelpuriwalli in Belapur, Mumbai! He would have better luck professionally. Responds:

    1. You write above: No matter how much L’Oreal makeup you put on an old woman, you still have an old woman!

    Nice one.

    2. You write: I personally think Abhishek…should quit films and become a bhelpuriwalli in Belapur, Mumbai! He would have better luck professionally.

    But the quality of the Bhelpuri in the Belapur area would nosedive and require a different name to describe it after Abhishek works his angst into the ingredients.

  6. orangezeb   March 5, 2009 at 11:46 pm

    His breakout role in Yuva as quintessential for hire goonda, Lallan Singh was perfect for him. Filmfare gave him an award technically of being the best goonda on film. He played with brilliance because only goonda-type roles are made for him. I am so glad that Hrithik won the Filmfare for 2008 although I would have been equally pleased if Aamir had won: these two gave extremely strong performances. To nominate Abhishit in this group of actors is an insult. It is just too damn bad that Hrithik did not get hitched with Aishwarya or there would have been magic on and off screen! Responds:

    You write above: I would have been equally pleased if Aamir had won

    Ghajini was stolen shit.

  7. orangezeb   March 6, 2009 at 10:37 am

    I guess Amitabh should convice a director/producer to make a film with his bachha in which a man loves a woman who gets killed by goons, he goes through pain and loses his memory, and writes stuff down on his body to get his memory back. He can always add a catchy tune in the film like, “Rock and roll soniye Part II” with Amitabh dancing with girls 1/3 his age along with his baccha! Like Bollywood films try to copy Hollywood films, Abhishek’s baap/agent/mentor can try to copy SRK/Hrithik/Aaamir’s films to rescue this idiot’s dying career. Responds:

    It’ll be very hard to salvage Abhishek’s flagging career unless the dodo gets down to some hard work.

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