Incredible India – 5

Here comes yet another instalment of Incredible India featuring those only-in-India stories.

* Checking adulterants for adulteration. Apparently, there is so much adulteration of gold in India that the prices of adulterants have shot up, leaving jewelers worried about adulteration of the adulterants. Read this excerpt:

It is paradoxical, but both iridium and ruthenium have now become such high-priced substances that buyers get both these adulterants tested too, just to ensure that the metals are not adulterated with another cheaper substance.

* Even children’s kites can threaten Maya behnji. Yes, the sentinels around Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister, who moves around with a convoy of security cars second only perhaps to the U.S. President Barack Obama, are worried that her life may even be threatened by a kite. So, they banned kites in the vicinity of the Republic Day parade. Here’s an excerpt from the Times of India story:

Elaborate security arrangements for the Republic Day parade this year include a “No Flying Zone” (NFZ) over the area where chief minister Mayawati will be seated outside the Vidhan Bhawan building. But mind you, this NFZ is not for aircrafts. Instead, it is for kites. Yes! Kites made of paper and bamboo sticks.

The whole idea may sound confusing but it is true. So concerned are the state government agencies about the CM’s security that they have decided not to allow anyone to fly kites in the airspace above the parade route. A security threat from a paper kite may sound absurd, but officials associated with the CM’s security insist they do not want to take any chances whatsoever.

* Hard to beat this bureaucratic snafu. The Padma Shri was recently awarded to a J&K exporter mistakenly believed to be a master craftsman of Kani shawls. No kidding.

* BJP’s Sports Cell in Bihar is holding a meeting on Terror. Yes, terror. Now you know why neither our sportsmen nor our terror-fighters amount to a hill of beans. Here’s an excerpt:

The BJP sports cell will be organising a meet on terror, Atankvaad Mitao, Desh Bachao (end terrorism and save the country), on February 2. Actor and former MP Shatrughan Sinha and journalist M J Akbar will be the star speakers.

Deputy CM Sushil Kumar Modi and Bihar’s health minister Nand Kishore Yadav and several other BJP MPs will be attending the event. Akbar will be the main speaker at the function to be held at S K Memorial Hall.

* The Siddhivinayaka Temple trust will have an AK-47 equipped security squad. Read this excerpt from the DNA story:

The Siddhivinayak temple trust will have its own security squad which is capable of handling terror-like situations. With the state government approving the plan in principal, the temple trust is all set to buy 20 AK-47 rifles and appoint 40 trained security personnel. The squad, equipped with the latest arms and ammunition, will be on par with the police force in technical terms.

Temple trust has time and again expressed concern over the security of the temple that attracts 1.5 million devotees on the auspicious days of chaturthis.

Mera Bharat Mahaan.

8 Responses to "Incredible India – 5"

  1. guruprasad.s   January 29, 2009 at 11:16 pm

    The incidents reported under this heading are becoming less and less ‘incredible’ by the day.

    Nothing incredible about the last two items.
    Sports guys discussing terror with M.J.Akbar (a veteran journalist) may not root out terrorism, but it is not inappropriate either. It could be an awareness program, which is not bad in itself.

    Siddhivinayaka Temple beefing up its security is very normal, considering the terrorist attack on Akshardham temple a few years back. I find nothing amusing in that, only that it is a bit late.

    Mayawati’s security fears may be exaggerated, but a friend of mine (from Ahmedabad, where kite-flying is popular during January) got a deep cut on his forehead while travelling by bike. The cut was due to the manja (twine) of the kite. You may know that the manja contains finely ground glass. He said he was lucky, since people travelling on bikes/scooters have been fatally injured due to the manja cuts near their necks.
    Rather, these people, while driving, run into taut manja.
    You may visualize some members of Mayawati’s security convoy travelling on Bullets (bikes).

    Surely these are not ‘can-happen-only-in-India’ stories, so I hope SI is more objective in future and does not include events only to mandatorily bring out the next issue of Incredible India. Responds:

    1. You write above: I hope SI is more objective in future and does not include events only to mandatorily bring out the next issue of Incredible India.

    Lo, there comes the Incredible Whiner. Ella, namma hane-bara swami (all, our fate). 🙂

    2. You write: It could be an awareness program, which is not bad in itself.

    Back when we were in India, we’d heard of family planning awareness program, loan mela awareness program, IRDP awareness et al.

    But a Terrorist Awareness Program? Well, that’s a novelty and lo there you have another instance of Incredible India.

    3. Some of our most nostalgic moments are of flying kites from the balconies of neighbors’ homes. We’ve never seen anyone flying kites here…wonder if it’s not allowed?

  2. Asha Tampa   January 30, 2009 at 3:04 am

    The gold thing is really hilarious. This might be what they call heights of adultery!!!

  3. Noble   January 30, 2009 at 3:37 am

    You sick headed b******. Can you write something are searching the shit and posting here…instead of search india you should change it to search*******.com
    [Trash talk]
    You better change you site name or you will be [trash talk] Responds:

    Vandatangapa comedy pasanga (here come the clowns).

  4. Noble   January 30, 2009 at 3:47 am

    so you digg lots of facts about you are totaly free to do this?are you a reporter? Journalist?or just a hard core patriotic INDIA who strave to better India by woring smart by posting these thing in net and winning the heart of all and want to become Prime Minister one day?

    Why cant you write the comedy at World Economic Forum, when you make fun of India…you need to do it Globally too…

    Your writing is realy hurting…ofcourse mistakes are done.I am feeling too humiliated by your writing about Indians as Dogs..beggars..!!!You may be born and brought up in an uncivilised family but pl mind your sentence…I mean not the spelling mistake or the grammar.I mean the meaning.YOUR WRITING SHOULD YIELD RESULTS NOT TO EASE YOURSELF IN THE AMRCHAIR COMMENTS WITH FAUL LANGUAGE

    I WANT TO SCOLD YOU LOUDLY,[Trash Talk] Responds:

    God, it must take special effort to write your kinda English.

    Why don’t you stick to Tamil blogs.

  5. Harry Butt   January 30, 2009 at 11:06 am

    I don’t know any Uttar Pradeshi.. Should it be behjni or behnji or

    Noble is funny. Responds:


    Fixed. Thanks.

  6. joeantony   February 2, 2009 at 1:50 am

    Noble : Your writing is realy hurting…

    Its not SI’s writing that is hurting Noble, the fact that hurts is what ever is written here is 100% true.

    India is turning into a very stinky state day by day.

    The National commission for woment itself is justifying the act of those molesters of mangalore. That is the country we live in. The CM of another state (Rajasthan) is supporting them as well. We are turning in to a SICK nation. The rapists and molesters are getting voted by people, day by day we are getting poorer, day by day starving deaths, malnutrition deaths increases.

    India is having a nuclear bomb but not food for every citizen. We have to accept first that we are a ugly state before we try to reform it.

  7. Asha Tampa   February 2, 2009 at 4:32 am

    Lol, just had a good laugh, and I’m sure you know the reason why!

    Hey, read in another section that you decided to skip Luck by chance, why? Cmon, what can be more tempting than a film on Bollywood itself?

    I watched Luck by chance this weekend, and, though it has really good performances, I dint find the story that riveting, maybe thats because I watched SM last weekend; it’s going to take some time to beat that one.

    SM has released in all major theatres here at Hyd, and, the response is also good. It’s usually difficult gettin tickets to any movie on weekends, and for SM the “housefull” message is still going strong.

  8. joeantony   February 4, 2009 at 3:42 am

    Noble : still I feel proud to be an Indian.

    funny. Instead of bitching around, why dont you come up with a list that makes india really makes incredible like this.

    1. India has taken only 60 years to reach top 15 great economies of the world. (pakistan is somewhre around 49 still)

    2. India has survived the economic boil down better than other asian countries.

    3. World cheapest laptop PC (20%) is in proto in India, for educational purpose.

    4. India is the fourth largest buying power economy in the world – no country could grow like this when it was just 60 years old.

    5. India is the only sovereign country that practiced democracy througout its term. (only one time it was at stake while on emergency) – look at other countries like pak, thai etc how many coup attempts.

    6. India is the only country that managed to live without any civil war after it has become a republic state. (Look at US – it history was written in blood of civil wars)

    7. India can destroy atleast 4 big cities like beijing with its Nuke cum missile power.

    8. India has the largest land travel infra network in the world (both rail and road) and are public and serving millions – no other country does this.

    I can go on to list things like these… but to be frank NONE of these could make me proud to be and Indian, because if we can list some 10-20 of good points like this we can list some 1000 realities that are stinky and ugly. Responds:

    You write above: India is the only country that managed to live without any civil war after it has become a republic state

    India may not have had a national civil war but it has had prolonged pockets of violence in states like Mizoram, Assam, West Bengal (Naxal movement), Kashmir, Punjab (during the 1980s) and low-level violence in Jharkhand, parts of Maharashtra and Orissa.

You must be logged in to post a comment Login