Let’s face it – New York City is expensive.
Everything in the Big Apple is really expensive.
Blame it on the swines on Wall Street.
But you can still save a bunch when you visit NYC if only you know how-to.
Here are some money-saving tips for our desi cheapo tourists visiting New York City:
1. Metropolitan Museum of Art a.k.a. Met (located on 5th Ave at 82nd St) – One of the finest museums in the world. Although the suggested admission fee is $20, you can pay whatever you feel like. Do not feel embarrassed by those standing around you. Remember, you are a desi and cheapo is your creed. Yes, even a quarter (25 cents) is fine. For a family of four, instead of paying $80, you can walk in by paying just $1. Now, that’s a deal our desis would love. Whatddaya think?
2. Heading for the Sex Museum – Use the $3 coupon on the Web site or ask for it at the door. The Sex Museum is located at the intersection of 5th Avenue & 27th Street). Of course, we’ve been there. How could you even think otherwise.
3. Even if you are dying of hunger, think 100 times before you visit an Indian Restaurants in NYC. Most Indian restaurant in New York City serve horrible caricatures of Indian cuisine. Forget palatable, the food at a lot of Indian restaurants including Dhaba, Surya, Utsav or Ayurveda Cafe is not even edible.
If you are really desperate for decent Indian food, we recommend you visit the Dosa-man Thiru in Washington Park. From his humble Dosa cart at Washington Square Park South in downtown Manhattan, Thiru offers a variety of Dosas – Sadha Dosa, Rava Dosa, Masala Dosa, Uthappam and the hot favorite, Pondicherry Dosa.
4. Visiting the Bronx Zoo – Do it on a Wednesday. Although the suggested donation is $15, you can get in by paying just a dime (10 cents). For a cheapo desi family of six, that’s a massive saving of $89.40. As good as free, na?
Unfortunately, when we went to the Bronx Zoo many years ago it was on a weekend. We did see our first polar bear there though.
5. Do not use cabs. New York City has a creaky but decent subway system (nothing compared to Europe, of course). For the most part, the NYC subways are safe. When you enter the subway, ask the clerk sitting behind one of those bullet-proof windows for a free map. You like free, na? The map is useful. Do not even try to listen to what comes over the speakers in the subway cars. That’s not meant for humans to understand.
Yes, you can take photographs inside the subways. If a NYPD cop asks you not to take pictures, tell him to read up on the rules before bothering you again. But do not be so dumb as to use the flash when the train is approaching.
6. Stay away from New York City Cops. They are known to engage in nasty practices like shoving a stick up your a**hole or shooting you dead if you are merely reaching for your wallet. No kidding. You don’t believe us? Just google Abner Louima or Amadou Diallo. Staying away from the NYPD clowns could be cheaper than paying a fortune in medical expenses to repair your ruptured a**hole or funeral expenses.
7. Museum at the Fashion Institute of Technology (located on 7th Ave and 27th St) – Free, absolutely pukkat. No, we haven’t been here.
8. Do not buy anything (not even a water bottle) in the Times Square area. All overpriced stuff that you can get cheaper elsewhere. New York water is generally safe to drink. If you are staying in a hotel, fill up your water bottle there.
Back when we used to live in the New York area, we drank the water from the tap without any visible effects. Well, if we pop off before the age of 90, we’ve authorized our heirs to blame the H20 we drank in the area. After all, next only to cheap stuff we cheapoÂ desis like to whine about everybody and everything. Right, na?
Above all, never lose sight of the fact that we desis are the cheapest SOBs on this planet bar none. Folks, that reputation did not come by easily. It took decades of shameless-cheating, hard-bargaining and all kinds of cheapo behavior for us desis to struggle our way to the top of the dirtheap.
So, remember when you visit NYC the desi dishonor is in your hands oops wallet. Do not spend one cent more than necessary.