My, my, how time flies.
See, it’s already 18-days since the last update of Incredible India.
Time for a new edition of Incredible India, folks.
Bet all ye schmucks in boondocks-land think that stripteases are only in Hollywood movies or enacted out by all those immoral White bitches and Black sluts for the horny bastards in America, right.
Shows how little you know, you putzheads.
While you were sleeping, India not only turned into the numero uno rape destination of the world but Indians have embraced striptease acts with mucho gusto.
Of course, our Indian puritans are no strangers to striptease – after all, Indians tried the greatest striptease ever on the polyandrous Draupadi a gazillion years back (read the Mahabharat epic for details).
When it comes to striptease acts, Indians, however, have evolved their own unique version or ishtyle as the folks back home call it.
Not for our priapic Indians, the sedate L.A. (Century Blvd) or pre-Giuliani Times Square NYC version of a woman slowly divesting herself of all her vestments.
Heck, our Indians want more fun and more participation in their striptease acts.
Striptease, the Indian ishstyle usually involves a group of men, sometimes inebriated but more often sober, pouncing upon a hapless woman in public and tearing out her clothes as she howls in shame and agony.
Usually, the Indian striptease is enacted in a prominent public place with plenty of onlookers including the family of the woman.
How much does it cost to watch an Indian striptease, you ask?
Dickhead, it’s all pukkat (free).
Hey, there’s no compulsion to buy high-priced drinks either like we were forced to on Century Blvd in L.A.
But the Indian version is mostly standing room only and since 99.99% of the time it’s done out in the open, there’s no air-conditioning.
Must be hard to endure the heat, na (we meant the summer heat moron, not the heat in your loins).
Just in case you are curious, Indians do not engage in age-discrimination when it comes to public stripping – young, MILF or old, anyone’s fine as long as the person has XX chromosomes.
Lest you think we’ve consumed more Bailey’s in one sitting than is good for us, here are some recent notable striptease incidents:
* India’s latest striptease act was in Patna (capital of the North Indian state of Bihar), where a young woman from neighboring Jharkand was stripped in public on the busy Exhibition Road by a group of men (who else) on Thursday, July 23.
* A day later, on Friday a woman in her 50s was stripped, again in Patna (near the temple in HIG Colony).
* A few weeks earlier, villagers from Pardiyavali (near Aligarh in the state of Uttar Pradesh) stripped a woman because her son had committed the monumental folly of falling in love with a girl from another caste.
* A few days prior to the Pardiyavali incident (see above), four policemen from Khandela area of Sikar district (in Rajasthan state of North India) are alleged to have stripped and assaulted a Dalit woman. What’s the big deal? Just another day at work for the Indian pigs in Khaki.
* Oh, no. The folks in South India are as keen on striptease acts as the UP and Bihari Bhaiyyas in the north.
A few years back, a young woman from Vanenur village in Bellary district of Karnataka was stripped and paraded naked for two hours on suspicion of helping another girl to elope.
Did we hear someone yell Mera Bharat Mahaan?
No? You sure?
We could have sworn we heard the dirge Mera Bharat Mahan.