Now, Who Could Brian Possibly be Referring to?

19 Responses to "Now, Who Could Brian Possibly be Referring to?"

  1. Vetti Jijaji   October 7, 2009 at 9:55 pm

    very funny, why didn’t you return his call.. Responds:

    You write: why didn’t you return his call [e-mail actually]

    Too shy.

    You knew that, didn’t you. 😉

  2. Dr.UnkHaf D. Aktar   October 8, 2009 at 4:35 am

    NewJersey Dispatch >> The New York Times >> Network Television
    You could be the Masked Epicurean (like the Masked Magician). Just remember, I pitched you the idea.. 😉 Responds:

    You write: You could be the Masked Epicurean (like the Masked Magician)

    More likely, the Gluttonous Gourmand.

  3. What_if   October 8, 2009 at 5:01 am

    @SI to Vetti : Too shy. You knew that, didn’t you.

    Yeah, we knew that 😉

    Vetti, didn’t you know that, giving an Interview would “Expose” our SI ?

    Aiyaho! What would happen to SI’s attempts so far, with a standard answer (to readers queries regarding gender) like:- “When did we let you have a peek under our dress” OR yemandi, ma battalu yeppudaina ethi chupinchama (did we ever raise our dress) and so on…., wouldn’t all that crash down like a pack of cards? 😉 Responds:

    Rumors of SI’s existence are greatly exaggerated.

    SI is just a dissociated self of its readers, a la Fight Club.

  4. gnair91   October 8, 2009 at 6:43 am

    angry guy ? i would have guessed an angry couple in their 40s curry-bashing their way through anything indian… Responds:

    1. You write: angry guy ? i would have guessed…

    Why not an angry gal. 😉

    People have this deluded notion that gals are incapable of anything beyond making an isosceles triangle of their lower limbs.

    Make no mistake, we’re no misogynists here and do love our isosceles triangles. 😉

    But to tell you like we see it – the devious female mind has no parallel.

    2. Some of the real Indian restaurants in NJPalace of Jaipur, Jhupdi, Swagath, Hoysala …..

  5. guruprasad.s   October 8, 2009 at 10:30 am

    It is time to zero-in on the exact identity (or somewhere close) of the SI folks.

    This thing has already gone on for one round earlier, where we readers took wild guesses.

    But let’s give it a more serious try again.

    Most of the readers anyway know the following, but no harm in summarizing.

    I dont expect SI to agree or contradict this, since doing either may give away some valuable information.

    1. You are a couple.

    2. You were born and raised in Tamil Nadu, but you also lived for sometime in Karnataka (Bengalooru/Mysooru)


    You were born and raised in Karnataka.

    How else would you know Kannada ?

    2. You folks have emigrated from India quite some time back, say about 30-35 years back. Although you have never explicitly stated this, this much seems evident in many posts of yours.

    3. So you must be 20-25 years of age (at least) when you emigrated.

    4. One of you had to be a doctor/engineer or some such thing, since you had to be skilled to emigrate to the USA.

    Given your polymath and tech-savvy nature, I will place you as an engineer. My friend’s dad used to say that doctors cant even pump air into their cycle tyres, let alone fix things. Sorry docs, no offence meant.

    So, husband is engineer and wife may/may not be engineer, but definitely more that a mere housewife.

    It is unlikely that in those days, the husband came to USA as a dependent.

    5. Now both of you are around 60-65, and spend your time (mostly) screwing Bollywood movies and most things Indian, and occasionally, when in a generous mood, praising them.

    Anything beyond this will be in the domain of imagination (so far, it was in the domain of speculation , and deduction from limited data). Responds:

    1. OK Sherlost Gnomes, here we come.

    If only all of the above weren’t egregiously wrong, we’d find the rum-inations amusing. 🙁

    2. You write: You were born and raised in Tamil Nadu, but you also lived for sometime in Karnataka (Bengalooru/Mysooru)


    You were born and raised in Karnataka.
    Or we were born and raised in Nelakondapalli, Pagidipalli, Matapalli, Wadapalli, Pathapatnam, Machilipatnam, Vishakapatnam, Yadawada, Vijayawada, Narkatpalli, Cheepurupalli, Bondapalli, Kondapalli or even Pochampalli.

    Entira tammudu, roju annam pedduthuna Telugu tallini marchipoyavu. Yemi papam chesindi (What crime did the Telugus commit that you should give them short shrift).

    3. You write: You are a couple

    What about our kittens? Not to forget our guinea pigs.

    Not a pet lover, are you. We mean the literal pet-lover not the come-hither-my-pet-let-me-stroke-your-back kind. 😉

    4. You write: Anything beyond this will be in the domain of imagination….

    Ha ha ha ha.

    Seriously, does the rest of the Khoday’s XXX induced Rum-nations bear any semblance to reality. 😉

    Well, a career in fiction beckons you. Now, there is your true métier.

  6. Dr.UnkHaf D. Aktar   October 8, 2009 at 1:09 pm


    yup, that about sums it up. (never mind the snotty SI comeback, nothing unexpected)

    Now add to that some obvious facts like current place of residence (New Jersey-Smbody help me wid is. I think we can get closer than an entire state. ) and v have our suspect population reduced to 1000-2000 sextarians..

    Offtopic, just finished watching Thirakkatha (2008). Very interesting premise(loosely based on Srividya and Kamal Haasan), executed fairly good.. Nice dialogues. I had given up all hope for mallu film industry, then one film comes along.. Responds:

    1. You write: yup, that about sums it up. (never mind the snotty SI comeback, nothing unexpected)

    It’s a hallmark of the Indian milieu, nay an Indian idiom itself, that an idle Narsimharaju always finds eager companions in other equally idle Balaiahs, Nageshs and Allu Rama Lingaiahs in futile pursuits.

    2. Just read about Thirakkatha on Wiki.

    Seems like an interesting movie.

    The story appears refreshingly novel, the cast is familiar with the concept of acting…but isn’t Priyamani too young to play the role of an yesteryear actress.

    Netflix doesn’t have the movie yet but indicates it will get it.

    3. Offtopic (to U.S. readers), is there anything worse in life than a Sam’s Club chocolate muffin?

  7. zxcvbnm3007   October 8, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    OFF TOPIC: What are you doing last couple of days? sleeping? Whole tamilnadu is burning 🙂 from this latest rig caused by bhuvaneshwari. Responds:

    Hey Cuddalore buddy, how ya doing. 😉

    Here’s a recent post:

    All Women are Cunts, All Men Pricks. Right, Na?

  8. zxcvbnm3007   October 8, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    More links Responds:

    If only Sripriya had brought the same fire and passion to her roles on screen as she does in the final moments of the second video link (above), the audience would have been happier.

  9. Vetti Jijaji   October 8, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    My theory: SI is a Tamil-Kannada (obviously the Tamil person is smarter because he/she is Tamil – hope to create confusion in their household with that statement)

    couple.. mid to late 40s (rather than 60s as guruprasad guessed) is their age group. And they live in god forsaken (they don’t even screen Indian movies there, apparently.. so should say “blessed” instead of god forsaken) [deleted], but they are deluded enough to think that they are New Yorkers. And they are filthy rich.

    One of them may be a Muslim and one of them may be gay.. but they are happy. One of them wears a skirt a lot, not sure if it is the guy or the gal. The lady doesn’t shave her underarms… what else..

    Brian, have you seen this post yet? Do our guesses help you a little?

    p.s.: I thought Aktar wouldn’t like guruprasad’s opinion about doctors.. he seems to be ok with it. Responds:

    You write: One of them may be a Muslim and one of them may be gay

    When we launch our Jihad against the bad commenters on SI, we’re coming after you first.

  10. guruprasad.s   October 8, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    I think the best way to catch the SI folks is to open a restaurant in NJ area, advertise heavily, in a provocative way (like “The best Indian food in the USA”, or “You havent tasted nothin if you havent dined at abc”), and lay in wait.

    Use a close circuit camera to record all customers, and specially look out for those who order a lot of food (gluttons, that is). You will have your man and woman.


    @ Dr.UnkHaf D. Aktar

    Based on the first two letters of your title (Dr., that is), I recall an incident I witnessed (which is applicable to the PhD doctorates and not the medical doctors).

    An accomplished professor Dr.X, who was about to deliver a lecture, was being introduced to the audience by a student.
    The student was reading the professor’s biography, which went something like “Dr.X worked on this,…., Dr.X has done profound work on the analysis of …”, and so on.
    Once however, the student forgot to mention the Dr., and merely stated “X is also interested in …”.
    Dr.X stopped the student immediately, and remarked:
    “It took me a good seven years of effort to earn those two letters in front of my name, so you better not miss those two letters. Now proceed.”
    Chastened, the student complied while the audience burst into a laugh. Responds:

    You write: I think the best way to catch the SI folks is to open a restaurant in NJ area

    Guess, it’s time to shift base to Virginia.

  11. Dr.UnkHaf D. Aktar   October 8, 2009 at 9:34 pm

    @Vetti Jijaji

    Its true. Most of the doctors are highly incompetent when it comes to fixing anything else other than the human body.

    Besides, I am just a student. And we get the egotist types too. One of my friends accidentally called our teacher cheta(brother) instead of the customary sir/madam and did he get it. It didn’t help that our teacher served in the army 15 years and retired a major. My friend broke down in the ward in front of so many patients. Responds:

    You write: My friend broke down in the ward in front of so many patients.

    You need to man up your friend like Clint Eastwood does to the Hmong kid in Gran Torrino. That was one hilarious scene in the movie.

    If you haven’t watched Gran Torrino, we strongly recommend it.

  12. Dr.UnkHaf D. Aktar   October 8, 2009 at 9:47 pm

    @guruprasad.s,@Vetti Jijaji

    The pursuit of the true identity of SI is rather a lost cause here. It appears vital information has been understandably censored (in Vetti Jijaji’s post and not the first time too)… Responds:

    You write: The pursuit of the true identity of SI is rather a lost cause here

    There was no cause to begin with.

    Just a wild-goose chase, chasing shadows.

  13. Dr.UnkHaf D. Aktar   October 9, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    @SI: If you haven’t..

    These are the stuff I watched recently:
    The Kite Runner
    The Other Boleyn Girl
    District 9
    A Wednesday
    American Pie 1,2,3 for the nth time(I know every dialogue now)
    Unfortunately, the movies I watch depend on what my friends are watching (since they are the day-scholars with unlimited broadband). I can always put in a request though… Responds:

    In your list, we’ve watched District 9 and A Wednesday.

    We’ll probably watch Wolf Creek this weekend.

  14. Dr.UnkHaf D. Aktar   October 9, 2009 at 2:02 pm

    When the Indian film industry produces something like District 9, not its hindi version with recycled sets of love story 2050, i mean something as entertaining (isn’t that what art is ultimately about), engrossing, avant-garde as District 9.. I would die a happy man. Responds:

    1. You write above: When the Indian film industry produces something….engrossing, avant-garde as District 9.. I would die a happy man.

    In that case, you’re doomed to unhappiness.

    2. These days, we spend a lot of money on making movies but most of them are crappy.

    Primarily because of two reasons: We lack the passion and we lack the talent/imagination.

    Cavite spent a fraction of what was spent on Aamir and yet was so much better.

  15. Dr.UnkHaf D. Aktar   October 9, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    Well, one can hope. There are a few that has talent. I just hope they don’t get sucked into the mainstream/has the misfortune of making films for money ALONE. Responds:

    True, we can keep hoping.

    Hope is a cheap heroin.

  16. Dr.UnkHaf D. Aktar   October 9, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    ‘Hope is the cheapest heroin’ sounds better. Has a proverbial ring to it. Responds:

    OK. We’ll have it your way

    Hope is the cheapest heroin. 🙂

  17. byarvin   October 15, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    “Too shy?”

    Oh come on! Responds:

    How you doin, Brian?

    That was an interesting piece.

    BTW, we’re planning on ‘dedicating’ our next Indian Restaurant Review to you. 😉

    So, watch out on your future trips to Indian restaurants in NJ.

    Who knows what strange ingredients will lurk in that garish red-colored Tandoori Chicken or the effete Masala Chai.

  18. byarvin   October 15, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    Are you kidding?

    If your trips to New Jersey Indian Restaurants are anything like mine – and it seems like your experiences are, if anything, better – you can’t set food in the door without “watching out.”

    Where exactly do you get Tandoori Chicken that you can stomach in this state? (I’ve got a secret source for Masala Chai so don’t worry.)The only Indian non-veg restaurant that I’ve ever in enjoyed in New Jersey was Hoysala and that was your doing.

    I’m glad to see you read It started as Ed Levine’s blog, but has expanded into a large online food magazine that at one point actually wanted to profile you. (And still might be interested…) Responds:

    1. Most Indian restaurants in NJ and for that matter in several other parts of the U.S. that we’re familiar with (like for instance CA, VA, PA, NY, DE, MD) are sham, dirty joints.

    Some of these shameless dumps go so far as to serve spoiled food. Disgusting SOBs.

    We recently dined at Palace of Jaipur in South Plainfield, NJ and liked the place. The Kebabs and Tandoori Chicken were decent at Palace of Jaipur.

    Sukh Sagar (again in South Plainfield, NJ) is decent for vegetarian food. Swagath on Oak Tree Road (in Edison), Sapthagiri in Jersey City and Madras Woodlands in New Hyde Park (Long Island) are also good for South Indian Veg food.

    2. We were looking at our referrer logs and found some referrals from your site. That’s how we found out about your piece.

    Guess, you must have discovered the SI blog the same way via referral logs (on Oct 8, there were quite a few clicks on the link to your piece).

    We have bookmarked your site and read it now and then.

    3. BTW, just curious. Have you seen any Bollywood films? They play in mainstream American theatres in NJ like Regal Commerce, Regal Burlington, Regal Hadley, AMC et al.

    As bad as the Indian food. 😉

  19. byarvin   October 16, 2009 at 7:14 am

    I almost never set foot in “mainstream American theaters” and haven’t seen a Bollywood film from end to end in almost twenty years. (although more years ago, when I lived in Jackson Heights, I actually rented one just to see what it was all about)

    However, my wife and I appeared to be the only non-Indians at the recent Indian independent film festival at Rutgers last weekend.

    India isn’t the only nation with a glorious culinary tradition that can’t seem to recreate their food in New Jersey restaurants. It’s just that none of the others have a guy like you to remind them. Responds:

    You write: haven’t seen a Bollywood film from end to end in almost twenty years

    Lucky you.

    The clowns in India make more movies than the fellas in Hollywood. Unfortunately, most of the output is plain trash or stolen from Hollywood.

    You do seem to have a strong ‘Indian connection.’ After all, you lived in Jackson Heights, a big hub of Indian activity in NYC.

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