Excuse us while we take a hot shower to rid ourselves of the putrid stench of Blue.
(SI is back after a long cleansing, purifying shower.) 🙁
Bollywood Trash King Akshay Kumar has outdone himself this time.
Folks, Blue is a horror show, the disgusting likes of which appear but rarely even in the fetid cesspool of Bollywood.
There is no story to speak of, zombie-like the stars Akshay Kumar, Sanjay Dutt, Lara Dutta and that halfwit Zayed Khan sleep-walk through their roles, the dialogs are very cliched, the music so pedestrian, and the underwater action scenes in this ‘Blue’ film utterly soporific.
Schmucks, repeated images of Lara Dutta’s tits (34B, any bets??) encased in a skimpy bikini or of her isoceles triangle below do not an action movie a make.
Rs 100-Crore Disaster
If indeed Rs 100-crore was spent on this vile trash, then the only parallel we have is the mad Roman Emperor Nero laying waste to the treasury in pursuit of his delusions.
When the history of Bollywood is chronicled, future writers will wonder how such a retard as Blue Director Anthony D’Souza was allowed anywhere near a camera.
By the way, this fella along with Jasmine D’Souza (any relation to the aforementioned retard?) take and deserve all the (dis)credit for the story and screenplay.
Pardon the pun but D’Souza and D’Souza are all at sea in the matter of story and screenplay. Kinda like Thomson and Thompson. Remember Tintin, anyone?
If you thought the Jessica Alba-Paul Walker Hollywood flick Into the Blue was B-Grade junk, then Blue, which copies its Hollywood predecessor in large measure including the locale, is a satanic piece of shit.
If you’ve watched Into the Blue, you’d quickly realize that Akshay Kumar, Sanjay Dutt, Lara Dutta and Zayed Khan have spent little time in the water before start of filming. Their dives into the blue water are so obviously clumsy and graceless.
Compared to Into the Blue, the underwater scenes are irritatingly banal.
Hey, even the sharks in Blue are the dumb Bollywood version. Too stupid to attack humans even after blood is spilled in the water. Must be herbivorous sharks if the scent of blood in the water doesn’t excite them. What say you?
Like Into the Blue, Blue is also the story of a search for a treasure in a sunken ship with some changes to avoid charges of total plagiarism.
Where the search for the treasure was handled with some B-grade finesse in Into the Blue, it’s a complete mess in Blue thanks to a bunch of nincompoops at the rudder.
None of the ‘actors’ add anything noteworthy to the movie. We might as well as have picked a bunch of strangers off the streets of Nassau.
Akshay Kumar is his usual indifferent self, mouthing inane dialogs (duniya ki sabse bade nashe – Risk) and laughing like an idiot.
The paunchy and out of shape Sanjay Dutt gets worse by the movie.
As for Lara Dutta, the less said of this bimbette the better for all of your sanity.
What about Zayed Khan, you ask? Someone please euthanize this moron. The collective IQ of Bollywood would at least double if this dolt is expelled from the film fraternity.
Music too amounts to little in Blue.
Even the much ballyhooed Piggy Shitty oops Chiggy Wiggy number by Kylie Minogue and Sonu Nigam lacks charm, a matter made worse by poor picturization.
In the end, to describe Blue as a movie (even a Bollywood movie) would strain credulity.
Guys, Blue is a movie that begs you to show it the middle finger.
Hesitate not to skip this mindblowing garbage.