Cheppu ra, Andhra vaallu eppudu kallu tagutara (hey, are the folks in Andhra forever imbibing moonshine)?
Folks, the unequivocal answer can only be a resounding Yes.
How else could this stupid shit Arya become a hit and why else would the Tollywood illiterati produce a followup (Arya 2) to this insufferable trash.
When we saw Geeta (Anuradha Mehta) tearfully ejaculate naaku Arya kaavali (I want Arya) on the marriage dais toward the end of the movie, we felt like screaming mee andariki tala kaavali (y’all need a brain).
Since our Netflix DVD of the Telugu movie Arya came with English subtitles (even for the songs), following this junk was not a big deal.
The Asinine Story
While there are many villains in Arya, first and foremost is the worse than sophomoric love story involving the movie’s eponymous young lad Arya (Allu Arjun) for Geetanjali (Anuradha Mehta), a fellow student in his college.
No matter that the gal has a steady nut-case of a boyfriend in Ajay (Siva Balaji), the son of a murderous politician, our young hero turns up proclaiming the wondrous virtues of one-sided love.
Yeah, you read right. This clown of a hero goes around sprouting the gospel of one-sided love including in that horrid Oh Brotheru song. No kidding.
Such is the trash that’s heaped on the heads of those unfortunate enough to see this crap.
The man (ir)responsible for this villainous folly unfolding on the screen is a former math teacher named Sukumar, who takes credit for the incomprehensible equation of the story, screenplay, dialog and direction.
Somebody ought to tell the pint-sized Allu Arjun that aerobics and neanderthal leaps at the banana on a high branch are not the same as dancing.
To see this short bozo take on thugs two times his size is to marvel at a squealing monkey running hither and thither with its tail afire.
Which One is It?
Anuradha Mehta went about the whole movie with an agonized expression on her face leaving us confounded as to whether the poor gal was suffering from dysmenorrhea or dyschezia.
Which one is it. Any idea, folks? 😉
As for as any acting talent in this girl, we found none although we looked hard from top to bottom of her anatomy.
When Geeta sighs Prema ante intaena, in-khemi laedha (is this all there’s to love), we sobbed Cinema ante intaena, in-khemi laedha (is this all there’s to cinema).
God, we’re still recovering from the Oh, My Brotheruu…One-Sidu Love ra ento Betteruu horror of a song and dance. Ugh.
And what’s with the mix of Hindi, English and Telugu in the songs. As in the You RockMy World nonsense.
The A ante Amalapuram item song/dance atop a moving train should really be T ante Trash.
Full Blown Idiocy
Why movies like Arya are made and how such shit turn into hits are questions best left to the kallu tagae pichchi vedhavaluku (hooch drinking idiots).
And horror of horrors, to think this cerebral trauma inducing colossus of nonsense a.k.a. Arya is inspiring a follow-on in Arya 2 is ample testament to the poverty of ideas and bankruptcy of talent plaguing Tollywood.
What a depressing spectacle.
Arya 2 Review – A Back-Alley Abortion