You hear us, Half-Dak, Vetti Jijaji, rgh3176, vivek?
Give us our $6 back.
Is this junk the movie that scared the bejesus out of all you pussies.
Thank God, we are cheapo desis and went for the Super-Bargain Matinee ($6 tickets) and didn’t fork out $10 for an evening show.
Not Scary in the Least
Folks, notwithstanding what you may have heard about Paranormal Activity there’s nothing even remotely scary about the movie.
Not even the final scene, which admittedly startled us but no more.
In its essence, the movie is about a haunted house in San Diego whose human denizens are Micah Sloat, a day-trader and his girl-friend Katie Featherston, an English major student.
We quickly learn that the ghost’s main interest is in Katie.
As the whisperings, scratchings on the wall and the open faucets get on Katie’s nerves, a psychic is called in but the guy is no help. He tells them the haunting is ‘feeding off on negative energy’ and recommends they employ a demonologist, who conveniently happens to be out of the country.
Over the course of the next several nights, the door closes on its own, noises are heard downstairs and coming up on the staircase, lights get switched on, shadows are seen, footsteps are seen on the white powder sprinkled by Micah, Katie is dragged out of bed once, the blanket slips off the bed and their photo-frame on the wall is cracked with a gash on Micah’s face in the picture.
None of it make a difference because Paranormal Activity is a shoddy film.
Made on the cheap, the quality of this 1-hour 22-minute movie is cheap too.
* The photography is jerky, thanks to the hand-held camera. On occasion, even blurry.
* The lighting is ordinary, with the bedroom filmed mostly in low-light.
* The dialogs mostly banal.
* The sound effects are pathetic and the prosaic sound of steps coming up the flight of stairs or something falling down are not quite enough to send a chill down your spine.
* Overall, the script leaves a lot to be desired and hardly holds you in thrall.
The 27-year-old Katie looks too-grown up for a student (out of sheer ennui, we started ogling her when she was in hotpants/shorts but her unsightly legs put us off).
On the positive side, the acting of the duo is alright but nothing remarkable.
Katie has a slightly larger role but Paranormal Activity is more of a director’s film (Oren Peli).
Folks, if you have lots of time this weekend we recommend that you sleep, wash your car, vacuum your home, scrub your dick, clear the underbrush off your girlfriend, wank off, watch the dreary C-SPAN proceedings of the Senate, read about that buffoon Raj Thackeray, hey, do anything but watch this junk a.k.a Paranormal Activity.
By the way, the only nice part of our movie outing this evening was the Peppermint Chocolate Milkshake ($2.65, small-size) we purchased at Chick-fil-A in the food court after leaving the movie hall.
Simply superb. Guys, we strongly recommend the Peppermint Chocolate Milkshake. But stay clear of the waffle fries. Plain garbage.
OK, folks. It’s nigh on 10PM here on the East Coast. Time to open our bottle.